A/N: Okay! I wanted to thank my guest reviewer (Guest) for mentioning P!nk's (w/ Nate Ruess) 'Just Give Me a Reason' in regards to a Loki/Natalie pairing. I'm always happy when I find a song that has even one line that works with my characters; because trying to match the other lines to the characters as well can give me a lot of inspiration. (It's actually probably my main source; So I usually purposefully listen to songs and try to think of them in regards to whatever characters I'm currently working with. Even if I don't get overly inspired, it can sometimes be good for a laugh. :P)
I will say that a number of the lines did work for their relationship. I won't say which did and which didn't (spoilers!) but I did want to say thank you, because it did have some good lines; and because it introduced me to a new song, too. :)
I will also say this: as of this chapter, I'm unclear on whether or not I will be taking Natalie and Loki in the 'romantic' direction. Basically, I just put the characters in a room together and let them decide. They nudge me in the direction they want to go. So, even though I know I said I wasn't planning on taking them in that direction… well, they might have other ideas. Might.
Anyway. Just a heads up! ;)
Well, here I was again. Back on Asgard for the second time that day, standing in front of Loki's prison doors, the Avengers at my side. I pushed the doors open, knowing that all magical barriers against Loki had been released, that he could now step out into the world around us without any interference. I heard Tony's repulsors getting ready to fire, the click of Natasha's gun, the quiet sound of Clint knocking an arrow in his bow.
Sheesh. I tugged on the sleeve of my shirt, covering the Key and looking into the darkness beyond. Inside, I knew, Loki hovered on the edge of the light, watching the darkness tentatively, as though simply by touching it, he could burn.
Steve shifted his shield on his arm. Everyone here was suited up and ready to react; everyone but me and Thor, who stood by my side, his bright blue eyes brooding as he looked into the darkness.
Everyone waited in silence for a long moment… and then the cell was flooded with light; that same pale, grey light that had illuminated that one patch for so long, now spreading to the rest of the cell, showing the path out of the dark; and suddenly, we could all see him, and he us. The darkness no longer stood as a wall in between us; I could see him as plain as day; and not just in my mind, not any longer.
Loki was free.
His eyes took everything in while his face remained immobile; I could detect just the slightest hint of fear; the same expression he had whenever he saw lightning, or heard thunder crackling in the distance… Bracing himself for just the briefest of moments, readying himself for an attack… but then, seeing that we were doing nothing, the smile came back, large and irritating as all hell. Nodding a few times, very, very slowly, he clasped his hands behind his back and started walking forwards, walking towards us.
I kept my own face hard, my hands clenched in fists at my sides as he stepped into the light that had just appeared; even as I felt him tense, ever-so-slightly, at the sudden thought that he might be plunged into darkness again. This flinch was not something that was noticeable to the eye, however, and to the Avengers, it merely seemed as though he was being his usual smug, irritating self. Only I knew better; Loki had fooled everyone, even his brother.
Then again, he was a smug, irritating person by nature, anyway. It wasn't such a difficult lie.
As he walked up to us, he casually glanced at the weaponry aimed at him, and at the hammer in Thor's belt. There was no longer anything to block his magical abilities; Loki was at his full power, his full strength… and we all knew it. And, even if we hadn't, he made it perfectly clear with every gesture, every glance.
His eyes met every one of the Avengers', scrutinizing and self-satisfied, before finally landing on me. I was holding the Tesseract in my hands, fitted inside of the glass device with the golden handles, our transport in and out of Asgard; he glanced to it, then met my gaze. His smirk grew as he tilted his head up slightly higher, looking down at me.
"So," he said quietly. "A team, then."
I actually heard jaws clench, heard hands tightening in fists. Clint drew his arrow back just slightly. I looked at Loki with narrowed eyes.
Carefully, I handed the device out to him. "So it would seem," I said, very coldly. Loki chuckled quietly and took the other end; the Avengers, keeping their eyes on him, each reached forwards and placed their hands on the handles; carefully, I twisted my end…
And, in a flash of blue light, a blurring of all colors… we were back on Earth.
Tony wasted no time stalking back inside the Tower. During my visit with S.H.I.E.L.D., he had informed JARVIS of our 'visitor', in an effort to make sure that the building did not attack him. The rest of us followed Stark, with Loki falling in step with me after I returned the Tesseract to Thor. I was not sure if the others noticed the way the Trickster lingered beside me, letting me lead us forwards; he was, after all, in mildly unfamiliar territory. Just because he had seen this place a thousand times in my memory did not mean that he knew everything about it, did not mean that he had been here before. Though, technically, he had been to the Tower before… but not like this. Not under the watch of the Avengers, not with them monitoring his every move.
Tony turned to us the instant we entered the Tower, with all of the Avengers crowded in the doorway. He looked to Loki, his eyes as hard as diamonds.
He jabbed a finger towards the Norse god of Mischief, eyes narrowed. "Top twelve floors, off limits. Floor fourteen, completely off limits. Anywhere else," he turned the jabbing finger towards me. "And she's with you at all times. And when she's not with you, someone else is. Clear?"
Loki lifted both eyebrows; with all the casual arrogance of a millionaire tossing a dime to a beggar, he answered, "Perfectly."
"And JARVIS?" Tony added, ignoring Loki's response.
"Yes, Mr. Stark?"
"You are to refer to him as 'puny god' and nothing else, am I clear?"
"Of course, Mr. Stark."
"Tony!" I complained.
"End of discussion, Pizza Girl," he answered me, his eyes still steely, his jaw clenched. He whirled around and stalked away, clearly intent on brooding. Loki glanced to me, noting my reaction, but said nothing. The other Avengers went past us, save Clint and Thor, who remained until I started walking again, Loki at my heels.
I suddenly whirled on all three of them, studying Loki intently. "Where the hell does he expect you to sleep?" I grumbled, more to myself than anything else. Loki's thoughts questioned the wisdom in reminding Clint that he did, in fact, sleep; neither of us really put it past the Hawk to cover the cameras and slit Loki's throat in the middle of the night. I sighed heavily. Well, it seemed that the two of us were going to be spending a lot of time around each other…
"Come on," I muttered discontentedly, gripping Loki's sleeve and dragging him along. He put up with it for only a moment before yanking his hand away and following me in a more dignified manner. Thor and Clint shadowed us for a while, until I gave them both death glares.
"I've got this," I hissed at them both. Clint's eyes were harder than Tony's had been, but he backed away quietly. Thor simply looked… concerned. I sighed and repeated, a little more gently, "Seriously. I've got it."
He hesitated, then nodded slowly and turned away. I walked onwards, with Loki at my side… I took him to the elevator, punching in the number; Loki seemed just the slightest shade discombobulated at the jolt it made as it started upwards, but he stood beside me with a perfectly calm face, his hands still behind his back, his long fingers encircling the marking on his wrist.
When we arrived at my intended floor, Loki continued to follow me in silence; I stalked towards my final destination, down the hallway, and into my room.
"All right, so I'm guessing this is yours now," I said as I opened the door. "I'll snag one of the others or something."
