As always a massive Thank You to all who took the time to leave a review, I'm just glad this story is being enjoyed. I had pushed so hard to get this out earlier, but it just didn't work, and so I apologise for the wait. Its my goal to get this back to weekly, so fingers crossed RL quietens down enough to make that possible..

This is a filler Chapter, and I hate writing fillers, but the story needs to move on so I had no choice, it means I also apologise if this isn't the most exciting… I am still not 100% happy, but I can't hold this back any longer.

I'm editing this as I watch the Brexit vote results, so apology's for any glaring mistakes.

Anyway all I ask is you Read, Enjoy, and PLEASE REVIEW!

I Run To You

Normally, after any shift as emotionally draining as this one had been Derek would be fit for little more than to either find the nearest on-call room, or an open bar. Tonight, however was different. He needed something more than the nearest place to lay his head, or the oblivion which could be found at the bottom of a bottle of Scotch, he needed Meredith. This particular case had hit just a little too close to home, popping the bubble of happiness he had been living in for the past two days, and bringing the cruel unpredictability of the world back into sharp focus.

It had had the perfect combination of timing, similarities in ages between his patient, and Meredith, and a fear in Mr Scott's eyes Derek could all to easily understand whenever they had rested on his wife. It was a fear he had experienced himself when he had had to face the true horror of the day of the bomb. The only difference was, where as he had lived it after the actual event, Mr Scott was experiencing it all right in front of him, and Derek could only observe as his horror grew second by second. Right before they had wheeled his wife off for an emergency craniotomy when her condition had rapidly deteriorated, he had stopped Derek, and begged him to make sure she lived.

Those pleas had stuck with him all through the scrubbing in process, and when Nicola Scott's heart had stopped mid procedure Derek had barely been able to get the time of death out past his numb lips. But, that nauseating feeling of failure which had flooded his whole body had been nothing compared to witnessing the devastation when he had broken the news to her husband. Outwardly Derek had tried to stay professional, calling into practise everything he had learnt over the years, yet internally it hadn't been possible. The whole time he had sat there trying to offer some small comfort to the distraught man, Derek had found himself haunted by an insistent voice in the back of his mind repeating over, and over how easily it once could have been him who faced a tomorrow without the love of his life.

All it would have taken was just one unlucky twist of fate the day Meredith had placed her hand on the bomb, and she would have died that day unable to remember their last kiss. It didn't seem to matter how many times he told himself she had survived, or that they had already gone over every step of that day there was no distancing, or distracting himself. He couldn't move past the idea of how easily that day could have ended differently, and changed his whole future. Instead of being here to hear Meredith tell him she loved him, there would be nothing for him, but a life time of regrets about chances he had never took. How just like he felt he had failed his patient today, he would have done the same to Meredith, because unlike Mr Scott who had been there for his wife, when Meredith had needed him the most, he would have been on the other side of the country.

It was all of those emotions which drove the need to see her to an undeniable level, and caused him to forgo his usual practises to set his exhausted body one final goal. However, it was only now when he was stood in-front of Meredith's front door that Derek realised he hadn't actually thought any further ahead than getting here. Her house much like every other one in the street was in complete darkness, and a quick check of his watch told him it was a little before four, far past the time that anyone would be up to hear his knock. On impulse Derek reached out to test the handle, and with a combined mixture of surprise, relief, and dismay the door swung open for him. With no idea where the nearest light switch was located, Derek's whole focus was on reaching the staircase without bumping in to anything. It was why he nearly missed the small shaft of light showing from under the kitchen door, but with a quick change of direction Derek walked straight into a scene of what he hoped was organised chaos, with Izzie Stevens right at the centre.

"Do you guys always leave your front door unlocked at night?"

"Shit!"

Derek watched as a battered covered spoon clattered to the floor, and only Izzie's surprisingly quick reflexes saved the glass mixing bowl from the same fate. His tired chuckle quickly turned her state of shock, into one of annoyance as she glared across the room at him.

"God you scared the life out of me. What are you even doing here?"

"I had a late surgery, I couldn't manage the drive back to my place."

"Yeah, that's why the hospital has on-call rooms. Why didn't you just use one of them? You're an attending, and unlike us lowly residents you get your pick of them."

With a shrug of his shoulders Derek dropped his bag on the floor, and crossed the room to pull a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Too weary to think of an excuse that would satisfy her, and unwilling to share what had drove him here with someone he barely knew, Derek ignored the question altogether.

"You didn't say why the front door was unlocked?"

"I didn't know it was. I thought Alex had done it, he was the last one in. Is Meredith even expecting you?"

"No."

"So you have just turned up in the middle of the night looking for somewhere to sleep?"

