~What Am I Feeling~

~Chapter 16- And So The Games Begin~

Scorpius sat next to Chris, looking out over the lake. It was the time of the year when you would be able to see some mermaids whirling through the deeps of the water because of how clear the lake was. The sky was a peachy colour, illuminating the surrounding into deep pink colours with small fluffy clouds floating. Chris' arm was draped around Scorpius' waist, firmly and tightly, yet softly and gently.

It could easily be considered the perfect evening. Scorpius had the perfect boyfriend; kind, loving, handsome and everything around them had collided to make the perfect surroundings. It would be the perfect evening: If Scorpius were not thinking about his earlier conversation with Louis.

His mind was more boggled now than it ever had. Louis was saying that it was a possibility Scorpius could be in love with Albus. Scorpius couldn't admit that to himself. He would never. Albus was his friend and he couldn't cross that line. It wasn't right. It was… Albus. That boy who he had befriended on his first day and on a childish whim, told his deepest secret to. That boy who was glued to his hip for over four years. That boy who had been his first friend. That boy who he loved and cared about more than anyone.

But in what way did he love and care for him…?

Scorpius felt Chris' long fingers brush his blond locks out of his eyes. He snapped out of his trance and glanced at Chris with a weak smile, "You're quiet today." Chris muttered delicately.

"I'm always quiet." Scorpius whispered, his cheeks unintentionally reddening.

Chris chuckled, his forehead rested against Scorpius' temple, "Yeah. Just one of the reasons I like you."

Scorpius sighed quietly to himself but still smiled, "I like you too."

"I really am happy, Scorpius," Chris said quietly. His hand raised to cup Scorpius' face, their lips dangerously close, "You really make me happy."

Guilt washed over Scorpius. He knew he didn't like Chris as much as Chris liked him. He liked Albus that way, "You make me happy too."

Scorpius wasn't expecting Chris' lips against his in that moment. They were stronger and more demanding than usual and it startled the smaller boy for a second but he regained composure and kissed back.

Chris' hand slid to the back of Scorpius' neck, holding the younger boy's head in place. Scorpius fidgeted with discomfort for a moment but his hand reached out to rest on Chris' chest, however he missed and ended up leaving his hand on Chris' upper thigh. He almost snapped his hand back but when Chris covered his hand with his palm, Scorpius left it.

Chris' lips were warmer and moisture than normal, Scorpius noted. They moved with more of a fire and were no longer cautious. Scorpius was unsure of what to do for a second, but just let Chris guide him.

When a tongue pressed against Scorpius' lips, he yelped slightly and opened his mouth. Chris' tongue darted between Scorpius' parted lips. Scorpius froze, not knowing what to do himself. Chris had never gone this far with him… their kisses had always been chaste and careful. They had never gone into more dangerous territories, been more adventurous. And Scorpius wasn't used to it.

The Hufflepuff attentively started to roam Scorpius' mouth, his tongue hesitantly meeting the blonde's. Scorpius yelped in surprise, pulling back, but Chris' hand only drew him back.

Scorpius' head was spinning. And he wasn't sure it was in an entirely good way. He was confused as to what he should be doing, how he should react and whether or not he should even trust Chris with this. He knew Chris wanted to kiss and touch him. It didn't bother him all too much… Scorpius just needed to get used to it. Because he could and would be happy with Chris. Eventually.

Chris allowed his hand to travel down Scorpius' back while their tongues entwined and danced. He moved into Scorpius further, pushing the other boy towards the ground. Scorpius gasped, their lips separating. Chris was able slowly push Scorpius down, so he was lying down on the grass, his hair splayed around his head.

Scorpius was shocked as Chris moved over him so he was straddling his legs. His face was a picture of obvious confusion and anxiety, his upper body shooting back up.

Chris crept closer again, his hot breath brushing against Scorpius' lips, "Sssh. Sssh. It's okay, just trust me."

Scorpius allowed Chris to lie him back down, shivering slightly as there was a space left between their chest. Their robes had been long forgotten and they were only wearing their shirts and ties on the top and their school trousers on the bottom. Chris had also taken his shoes off when they had sit down.