Loki looked around as I gathered together the few things that I still had littered about the place; a few books, my laptop. I'd been staying there for a long time, but as we'd been permanently on edge, waiting for the shadows to attack, I'd packed pretty lightly; as evidenced by my earlier debacle with the jeans-and-tee-shirt that I was still wearing. "I've got no idea what the hell Tony plans on doing about this whole 'someone-stays-with-you-at-all-times' thing when you're sleeping… maybe the others will take turns guarding or something."
"Miss Frost."
I ignored him for a second, kind of on a roll. "Maybe he doesn't even know that you do sleep." I shook my head. "Nah. I mean, Thor has his own room here. Hell, he's got his own floor. Why don't I have a floor? Oh, right. Cause I'm not an Avenger. Duh."
"Miss Frost."
I realized that I was babbling suddenly, the words pouring out of me before I could stop them. "Then again, Tony isn't exactly the most observant of people. Maybe he doesn't really notice that Thor actually has to sleep."
"Natalie."
I turned to him, abruptly silenced by the tone of his words. He smiled very gently.
"We did it, Natalie."
I tensed; it was a show of familiarity, an incriminating statement. Heimdal, I thought in a panic; but Loki's voice cut that thought off in its tracks.
"Can no longer see us," he informed me coolly.
JARVIS? I started again, but again he simply smiled and shook his head.
"There are no eyes that I can not fool, Miss Frost. Even ones made of metal. We are safe."
Safe? Safe from what, the Avengers? Safe from my own lies, my own deceits?
It took me a long moment to realize what he was talking about, to switch gears completely; we were safe from their suspicions, safe from the Avengers' constant stares. Safe from the act that we had been forced to perform; safe from the roles that we had been playing all day long. This past day, I hadn't had a moment's peace, hadn't had even a second to just… be myself.
It was as though a weight lifted off of my shoulders, my chest. A weight that I hadn't even noticed was there until it was gone, and I realized that I could breathe again. I sighed in relief and dropped down to the bed, my babbling dying out, my head aching. I buried my face in my hands.
"Never. Make me do that again." I said in exasperation, then groaned quietly against my fingers. He chuckled softly.
"We are far from finished." He sat down beside me, his posture so different from my relaxed, easy manner; he sat in a tight space, so measured and controlled. I peered at him through my fingers. "But we did succeed. Be grateful for the small victories; they may be all we have left."
"Isn't waxing on the philosophical supposed to be my job?"
He didn't answer, merely quirking an eyebrow. I leaned back a little, feeling muscles relaxing everywhere in my body; muscles I didn't even know that I was tensing. My stomach unclenched. My hands fell loose and limp. My jaw, I suddenly realized, was aching from all the times my teeth had been clenched together. I was not, in my natural state, a liar.
No. Maybe that wasn't true. Maybe I was just too used to Loki's company; Loki, whom I never had to lie to ever, whom I never could lie to. Shifting from that, to this endless deception… it was very disorienting.
Suddenly, I grinned. "We did do it, didn't we?" I laughed a little, shaking my head back and forth. "We actually got you out of there. For the love of all sanity, we actually got you out." I laughed again, the relief, the wonder at what we had done flooding through me, like an endless adrenaline high.
Loki smiled as well, though it was far more controlled then my own, and he looked at me with an almost patronizing amusement. Like an adult watching a child opening a Christmas present. I was so relieved, so bloody happy, that I almost hugged him right then and there. If he was anyone but him, I probably would have. No, scratch that: if he hadn't been telling me to kneel a few hours ago, then I definitely would have.
"There may have been a few… complications," Loki said, glancing to our hands, which rested a few inches apart from each other, the markings of the distinctive Keys on our wrists matching exactly. "But…" he hesitated, thinking for a long moment. I was still too crazy happy to notice the emotions that roiled about in him; and for a long moment, I mostly ignored them. But then he cleared his throat and tried again.
"Thank you. For your assistance." He said at last. Each word seemed to choke him, and he would not even look at me as he said it. I gave him a look, studying him for a second, before pulling my wrist closer to my body, looking at the pattern there.
"What are crazy mind-linked-mortals for?" I asked, shrugging. He rolled his eyes. I chuckled. "I'll always try to help you, Loki. That's what I've been doing from the start." I leaned back on my hands, looking up at my-and-soon-to-be-Loki's-ceiling. "I mean, I'll always put the Earth first; and Asgard… but I…" I shut up abruptly. I knew what I wanted to say, and thus he knew what I wanted to say… but still, I could not say it out loud. I looked to the ground, trying to force the words out. "I don't like to see you hurt," I admitted. "Or afraid. And I know it's just our connection, making me bleed for you… but I do want to help you."
I realized that he was watching me closely, with a little too much intent, and I shrugged it off again. "I have limits, of course," I said, too hurriedly.
"Of course," he echoed quietly, thoughtfully. I shook my head.
"Whatever. Let's just get moving before the others get suspicious, si?"
"Aye," he stood, walking to the other end of the room, and closed his eyes; I could feel the magic the air diminishing with every movement, our shields relinquishing, our illusions stripped away, leaving us with nothing but our act, our game, to hide us away from the rest of the world. I wasn't sure why Loki had even bothered to create that illusion in the first place, wasn't sure why he had bothered to give us both a moment to truly be ourselves… but I figured that he, the liar, would have had experience with such things before, would know that every so often, the lie had to vanish, and the true, rotten core of the person must show through…
I shoved the thought down, pushing away my anxieties, my guilt. I had lied for a reason. I was protecting my planet, protecting Loki. It was more than likely that he had given us that moment of safety from prying eyes in order to celebrate our victory; not to force me to doubt myself. I straightened, plastering a scowl on my face. The curtain was up. The show must go on.
I gathered up all of my things again, picking them up, tucking my laptop under my arm. "Ok. So this…" I looked around the room. "Is yours. You mess it up, you clean it up. Clear?" I forced myself to act irritable, as though all of this was something that I hated, something that I was being forced to do.
Loki, too, had fallen back into the act: he nodded once, solemnly, his eyes dancing again. As I stalked towards the exit, he cleared his throat.
"Miss Frost?"
I turned. He held a book out to me, still smirking. "You forgot this."
I gave him a death glare and snatched it from him; but as my arms were already full, the movement sent everything tumbling to the ground; I barely managed to snatch my laptop before the screen cracked in half. I swore breathlessly, in a long torrent, as I tried to gather it all up again. Loki stood back and watched; eventually, I looked up at him.
"You could help, you know," I grumbled at him.
"I could," he admitted, but he made no move to do so. Muttering something about how much I hated aliens, I managed to get all of my stuff together.
"Follow," I ordered as I walked out; I was not supposed to leave him alone, after all. Though neither of us was ever truly 'alone'; but that was not something that Tony would have recognized. Loki did as I asked, walking after me with tall, confident strides, his coat flaring out just slightly behind him, giving each footstep a dramatic sweep and a touch of power. I ignored this as I asked JARVIS to open the door of the room right next to Loki's; I keyed in my password, which Loki of course knew, and dropped all of my stuff onto the bed and started organizing. It wasn't a long job; just a few minutes of sorting through my useless crap, and Loki remained quiet throughout the entire thing. Say what you like about the Trickster, but patience is one thing that he has down to a T.
