~What Am I Feeling?~
~Chapter 14- A Little Experiment~
The day after Scorpius' revelation, came and went by quicker than he could of thought. It was all playing on his mind. Everything which had happened the last week, replayed over and over through his mind like a film. His thoughts were consumed by the confusion of his feelings for Albus. He reflected on his time with Albus and just everything about his best friend.
He even went through lunch with Chris, concentrating solely on Albus, even though he was no where in sight.
He was infatuated. He knew it. He loved everything about Albus. The desire to be with the other boy was only growing and growing now that he knew his feelings. He wanted to be around Albus all the time now he knew that he liked Albus in that way. When he was with Chris, he wanted Chris to be Al. When Danielle was with Albus, he wanted to be in her place. Though he was confused as to what would come of it. Letting it run it's course… was hard… seeing Albus with Danielle was hard. Yet he couldn't stop watching, he couldn't stop staring.
Really, it had all be rather surreal.
Albus and Scorpius planned to first test out Scorpius' power after lessons ended that day. They arranged to go to the Room Of Requirement so they were alone, which Scorpius was annoyed at himself for looking forward to so much. They had been to the Room of Requirement before. Albus had wanted to practice Quidditch on his own, so the room provided him with a Snitch for that and he brought his broom. While he was practicing, Scorpius had studied, the room giving him books and parchment. They had also been to one of James' parties earlier this year, which were always held in the Room of Requirement. Albus had enjoyed it, Scorpius not so much. It was a bit too overwhelming for the reserved boy who preferred to be in the company of a very limited amount of people.
After class, Scorpius and Albus headed to the Room of Requirement, walking three times past the hidden entrance opposite the tapestry. The door slowly appeared across the wall. They glanced up and down the corridor to check no one had spotted them before entering the room.
The room was a simple design; a roaring fire being what the furniture was revolved around. A sofa lay in front of it and the walls were a warm burgundy colour. The room was much smaller than it had been when Albus needed to practice Quidditch for obvious reasons. It was cosy and comfortable. They had needed it to be comfortable… neither knew exactly what was going to happen.
"Um… should we sit down?" Albus questioned, taking on a sheepish look.
Scorpius breathed out a shaky sigh, "Yeah… I guess we should…"
"Don't be nervous…" Albus offered a supportive smile and held out his hand for his younger friend, "It's only me. And nothing bad is going to happen."
Scorpius relaxed almost immediately, an effect Albus often had on him. He thought that maybe somehow Albus also had the same power as him, inflicting emotions on other people but he knew Albus was just a relaxing presence. You could be around Albus and he would calm you so much that eventually, you wouldn't have a care in the world for anyone else.
He slowly slid his own hand into Albus' grasp. Albus smiled again leading Scorpius over towards the sofa. He sat down first, his eyes fixed on Scorpius' silver ones. Scorpius joined him, bringing his knees to his chest, rocking a little. Albus crossed his legs, opening his mouth to speak but not finding the words to say.
"What now?" Scorpius mumbled, playing with the fabric on his trousers.
Albus chuckled, shrugging, "I don't know."
"I didn't think this would be so…" Scorpius' lips quirked slightly, "Awkward."
Albus huffed, throwing his eyes to the ceiling, "I guess you should just… wish an emotion on me."
"What emotion though? What feeling?" Scorpius shook his head frantically, "I don't know about this Al."
"Just… one that's obvious. One I'll really notice." Albus nodded firmly.
"Like what…?"
"Um… I don't know… You made James feel pain… maybe that's something I will be able to notice and everything."
"No!" Scorpius exclaimed immediately, "I could never wish that on you, never! Even though we don't know whether I can really control other people's feelings, I could never truly want you to be in pain let alone watch you be in pain, knowing I had caused it! Even with James… that was just a split second decision! Truly, I wouldn't even wish pain on him! But you… you're so important to me and I love you so much. I couldn't ever wish that on you."
Albus grinned in appreciation, his friend's words warming his heart. The problem was… Albus didn't know in which way his friend meant love, "Then what do you want me to feel?"