Right up until this very instant the thought of what Meredith's room-mates might think of him turning up here hadn't crossed his mind, and for a brief second Derek floundered under the increased scrutiny. Back home no one had ever questioned the amount of time he, and Meredith had spent together, either before, or during the affair. This, having what even before the affair would have felt like natural behaviour being questioned was still new to him, and despite how annoying he found it, it was just another reminder of how long he had been out of her life. Without wanting to say something that would leave Meredith answering awkward questions in the morning, or a lie that could be thrown in his face later, Derek settled for the simple truth.

"Yes."

"Oh, right..."

If he thought his blunt honesty would have any effect on Meredith's friend, he was proved wrong when Izzie continued to stare at him.

"So then this is normal behaviour for you?"

"Do you have a problem with me being here?"

Derek countered, and looking less than convinced Izzie shook her head in denial.

"No… Anyway even if I did, this is Mer's house so it wouldn't matter."

"Right. Well then, like you said Stevens it's the middle of the night, so I'm going to go let Mer know I'm here then crash on the couch."

"Take a muffin if you want, they're delicious."

"No I'm good, thanks."

With a nod of farewell Derek collected his bag, and slowly made his way up the stairs to Meredith's bedroom. Once the door was closed behind him, as quietly as possible he removed his sweater, untucked his shirt, and kicked off his shoes, before climbing onto the bed. This was why he had sought her out, all he had wanted was a few quiet minutes away from everything that had happened tonight to reassure himself she was okay. To remember the past was just that, and they were okay, because Meredith was here, and she loved him, just as he did her.

Contrary to what he had told Izzie, Derek had no intention of waking Meredith, instead he propped himself up on his elbow, and used the light coming through the gap in the blinds to watch her. His first real smile in hours graced his lips at the emergence of a loud rumbling snore, and he was unable to resist from reaching out a hand to brush a strand of hair back from her face. Still despite what he had intended the moment his fingers touched her skin, Meredith's eyes fluttered open, her head jerking away from his hand as she blinked confusedly up at him.

"Shh, it's just me."

Derek reassured leaning over to touch her forehead with his lips.

"What time is it?"

"Just after four."

"Have you just finished?"

"Yeah. It's okay me coming over like this isn't it?"

"Yeah of course."

Meredith murmured trying to fight away the call of sleep, but she could feel herself being dragged back down as he continued to stroke her forehead.

"I would have said to before I left, but you were busy."

"So how common is it for Izzie to be up baking?"

"Whenever she can't sleep."

"Well I have to admit it's reassuring to know starvation was never an option if she's mass producing muffins out like that on a regular basis. But, please tell me the front door being unlocked was a one off?"

"I have no idea what you're on about, are you okay?"

Meredith's voice had started to slur, and Derek watched as she battled to keep up with the conversation.

"Yeah, just tired. Go back to sleep, I never meant to wake you… I'll go down onto the couch in a while,"

"No, just stay here."

"Sure?"

"Derek go to sleep,"

Meredith turned back on to her side, and felt him mould his body around her, his hand coming round to capture her own.

"Mer?"

Derek wasn't sure if she had fallen back to sleep, but a few seconds later she grunted in response

"Hmm..."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not dying."

He whispered into the darkness, and suddenly Meredith was wide awake. All thoughts of sleep vanishing, as she rolled away from him enough to reach the bedside lamp.

"What? Where is all this coming from? Because I distinctly remember us having this converstaion last week..?"

"We did,"

"So what's changed, what happened tonight? Am I missing something here?"

"It doesn't matter, go back to sleep."

"No you can't say something like that, then tell me to go back to sleep. I'm trying, and you have to try too. If something is wrong just say it. You have to talk, because otherwise what is different to before?"

"Well the lack of sex is different..."

He tried for humour, but it failed to raise a smile, and with a shift in positions he rolled closer so there faces were nearly touching. He raised a hand to her cheek in a silent apology, before letting out a deep breath

"My patient tonight, who I was monitoring before you left, she died. Nicola Scott, about your age, and all she did was cross the street to meet her husband. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and tonight I had a front row seat as her husbands whole world fall out from beneath him. He asked me to save her, and I couldn't. I failed them, and I was trying to comfort him, but all I could think about was you, and that bomb…"

"What are you saying that she was just crossing the street, but I put my hand on a bomb?"

Meredith demanded pulling back from his touch.

"If you are then you go down onto the couch right now. That man would have died if I hadn't, and I know you well enough to know you would be the last person to leave a patient on the table to die."

"No. I understand why you did that, but don't you see he was there for her. From the moment he realised what was going on, up until she was wheeled away to the OR. He was there for her, but I wasn't, and what would I have done if you had died..."

