For as long as Jace could remember, he'd never believed in the whole soulmate legend. His father had always taught him that such legends were silly nonsense made up to explain something that was unexplainable, much like mundane science. So as soon as his father had given him the Wayland ring, he'd taken to wearing it almost every second of every day, even when he was fighting. He hated his tattoo more than anything else, and, although the ring was now a painful reminder of what had happened to his father, the ring was the best way to keep from seeing it every time he looked down at his hand.
But the one time Jace found that he couldn't wear the ring was when he was playing the piano. He'd always felt exposed when playing, as though his soul was on display for anyone who watched him. The ring only made him uncomfortable; it kept his fingers from moving freely enough to play properly, to play with the passion that he always found in himself. When he'd first arrived at the Institute, Isabelle and Alec had relentlessly questioned him about his tattoo, but telling them would have meant becoming vulnerable to them, so he tried to hide it for as long as possible.
Jace had finally shown Alec after their parabatai ceremony, and that was when he stopped wearing the ring to play the piano as well, figuring that he had no reason to hide it any longer. He assumed that Alec had told Isabelle what it was because she never bothered him about it again. When Alec developed the habit of either reading or simply taking a nap every time he played the piano, Jace had the urge to cover his tattoo again. But the more Alec did this, the more Jace realized that it was somehow comforting to Alec, but he was surprised to realize that it was also calming to him. Having his parabatai by his side seemed to change his outlook on almost everything, but the one thing that never changed was the fact that he hated his tattoo.
For the first little bit, Alec tried to convince Jace that there was some sort of truth to the legend, but after Jace rejected the idea over and over, Alec finally gave up. He could always see the hope in Alec's eyes, but lately that hope had become mixed with more and more disappointment. Jace knew he wasn't likely to ever believe in the legend, but he had to admit that he loved the way Alec held onto it. It somehow helped Alec keep his youthfulness in a world that was so cruel to him in almost every other way.
So when Clary started to pull her own ring off, Jace couldn't help but push her away. From the look on her face, he knew exactly what was under her ring, and he didn't want to see it at all. He knew he probably should have listened to her; he knew he probably should have at least tried to be gentle with her. But that was something he couldn't seem to do, no matter how hard he tried.
"Don't Clary," he said, standing up and moving away from the piano as Clary motioned for him to look. "I don't want to see it." He watched as the look on her face switched from hope and joy to confusion and pain. Jace reached for his own ring, shoving it on his finger with much more force than was necessary. He should have known, however, that Clary wouldn't give up so easily.
"I don't understand, Jace," she said, her voice full of desperation. She grabbed his wrist as he tried to move past her, and for a fleeting moment, Jace thought of how easily he could get away from her, but he didn't want to use that kind of force on someone who wasn't trained, so he let her hold onto him. "Can't we just talk about this?" she asked, her voice softer than it had been just moments before. "I've waited years for this and you're just going to shove me away like it doesn't matter?"
Jace stared at her for a few moments before finally resigning himself to the fact that Clary wasn't going to stop until they'd at least talked about it. He sat himself down on the couch that Alec could so often be found on when he was playing piano, and he silently wished for Alec to be by his side, but Jace knew that his parabatai couldn't help him now, no matter how much he wished that Alec could. "There's nothing to talk about, Clary," he said, his voice tight and controlled. "I don't believe in the legend. That's all there is to this."
Clary's expression changed to disbelief, and Jace had to look down at his ring, wishing with all his heart that he could erase the tattoo. "Why don't you believe it?" she asked, her voice suddenly sharp and forceful. "Are you too afraid that it's true? Ever since I've come here you've acted like it pains you to love people. Even with Alec you act like you can't be bothered by it. Isn't he supposed to be your parabatai, whatever that is? Is that what this is about? That you're just scared?"
Before Jace knew what he was doing, he was on his feet. "Do not talk to me of my love for Alec," he practically spat at her, standing over Clary and looking down on her with what he knew was all but hate in his eyes. "There is so much about this world you do not understand. But there is much more that you don't understand about me. Do not assume that I do not love Alec just because I don't express my love in the same ways that you do."
Clary looked up at him in a way that told him she wasn't going to back down, and Jace internally flinched at the way he found that slightly endearing, no matter how annoying it was at the moment. "I simply don't believe that if we were soulmates we would only be able to fall in love because of some silly tattoos," Jace continued, trying to soften his voice. "If we were supposed to be together, we'd end up together without these stupid things." He watched as Clary flinched as he called the tattoos stupid.