Scorpius blushed under his friend's loving gaze. It was as if Albus was admiring him, as if he was completely fascinated by Scorpius. Scorpius simply said, "I could only ever want you to be happy. That's all I could ever wish for."
"I feel the same, you know, for you," Al muttered quietly, "I want you to be happy."
"I could… try to make you feel the happiest you've ever been? I do want that…"
"I'll tell you if I feel any different…"
Albus gave a sign of approval. Scorpius stared at Albus, wishing as hard as he could that Albus would be happy. Making Albus happy was all Scorpius wanted to do. He wanted Albus to be as happy as possible and he would do anything he could to make the other boy happy. He didn't quite understand this odd desire to make Albus so happy. Scorpius suspected it was because Albus was so precious to him but really he didn't know quite how precious he found him.
They sat there, staring at each other intensely. Scorpius tried to squeeze his eyes tightly, as well as balling his hands up into fists but neither worked. He wished the way he had when it happened with James, but Albus didn't speak.
"I don't feel any different Scor…" Albus said softly, "Maybe… if you take your necklace off it might help? I don't know. We'll just need to try different things here."
Scorpius didn't want to take his necklace off. He was scared. He was just scared of what Albus was feeling. He would rather not know whether Albus has feelings for him or not, than know that he doesn't at all. It would hurt and he wasn't a Gryffindor, he wasn't brave. He wasn't ready to be hurt and shot down, even without Albus knowing, "No. I had my necklace on when I did that to James. So we should do that the same…"
"Yeah… I guess."
"Maybe it was just something that happened to James… we don't know."
"It just seems strange. It's too much of a coincidence really…" Albus lowered his head. He pulled his wand out his pocket and pointed it at the fire, "Incendio," The blaze of the fire started, the prickling sound crackling through the air, "We might as well keep trying."
"Okay…"
Another few minutes went by, the two still gaping at each other. Scorpius pressed his lips together in a line, desperately trying to concentrate on Albus' emotions.
He sighed, nibbling on his lip, "This isn't working."
"Maybe…" Albus pondered out loud. He shuffled forward, drawing Scorpius' hands out and caressing his soft skin, "Maybe with physical contact… it might help."
Scorpius was entranced as heat flooded to his face. Physical contact… physical contact… He knew Albus didn't meant what he was thinking by physical contact, didn't stop him from thinking and imagining… "Yeah."
They tried again and nothing happened. Albus felt exactly the same as he had done when he entered the room and his emotions had hardly changed. Yet, they stayed like this for at least ten minutes, getting lost in each other's eyes, valuing skin on skin contact and the perfection of their fingers entwined together.
After the time went by, Albus finally spoke, "Do you want to try again tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Scorpius breathed a sigh of relief, "Yeah. I'm tired now…"
Albus sniggered, swinging his legs off the couch, "Yeah, me too. For some reason, staring at your best friend for ages takes it out of you."
Scorpius giggled in return and also stood up. As they walked out the room, Albus wrapped his arm comfortably around Scorpius' shoulders.
The problem with their little experiment was, Scorpius could never change someone's emotions, if they already felt that way. Because… Albus was always happiest when he was with Scorpius.
~X~
They headed to dinner together after popping to the library to get a few books for Transfiguration. Professor Allaner had assigned them a 2ft essay for next week. The boys were going to be doing a lot of work.
Danielle soon slipped onto the table next to Albus, kissing his cheek softly. Scorpius had flashed red in jealousy, but he tried to ignore them. Louis and Martino joined them, interested in Scorpius' coming out to the school. Rose was also seated a few spaces away, this was the Gryffindor table after all.
"I just didn't think you would come out so soon," Louis shrugged as he slapped a piece of lamb onto his plate, "You seemed like you weren't ready at all when I spoke to you. I mean, you only just realised."
Albus and Danielle listened to the conversation intently as they discussed the happenings of the last week, "Well, I didn't think I would either. But… things just happen, don't they?"