"But I didn't die, and you cannot feel guilty for something that happened last year. It happened, it wasn't fun, but I got over it."

"You nearly died that day, and because I was such a selfish bastard I wasn't there."

"Derek … God if it will stop this guilt trip you seem hell bent on, then just know you were there. Okay?"

"What?"

"I didn't tell you this because frankly it's almost pathetic… I have told no one else this, not even Cristina. But, I was scared, desperate for a pee, and I was convinced we were all going to die..."

"Meredith."

"Right. Dylan the bomb guy who died, he was kind of an ass, and we didn't like each other all that much so he told me to pretend he was someone I liked. So I did, I pretended he was you, I was able to move my hand, to remove the bomb because I convinced myself you were there telling me it was okay, and I could do it."

"Oh god Mer…"

Derek rolled onto his back, his hands grasping at his hair as he stared up at the ceiling. He wasn't alone for long before she turned over too, her hand finding his, and their fingers locking together to rest on his chest. They laid in silence as Derek tried to process what she had told him, adding it to what he already knew of that day, and trying to make sense of it all.

"Is there anything else about that day you haven't told me? If so, then now is the time?"

"I'm guessing you don't mean things like that was the day when Izzie, and Alex started having sex?"

"Now whose trying to be funny,"

"Sorry,"

"No more bombs Mer."

"No more bombs."

Meredith agreed, inching closer to him as she kept her eyes on his face, watching his expressions change as he continued to work through what she had told him.

"It wasn't your fault the patient died tonight. You didn't fail them."

"It feels like it."

"I know…"

"This helps,"

"Yeah…?"

"Yes, I do love you Meredith. You don't know how much."

"I do know."

"I'm glad you didn't die Mer."

It was the biggest understatement he thought he had ever uttered in the whole of his life, but he was so drained he wasn't sure he could say much else that would truly convey what he felt. Never the less Meredith seemed to understand as he felt her lips twitch against the skin of his neck where her face was pressed.

"Me too. There are ear plugs in the bathroom cabinet."

"Ah look she loves me,"

"Derek..."

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep."

For what felt like the millionth time since she had offered George's empty room to Alex, Meredith was awoken by a shouting match between her two room-mates, going on right outside her bedroom door. She groaned loudly in protest, but it was only when she tried to bury her face in the pillow that she realised her late night visitor hadn't been a dream, and the dead weight stopping her movement was Derek's arm, and leg slung across her. When the noise outside still continued Meredith gave up trying to ignore it, and rolled out of the bed to see what had started the latest round. She had just reached the door when it swung open, and narrowly missed smacking her in the face.

"Mer we need a lock that works on the bathroom door, if Alex walks in on me one more time then I will not be held responsible for my actions."

"I've seen it all before Iz, and I'm still not interested." Alex called from behind the closed bathroom door.

"Apparently the bathroom isn't the only room that needs a lock." Meredith started only to realise Izzie wasn't listening, her attention was on the bed, or rather the man sprawled out on top of it.

"So that's why he never came back downstairs, he just climbed into your bed instead… Anything you want to tell me?"

Meredith gestured to her top, and yoga pants then over to where Derek was still in his jeans, and shirt.

"Both fully dressed Iz,"

"So did he tell you why he came over? He was all weird last night."

Meredith pushed Izzie into the hallway

"To sleep. He had a rough night,"

"So Derek has a rough night, and instead of crashing in an on-call room he just climbs in to bed with you? I don't care what he said last night, that's not normal."

Meredith tried her best to look nonchalant as she leaned back against her door. She didn't want to lie to her friends, she didn't enjoy doing it, but this was all so new still, and so soon after Josh that she hated the idea of it being judged for less than it was. She wanted to feel comfortable with them being together, just the two of them, to truly believe it could work, before it was shared with everyone they knew.

"George, and Cristina sleep over all the time."

"Yeah, but they don't just turn up in the middle of the night. Nor do they scare me half to death by just walking in to the kitchen, and asking why the front door was unlocked."

"Cristina does… Well not the scaring you part, but she does just turn up."

"So he's your new Cristina."

"No...I don't know why this is such a big deal?"

"It's just strange that's all… I mean you barely mentioned him before he got here, and now it's like you two are glued to each others side. You hadn't even been home in two nights except to grab clothes, and now its sleepovers here too?"

"Iz he lived in New York there was no need to talk about him, and since when am I expected to list every person I know? This is my house, and he knows that means he can treat it as his own, even if that's turning up at odd hours."

"You were never like that with Josh that's all..."

