Chapter 25

"I think it might be better," Roger said, "to find somewhere quiet to sit and talk. That's if you want. Only I would like to be concentrating on you, not Swallow. Would you mind if we went back to Wild Cat Island?"

"That would be fine." Rowan said, "Only I shouldn't be too long."

Roger had heard Mrs Dixon telling Rowan to take all the time off she needed. On the other hand, perhaps Rowan was carefully establishing an excuse.

"I'll take you back to the Dixons' just as soon as you say. I can't be too late anyway. Sailing in the dark here would be a mug's game anyway. John might forgive me if I damaged Swallow, but I'm not so sure his daughters would."

The landing place would do well enough. It was Rowan who led the way back to the camp. Whatever her uncertainties were, she was still her confident, competent self underneath it all. He sat down quite close to her on the log bench. She moved just a little closer to him.

Reassured, he thought it was probably safe enough to say, "I went to Trennels."

"When?"

"Yesterday."

She glanced at him swiftly.

"Before I came up here. I started from Benson early. Didn't arrive at Beckfoot until well after the kids had gone to bed."

"You seem to have ridden both far and fast."

If that was a quote, he couldn't place it. "Yes."

"Did you speak to anyone? At h… At Trennels."

"At Trennels? Yes. Your mother. And Mrs Bertie, although she didn't say much. Your mother told me that you'd had a row with your father and given notice."

"That's true – as far as it goes."

Roger tilted his head and looked at Rowan, waiting to see whether she was going to ask or say anything more.

"Charles mentioned that they thought it had something to do with Ann." he added, after a pause.

"It did." Rowan said. "But you said you spoke to mother and Mrs Bertie."

Roger told her about the highway persons. "So I didn't go and ask at Kingscote. I thought I might get Nicola into some sort of trouble."

"Just as well." Rowan said. "The thought of Keith poking around …. She's so unpredictable. All psychology and no rational thought. Ginty's been in shedloads of trouble and she doesn't like Nicola much. It would be pretty rotten if… look here, Ann's not done anything illegal or dishonest. Don't think that. If she'd been less honest … But it's pointless blaming Ann for being Ann."

"You don't have to tell me." Roger said, rather hastily. "Especially if it's Ann's secret."

"Well it is. It would have saved rather a lot of bother if she had kept it secret, but what's done is done. And I suppose I could have kept my mouth shut."

"If I had to choose between John, say, and my parents, I wouldn't necessarily choose my parents." Roger said carefully. "Not that they would. Make me chose, I mean."

"Especially if John was merely being overly scrupulous and your parents were being bigoted fools?"

"Especially. Not that they would. Well John might be overly scrupulous mother was very careful not to say what you had argued about with your father."

"She would be. I'm rather surprised there aren't any "shameful bundle" stories going about. Or perhaps there are but no-one's shared them with Charles and Fob."

"I'm pretty sure there aren't, or Mrs Bertie would have gone for me with the mop good and proper before demanding that I do the decent thing by you, instead of calling me Mr Roger."

"Gosh, she does hold you in high esteem."

"Reflected glory from you, I suspect. If there are sides to be taken, she's not taking the one against you. Rather tight-lipped and frosty she was. I was rather afraid that you'd decided you'd had enough of me and she thought I was making a nuisance of myself." Roger said.

"But didn't you …look, I'd never say that I'd left Trennels just to get rid of you." There was a slight note of hurt in Rowan's voice.

"But you never said you'd… look here, the last letter I'd received was dated the middle of February. Was there another after that?"

"Yes. March. After I'd left. Posted from Keswick."

"It must have missed me then. I suppose it will catch up. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too. I suppose if I'd told you all about it – only I didn't know how to explain without seeming ….It would be quite a lot easier if it wasn't family. Sometimes."

"Look, we're both here now. That bit doesn't matter." Roger squeezed her shoulders gently. By the tension in Rowan's voice maybe this wasn't the moment to kiss her.

"Well it does when the letter catches up. I didn't want to drag you into it, you see. Only now I don't want you to think…" This time Rowan's sentence petered out because she was trying so hard not to weep, rather than because she was reluctant to put what she thought into words.

"If the letter contains my marching orders they're already countermanded?" Roger suggested.

Rowan nodded, pressing her lips together. Roger drew her closer. "Look, I don't know the half of it – and I'd say you were more than entitled to have your cry out."

Rowan, face buried in his shirt nodded as well as she could.