~What Am I Feeling?~
~Chapter 18- Pursuit Of Happiness~
Scorpius liked being back in his comfortable room in Malfoy Manor. He absolutely loved his room in Hogwarts, of course. His bed there was definitely the more relaxing one and the view of the grounds was amazing. But living with three other boys was not always great, especially when you weren't very good friends with two of them and weren't on speaking terms with the other. It meant the atmosphere had been unbelievably awkward the past week and he wouldn't even sit in his room as he usually did, because if Albus were there... Well, he just wouldn't be. And Scorpius liked to be alone sometimes too and have his own space which was neat and tidy; Albus was the messiest boy he knew.
After dinner, Scorpius had retreated to the library to indulge in having all the books to himself. He did a bit of studying but got distracted when he found a classic Muggle book, Jane Eyre, which he had been meaning to read for a while now.
Once it was late, his mother came to tell him he should head up to bed and he said goodnight to his parents. When he was ready for bed, Tiggy crept into the room so they could catch up. They sat on Scorpius' bed, discussing what had happened last term, as well as the happenings at Malfoy manor between the house elves, though it wasn't really eventful. Tiggy left late that night.
In the morning, Scorpius had breakfast with his father as his mother had already been up bright and early to eat. She came down the stairs not long after they finished, insisting that she and Scorpius go to Diagon Alley to get Scorpius a new robe as his had grown too small for him.
While he was getting ready, he heard a small tapping noise on his window and noticed an owl sitting there with a letter perked in it's beak.
Scorpius plucked the letter from the bird's beak, knowing that the owl did indeed belong to Chris. He leaned up against the window sill, stroking the owl's feather with one hand while holding the letter with the other.
Scorpius,
I hope everything is going okay at home and you're having a good time. I just found out that we'll be going away tomorrow for a few days to Leeds, to visit a few family members. I thought maybe we could go to the cinema before I go. Tonight? There's a good Muggle movie that I think you would like. Meet me at the Leaky Cauldron at seven?
Chris x x
Scorpius smiled at the letter. He knew it would soon have driven him mad being in the house for two weeks straight just studying so at least Chris could entertain him for a night. He got on well with Chris, plus he hadn't been to see a Muggle film in a couple of years now.
"You stay here…" Scorpius whispered to the owl.
Once dressed, Scorpius rushed down the stairs, tripping over a few times. He was so used to having Albus next to him to catch him…
He peaked round the door to his father's study and Draco sat in a large arm chair, the Daily Prophet propped up in front of his face. Draco had the Daily Prophet delivered to the Manor everyday; he liked to keep up with the news.
"Can I come in?" Scorpius hesitantly said, smiling softly.
Draco's head snapped up and he dropped his paper down, smirking at his son, "Of course…"
Scorpius slowly stepped into the room, clutching the letter between his fingers, "Um… Chris sent me a letter… he asked if I wanted to go to the cinema with him tonight."
"Oh…" Draco still wasn't completely comfortable with Scorpius being in a relationship with another boy and probably wouldn't be for a while longer. It was hard to get your head around. But he understood that it was natural for two young people together to want to spend time with each other. He had to let Scorpius go a bit and let him explore his blossoming relationship, "Okay… if you want to go, you can go. What time are you meeting him and where?"
Scorpius blinked a couple of times, surprised that his father had accepted so easily, "Uh, the Leaky Cauldron at seven."
"Do you want me to take you?" Draco offered.
"No, it's okay… I'll just floo there."
"And you're definitely just going to the cinema…?" Uncertainty was laced in the older Malfoy's voice, "Because if you're not it's okay… I understand I think…"
Scorpius caught onto what his father was saying and shook his head quickly, "Oh no! It's nothing like that! We haven't done anything like that… and I don't think we will for a long time…"
"Scorpius, it's okay… you're two teenage boys. As long as you're being safe… it's okay…" Draco awkwardly said, forcing the words out his mouth.
Scorpius' face was flushed in embarrassment, "Really father… we haven't done anything like that and don't plan to anytime soon… I'm not ready for stuff like that."
"Okay…" Draco nodded, almost relieved, "But when you do decide to… you know… um, I'm here to talk. I don't know much about two men together… but I could still help."
Scorpius was still blushing but he smiled gratefully, "Thank you dad."
That was probably the first time, definitely in the last few years since Scorpius had addressed Draco as 'dad'. He had been calling Draco 'father' for as long as he could remember, so it came naturally in conversation. But sometimes, when they shared intimate moments, which was not very often at all, as a slip of the tongue, 'dad' would be said. Draco always did appreciate those moments. He liked being called dad and hoped it would happen more often. It all depended on whether Scorpius felt comfortable with it or not.