"You mean… Chris happened?" Louis leaned across the table, winking suggestively.
"I'm glad you and Chris are going out in a way, because that means Louis can never leave me for him." Martino said solemnly, glaring at his boyfriend.
Louis made a fake shocked face before grinning. He pressed a sweet kiss to Martino's lips, "I would never leave you. You don't have to worry," Louis leaned his head on the Slytherin's shoulder, "But even so, I didn't think you would go public with him."
"I-I didn't think I should hide it really."
"Maybe you just shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place." Albus grumbled, pouting as he stuffed a mouthful of food into his mouth.
"Ooooh. Albus, jealous are we? Just because Scorpius has a stunning new boy and gets to spend some quality time with someone other than you, doesn't mean you should be so cold." Louis scolded playfully, yet somewhat knowingly.
"I'm not jealous!" Albus protested in instinct, knowing Danielle was there and could take it the wrong way, "I just didn't want Scor to rush into anything. But you know, that's his choice. If he wants to date Chris, he's free to. I don't care."
Scorpius rolled his eyes and his elbow shot out to nudge his friend's side, "He is sitting right next to you, and that means you don't have to address him as he."
"You know it's alright to be jealous, Albus," Rose Weasley piped in who as listening to the conversation in interest. She hoped to comfort her cousin but most likely just caused him more discomposure and bemusement, "You and Scorpius have been such good friends for so long, it's really quite natural."
Danielle flushed at this. She knew Albus was very close to the Malfoy boy and she had prepared herself for this when she said yes to Albus' proposal of them dating. But what she hadn't realised was they were so close that Albus would actually feel jealous when Scorpius started seeing someone as well.
"I'm sure Scorpius felt jealous too when you and Danielle started seeing each other." Rose added logically, looking to Scorpius.
A light crimson swept across Scorpius' white cheeks. Louis smirked at the boy's reaction, resting his chin on his hand, "Well, Scorpius? Were you also jealous when Albus starting dating the lovely Danielle?"
Scorpius stuttered for a moment, the whole of the group's attention fixated on the blonde, including Albus, who was more than curious to find out his friend's reaction to his first girlfriend. He did remember Scorpius running out suddenly when Albus told him about him and Danielle's relationship. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know how he did missed the fact that Scor must have been jealous.
"Y-yeah, I guess," Scorpius knew there was no getting out of it now. They would all see straight through any lies, "But I mainly just wanted you to be happy, Al."
Silver met emerald. The connection between the couple flowed and twisted in their guts and hearts.
But it was broken when a deep voice was heard behind them.
"Can I sit with you Scorpius?"
Scorpius broke his and Albus' passionate gaze, only to see Chris standing there with that signature engaging smile of his. Scorpius scrambled around for a moment in a panic, before scooting away in the opposite direction of Albus, leaving a gap between to two Ravenclaws. Scorpius dragged his plate in front on him, leaving the perfect space for Chris.
Chris' smile only widened in appreciation and he stepped into the gap between Al and Scor. The group watched Chris fixedly, Louis looking him up and down much to Martino's dismay.
In consideration of no one else, Chris bowed into Scorpius' lips, leaving a long, lingering kiss there. Scorpius' eyes widened in surprise, still not used to getting kissed just out of the blue, yet he reciprocated the contact.
Albus instantly tilted his head the other way when he realised Chris was stealing a kiss from his Scorpius. He had already seen far too much lip to lip contact from them for his liking, and did not really wish to see anymore. It only made the clenching in his heart plain painful.
"How was your day?" Chris asked pleasantly, his hand rested on Scorpius' neck intimately.
Scorpius smiled lightly, "I-It was good. Yours?
""Yes, it was absolutely fine."
Scorpius noticed Louis grinning spectacularly at them, almost smothering himself across the table to get a better look at the newer couple. The younger boy blinked in annoyance as both him and Chris stared at the blonde Gryffindor.
"Um Chris, this is Louis Weasley... Al's cousin. I don't know if you know each other…" Scorpius said hesitantly.