Finally, I turned to him. He lifted both eyebrows. I shuffled a little on my feet. Nervous. Edgy. It was exactly how I felt, and it was exactly how I was supposed to feel. "So the others will probably tell us about a meeting sometime later today. I'm sure they'll want whatever information you have right away." I leaned against one of the chairs in the room and added, "Which, I'm also sure, you're not going to discuss with me."
He smiled, neither affirming nor negating my statement; I sighed. "That's what I thought. Ok. Whatever." I frowned. Now that I had Loki out of his cell and in the free, untouched world, I had absolutely no idea what to do with him. After all, a majority of the time that I spent in the Tower was wasted away by playing video games, reading, listening to music, watching TV, writing reports… the normal, hum-drum of everyday life. That was something that I couldn't see Loki doing; anything normal, put together with him, just didn't seem to fit. I couldn't exactly see the Norse god of Mischief watching TV, or reading Harry Potter or something. (Actually, seeing how much I loved Harry Potter, Loki had given me his own view of the story through the memories in my head; he found it a rather distasteful representation of magic, filled with nothing but the drama of mortal lives to make it seem more interesting. Then again, he didn't particularly like Earth fiction, anyway. As he'd once said: "I don't care for the lives of mortals, Miss Frost. I care even less for the lives of fictional mortals.")
Loki noticed my dilemma as I chewed on my lip, trying to figure out what to do with him. The light smile that had not left his face since he'd arrived in the Tower now curled upwards even more. We were still in what was now my room, but he made himself comfortable nonetheless, lowering himself to the floor, sitting there with his legs folded. "That will be all, Miss Frost," he told me dismissively, closing his eyes. His spine straightened, his hands loose in his lap as he concentrated. This was not a rare thing for him; his favorite pastime really just seemed to be… thinking.
But right now, that was actually not what he was doing. I shuddered a little as power started to course through his veins, pure energy crackling inside him despite how calm he seemed on the outside. It had been a very long time since Loki had been at his full strength, since he had been in control of his power. It had taken such a blow in prison, muffled and smothered by his father's power. He had been all but stripped of his magic, all but the basest, core elements of it, and thus had been stripped of a large part of himself. He was not called a 'Master of Magic' for no reason, after all. He was the Trickster, the Illusionist; he relied on these little tricks, this uncertain energy, this ability that separated him ever further from his brother.
And now that power had been returned to him. He was, if you will, taking a little time to become reacquainted with it, with that side of himself. I turned away, feeling that raw energy buzzing through him… His mind was whirring again, his thoughts spinning as he thought and planned, as he gathered together all of his ideas, fine-tuning them into a well-written plot, a battle strategy, based on the subtle power that danced about in his heart…
I tried to block him out. It felt a little bit too right, to have Loki back to himself. And it was, in all honesty, seriously unnerving. Loki and I had been on opposite sides quite frequently; that was how we had been from the beginning. And seeing him like this… it reminded me of the old days, the days in which the very thought of him terrified me, in which it was not normal to have someone else's voice in my brain, in which I was actually scared of him. It had been a very long time since I had associated 'fear' with our relationship; he had already done his worst to me, had already destroyed me from the inside out, hollowed me out, made me a shell. And then I had beat the crap outta him.
Since then, I had rebuilt. I had pulled my life back together, had built up a life from the ashes that he left behind. I had gone on with my life by helping him, by helping my family. Had dealt with my pain by helping others deal with theirs. And my relationship with him had changed; drastically. I no longer feared him, not really. And these days… after all was said and done, I wanted to help him…
A thought passed through my mind that I tried to quell, but it refused to be silenced, and soon echoed in my brain a thousand times over. Did I ever forgive him?
I tried to push the thought away, to clear it out of my head… the obvious answer, of course, was 'no'. How could I forgive him for the things that he'd done? How could I let go of the crimes that he'd committed against me, how could I forget that he was the one who had killed April, who had twisted my father's mind, who had tried to make me into a murderer?
But, the more complicated, topsy-turvy, crazy answer was 'yes'. Of course I had forgiven him. How could I not? He was just in pain. Hurt people will hurt people. That's the nature of life; just because I had dealt with my pain by helping others didn't mean that he could do the same, that he was physically capable of doing the same. And, beyond that, Loki was a part of me now. He was a part of my very mind; his thoughts and mine mingled so much that we sometimes had trouble determining whose thought was whose. And how could I not forgive myself?
The question gave me a headache, so I picked up one of my books and buried myself in it for the next hour or so, forcing myself to concentrate on every word. I lost myself into someone else's drama for a while, someone else's life, with Loki's power-centered thoughts lingered in the back of mine all the while. The silence between us was not uncomfortable; we were used to being silent around each other, as we could not talk at all hours of the day.
After a while, however, JARVIS' voice came over the intercom of my new room, indicating the end of the Avengers' silence; and the time in which they had been ignoring us. "Miss Natalie, Mr. Stark wishes for me to inform you that the Avengers will be meeting in the conference room on floor twenty-three. He wishes for you to attend and has asked that you 'bring Blitzen with you'."
I gave the ceiling a look. That reindeer joke was not as new as Stark liked to think it was. "Tell Tin Face that we'll be up in a minute," I said as Loki's eyes opened. A very faint glow in the back of his black pupils sparked, then died down as he looked up at me, then slowly rose from his position on the ground, standing. He casually brushed himself off, falling into step beside me as I walked out the door.
We traveled via elevator again; this time, Loki did not react in the slightest to the machine's movement, merely standing beside me with a smooth expression. Anxiety had suddenly flared up in me as I realized what, exactly, this meeting would entail. The Avengers wanted information. Loki would have to give it to them; without giving away everything. If he told them everything, it was just possible that the Avengers might send him back off to prison, no matter our deal. My brain started whirring. I was fairly certain that, if that sort of thing did occur, then Thor would back me up; he would not wish to see his friends go back on a promise they made to his brother. And the Captain would probably be on my side, too; he'd agreed with this. He wasn't going to go back on his word.
I tugged my sleeve down over the Key nervously, then stopped as Loki glanced in my direction with great disapproval. If I messed with it too much, then the Avengers would know that something was up. I let my hand fall to my side unwillingly as the elevator doors dinged open.
I lead Loki to the conference room, and quickly realized that we were the last to arrive; or perhaps the last to be informed. That would make sense. They'd want to get everyone together before Loki got involved…
The whole conference room was really nothing but a big holo-table surrounded by a bunch of chairs; but though everyone was circled around it, no one was sitting down. Well, no one but Tony, who seemed to be sitting out of pure spite, his feet kicked up on the edge of the table, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded. I imagined him falling and had the sudden, inexplicable urge to actually laugh out loud. Thankfully, I kept a tight lid on that, giving them all a quick mock-salute as I entered.
"Natalie Frost, reporting for duty," I couldn't resist saying. "And oh, look. It's Blitzen. Because that joke isn't old at all."