"Izzie come on, I've known Derek since I was six, and Josh…"

Meredith sighed, Izzie was waiting expectantly, and there was nothing to really say. How could she explain the whole reason she had kept Josh at arms length, had never fully invested herself in the relationship was because of the man on the other side of the door.

"It was never going to work...And, if you can't understand that, then you know you can just add it up as one more of my quirks... Now have you finished? Can I go back to bed, and use my day off for what it was intended for?"

"What about the lock for the bathroom door?"

"You, and Alex have the problem, so one of you can buy it,"

"Mer it's your day off, it would take two minutes to pop to the store, and…." Izzie was cut off by the bedroom door slamming shut, and with a sigh Meredith crossed back to her bed.

"Your room-mates are loud."

"You're meant to be wearing earplugs..."

"I was too tired to get up."

Derek grumbled as he pulled her in to his body, closing his eyes as he nuzzled his face into the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

"I could pick up a lock today if you wanted?"

"No they can, I am not their mother,"

"I meant for your bedroom," Derek mumbled, and Meredith sighed

"It's obvious you don't know Izzie if you think that would stop her..."

When Derek turned his cell phone alarm off ninety minutes later, and freshly showered proceeded to pad barefoot downstairs he experienced what he was sure was some kind of karma for scaring Izzie last night. He had just reached the bottom step when he turned to find a middle aged women stood there looking at him, and though he managed not to shriek he felt his heart stop, then start again.

"Oh hello, you're a new one. I'm Susan Grey, Meredith's Step-mother."

After overcoming the initial shock of her unexpected presence, Derek had correctly guessed her identity before she had finished introducing herself. The past seventeen years had been kind to Susan, and she had barely changed since he had first been introduced to her. However, it was obvious she had no such recognition so he stepped forward with a smile.

"Derek Shepherd,"

"Shepherd? Then you must be one of Carolyn, and Michael's children?"

"I am. We've actually met before, but it was a long time ago."

"After Ellis died, I remember, or I remember meeting a lot of young people. Now I come to think of it you look a lot like Michael. How are your parents, are they well?"

"They are, thank you. Retirement suits them both. Here let me help." Derek said, and moving forward took the two bags from her arms, then lead the way into the kitchen.

"Oh thank you."

"Would you like me to go wake Meredith?"

"She's here? Izzie didn't say. She was leaving as I pulled up, and she opened the door for me. I just came to drop some leftovers off, but when I realised how little there was in, I popped to the store, and got some more things…."

Susan raised her hands up in a helpless gesture, and Derek smiled to put the woman at ease.

"My Mom does the same, she cleans too. My younger sister Liz once came home from work to find all her kitchen cupboards reorganised."

"I think Meredith would find it a lot more acceptable if it was your Mom doing this."

Derek purposefully took his time in answering as he placed the bags down on the counter top, he was well aware of the minefield he was being invited into, and didn't want to make the wrong step. After a few beats of silence Susan seemed to sense his hesitancy, and sighed.

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

"Forget it."

"I know Meredith doesn't get this, and she thinks I am interfering, but I'm just trying to reach her. I'm a Mom, its what I know how to do, and I don't know any other way to do it, than to help out like this. Is it too much?"

"Groceries, and leftovers are fine."

Derek said, still unwilling to be dragged in to a conversation about Meredith he knew she wouldn't want even taking place. Ever since Thatcher, and Susan had come into her life after Ellis had died, and the access arrangement had been put into place Meredith had kept those two different worlds very separate. It was a line she had drawn between her life in New York, and the short time she would spend in Seattle. Lexie in later years, had been the only one who had successfully moved between the two worlds Meredith had created, and Derek had always assumed Meredith had done so to protect herself from any more hurt.

"I'm never too sure what's too much, or not enough. I get a little jealous sometimes, even of Lexie because you all know her so well, and even after all these years I'm still an outsider."

When Derek made no immediate reply as he purposefully busied himself getting together the makings for his breakfast Susan spoke again.

"I'm sorry I'm doing it again. Don't worry I wouldn't say any of this in front of her friends, but from what Lexie tells me you are all really close still."

"It's okay."

"Lets try again shall we? Are you here visiting from New York?"

"No I've recently moved out here." Derek said taking a seat at the table, watching as Susan began to empty the groceries she had brought on to the counter ready to be put away.

"Oh… So you're living here too?"

"No I have my own place, but I finished late last night, and this is a lot closer to the hospital."

"Yes I remember Lexie telling me you were all doctors. Your parents must be very proud."

"They are, though I think they would be happier if we worked a little less,"

"I can understand that, I don't know how Meredith, and Lexie manage. Your family must miss you being so far away, I was so glad when Lexie followed Meredith, and came home."