"No, not properly," Louis extravagantly said, "It's nice to meet you, Christopher!"
"It's nice to meet you too." Chris said politely although he was slightly freaked out. He held out a hand for Louis.
"Ah, no, you see, I'm French and we French always kiss each other's cheeks when he say hello so we're going to have to do it properly."
Louis bent across the table ready to plant a kiss on both of a confused and shocked Chris' face when he was pulled back by a rather annoyed boyfriend.
"Oh no you don't," Martino growled firmly and possessively, "Remember, we're in Britain now Lou. Scotland to be precise. They don't do that here."
"Oh silly me!" Louis giggled uncontrollably, completely flustered. He buried his face in the crook of Martino's neck, still laughing, "I'm so forgetful!"
"Chris, this is Martino Zabini. He's Louis' boyfriend," Chris and Martino shook hands, the Slytherin sending Chris a death glare which the Hufflepuff didn't know what he had done to receive, "And this is Rose Weasley. Another one of Al's cousins."
Rose and Chris also introduced themselves before the group fell into an uncomfortable silence. Both Martino and Albus were now glowering Chris and he simply shifted uncomfortably.
"You know, you're even more good looking close up." Giggled Louis, though he was still hiding his face on his boyfriend's neck.
"You're acting drunk." Rose stated sceptically.
"Drunk with love for this gorgeous man maybe." Louis squeezed Martino's distressed cheeks but received nothing back.
"So, Albus. How's Quidditch?" Chris asked, hoping to gain his boyfriend's best friend's trust and mostly just his approval.
Albus shrugged, not willing to talk to Chris properly, "Fine."
"You're in the final next term, aren't you, Al?" Danielle squeaked, "Ravenclaw vs Slytherin!"
Scorpius' face paled and heart shattered there and then. Al? She was calling him Al? Scorpius was the only one who ever called Albus 'Al', apart from Hagrid who would sometimes also use the nickname, due to his broken speech. But other than that, it was his nickname for Albus. Albus called him Scor, and he called him Al. Albus had always said and still did make it clear that Scorpius was the only one who was allowed to use that nickname!
Everyone had noticed; Louis, Martino, Rose, even Chris knew that those nicknames were Albus and Scorpius' little thing and had never even contemplated using them.
Scorpius worried his bottom lip between his teeth, looking the other way. He couldn't look at neither Albus nor Danielle right now.
"Er... Danielle?" Scorpius heard Albus say, his body stilling again, "Al is kind of a nickname which only Scorpius uses... It's just, I call him Scor, he calls me Al, it's kind of a silly little thing we have."
"Oh..." Danielle seemed rather unchanged by this. Scorpius wandered if maybe she knew this already... "Well maybe I can have my own nickname for you one day?"Albus shifted uncomfortably, "Sure..."
Scorpius graced Albus with a grateful look who only smiled softly in return. What they did not notice was Louis watching with knowing eyes.
~X~
A/N: Sooo, Louis seems that he has sussed it out. Even before Albus has xD
God, I got so carried away while writing Louis' character in this chapter! He's actually so much fun to write when he's all giggly and everything.
Sooo I thought I might write a side chapter, kind of an extension of this one. I started it last night, will try to finish it tonight so hopefully it will be up tonight. It will be on a separate story to this one and basically what that will do is have all the chapters that didn't make it into this one and probably more importantly, all the M rated scenes which obviously can't get into a T rated story. I'm not sure which chapters I will feel the need to put into there and so far, one between Louis and Martino is the only one I can put in.
So, it will be called 'What Am I Feeling?: Snapshots'. Anyone who has me on Author Alert will know when I put it up but if not, I promise I will remind you next chapter!
So, thanks to GreenGirl111, C8ecat and EKdark for reviewing the last chapter!
Next chapter:: Tensions are building between Albus and Danielle and how does Scorpius feel about this? And guess who he goes to and speaks about the situation... of course, Mr Louis Weasley.