Loki looked in my direction in that all-mortals-must-be-like-this way of his before turning to the others, holding his hands behind his back as he studied them all. They studied him back, and for a very long time, no one said a word. The silence hung in the air, lingering like cigarette smoke, poisonous and hostile. Tony tapped his fingers on the table. Natasha and Clint shared quiet stares, looking back to Loki. Thor ran his fingers over Mjolnir's edge.
Finally, I cleared my throat. "Well. This is sufficiently awkward." I pulled out a chair, twirling it around on one leg so that I could sit on it backwards. "Are we gonna get this meeting started, or are we just going to stare at Loki until Fraye comes and murders us all?"
Say what you like about my less-than-tactful methods, but at least they're effective. Slowly, surely, one by one, the Avengers took their seats; starting with Banner, then Steve and Thor, followed after a lingering moment by Natasha and Clint. Loki took a seat at my side, folding his hands on the table in front of him. Of everyone there, he seemed the most at ease with his surroundings; definitely a contradiction to the circumstances.
But still, no one said a word. Sheesh, was I going to have to orchestrate this whole thing? Because if so, then the world was in some serious trouble, let me tell you. Natalie Frost is not the most decent leader/organizer/whatever.
Thankfully, that did not happen. Instead, Steve took control for me; he cleared his throat, looking around to the other Avengers. "Natalie's right. We're here about Fraye." He shot a pointed glance to Loki. "And no one else."
Loki sighed through his nose. "Contrary to popular opinion, I am here to help you." He reminded everyone. Giving every single Avenger, and then me, a look in turn, he added, "Fraye is as much my enemy as she is yours."
Tony made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat, but he pulled his legs off the table and sat upright, paying more attention. "So what's her deal, anyway? Who… What is she?"
In truth, Loki had no idea what Fraye was; not really, not by name, not by species… But of course, he handled things perfectly; and a lot better than I would have. He knew how to manipulate the conversation. He pressed his fingertips together, his eyes becoming a little more focused.
"Fraye is… an enigma. No one is entirely certain of her origins, nor if she is the only one of her kind in existence. However…" The little smirk had diminished, but he still held himself with a great deal of power, royalty… And I suddenly saw all eyes glued on him. One thing Loki had down; the Silver Tongue. "I know what she is capable of." He glanced around at everyone. "Shadow Manipulation is but one of her abilities. Fraye is also a telepath by nature; and, given the amount of time she spent here, it is likely that she already knows every one of your strengths and weaknesses. Both physical," his eyes turned hard. "And emotional."
I pretended to react to that, as though I wasn't already aware of everything that Loki knew, of every one of Fraye's abilities. I scowled. "Another one?" I grumbled, folding my arms over my chest, muttering to myself. "Sheesh. Can't have one freaking bad guy who doesn't know your every private thought…"
Loki gave me a patronizing little smile as I kept mumbling. Clint seemed very much in agreement of me, his fingers slowly running up and down the string of his bow. He, too, knew what it was like, to have your every private moment ripped from your brain, to have your mind seriously messed with by some idiot with a power complex.
"There is, however, nothing to suggest that she can use this telepathy to control others," Loki went on, addressing everyone once again. It was pretty impressive, the way he was suddenly running things, the way everyone was listening… they might not have liked it, but they were listening. That had to count for something.
"And even if she could," I found myself saying, my eyes darting about, as though I was linking up with Loki's thoughts, or perhaps considering my own. I shook my head slowly. "That really doesn't seem her style."
The Avengers all gave me looks; some questioning, some suspicious… I blew it off. "Don't tell me you didn't notice." I looked around, then ran a hand down my face at the sight of their blank looks. "I swear, non-shrinks will be the death of me… Ok. Just think about it. Think about the way she came to us. She acted like a helpless little girl. Which, obviously, she isn't." I waved my hands about. "But if she wanted to control us via telepathy, then why go through all that trouble? And then the way she attacked us, the way she laughed… This is all one big game to her. And a game is no fun if you're just playing with puppets; she doesn't want mind-controlled zombies. She wants people who react, who fight back."
Barton gave me a look. "You've given this a lot of thought."
Loki did not visibly stiffen, but his thoughts coiled around mine, warning me to watch what I said… but I recovered very quickly, making my eyes into flint. "She toyed with my emotions. With everyone's emotions. She made us love her, then turned around and stabbed us in the back." My voice was sharp as a razor's edge as I said, "I'm not going to let her get away with that."
The others seemed to accept that. They were used to me getting abnormally angry about things, and used to me plotting against the things that I got angry with. I cracked my knuckles.
"Besides," I added, a little more relaxed. "Criminal psychology is kinda my thing," I jabbed a thumb towards Loki as I said this, which got me a few thankfully-good-natured eye rolls. They all knew the truth of that one. Loki did not look offended; but merely studied me for a brief moment. I had my own way of maneuvering conversations, thank you very much.
"So how long do you think she's going to try and drag this out?" Steve asked me. I shrugged, but Loki answered.
"As long as she can," his voice was suddenly very grave, and I felt a trickle of ice run down my back, goose bumps rising down my arms. Yeah. He would know. I thought of the scars on his arms and was suddenly tempted to reach out and squeeze his hand or something… but that was not something the Avengers would take well, so I tugged my sleeve down instead. "And she is very likely to keep her attention focused on those she believes to be the planet's protectors; which, for now, includes only the people in this room." Everyone seemed uncomfortable with the fact that he was including himself in this, so I cleared my throat.
"Even if she hasn't seen Loki yet, she will," I pointed out. "And if he stands beside us, then she will view him as one of us." I frowned suddenly. "Then again…" I looked to Loki. "If she is telepathic, then that means she already knows about you. And you said she beat you before…" I thought for a long moment. A majority of the Avengers were looking at me, confused, but Loki, Tony and Natasha all seemed to be on the same page that I was. I ignored the others. "And if she met you before… then she knows how you think. And she might have already figured out that you would want to fight with us."
The others were still looking confused, even as Loki nodded slowly. "It is possible," he answered. "She may even try to focus majority of this fight on me; considering the nature of our agreement, not to mention our…" he hesitated, lingering over the word for a second, then smiled lightly, "History." He finished diplomatically.
That was something I hadn't thought of before. I frowned, my hand going to my face automatically, my chin resting on my thumb as my index finger rested beneath my lower lip. "Divide and conquer," I said, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "Attack the weakest link of the group… no offense, but relationship-wise, that definitely falls to you. If she can break the team apart like that, then-"
"Um, Natalie?" Steve asked suddenly, but tentatively, cutting me off-mid-sentence. I looked to him. "What, exactly, are you saying?"
My eyebrows furrowed. I thought it was pretty clear, myself; and nothing I'd said was all that suspicious. I ran over the words in my head… maybe the word 'team' had gotten him ticked off, particularly since I was discussing Loki as I said it… I looked to him. "Well, we are a team. No one likes it, but that's kinda what we have to be right now…"
"No, literally." Clint joined in."What the hellwere you saying?" He looked back and forth between me and Loki. "Not everyone here is bilingual, you two."