Scorpius heard his name echoing from downstairs. He bid farewell to his father and went to meet his mother who was waiting in the front lobby for him. He made sure to answer Chris' letter before they left.
The two flooed themselves to Diagon Alley, their arms linked tightly as they walked in close proximity to each other. They chatted lightly, finding subjects of common interest to discuss.
They arrived at Madam Malkin's, Astoria engaging in a quick conversation with the elderly owner of the shop as she was a frequent customer in the dress robes department. Astoria loved fashion and would often be buying unnecessary items of clothing which she would only wear once, at the most twice and they would be replaced very soon. She travelled all over England, and sometimes abroad, to purchase the newest Wizarding fashion. That's why Scorpius had to look his best at all times too, nothing less would be disgraceful for Astoria.
While he tried on robes, Scorpius told his mother of his plans that night with Scorpius and how Draco had agreed. Astoria was excited for her son as any mother would be when her child was in their first relationship. Scorpius had told her the previous evening that he and Chris had already been in a date to Hogsmeade so it wasn't the first, but it was the first Astoria was aware of at the time and the first she could help Scorpius prepare for prior. She already had an outfit planned out in her head for him.
Once they bought a new robe for Scorpius (And Mrs Malfoy also getting a few things for herself of course) Astoria suggested that they go to the Ice Cream Parlour for a treat.
They passed Weasley Wizard Wheezes on their way to the parlour and George Weasley was standing outside, greeting his customers as he often liked to do.
Scorpius liked George Weasley. He was probably one of the most friendly out of the Weasleys, despite all he had been through during the war. Albus told him that his parents said that George hadn't been himself for years after his twin died. He and Fred had hardly left each other's sides for the first half of his life and without his brother, he didn't feel complete. But Albus said that when his own twins, Fred ii and Roxanne were born by his wife Angelina, who were also due to start Hogwarts next year, he had returned to his near self. He loved his children more than anything on the earth and he was a great father.
When he and Scorpius had met, the first time he had gone to Grimmauld Place at that Christmas all those years ago, George had instantly been the most accepting and welcoming. He also got on particularly well with Teddy as they could relate to each other; they had both had a great loss during the war, even if it weren't the same. So sometimes if Al and Scor would meet up with Teddy, George would also come and maybe bring the twins along.
George waved when he caught sight of Scorpius, grinning widely, "Oh Scorpy dear!" George's joking voice came.
Scorpius smiled as he and his mother made their way over to Wheezes. George stood with his hands on his hips, his head tilted to the side.
"How are you Scorpius? Been a while since I've seen you." George shook the unusually groomed hair of Scorpius, thanks to his mother of course.
"I'm good thanks… just been busy with school." Scorpius shrugged.
George held out a hand for Astoria and she accepted it gratefully, "It's nice to see you again, Mrs Malfoy." They had met once before when George and Teddy came to Malfoy manor to pick Scorpius up to go out for dinner.
Astoria also smiled sweetly, "It's nice to see you again, Mr Weasley."
"Have you seen Teddy recently?" Scorpius asked.
"No, not for about a month," George said with a slight disappointment in his voice, "His last year studying so he's been busy too. He shouldn't have taken that gap year a few years ago, he would be done by now if he hadn't."
A wandlore course was a total of four years long, but Teddy had taken a gap year when Scorpius was in his third year, travelling around the world with his girlfriend at the time, though they broke up half way through the journey. Her name was Ally and Scorpius had met her and she was a lovely girl, quirky like Teddy and they were well-suited. But Scorpius had got the impression that Teddy didn't think she was the one. They had remained good friends though, even after the break up, "Oh well, he'll be done soon and he'll be able to get on with his life. I was hoping to see him this week though…"
"I'm sure he'll make the exception for you." George rolled his eyes, knowing how fond Teddy was of his cousin.
"Well, we better leave you to your work…"
"I'm sure we'll see each other sometime during the half-term."
Scorpius guessed he didn't know about his sexuality nor his recent disagreement with Albus. Yet he was sure he would find out soon. He said goodbye to George, knowing that it was most likely he wouldn't see him this holiday.
The Malfoys continued onto the ice-cream parlour.
Unfortunately, when they were walking in, the last people Scorpius wanted to see were leaving. Albus and Danielle stopped right in their path. Their faces were a picture of awkwardness, Albus not sure whether he should speak up or just pass because Scorpius probably didn't want to see him. Scorpius looked more annoyed than anything. Of course he would run into Albus and Danielle, it was just his luck.