Chris moved down again, capturing Scorpius' lips in another heated kiss. Scorpius moaned quietly, tangling his fingers in Chris' golden locks, tugging on them for support. Chris' tongue dove deeper into Scorpius' mouth in desperation.

Scorpius felt a small stirring in the pit of his stomach and it frightened him. He knew from logic what this was feeling was. It was a natural reaction to someone you're attracted to. And maybe that meant… he liked Chris to in that way. It was good in his mission to grow feelings for Chris.

When Scorpius felt Chris' hand on the small of his back creep lower, he couldn't help but yelp in protest. Chris' hand rubbed over Scorpius' buttocks but it was too much for Scorpius.

He ripped his lips away from Chris' scrunching his eyes together in distress. The position they were in did not change and Scorpius rapidly gasped out, "Stop… no, Chris…"

Before Chris could even register Scorpius' protest, a sudden jerk to push Chris off the smaller boy came with no warning. Chris landed on his side with a sharp groan.

Scorpius hitched himself up into his elbows, a confused look broadening across his face. His eyes widened when he saw Albus standing there, ready to pounce at Chris. Danielle stood a few feet away from Albus, obviously unaware as to what she should do.

When Al launched himself at an undefended Chris, Scorpius leapt up just in time, forcing Albus to stop with advances. As if Scorpius' mind wasn't already muddled up enough, one minute he was kissing Chris, snogging Chris, and then suddenly Albus had just come up out of no where and pushed Chris to the floor.

Scorpius shoved firmly, yet gently on Albus' chest with both hands to keep him away and Albus immediately stopped. There was no way he could ever hurt Scorpius, even in the heat of anger, he could never hurt Scorpius. He stopped himself, standing there lost. He panted heavily, his face still scowling at Chris.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Chris yelled, pushing himself up off the floor and shooting Albus a death glare.

"You can't just do that to him!" Albus screamed back, getting ready to jump at Chris again and would have if it weren't for Scorpius attacking him, "He didn't want it and you weren't listening!"

"Al!" Scorpius cried out in distress, "Stop it!"

"No!" Albus said firmly, grabbing Scorpius' shoulders, "You can't let him treat you like that."

"Albus…" Danielle said weakly from behind him. She placed a hand on Albus' shoulder though he shook it off immediately, "Let's go back to the castle, hm?"

Albus ignored his girlfriend completely and turned back to Chris who was now on his feet, "He's only just realised he's gay and you're already doing this to him! He's not ready for that!"

Chris scoffed, stepping closer and more intimidating than before, "I wasn't going to do anything more than kissing with him! I know he's not ready!" For some reason, Scorpius didn't quite believe that. Would he have taken it that far if he just wanted kissing? He had touched Scorpius hotly and intimately. It didn't feel like just kissing to Scorpius… it felt like he wanted more and Albus was right; Scorpius wasn't ready for that yet.

"Don't fuck with me," Scorpius let a sharp intake of breath enter his lips at Albus' language. It was not often Albus' swore and even for Scorpius who was around him all the time, it shocked him, "I can see! That was lustful and… you wanted more. Don't pretend you don't want more!"

"What has this even got to do with you?" It was unexpected when Chris pulled Scorpius back protectively into his arms. Scorpius yelped in surprise and the fire in Albus' eyes only grew into something Scorpius had never witnessed from his friend before, "This is between Scorpius and I! What we do has nothing to do with you, let alone any of your business! I'm his boyfriend!"

"And I'm his best friend!" Albus was getting to close again so Scorpius had to raise his hands to keep him away, "I care for him! I've cared for him for nearly five years now! I know him better than anyone and compared to me, you don't know a thing about him! And I know, he didn't want that! He told you to stop, and you didn't! And that annoys me! That makes me angry! Because I would never force him to do something he didn't want to, and anyone who respects him wouldn't do that to him!"

"If you hadn't pounced on me, you would have seen that I was about to stop! I wouldn't force Scorpius to do something he didn't want to! I'm not that sort of person. I like Scorpius and I do care for him!"

"Can you please both s-"

"You're just after sex aren't you?" Albus scorned, interrupting Scorpius' brief intervention, "You're just like all the rest of them, after one thing!"