Now I was even more confused. "What? Whadaya mean, bilingual?"
"You were speaking Spanish," Natasha informed me casually; she didn't seem to have much of a problem with it, but then, she was fluent in, um, everything. Damn spy.
"What?" I repeated dumbly, looking to her. "No I wasn't."
"Yes, you were," Clint insisted.
"You both were," Steve concurred, looking from me to Loki and back again.
"I didn't even know he spoke Spanish," Tony muttered, more to himself than anyone else. I scowled.
"Were we?" I asked, looking to Loki. He half-shrugged mildly, but he too, looked very slightly unnerved by this sudden turn of events. I'd been known to switch to Spanish on occasion; when I thought that a Spanish word explained something better than its English equivalent, or when I couldn't think of the correct English phrase… People got annoyed at me all the time for it. And I do mean all the time. The only people I could do that with and get away with it was people who spoke the same languages I did; namely my mother, my father, Tony and Natasha. Even April used to have a problem with it.
But… now that I thought about it… Loki had never corrected me, had never asked me to explain. Not once. Not ever. I thought back to all of our little 'therapy' sessions, to all the hundreds of times that I must have done that over the past year… And, now that I thought about it, he'd actually replied quite a few times in Spanish as well…
"Sorry about that," I said uncomfortably, shifting sideways in my chair, subconsciously moving to its edge, as far from Loki as possible. "That… happens, I guess." I frowned. And now I was wondering; how did he know Spanish? I supposed he must have learned it from me; but the very fact that this has slipped not only my notice, but his as well… that was a little discombobulating.
"But what were you saying?" Clint prodded, looking slightly irritated. Natasha translated for us quickly.
"They were discussing the fact that Fraye met Loki before; and if she noticed that he was in Natalie's mind, then she may have already reached the conclusion that he is working with us." She said that very tonelessly, professionally… keeping her personal feelings in check. Loki and I both made note of her control over her emotions as she went on, "And if this is the case, then they feel that she may try and use our hostility towards Loki against us. Divide and conquer."
Wow. She said that even better then we did. Quicker, more succinct. To the point. That was the life of a spy, the way that an assassin spoke… And then there was me, the psychiatrist… who poked and prodded and probed at everything… and then Loki, the liar, whose sole purpose was to take every fact and cloud it with his words, to twist and turn it until it was unrecognizable, inconsolable with the truth. I shook the musings out of my mind; I was thinking too much again.
"Makes sense," Clint admitted, a bit grudgingly. "But what about her abilities, her weaknesses? What do we know about those?"
Again, as no one here actually knew anything about Fraye, all eyes turned to Loki. He thought that over for a moment.
"Her ability is very powerful; the shadow control alone is enough to break a world." The ever-present smile diminished, his lip tugging downwards for a brief second. "When the shadows strike, they become solidified; and thus they can be stopped. It is possible to defend yourself against them. But prior to this, they are… insubstantial."
"Yeah, we saw that," Clint cut him off. "Get to the point."
As Loki stiffened a little, fighting the urge to tell him to be patient, I decided to be a little less polite. "Hey, Clint?" He looked to me. "Shut up!" As all eyes focused on me, I turned to the Trickster, snapping, "Loki, continue!"
He did not acknowledge my words out loud; nor did he say anything in our minds. Instead, after a second's pause, he carried on as though no one had spoken. "As you have seen, she also works with Shadow Hounds; though no one knows whether they are another extension of herself, her shadows, or whether they are living creatures in and of themselves."
"And how does that matter?" Steve asked, not unkindly. He was actually, genuinely curious. I explained for Loki.
"If they're a part of her," I said, thinking it over and coming to my own conclusions as I spoke. "Then their fighting style will directly correlate with hers. Their actions will become more predictable. If they are not, then they will each be separate. Unique."
Loki nodded once, recognizing the truth in my words but not saying anything about them. He went on. "As for the Shadows' weaknesses… there are legends of Light occasionally injuring the Hounds, making the Shadows partially lose form… but in the time that I have known of her, I have only seen this happen once."
His gaze slid over to me; and slowly, one by one, so did the Avengers'. I lifted both eyebrows. "What, me?"
Again, he nodded. "Your 'glow'. It was… mildly effective."
"Mildly is right," I said, incredulous. "I mean, if that's all we've got to fight these things, then we've got some serious problems. It hurt one of the Hounds for what, a second? Maybe less?"
"If it was just light, then the repulsors would've had a bigger effect," Tony interjected suddenly. "They're not solely light-based, but they're pretty bright. It should have done something to her. Hell, the sun should have done something to her."
Loki looked to him. "Correct. And yet, it does not."
"So what you're saying is, you have nothing," Clint said, his eyes like steel. I gave him a glare, but he ignored me. "All of this… for nothing. Worthless."
Loki turned his unimpressed gaze first to the archer, and then to Bruce. "Doctor Banner?"
Bruce, like usual, had been pretty quiet throughout the meeting; but now he looked to Loki, vaguely surprised. "Yes?"
"Fraye injured you, correct?" Loki's eyes glinted, that old twinkle that I was starting to get very used to. But his face remained passive. "The wound remained when you returned to … this form?"
"Yeah," Banner answered, a bit bemused. Loki slowly rose from his seated position, crossing over to Bruce's side of the room with a few quick, succinct steps. As far as I could tell, only I noticed how he tensed very slightly as he walked up next to the other man. Loki still did not seem to know what to make of Banner; he'd once thought he'd had him pegged, but since Loki's first-and so far only- encounter with the Hulk, his opinion on the man had changed. Drastically. Now, he was no longer sure what to think.
Loki held out a hand. "May I…?" he asked, in a tone that made you believe for only a second that you had a choice in the matter. There was so much self-importance packed into those two little words… how someone asking permission to do something could still sound so freaking regal was beyond me…
Still, Bruce was never really the type of person to be intimidated by that. Or by anything. He glanced to me. My eyes narrowed a little in concentration as I looked to see where Loki was going with this… then I nodded slowly, understanding.
"It's cool, Bruce." I told him; the other Avengers, whose eyes had been locked solely on Loki and Banner, now briefly looked to me as I spoke up.
Bruce contemplated for a second, but then seemed to decide that he trusted me, if not Loki; and really, in the end, I'm pretty sure everyone at that table would have loved to see Loki try something. As calm and composed as ever, Bruce stood; he pulled his shirt off quickly, followed by the bandages, while Loki waited patiently beside him.
I winced as Bruce removed the white gauze that had swamped the wound; it was a little higher on his shoulder than it had been on the Hulk, and thankfully a little shorter… but it was a lot deeper than I thought it'd be, and a little too close to his neck for my liking. Bruce frowned as he looked at the gash that sliced down his shoulder and onto his chest; it looked much worse then it had earlier, the edges looking almost… burnt. As though it had been a white-hot blade, not a shadow, that had cut into him.
Around me, everyone reacted differently; but all with frowns and soft mutters, questioning looks and raised eyebrows. It had obviously not looked that bad earlier; and I could see a very faint tinge of black, lingering on the edges of the injury.
