"What about them?" the Doctor snapped. "What about Beth?"
Colton's silver eyes narrowed on the Doctor's as he stepped near the Doctor. "When I was a lad, I was taught that someday I was going to have to do something drastic. Even if I didn't want to do it no matter how I tried I was going to have to do it regardless. I didn't know what it was but I knew that I couldn't hide from it. Sometimes the worst possible thing to do is the best option there is. Today is that day, Doctor," Colton snapped back at him. "I have to do what is right. Even if that right means I have to kill."
"Is your love of Beth that far behind that you can't see what it's doing to her?" the Doctor scorned him. Colton stopped and chewed on his lips. He adored Beth. He loved her the moment they first met. As much a love story as Frankenstein as his wife, the two would've been inseparable if not for the control rods that kept them from each other. Suffice to say, without Beth, Colton might've turned out far worse than the Doctor imagined. How worse would he have been, it might've changed the narrative to the point where the Doctor was for helping the scientists only.
Colton frowned and looked to the ground. In his heart he was conflicted. His love of Beth and his hatred of the scientists who had taken everything from them, both fighting for permanent control of his heart and soul, no talks could stop them from tearing at each other. In his mind, he was only doing it for Beth. She was afraid. She was afraid that they would be found and brought back and forced into the confines of their chassis once again. And Colton struggled to keep her fears averted.
"If I don't do something, what's going to happen, Doctor?" Colton began as he paced around the room. "If I don't do something, it'll only be a matter of time before the other Hals catch on to what's happening and send their men to hunt us. I can't go back to that life, Doctor. Neither Beth or them deserve that fate again."
"You'll only exacerbate the problem, Frank," the Doctor responded. He watched as Colton stopped in front of him. The Doctor chewed on his lips as he tried to throw sentences together that would help his cause. "If you kill them and it gets out, they'll come after you. This time, there is no escape."
"And if I let the scientists go, who's to say that they won't turn around and point in our direction?" Colton looked at the Doctor for his answer. The Doctor remained calm as he continued to piece together sentences. He replied to Colton with, "They won't. Even they are deeply afraid. They want to go home, Frank. They want to go home and live out their days without fearing retribution from you and the Hals."
"Tell me, Doctor, what would you do in my position?" Colton eyed him. He chewed on his lips as he himself was coming up with sentences. The Doctor chewed on his lips as his eyes lowered to the ground, pondering his response. Colton watched as his eyes rose up to look at him as the Doctor answered. "They have made a mistake. You are right. But that doesn't justify killing them, Frank. Killing them will only make things worse and even you know that. I would let them live," the Doctor paced his words.
Colton sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He stopped and eyed the Doctor. "A man like you, who had lost everything, still willing to forgive those who have hurt you, my, I only wish there were more men like you here," Colton gave a light chuckle.
The Doctor nodded. He had lost a great deal even before he began his adventure some odd years ago. Gallifrey was lost to the Daleks, destroyed. His old friends from there had either died from the Daleks' incursion or had turned against him. The Doctor could never use the TARDIS to turn back the time and change that. It was a set point in time. No matter how he tried, he could not stop the incursion. And yet, somehow, through it the entirely of his life the Doctor managed to work through his grief by surrounding himself with companions. Though they were no Time Lords, those he recognized, the Doctor managed to connect with them to some degree. Alas, the Doctor was forced to realize another mistake.
His companions have been historically human and because of it, they adhered to a different standard from the Time Lords'. They didn't have two hearts like the Doctor. They also didn't live very long, some even managing to live past a hundred years. Unlike the Time Lords' with their thirteen regenerations, humans only had one life.
It might've been a hundred years in the future since their deaths, but even the Doctor couldn't help but remembering when his companions had managed to reach out to him for one final conversation.
Yes, the Doctor was plagued by heavy loses. Some personal and some that affected him even when it shouldn't. Even then, the Doctor still prevailed. How could a man who had lost everything still manage to have a will to go about his days?
Even if the Doctor couldn't catch a break, it didn't necessary mean he couldn't help others. After all, he wouldn't be called the Doctor if he didn't help those that needed it. That was another reason the Doctor first stolen his TARDIS, the red tape that the Time Lords' put in place to stop others from tampering with the fabric of time. The Time Lords' were content in merely observing disasters and other violent events in time. The Doctor sought to stop disasters that could've easily been prevented and stopped violent events that would have everlasting effect in the future.
It wasn't perfect, no. Even the Doctor was caught up in his urge to help. He learned the hard way when he tried to change an event to where everyone lived and the outcome was far worse than when it was before. The only way to get a decent outcome was for everyone but a lone survivor to die.
There was no black and white morality with time. There were several dozen shades of time. The only way for the Doctor to reach an acceptable outcome that wouldn't cause more harm than good was to look through them as shades of grey. Even if he wanted otherwise, the Doctor knew that time is fluid and will not adhere to meddling, good or bad.
In the end of the day, the Doctor was alone. His companions come and go. His enemies ever seem to grow as the years gone by. The only thing to ever remain consistent with the Doctor was his TARDIS.
"Sometimes, the only way to live, is by accepting that there are things you cannot simply change," the Doctor looked at Colton. Colton looked at him back. "I suppose you'd know," Colton nodded. The Doctor did so too. The Doctor gave a deep sigh as he glanced down to where the Subjects were made as he said, "I won't lie. I lost everything once. I was angry, alone, and self-loathing. But then, I came across a person. She didn't know me, of course, but she didn't seem to see me any different. We were being chased by Daleks and I lead her to my TARDIS. When we got there, she was aghast. She said to me, "You live in a phone booth?" and I nodded. We entered and she looked around. She was human, so she never saw one before. She looked at me with her jaw to the floor. After I explained to her what my TARDIS does as we escaped from the Daleks, she said to me, "You must have had adventures!" truthfully, I never had any adventures then. But when I told her that I never used my TARDIS like that, she was confused."
"I suppose it never occurred to you then what the TARDIS meant," Colton gave a nod. The Doctor slowly nodded and continued. "She never heard of the notion. She regaled stories about men and women having adventures using time travel. The thick of it all, they prevailed even when fate has them pressed to the wall. Afterward, suppose it got into my head what I should've been doing all along. I wanted to help people, yes, but then I realized that I'll burn myself out from all the horrors I'd witness. I was going to be in the TARDIS for a long time and even then it'll point me where I should head next. So, I decided on a whim, to have my first adventure. My first adventure with my first companion," the Doctor gave a warm smile.
"So, what happened?" Colton gestured. The Doctor's smile faded and in its place a mournful look took hold as he replied. "We had decades of adventure. But as the years gone by, I realized she wasn't like she used to be. She was getting older, less agile. She couldn't outrun our enemies anymore. I asked her why she couldn't regenerate like I can. She answered, "Because God only gives us one life." The notion! But, as her friend I had to understand. I decided to let her live out her final years somewhere safe. She died two years later of kidney failure. When I came back for the funeral, she willed me a sealed letter. In it, all it said was: Doctor, there will be days when you're angry at yourself. There will be days when you're angry at everyone else. But, never give up."
"My condolences," Colton mustered. The Doctor gave a heavy sigh as he wiped the tears that were forming under his eyes. When he finished he looked at Colton. "Don't become me, Frank. Don't become the person I was then. Arrogant, self-loathing, abhorrent, not able to look pass things even if you should," the Doctor gave a final plea to Colton.