Astoria knew what had happened between Scorpius and Albus of course, but it would be rude not to greet him. She did like Albus, he was a nice boy, no matter how much Draco disliked him. And she knew it was probably just a phase with him and Scor, she didn't need to worry too much about it, they would be friends again in no time.
"Albus, dear, how are you?" Astoria kissed the Potter's cheek, offering a small but awkward smile.
Albus glanced between Astoria and Scorpius, but mainly focused on Scorpius, "I'm great thanks, Mrs Malfoy. How are you?"
"Oh absolutely fine." Astoria replied pleasantly.
Albus looked to Scorpius who was sulking in the corner, "Scor… how are you?"
Their eyes met and the pain present in each boy was unbearably obvious to each of them. Albus willed away the desire to draw Scorpius into his arms and hold him close and Scorpius dismissed the thoughts of being wrapped in Albus' strong arms again, "I'm fine… great actually, I'm seeing Chris tonight." Scorpius added, knowing it would add to their game of jealousy.
Albus' lips pressed together in a thin line, his teeth gritted. Scorpius got exactly the reaction he wanted, "Oh… well… have fun then."
Sensing the tension, Astoria interrupted the boys, "Is this Danielle?"
Albus took on a fake, confident smile, "Yeah, Danielle this is Astoria, Scorpius' mum."
Astoria and Danielle exchanged pleasantries. Astoria knew that Scorpius wanted to escape this now and placed a hand on her son's shoulder, "Well, we'll leave you to it."
Scorpius and Astoria tried to pass when Scorpius felt his wrist in a tight grasp. Albus hung onto him desperately, his eyes watering with tears, "Please let me see you this holiday."
Scorpius felt his heart clench but he shook his head, "I can't do that Albus."
The women stared at the two boys, entranced by their strong friendship, what they thought was the extent of their relationship, "Scorpius, I need you. I need to see you. Please."
"No," Scorpius said stubbornly. He couldn't give in, Albus had hurt him. And he hand hurt him bad. He couldn't and wouldn't give in, "Let's go, mother."
Astoria didn't know what to do other than give Albus a sympathetic glance as they walked past.
~X~
Albus and Danielle had left and the Malfoys didn't speak of what just happened when they sat down in the parlour. Scorpius made sure to avoid that subject completely.
The rest of the day had been quite uneventful, other than Astoria disrupting Scorpius studying and started sorting out an outfit for him for his date that evening.
In no time at all, it was quarter to seven and Scorpius was hurrying down the stairs, trying to look for his wallet. He thought he had left it in his room but he had searched high and low and he couldn't find it still. He needed Muggle money to go to the cinema and he doubted that his father would have any to lend him.
He burst into the study where his mother was sitting, sipping on tea while reading a magazine.
"Mother, have you seen my wallet?" He panted, his shoulders moving up and down as he breathed heavily.
"Oh, I don't know dear," She frowned as she looked at his dishevelled hair, "Now all this running around has messed your hair up!"
Scorpius groaned before she could start to fix his hair again, "I don't have time for that!"
He sprinted out the study but halted when he realised his father was standing outside. His father chuckled and shook his head, when he suddenly held up Scorpius' wallet.
"Is this what you're looking for?" Draco said mockingly, head tipped to the side playfully.
"Oh!" Scorpius beamed, "Where was it?"
"In the library?" Draco threw his eyes to the sky as he handed his son the wallet, "Why on earth did you need it in the library?"
Scorpius blushed when he remembered why he had been using it. He had a picture of him and Albus in the wallet, the same one Albus kept in his. He had taken it out to look at it for a few minutes the day before as he got lost in deep thought, "Oh… I don't know, I was just playing around with it."
"Are you… ready then?" Draco asked while biting his lip.
"Yeah… I might as well go now…" Scorpius pulled his sleeve back to look at the time, "Chris is always early."
"Scorpius!" Astoria came storming in and pounced on Scorpius, straightening his hair and trying to make it neater. Scorpius struggled, he liked his hair the way it was and whenever his mother did it, he looked far too groomed.
Draco chuckled but pulled Astoria back by the hand, "Oh leave him be, Astoria. It's his date."
"He needs to look nice though." Astoria pouted as Scorpius started to scruff his hair back to normal.
"I'm going to go." Scorpius said sceptically, tucking his wallet into his pocket.
"Scorpius," Astoria wrapped him in a tight embrace and kissed his forehead, "Have fun. Be good."
"I will, thanks…" Scorpius blushed, hiding behind his golden locks.