"They do, Mer too. Thankfully they have my sisters, and all their grandchildren to keep them busy."

"You know whenever Meredith visited she would talk about you all, to the girls. I would hear her listing off all these names, and then she would have to explain who was who again. I think Lexie wished we had had more children because of the stories Meredith told."

"We had a lot of fun together, when we weren't coming up with ways to torture one another,"

"Isn't that half of the fun of a big family?"

They had only been chatting a few minutes when Derek heard footsteps on the stairs, and Meredith's voice soon followed.

"Derek?"

"In the kitchen. You have a visitor, Izzie let them in."

"Oh god… Why can't you just have answered your phone."

Meredith pushed open the kitchen door expecting to see at least one of the Shepherd sisters sat at her table, but instead she found her Step-Mother, and wasn't sure whether to be relieved, or to dread this visit just as much.

"Oh Susan… I thought you were someone else."

"She thought you were one of my sisters."

"Well I wouldn't think that if you would just talk to them."

"Too easy."

Derek threw back feeling her hand brush over his shoulder in a silent good morning, as she headed for the coffee jug. He watched the moment she noticed the shopping bags on the counter top, and the effort she made in keeping her expression neutral.

"Susan I told you, you didn't have to keep doing that,"

"And I promise I didn't plan on it. I just came over because I had made too much food yesterday, and then I realised you had nothing in, and thought it would help you out."

There was a look of longing on Susan's face as her eyes swept over Meredith that Derek couldn't help, but feel sorry for her.

"Mer not everyone lives by the theory you only go shopping for groceries once the cupboards are bare like you do. Now my girl, show some of those good manners I brought you up with, and say thank you."

Derek imitated perfectly Michael's speech he always gave when Carolyn had done the exact same thing to her during her years at Dartmouth, and even more recently when they had visited here, that Meredith couldn't help, but laugh.

"Yes Dad." Meredith teased, before turning to a now confused Susan "I am grateful Susan, so thank you."

"It's no trouble Meredith. We worry about you, and you all work so much it's the least I can do…"

There was no missing the emphasis Susan placed on the we, and who exactly she meant by that. What Meredith found funny was no matter how many times Susan spoke as if it was both her, and Thatcher doing these things, it was only ever Susan. Unwilling to hash out the same old discussion about Thatcher's place in her life, Meredith gave a small nod in acknowledgement before joining Derek at the table. Without asking he got up, and fetched her a bowl, and with Susan's back to them he brushed a kiss to her head as he placed it down in front of her.

"Thanks."

"Oh Meredith I have just had the most wonderful idea. Why don't you two come for dinner? Then we can give Derek a proper welcome to Seattle home cooked meal, and we can all catch up. What do you think Derek?"

Meredith's heart had sunk the moment Susan had started talking, knowing exactly what was coming. What was different this time was that instead of her trying to come up with an excuse on the spot, it was Derek floundering as he looked to her for guidance. Before Meredith could give him any sign Susan was there with that same hopeful expression that always made her feel just that little bit guilty.

"Please Meredith? It would mean so much to us, Molly will be there, and I'll make sure Lexie is free. How about tomorrow night?"

"I can't I'm working, sorry."

"Okay the next night, Tuesday?"

"I'm working."

Derek jumped in, and then Susan stalled them both with a motherly voice that brooked no arguments. One Carolyn would have been proud of, and a tone of voice they had both learnt to obey from an early age.

"Fine. Wednesday it is then. Is sevenish okay?"

Both nodded, and Susan's expression transformed into a smile of satisfaction.

"Great. Meredith your father will be so happy, to have his girls all together."

There was no disguising Meredith's wince at the term father, and Derek hated himself when a glance at his watch told him he would be leaving Meredith to do this on her own,

"I'm sorry I have to go, or I'll be late,"

"I'll see you out,"

Meredith putting off being alone with Susan waited in the hallway whilst he said his farewell to her, and stayed in the same spot until he was ready to leave. He took her hand when he opened the front door, and pulled her outside behind him.

"I don't know whether to feel guilty for leaving you, or be slightly scared of what you might do now I'm not there?"

"Oh Susan is safe. I'm just plotting how to kill Izzie, and how to figure out a credible excuse in the next thirty-six hours,"

"Well being arrested for murder will solve your second problem… And as Cristina replaced me as your designated body removal expert, it will just be me attending. I will be sure to make your apologies."

This earned him a smile, and Derek nodded.

"That's better. You'll see it will be fine. I'm there, and I'll be your wingman."

"You will?"

"Absolutely."

"And if I need to leave you will back up my fake page?"