Loki, on the other hand, seemed unsurprised, and unimpressed. I knew why. He was a little too used to injuries like this. He'd seen them many times before… a flash of the scars on his arms danced before my eyes and I was forced to look away. I hated her. I truly, deeply, honestly despised Fraye.
The Trickster placed his fingers at the very tip of the cut, the end closest to Bruce's shoulder. He closed his eyes, focusing… I felt magic in his fingertips, a flow of energy… not like Thor's crackling, electric lightning, but more subtle, flowing like water…
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen; though I could feel it, buzzing in the base of my skull; the feeling that he was drawing something out, pulling out the poison from the wound…
And then it became visible; Banner gasped very softly in pain as a thin tendril of shadow began to remove itself from the gash. It drifted towards Loki's fingers in faint, curling wisps; like the trailing smoke of a cigarette. The shadow wrapped itself around Loki's fingers, his wrist… he pulled his hand back, away from Bruce, and held it up to his eye level, studying the smoking darkness.
I glanced to the injury; Banner was carefully prodding it, testing it… it no longer seemed to hurt him so badly, and the blackened edges had vanished. Loki turned to Clint, smirking again, and closed his fingers with a flourish; the shadow, crushed beneath them, vanished into nothingness.
"I would not say," He told Clint in an even tone, "That I have nothing, Barton. Nor that I am without worth." He took a few casual, leisurely steps back to his seat and lowered himself into the chair beside me once again.
I couldn't help myself. Following Loki's little display was a silence that I just could not allow to rest. Grinning, I questioned Clint, "Well. You want some Aloe Vera for that burn?"
He gave me a look as Steve cleared his throat and looked down, hiding a tiny smile. Tony actually snorted. Natasha took Clint's hand carefully. Bruce put his shirt back on, forgoing the bandages.
"If left untreated, and if they are deep enough, then all Shadow Wounds will become infected," Loki noted, bringing us back to the conversation at hand. As usual, he did not thank me for my support. As usual, I did not expect him to. "And while this usually will not kill, it can cause crippling pain. It is a part of Fraye's power."
I shook my head slowly. "Man. Bitch is just loaded with weapons." The others gave me a look. "What? She is." I frowned a little. That was another thing that had been bugging me.
"And that's something else I don't get," I said, deciding in a split-second to voice my problem out loud. "Fraye is obviously extremely powerful. I mean, she fights with these crazy shadows, she's a freaking telepath, and if she gives you a scratch, you're in pain for the rest of your life." I shook my head out, my hair whipping against my cheeks a few times. "I don't get it. She has all of this crazy power… so why does she feel the need to use it in the way she does? Why does she have to destroy worlds? You'd think that something like that would be beneath her. That she wouldn't care; it'd just be wasting her time."
Natasha shrugged. "Why does anyone? All species seek destruction on occasion." I was very impressed by the way that she managed to not look at Loki as she said this. "Why do they destroy things?"
I frowned. Well, I had a very obvious answer for that one; but no one here was going to like it. "Because they've been hurt," I responded.
Beside me, Loki sighed. Knowing full well where this was going, he buried his face in one hand. "Not this again, Frost."
I turned to him, affronted. "What? It's a legit observation."
"Fraye is not something to be reasoned with," He emphasized, turning to face me; the two of us were suddenly tuning out the rest of the room, focusing solely on each other. "There is no motive to her. She simply is."
I don't believe that. I said, barely aware that I had switched to my mental voice. Loki frowned. Loki, she said so herself. She does have a reason for this. She is the way she is because something made her that way.
She was lying to you, he said easily; that conclusion was so natural for him.
I don't think she was.
Honestly, Frost. This is getting ridiculous.
Look. You didn't do it for no reason. I've never met anyone who doesn't do the things they do without a purpose.
Monsters are frequently born into this universe, Frost. And they remain monsters, regardless of their past. Fraye is no different.
I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that.
Why? His mental voice was still very calm and aloof. Because it means there is no hope for you?
I gave him a death glare and almost retorted, when Tony's voice cut me off. "Ok, that is even creepier when he is actually here. Seriously, Nat. Make it stop. Now."
I looked to him, surprised; he went on, "You know, there are other people here besides just you two."
I glanced to the other Avengers, who were all watching us with a variety of different expressions. My cheeks went hot; as did my ears. I slouched back in my seat, glaring daggers at Loki as I folded my arms over my chest. "Sorry," I growled. "Force of habit."
Loki gave a tired, slightly exasperated sigh and actually looked to his brother in a how-do-you-stand-these-mortals sort of way; until, of course, he remembered exactly who he was and glanced away in haughty disdain. Not, of course, before my Shrink Sense went wild, looking between the two of them. I was going to have a field day with that one later. And he knew it, too.
Thor, on the other hand, had pain in his eyes as he watched the meeting continue. For just a second, he'd had his brother back… but only for a second. And then Loki's scorn had reminded him what, exactly, the two now were to each other.
And it broke my heart.
Seriously. Looking at Thor… I didn't know how anyone could actually, purposely try to hurt him. It was like boiling a puppy; you just didn't do that. It took a certain kind of evil, a particular kind of malignance to do something that depraved… and yet, I knew Loki's reasons. I knew why he did it, I knew his every thought on the matter…
And they were all stupid. Seriously. Get a grip. And a life. And quite possibly a girlfriend. All this crap about jealousy was just… pointless. I'd have given anything to have a brother like Thor when I was younger, and that hadn't changed as I grew up. Why couldn't Loki see that his brother cared about him? Why couldn't he admit for even a second that hecared back?
Just hug it the frack out already.
Loki, however, ignored this line of thinking and kept his focus on the matter at hand as I continued to give him my best death glares. I was still mad at him for what he'd said in our little mental conversation, but he ignored me very pointedly. I saw Banner watching us with a faint hint of amusement; Loki and I had pretty much fluctuated between agreeing wholeheartedly with each other and wanting to rip each other's throats out throughout the entire meeting. But then, that was what we always did. What was normal for us was entirely new for the Avengers.
"Despite Miss Frost's persistent arguments to the contrary, I do not believe that it is worthwhile to try and understand Fraye's motives." Loki addressed the others. "Of course, you may reach your own conclusions on the subject," he added condescendingly; as though any conclusions other than his own were really not worth his time, but he was being forced to say it anyway.
I made 'blah blah blah' hand motions for a moment, then stuck my tongue out him. Because I'm very mature. "There's a purpose for everyone. Even her."
"So sayeth the shrink," Tony pronounced. A few smiles spread across the table; even Thor chuckled a little, quietly. Loki temporarily went along with their good humor, rolling his eyes, playing just slightly on his own exasperation.
The meeting carried on in this matter for a long time: with me and Loki constantly torn between arguing and agreeing… the Avengers sometimes seeming fairly at ease with the situation and at other times tensing up… Loki, sometimes being tolerable, and sometimes being downright obnoxious. But, by the time it was finished, the Avengers had a majority of what they needed; a fair knowledge of Fraye's abilities, and assurance that Loki was definitely going to do his part in this. It was decided that we'd all train the next day-something I wasn't looking forward to, considering that we'd have to give Loki a weapon to train with- and we dispersed, with everyone giving the Trickster lingering, slightly anxious stares. A part of me knew that the training was necessary, that Loki would do a lot better with actually showing them how to fight her… but still, the others were not going to be happy if he started giving orders.