Jace thought that Clary was going to simply give up, finally broken down by what he was saying. But when Alec appeared in the doorway, she seemed to change her mind about what she had been planning on saying. "We're not done with this conversation, Jace," she said, turning toward Alec instead. "I want to see Simon. I'm done asking." At first, Alec simply looked at Jace as though he wanted nothing more than to get rid of Clary.
"We can't take you anywhere until we know more about what's going on," he said, raising his hand when it looked as though Clary was going to speak up. "You've risked our lives already. I'm not going to allow you to risk them again just for the chance to see some mundane." Jace looked over at Alec in surprise, his voice had been much harder than it normally was, and Jace couldn't seem to figure out why. Sure, what had happened with Clary so far had been dangerous for all of them, but being Shadowhunters was dangerous.
When Clary started to argue, Alec cut her off once more, his eyes curiously landing on Clary's hand. "I said no. Hodge said no. We've all told you no. The mundane will be much safer if you left him out of this. Or is it that you don't actually care about keeping the people you love safe?" Jace scanned Alec's face as Clary stormed out of the room. He wasn't sure he'd ever heard Alec be so harsh; cold and focused, yes, but harsh was a much different story.
When Alec walked in and sat down, Jace moved back to the piano. "What kind of conversation was she talking about?" Alec asked, but Jace forced himself to ignore the question for several minutes, at least until Alec spoke up again. "Why are you still wearing your ring?" he asked, his voice much softer than it was before. Jace closed his eyes as he kept playing, mostly because he knew if he didn't he would look over at Alec and see the pity in his eyes.
The only thing Jace knew to do was to explain everything that had just happened, knowing that Alec wouldn't give up until he figured it out, not after he'd noticed something like Jace leaving his ring on. "I don't get it either, Jace," Alec replied when Jace had finished explaining things. "You've always been so opposed to this entire soulmate idea, and I've never been able to figure out why. Just put yourself in her shoes, Jace. At least try to think of what it might be like for someone who actually believes in it. What it might be like when they find the person who's supposed to be their soulmate."
"It's not that easy," Jace abruptly said, whirling around on Alec, quickly on his feet, not caring about the piano anymore. "I don't want to hear this from you, too. You've always had a childlike belief in this." Alec flinched, and Jace knew it was most likely from his tone and not what he was actually saying. "Why do you care anyways?" he asked, trying to soften his voice.
Alec shook his head in the fashion that he generally did when Jace was doing something he deemed outrageous. "You're my parabatai," he said, his voice also softer than it had been. "Your happiness is my happiness," he finished, as if that perfectly explained everything. Jace sat back down on the piano bench, but he didn't turn back to the piano itself; he was too fixated on his parabatai, looking curiously at Alec, worried about his earlier actions.
"Forget about me for a second," he said, watching Alec's face change ever so slightly. "What was all of that about?" Jace motioned toward the door, knowing that Alec would understand exactly what he was talking about. "With Clary, I mean," he specified, even though it was unnecessary. "You were almost cruel with her, Alexander. I've never seen you like that."
Alec shifted uneasily in his seat, looking down at his foot in the nervous way that he always had. It was a habit of his that Jace had quickly picked up on when he had first come to the Institute. Alec's tattoo was situated on his left foot, and when he became uncomfortable, he couldn't help but look down at it. Jace knew that Alec's tattoo was the reason he'd chosen his weapon, the bow and arrow, in the first place. The tattoo was a highly intricate arrow, and his fascination with it had led him to believe that he was meant to use a bow and arrow as his weapon.
"I'm just trying to keep you and Isabelle safe, that's all," Alec replied, still looking down at his foot. "We don't know what's going on, and we can't afford to risk anything right now. If Valentine is really behind all of this, then going out with Clary isn't safe for any of us." Jace couldn't seem to argue with that, but he'd always thought of Alec as the gentle one; no matter how focused and calculating he became, he was always gentle with people. Before Jace could begin to point that out, Isabelle burst in the room, holding out what looked like a flyer for Alec to see.
"Magnus Bane," she said, as if that explained everything. "If anyone will know what's going on with Clary or will know how to get information about it at all, it will be Magnus. He's the High Warlock of Brooklyn." Alec looked down at the flyer for a moment before he began shaking his head, and Jace automatically knew what the flyer was for. The only thing Alec would resist going to would be a party. "Dress to impress boys," Isabelle said, confirming Jace's assumptions. "We've got a party to crash."