"No need too, you can tell Cristina to page me."

"Promise?"

"I am on your side Mer."

Stepping closer to him, Meredith twined her arms around his neck, bringing his lips down to hers. It was a slow kiss, packed full of the emotions she still found difficult to convey to him in words. When she released him still very aware of how on show they were, there was a flush to his cheeks, and his blue eyes had darkened considerably.

"And, you're not still guilt ridden like last night?"

"I'm trying not to be."

Derek murmured his eyes still locked on her face as she smiled, and it was the truth. When she looked at him like this, her eyes shining up at him with a love he was aware he hadn't always deserved from her, Derek could feel they were okay, that he was okay, and most importantly that she was too.

"Good,"

"Do you want to do something tonight?"

"I can't. I'm meeting the others at Joe's after their shift. You could come, practise your wingman skills?"

"I can do that. Izzie may not like me, but Cristina tolerates me, and Karev, and O'Malley seem okay."

"Lexie likes you."

"Grey women are very susceptible to my charm."

"My mother wasn't..."

"Well she liked me better than Mark,"

"She liked everyone better than Mark." Meredith laughed, before sighing "Maybe I could just come to the hospital with you?"

"Barefoot, and still in your pyjamas, yeah that will not make people stare, or help the gossip die down. Just go in there, and play nicely. I know it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't think she's a bad person Mer, and she does care. You deserve people who care."

"I have people who care,"

"You do, but that doesn't mean you can't have more. I'll see you later."

With a last kiss Derek took a step back, and Meredith watched him till the car turned off the street, then took a deep breath before walking back in to the kitchen where Susan was finishing putting away the groceries.

"Derek seems like a good man."

"He is."

"It must be nice for you to have him here..."

"It is."

Meredith felt another stab of the same guilt, and sighed.

"Sorry…"

She liked Susan, she really did, but sometimes it was hard to remember when everything Susan was, was so closely in her mind entwined with everything Thatcher wasn't. Using the act of clearing away Derek's bowl from the table as a distraction Meredith tried again.

"Derek being here it's good, I still get homesick, and going home for Christmas only reminded me of how far away I was. But, Derek being here makes Seattle really feel like home. I mean New York will always be home, but he makes me think Seattle could be too."

"I didn't realise you were home sick, you never said… I thought you had settled in."

"I have, it's just I'm not sure I've ever really gotten used to not having the family close by. I speak to Carolyn, and Michael most days, but it's not the same as seeing them. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that."

Meredith saw the hurt flash in Susan's eyes, and cringed. She knew she should apologise, but she couldn't find the words, so she fell back on what she did know and pointed towards the door.

"I'm going to take a shower,"

Meredith found herself starting to repeat lines she had used countless times in the past to escape the awkward morning after a one night stand, as she could see Susan readying herself to speak.

"If your not around when I get back, I'll see you Wednesday."

Meredith had hidden upstairs until she had heard Susan's car leave, and almost as a punishment she had set herself to clearing the mountain of laundry that had built up since her return, and sorting out what items of Josh's he had managed to leave around the house. She was on her third load of laundry, and two boxes were sat against the kitchen wall when she heard the front door open, and close before familiar footsteps made their way towards her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Eating lunch with you."

Derek announced dropping a paper bag onto the counter, and kissing her cheek.

"I didn't fancy the cafeteria on my own,"

"You need to make friends,"

"I'm a surgeon, we don't have friends"

Derek said passing her a sandwich from the bag when she perched on the stool beside him.

"Anyway, I have you."

"I have friends, and so do you back..."

Meredith let out a sigh as she turned, and looked at him.

"Back home. All your friends are back home."

"Except you. I had those friends, and was miserable without you, so what does that tell you? Plus, I haven't been here a week yet Mer, I'm still the new guy, or a cowboy as Nelson keeps calling me."

"I suppose, and the nurses love you, that's something."

"Mark would be proud,"

"No, he would be disappointed you hadn't taken advantage of that popularity yet."

"Again, I have you, and when your ready I plan to do a lot of taking advantage, and if my memory serves correct you were handful enough as it is, let alone anyone wanting else."

Derek bumped shoulders with her, before nodding to the two boxes.

"What's that?"

"Josh's stuff. It was my punishment, but now I don't know what to do with it. I can't take it in to the hospital, and he's not talking to me, so I thought on my way to Joe's I would leave it outside his apartment. Your pulling a face, is that to cold?"

"A little. Look hang on to it, just give him a few more days to cool down, and then give him the choice. Does he have much of yours?"

"No… I didn't stay over much. So anything good today?"

"I have a beautiful Oligodendroglioma scheduled for later. Shame I don't have my favourite resident on my service."