But it was a lot more urgent then the others realized, that Loki trained with them; they were all used to working as a team, all knew the others' battle strategies like the back of their hands… and then you throw Loki and I into the mix… not to mention, given the nature of our link and the way we fought together… We'd never actually fought side by side, had no idea how we would react around each other… Ugh. Headache. I pushed the thought aside.
As everyone left the meeting, I noticed that most people did not say a single word to either me or Loki; though Thor placed a hand on his brother's back for a second, as though in silent communication of his pride that he was finally doing the right thing… but Loki ignored this, walking with purposeful steps back to his room; this time, I was the one following, tagging along behind him.
"Pizza Girl," Tony stopped me; I turned. "Don't let him out of your sight."
I gave a two-fingered salute and ran off.
"You realize that you'll have to tell them eventually."
Loki lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, his eyes finding nonexistent patterns without really thinking about it. "I see no reason for it."
I was lying down on the floor next to his bed, in his room, my eyes tracing those same patterns… an open book lay on its pages on my stomach, from where I'd set it down just moments earlier. My hands were tucked behind my head. "If you don't tell them, then you'll have to face it yourself. Work against it. Become immune."
Loki closed his eyes, his hands folded loosely over his stomach; despite the severity of what we were discussing, neither of us were speaking with much emotion; it seemed casual, as though we were discussing the weather… but, if it were truly something so flippant, then we would not currently be shielded from both JARVIS' and Heimdal's watchful eyes.
I turned to him, propping myself up on my elbow, trying to see him over the mattress that towered above me. My book slid off of my stomach and onto the floor, making me lose my page, but I didn't really care so much. "I'm serious, Loki."
"Hmm."
"Hmm? What the frick does 'hmm' mean?"
"It means that you have a rather irritating voice, even for a mortal. And yet you insist on using it."
I scowled, then allowed myself to drop back down, flat onto my back again. "Look, I'm just saying. After that stunt during her first attack, the Avengers are going to be a little on the suspicious side."
He did not need to ask what incident I was referring to; he knew exactly what I was talking about. The Avengers had not bothered me too badly about how I'd suddenly dropped to my knees while the Hulk and Fraye had been going at it; they knew nothing of what had happened, nothing of how Loki's fear had reached that crippling level…
"It's not the best of ideas for someone who is afraid of the dark to fight with someone who controls it. Especially if you don't want your allies to know about it."
He sighed through his nose. "And what would you suggest?" he asked coolly, his eyes still closed.
I shrugged, still looking up at the ceiling. For a long moment, neither of us said a word… then, finally, I sighed. "I'll keep it secret for as long as you want me to. But if that's the case, then you're going to have to face it. And I mean face it; no holds barred, turn-all-the-lights-off-and-sit-there-for-hours-at -a-time kind of facing it." I frowned. "Maybe you could try training in the dark, too. On your own, though, in case you lose it again."
"Ever the psychiatrist," he mused, though not unkindly. He raised his hand up to his head, his eyes opening again as he surveyed the thin band of Celtic knots that looped around his wrist. "And what of your fears, Miss Frost? Do you believe that you should face them as well?"
"I'm not afraid of anything but needles. And spiders." I found myself toying with the Key on my wrist as well; when my fingers passed over it, it shimmered softly, and Loki's did the same.
"And yourself."
"Well, that's kind of a given."
He chuckled softly, setting his hand back down on his chest… I could see his green eyes, distant, thoughtful… Always thinking. Always planning. How could someone do that all the time? The constant scheming, the constant lies… it must be so exhausting…
He turned his head to the side, looking down to me, lying on the floor beside him. "It does not matter what you fear, Natalie," he said after a moment; I tensed a little. It was rare that the Trickster used my first name without tacking my last one onto it as well. "Fraye will use it against you."
I looked back up at him, meeting his emerald gaze. "All the more reason to become fearless."
He smiled softly. "No one is fearless. Anyone who believes otherwise is a fool."
I threw up my hands. "Fine. We won't even try then. Let's just wait until she comes and snaps our minds, then slits our throats, I am perfectly ok with that."
He didn't even blink. We were way too used to each other. "I did not negate your suggestion." He turned back to the ceiling, his voice hushed. "You are correct. If the Avengers are to be kept ignorant of this, then it must be addressed." He gave me a little sideways glance and half-smile. "For once, it seems, your penchant for psychology may be of some use."
"For once?"
He chuckled again, closing his eyes. I glanced to the window; outside, the sun had long set, the stars high in the sky, the moon a tired disk of silver in the blackness. It was already pretty late; I found myself stifling a yawn. I didn't want to go to bed; mostly because I didn't want to have to wake up tomorrow morning with all of this stuff hanging over my head. Training, training, and more training. Fun. Battle training with the Avengers and Loki all in one room, then Loki in a room without any light, training him to face his own fears… tomorrow was going to be ugly.
I sighed heavily and pushed myself up off the ground, sitting upright and taking my book with me. "I'm gonna go grab one of the Avengers, see which one wants to stand guard tonight or whatever." I headed towards the light switch and frowned. Loki had always had that grey light in his prison; he'd never really had the option of turning it on or off. It always stayed the way it was; after all, if it really meant so much to him that he sleep in darkness, well, there was darkness all around. So really, it wouldn't have seemed like such a big deal that he slept under the light…
But here, it was a different story. I frowned. It had been a bit of a long day; and Loki's first day as a semi-free man. I doubted he'd have the strength to sit in the dark until he fell asleep, to keep himself in the shadows… but if one of the Avengers guarded him, then that was exactly what he'd have to do. If he still wanted to keep this fear secret, then he'd have to play that part.
I sighed. I felt bad for the guy, I really did, but what else could I do? We couldn't exactly give the Norse god of Mischief a night-light.
Loki did not move as I flicked off the light switch. "Buenas noches." I said, a little warily, heading out the door. I was getting ready to ask JARVIS to relay a message to all the Tower's occupants, asking who'd be on watch tonight, stepping out the door, when Loki's voice stopped me.
"Miss Frost…?"
I halted, turning back to him. Despite the sliver of yellow light that came from the door that I was exiting out of, Loki's face was shadowed, hidden in the gloom. "Yeah?" I asked.
He didn't answer. He didn't seem to know how to phrase his question; hell, he didn't seem to know what his question was. I stood there for a moment, waiting in the doorway… and then I smiled carefully. Before Loki could say a word, before he could even get his thoughts straight, I laughed softly.
"Why not," I said, not unkindly, then ducked out of the room. I headed to my own, keyed in the password quickly, yanked my blanket off the bed and looked up to the ceiling.
"JARVIS, tell the Avengers that I've got first watch on Loki tonight."
"Of course, Miss Natalie," the computer's obnoxiously accented voice answered me, always so polite. I dragged my blanket behind me as I left my room and went back into Loki's.