Scorpius didn't need to take his necklace off to tell that Albus was getting too aggressive now. It scared him to see Albus this way as Albus never lost his temper. As instinct Scorpius grabbed Albus' face in his hands, holding him still and finally made their eyes meet properly. The split second they stared at each other, that unbelievable yet perfect connection which seemed to get them through anything, "Stop. Please stop, Al. I'm asking you… to stop shouting."

Albus nodded quietly, his friend's gesture comforting him completely, "Yeah… sorry."

There was a moment of silence between the four students, awkward but mainly peaceful after all the yelling. But Chris was the first to break the silence and much to their relief, he spoke in a normal volume.

"Why don't we just ask Scorpius how he feels about this?" Chris laced his fingers with Scorpius, almost as a reminder of who his boyfriend was.

Scorpius was taken back for a second after his opinion not mattering at all for the last few minutes. He was still alarmed by Albus' behaviour and also Chris' reaction to Albus. Albus sensed this and prompted him, "Did you… want that?"

Scorpius hesitated for a moment, getting lost in Albus' eyes as the older boy searched for an explanation. But then he remembered his fingers so closely intertwined with the Hufflepuff next to him and realised who he really should stay loyal to in order to move on, away from these feelings for the Potter, "I-I wanted the kiss… maybe not further than that… but… I liked the kiss…"

Albus spent a moment, taking in the positive attitude towards Scorpius and Chris' happenings before saying, "Would you ever… would you ever have sex with him?"

Scorpius' voice wavered in panic. What was he supposed to say? Chris would be listening in intently of course and Danielle… he didn't want to speak about this in front of Danielle! In fact, the only person he really felt comfortable discussing this with was Albus! But he had to tell him. He had to tell them because of the pressure of the situation, "I-I guess… eventually…"

The hurt laced across Albus' face was unbearably obvious. He bit his lip and looked off to the lake, trying to hide his glistening eyes. Scorpius watched Albus' reaction and tears stinging as well.

Albus suddenly clutched Danielle's hand from behind him and moved away, "Come on…" His voice was broken as he guided a bewildered Danielle away, "Let's go."

The couple walked away, Albus not looking back for anything. Scorpius squeaked his friend's name quickly, but he did not notice. Chris watched Scorpius as his best friend walked away. He noticed teary stormy eyes and immediately felt guilty.

Scorpius was enveloped in Chris' arms tightly and suddenly. He held in the sob that threatened to burst out. He knew for some reason he had hurt Al. He wasn't exactly sure how or what he had done to upset his friend, he only knew that he had. And it hurt him too.

Was he… jealous? Jealous again? But this time not about him and Chris spending time together or even being in a relationship… but because they were kissing. Because they were being physically intimate…

"I'm sorry for getting angry," Chris murmured into Scorpius' hair, "Are you okay…?"

Scorpius sighed, "I'm fine."

~X~

Scorpius and Chris didn't stay together too long after that. Chris walked Scorpius to the library as he insisted he needed to do more revision on his own.

He had sat in that chair for hours, revising even the most unnecessary of things so he was distracted. He thought if he concentrated on his work, that event would close in at the back of his mind, but it didn't work. It wasn't happening.

He couldn't stop thinking of Albus. Then again, that was always the case really.

Finally, Scorpius slapped the book shut, groaning and running his fingers through his hair at the same time. It was now completely dark outside and there was no sign of anyone else in the library with him. He was alone. Except for Mrs Pince who was most likely lurking around.

He packed all his books away in his bag and just as he was thinking of her, Mrs Pince rushed around the corner, frowning at the Ravenclaw boy.

"Scorpius Malfoy!" She screeched yet somehow in a low tone, "What are you still doing here? Off to bed now! If I find you here this late again house points will be lost!"

Scorpius gathered the last of things and scurried away, muttering, "Sorry Mrs Pince…"

He returned to the Ravenclaw common room with a trudge in his step. His books were smothered against his chest when he opened the door to his room.

The only thing he saw was Albus, laying on his bed with his hands behind his head and grinning at him as he entered the room. It was an understatement to say it was a change in Albus' behaviour from before when he had looked absolutely devastated. Scorpius couldn't understand why. He used to be able to understand others feelings so easily, but since he got the necklace, he couldn't figure it all out.

He couldn't figure Albus out.