Draco placed a hand on his son's shoulder and forced a smile, "Have a good time… what time will you be back?"
"Chris said the movie finishes at about half nine so I should be back as soon as possible… we may get something to eat, but I'll floo you if we do." Scorpius promised.
"Okay… see you later."
Scorpius stepped into the fireplace in the other room, his parents watching in the doorway. He flooed to the Leaky Cauldron, still adjusting his hair back to the way he liked it.
It didn't take long for Scorpius to spot Chris, especially as he was staring right at him. Chris was beaming as he usually did when he saw Scorpius.
Chris stood and they met in the middle, though Chris was the one to walk faster and put far more effort into getting to Scorpius.
The older boy's arms instantly enfolded tightly around Scorpius' small form and Scorpius let a gasp escape his lips.
When the embrace was broken, instead their lips were joined in a sweet kiss. Chris had grown more confident since a few weeks ago and their intense snogging session though they hadn't got any further than that. But he was no longer hesitant at all when diving in for a kiss and his hands ventured further yet still careful not to overstep boundaries.
"How are you?" Chris whispered, ignoring the glances they got around them.
"I-I'm fine thank you…" Scorpius stuttered, nervous after the kiss, "You?"
"Yeah, I'm great, especially now," Chris draped an arm over Scorpius' shoulder as they both started to head out of the Leaky Cauldron, through the exit which led to Muggle London, "Happy to be home?"
"Yeah… But I always end up missing Hogwarts." Scorpius sighed, thinking of all the good times he had with Albus.
"I'm sorry this was so quick and last minute. I didn't know I was going away and was worried we wouldn't get to see each other properly this week if we didn't see each other today." Chris explained, tightening his grip around Scorpius' shoulders.
"That's okay… I wanted to come."
Chris smiled, "I was missing you already too."
Scorpius and Chris arrived at the cinema which was only about ten minutes walk from the Leaky Cauldron. Chris bought a big bucket of popcorn for the two of them to share as well as two cokes. Scorpius liked Muggle foods once in a while because of how sweet and unhealthy it all was.
Once seated in the cinema and the adverts before the film had started playing, they engaged in quiet conversation. They were both reaching for the popcorn every so often, their fingers sometimes brushing.
"Um…" Chris awkwardly said, "I understand if you haven't and it doesn't matter if you haven't… but I was just curious… have you told your parents about us?"
Scorpius' eyes widened at the sudden question and he shifted uncomfortably, "I-I came out yesterday to them…"
"Oh…" Chris didn't realise Scorpius hadn't told them at all, he thought he would have. He was surprised, "How did that go…?"
"Um… it was scary, I guess. I was really nervous and everything…" Scorpius pulled his knees up to his chest, "I thought my father would freak out over it… but he actually wasn't too bad. He said he would support me… so it went better than I thought."
"That's good," Chris drew Scorpius closer so the blonde could rest his head in the crook of Chris' neck, "I know how hard it is… telling your parents and everything. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done I think," Chris nuzzled his nose into Scorpius' luscious locks, "Did you mention me…?"
"Yeah…" Scorpius nodded, "I told them about you and they said you sound nice… my mother will probably expect to meet you sometime."
"Well I can't wait…" Chris chuckled, "I told my family about you too. They were surprised, but I think they were mostly happy in the end that they knew I liked you so much."
Scorpius' heart sunk. He had been feeling guilty recently about the extent Chris liked him and he didn't return the feelings, only said he did. But he continued to tell Chris that he liked him too, to make Chris happy more than anything and also to try and convince himself too, "I like you too."
Chris beamed and leant forward to steal a kiss from his boyfriend in the darkness of the cinema.
Scorpius just felt bad that he always seemed to think of Albus whenever he kissed Chris.
~X~
A/N: So, I think that chapter's interesting, just because there's a complete mix of emotions flying around. Got this chapter done quicker than expected and was able to make a start on the next one too. I think it'll probably be up on Monday... maybe tomorrow night... We'll see.
And there's good new, I'm on half term this week which means I will be able to write more! Yay! I certainly look forward writing them and I hope you look forward to reading them too. The next few chapters will be... very interesting let's say.
I'm also getting more excited about introducing the new pairing, though I don't think it's anytime soon really. Will have to check my story plan again.
Thanks to Lizzy0308, CandePFeatherSnitch95, C8ecat, Pasdoll and EKdark for reviewing the last chapter! Also made me feel a lot better about the chapter before too so thanks!
Next chapter:: The return to Hogwarts and it turns out that Albus and Scorpius have been missing each other a lot more than they could have imagined.