I spread the blanket out on the floor next to the door, sat down cross-legged, and closed my eyes. Loki was slightly confused by my actions, but he did not question me as I focused, turning my thoughts inwards, letting a single emotion take control of me…
A glow spread across my skin; very faint, at first, but soon a great deal brighter, casting dim shadows across the entire room. I grinned at Loki, whose face I could now see; he was watching me with the same amusement that people get on their face when they see a cat playing with a piece of yarn.
"Natalie Frost. Superhero Psychiatrist, Honorary Avenger, Keeper of Loki Laufeyson, and part-time Night Light," I announced. Loki continued to watch me, that condescending amusement still sparking in his eyes.
Finally, he turned away from me, onto his side. "You are strange," he noted, closing his eyes. I smiled to myself and lay down on my blanket, tucking my arm under my head. I kept my eyes open, watching him; because, after all, that was what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.
I sat in the darkness for a long time, keeping the glow flared as Loki's breathing slowly evened out… I waited as his thoughts grew less and less coherent, blurring into nonsense as sleep slowly overtook him; and, eventually, his thoughts descended into dreams.
A number of hours passed, by which time I was totally exhausted. But I stayed up, stayed awake, even though I knew that I had no reason to worry. Loki had no plans to escape; had no need to escape. Right now, the Avengers were his best chance for survival; why would he run away from that?
I ended up sitting up again in an effort to keep myself awake… but even then I slowly began to nod off. I think I dozed for an hour or so when the door opened again; everyone knew the key code to Loki's room, for safety reasons. I looked up, startled awake by the sudden movement in the dark, and snuffed the glow quickly. Thankfully, I could still see who it was by the light that streamed in through the hall; Thor.
I smiled at him, stood, and picked my blanket up off the floor. Tossing it over my shoulder, I ducked out into the hallway, and Thor closed the door behind me.
"He's fast asleep," I informed the Thunderer. "Passed out a few hours ago."
He nodded. "Thank you, Natalie." Unlike most everyone else on Asgard, Thor had stopped calling me 'Lady Frost' a long while back; it was a little too weird, having us refer to each other by our 'proper' titles. I should probably have called him 'Prince' or something, but really, in the end, the two of us were like family. That was mostly Loki's fault, but still.
"No probs," I answered easily, glancing back to the door. I was totally exhausted; all I wanted to do was drag my blanket into the next room and collapse on the bed. But Thor looked as though he wanted to say something, so I stayed where I was.
Thor glanced to the Key on my wrist; reflexively, I hid it behind myself… but then relaxed when I remembered who I was speaking to. Thor already knew about it. Already knew everything about it. "My father chose wisely. You are a great Keeper."
"So everyone says," I muttered uncomfortably. At Thor's questioning look, I sighed. "Look, I've gotta get some sleep. It's been a really long day." I looked him in the eye. "Was there something else you needed?"
He shook his head, and I turned away, walking off, relieved… but the he stopped me. "Natalie?"
I turned. Thor was not looking at me, not anymore; his eyes were glued to the door where, just beyond, Loki was fast asleep. "Yeah?"
"What did Fraye do to him?"
I stiffened; the hair on the back of my neck went straight up. "What do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance… but of course he saw right through me. As he turned his piercing gaze to me, I knew that could not be denied.
"I believe you know," he said, his voice lowering. Goose bumps rose up on my arms and legs. "You know my brother as well as I do; indeed, perhaps even more so." His eyes stayed on mine, unrelenting. "A simple defeat would not be enough to force him to ask sanctuary from his enemies. For him to fight beside them." His blue eyes burned with electric ice. "So what did she do to him?"
I found that I could not meet his gaze any longer; my eyes darted to the ground and stayed there, zeroing in on a particularly interesting section of the carpet. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. I knew the obvious answer. I knew what I wanted to say.
She made him afraid.
It was the worst thing that she could have done to him… and yet, I knew that I could not say a word of it. "Thor, I… I don't know what to tell you. She beat him in a fight. That was it."
He fell strangely silent; in fact, he was quiet for so long that I was forced to look up at him; and then immediately wished I hadn't. The look on his face… there was so much pain and betrayal in his eyes… I looked away again, my own eyes stinging. Dammit. Now, not only was I exhausted, but I was also riddled with guilt as well. Freaking wonderful.
My hands tightened in fists as Thor looked away; he turned away from me, and I lowered my head, feeling my hair fall in front of my face as I stared at the ground. "Wait," I called as he turned, stopping him before he could leave. He stopped and brought his gaze back to me, but I did not look up at him, did not glance up from the carpeting.
"I swear to you, Thor," I said slowly. "I swear that I am doing the right thing." I still couldn't look up. Still kept watching the floor. My fists grew ever tighter. "I swear that I am doing the right thing by your brother, and by you."
I finally looked up to him; my vision was a little blurred, my emotions all hectic and crazy due to the lack of sleep. "So please," I begged quietly, my voice a harsh whisper. "Please. If you truly love him, if you are truly his brother…" My mind flashed to the scars, to Fraye's sickening laughter, to the blood that dripped from her hand, that blood which was a lie, the lie that was Loki… I blinked it away.
"Then you will believe me when I say that she merely beat him. That it is only a matter of his pride." My eyes locked on him. I couldn't look away now, even if I tried… Loki's nightmares in the back of my mind were not helping things at all…
"His pride means a great deal to him, after all," I finished, barely audibly; Thor's eyes were no longer so steely, so sharp… his features softened. It was a lie. It was a lie and we both knew it. But it was a necessary lie. And it was all that I could say, all that I could permit myself to say.
I turned my gaze very pointedly to the ceiling after I said this; an indicator that JARVIS was listening. Thor seemed to understand; he nodded a few times, slowly.
"Very well, Natalie," he said after a moment. "I believe you."
I blinked away the moisture in my eyes and turned away, not bothering to say good night, to say goodbye… I simply went to my room, fell onto the bed, and curled up beneath my blanket.
But I did not fall asleep… for as I lay there, trying to surrender to sleep… it refused to claim me, and I was left, alone, in the dark.
And, after a very long time, I walked to the other end of the room, flipped on the light switch, then walked back to my bed.
A/N: So… hmm. Stuff is happening, I guess. *shrugs*
Okay, like I said, this whole story is going to be unforgivably long. Like, think Harry Potter length. Probably longer, even. Why? I don't know, because I really wanted to get a bit more in-depth with the characters, and the progression of everyone's relationships with each other: The Avengers, Natalie, Loki, everyone.
BUT! There are also going to be an enormous amount of pretty Loki-centric scenes. There is a reason that I labeled him as the character in this fic, and a reason that this is called 'The Avenging of Loki Laufeyson'. So, yeah, if I neglect your favorite Avenger… I'm sorry, okay?
So why am I saying all this? Meh, I figured I should let you all know. A bit of a warning for the people who aren't as Loki-crazy as I am (LOKI. WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SENSE. MAKE SENSE FOR ME PLEASE THANK YOU).
And, I think that's all. K, bye!