"I hate you. I have nothing but more laundry in my future,"

Meredith scowled in reply to his smug grin before biting into her sandwich. Before she had swallowed her mouthful her cell phone rang. Pulling it from her pants pocket she glanced at the screen before doing her best to keep her face straight, stepping into the gap between Derek's legs, she claimed a kiss as she brought it up to her ear.

"Hey Mom,"

"Mom? Mom? Seriously Meredith, are you trying to piss me off right now?"

"No, I'm not. You have just rang at the perfect time. Derek has stopped by for lunch. Do you want to talk to him?"

"Meredith Grey I have taught you so well. All is forgiven, and remind me that I owe you one."

"Oh I will."

Meredith said then handed the phone to Derek distracting him from the screen with a hand running through his hair using it to tip his head back. He grinned at her, and Meredith kept her eyes on his face watching for the moment he realised just what she had done.

"Hey Ma,"

"So this is what it takes… God Derek, how childish can you get! It's been a week, and you haven't answered your phone once. You pack up, move across the country, and nothing. What you throw your family away along with your career too?"

"Nancy…."

Derek choked on his remaining mouthful of food, as Meredith openly laughed. Derek recovered quickly enough to successfully cover his moment of panic.

"Have I missed your calls. You know what, you should have left a message."

"I don't know how you can even find any humour in this Derek? Not when you have just chucked away everything you have spent years working for. I mean did you even consider….?"

Derek pulled the phone away from his ear as his sister continued, reaching out quickly to loop an arm around Meredith's waist as she tried to make an escape.

"Nance I really don't have the time right now, I am due back in to work,"

Derek spoke in to the phone just as she came to the end of her rant of the apparent career suicide he was committing, before immediately removing it from his ear as it set off another rant about how he hadn't even bothered to break the news himself, instead leaving it to their parents. Derek waited for her to fall quiet, before trying again.

"Nance look I am sorry if I hurt you, but Mer is here, there was a reason behind this move, it wasn't just on a whim. God you have all done nothing, but nag me for the past two years to fix this, and…."

"Of course I am glad that you, and Mer are okay again. But, did you really need to move to Seattle to do it?"

"Yes, and you know despite what you might think there is a world outside the Tri-State Area."

Derek groaned regretting his words the moment they were out of his mouth as they only worked to infuriate Nancy more. There was no way this phone call was coming to an end any time soon, and this wasn't how he had planned to spend his lunch hour.

"Nancy... are you cutting out, Nance…. I can't hear … "

Derek started to make a buzzing noise, and he had to reach to cover Meredith's mouth as she snorted erupting in to giggles.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd I swear to god if you end this call then I will..."

Nancy's shriek was crystal clear to even Meredith's ears, but she never got to hear what punishment awaited Derek as with a last buzz he pressed the end call button, then turned the phone off before placing it on the counter.

"You're a funny girl."

"I can't believe you fell for it."

"Well I didn't think you could be that cruel…."

"You can't avoid them forever.,"

"And this is coming from the Queen of Avoidance?"

"Even I don't avoid your sisters. I know better, because I know eventually they will turn up on my doorstep. I don't want them on my doorstep Derek, not yet anyway."

"I'll call her back."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Derek murmured against her skin as he held her close,

"You know to make it up to me we could skip tonight, and go hang out at the trailer instead."

"No we can't. But, if you want to skip it you can. I can meet you at the trailer later."

Derek stopped her with a kiss.

"No, its wingman practise…And I want to know your friends."

The sound of the front door opening had them separating, and for a moment Derek looked frightened.

"How many times have we joked about Nancy being a witch?"

"She rang from her office. God I wish I had a camera."

Meredith laughed as her half-sister rather than Nancy joined them.

"What's funny?"

"You just scared Derek. What are you doing here?"

"Eighty hour limit, and I had a message from my Mom that I have to get off work Wednesday night because we are having a family dinner? I had to find out what on earth made you cave in."

Lexie took the stool next to Meredith, and smiled gratefully when she was handed the other half of Meredith's sandwich.

"It's Derek's welcome to Seattle dinner. Your Mom wouldn't take no for an answer, and Derek is playing wing man."

"Do you know how awkward these things get? Are you sure you are ready for this? I have had years of them, and they still make me nervous."

Derek looked between the two sisters, and smiled

"I like family dinners. I'm sure it will be fun or, fine."

Derek emended as he scrunched his sandwich wrapper into a ball.

"Well some of us don't have the luxury of time off, so I will now return to my tumour."

"He has a huge Oligodendroglioma."

"You don't?"