Scorpius stood there awkwardly for a moment, clutching his books more to hide behind them slightly. Albus continued with the amused expression, but Scorpius was the first to speak.

"Are you feeling okay now?" Scorpius asked hesitantly, not moving from his spot.

"Never been better." Albus said haughtily.

"Why so smug?" Scorpius questioned with a sceptical look.

Albus smirked with a shrug, tilting his head side to side, "I don't kiss and tell. Or in this case… do more and tell."

The Malfoy almost felt sick to his stomach when he heard those words and knew what Albus was insinuating. Had he and Danielle really…? He knew they had been talking about it earlier tonight… but he didn't think it would actually happen nor so soon. And the mere thought of Albus with someone else… with Danielle… sent a shooting pain through his heart, worse than ever before, "Y-you… you did… did it?"

"Well…" Albus sat up abruptly, still grinning. Scorpius knew he was taunting him. Albus wanted him to be jealous and it was working a charm, "You are my friend and we do tell each other everything-"

"I don't want to know." Scorpius said through gritted teeth and eyes clasped shut.

Albus sensed the resentment in Scorpius' voice and felt fairly satisfied with himself. Seeing Scorpius with Chris today had hurt him and he wanted Scorpius to feel just as jealous as he had been. He remembered Danielle's offer not so long before and decided to take her up on it. It had been good. An awkward affair really and a bit forced in a way, but it felt good for Albus. He wasn't sure if it particularly made him and Danielle emotionally closer, but he couldn't really tell yet. He would have to see what happened. For now, it had served it's purpose.

"I just thought if you and Chris could do it, then there would be no problem with me and Danielle doing it either." Albus feigned innocence, though Scorpius knew exactly what he was trying to do.

"I wasn't trying to make you jealous, Al," Scorpius' weak voice said, "I'm disappointed with you… not for sleeping with her for such a petty reason, but thinking that I would really do that do you."

Scorpius rushed into the toilet, dropping his books on his bed carelessly on the way out. The tears flooded out with no restraint. He locked the door behind himself before Albus could barge in.

He curled up onto the floor as Albus yelled and banged on the door, demanding Scorpius opened it, concerned for his friend in the knowledge that he had been the one to hurt him. Scorpius tucked his legs to his chest, sobbing into the fabric covering his knees.

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the thought of Albus with someone else. He knew now for sure, he wanted to be with Albus himself in that way. If he had any doubt of his feelings for Albus, they had now disappeared.

He kept picturing them together. Hot, sweaty and in the throes of passion. He kept thinking how much he hated Danielle for being in the place he wanted to be in. those images made his heart break, his emotions absolutely messed up.

He wouldn't be able to fall for Chris. Not in the way he had fallen for Albus. But Scorpius had tried to be subtle… he had only done a few little things to provoke a reaction from Albus. But now… now the game was on more than it ever had been before. Albus had purposely flaunted the loss of his virginity to his girlfriend to make Scorpius jealous.

Fine.

Scorpius would do the same. He wouldn't sleep with Chris, no. He had too much dignity to just have sex with his recent boyfriend to make someone else envious. However, he would do as much as possible to rouse Albus. Even if that included ignoring his friend for a while.

They would see who wins this little game of theirs.

And the consequences was yet to be known nor questioned.

~X~

A/N: Woah, so a lot happened in that chapter. Started with a bit of heat between Scorpius and Chris, breaking into an argument with Chris, Albus and Scorpius. Basically, with this chapter I just wanted to convey the absolute loss of control of their emotions. Neither of them really do know or understand what's going on between that and I think that's even more clear in this chapter than ever before.

Um, I'm making this quick cause I'm doing revision and just thought I'd post this in a little break. I hope you all like this chapter. I'm not sure when exactly the next one will be up. I've got exams coursework etc to do so we'll see. Made a start on the next one last night but doubt it will be finished this weekend.

Thank you to Pasdoll, C8ecat, loveofthewrittenword and EKdark for reviewing the last chapter!

Next chapter:: The Easter holidays have arrived and the intense atmosphere between Albus and Scorpius has settled. But Scorpius' main problem is really whether he's going to be able to hide his relationship with Chris from his parents!

^^Oh, and managed to slip a small bit of Louis into the next chapter ;) He just keeps popping up!