"I do. Have fun, with your laundry, and your enforced time off, because I will have a great afternoon."

With a wide smile he backed out of the room, and Lexie shot a glance at Meredith.

"It is okay if I hate him a little, right?"

"Well I do, and I was practically raised with him, so you're fine."

"And your okay with dinner? Mer I could talk to Mom if you wanted, I told her she had to stop pushing you, I just don't think she can help herself."

Lexie's expression had changed rapidly from one of humour, to one of anxiety as she studied her sisters face. She was shocked to find for the first time after Meredith had been coerced into sharing a table with her father to not find her glowering with an invisible weight seeming to sit on her shoulders.

"Lex it's fine."

"You think Derek being there will make that much of a difference? Does it at least mean you won't be getting any emergency pages?"

"I won't... Derek, Derek however might,"

"Oh god so you'll leave me there. I had to swap a my Saturday night off to get Wednesday night off, and then I'll be left there with Dad disappearing in to his study, and Mom fussing about him, and then badgering me to why you two just can't sit, and talk the past out."

"I could page you once we leave."

"You would do that for me? Do you swear?"

"Yes,"

"Have I told you lately you're a good big sister."

"You would be a great little sister if you stuck around for a little while, and helped me fold all this."

It didn't matter how little time had passed since she had seen him Meredith couldn't help, but look up every time the door to Joe's opened, only to be disappointed when it wasn't Derek that came through the door. She tried to follow the conversation at the table, but thankfully apart from Cristina who kept her mocking to nothing more than facial expressions none of the other three seemed to notice her distraction. When it finally was him Meredith watched his eyes scan the room before landing on her, his face splitting into a wide smile before he nodded towards the bar.

"You didn't say you'd invited Shepherd?"

It was Izzie who had noticed Derek's entrance at the same time as she had, but before Meredith had a chance to answer George spoke.

"You don't like Shepherd? I do. I scrubbed in with him this afternoon, he was pretty great. Better than Nelson, did you know they have started to call him Shadow Shepherd?"

"Look at that, O'Malley has joined the nurses in the McDreamy fan club."

"Yeah, but your the one who just called him McDreamy."

George pointed out, but Alex only ignored him.

"Her problem is Mer, and Shepherd had a sleepover last night… I think Izzie is jealous no one is climbing into her bed in the middle of the night."

"I'am not jealous."

"I am."

Of seeing their collective shocked glances Cristina laughed

"Oh not of Dr McDreamy, just I wouldn't mind a hot guy climbing into my bed in the middle of the night."

"I just found it strange that's all… He's always around, and how would this look to Josh?"

"It would look like none of his business as they aren't together. Anyway, McBitter is to be busy being an ass to care. He is seriously acting like he was left at the alter."

All three of them shared a glance remembering Cristina's wedding that hadn't happened at the end of last year.

"Too soon?"

She enquired, and the table broke into laughter as Meredith pushed her chair back, and picked her empty glass up.

"Well you guys carry on, I'm going to help Derek with the drinks."

With a grin Derek watched Meredith make her way through the crowd until she was stood beside him at the end of the bar furthest away from her friends.

"Hey." She greeted him, squeezing into the spot beside him, placing her glass down on the bar.

"Hey. So is this a good place to hang out?"

"What?"

"Is this a good place to hang out?"

Derek repeated his eyes shining with laughter, as she stared confusedly at him, before she broke into a laugh.

"Derek Shepherd are you hitting on me?"

"Trying to. Is it working?"

"I'm not sure..."

"So you need some added incentive? I can do that, come with me a sec."

Grabbing hold of her hand Derek pulled her into the crowd and out of the bar, waiting till they were clear of the entrance of Joe's before guiding her against the wall, his body following until he was pressed against her.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you some incentive."

Derek murmured as his lips took possession of hers, and Meredith reciprocated immediately. She moaned in pleasure when his fingers framed her face, his tongue demanding a response from hers as he deepened the kiss.

"How was that?"

Derek panted coming up for air, and Meredith let out a giggle,

"Above average… But, you know all the incentive in the world wont get you where you want to be."

"I don't know what your talking about"

Derek groaned against the skin of neck, her head tilting to give him more access as he made his way up to her ear with short nips of his teeth.

"Really?"

"Yes. This is all part of the fun of getting to know each other. We make out, a lot..."

Between his words Derek kissed her, and just when Meredith was about to close her eyes, and demand more she spotted a movement to her side. Derek felt her tense and pulled back enough to see guilt flood her face as she stared over his shoulder.

"So if he's got his tongue half way down your throat, and your practically dry humping against a wall, does this mean we don't hate him any more? Or is this what makes him such a good wing man?"

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