Reference to: 'The First Pitch Insufficiency'

xTBBTx

Penny came into the laundry room to find Sheldon folding his laundry.

"Hey," she said with a little smile and went to a washer. She dumped in her basket of clothes and added soap before starting the machine. Penny then turned to her neighbor. "So how are you doing?"

"Exceptionally well," he replied as he folded a shirt. He paused before raising an eyebrow. "Is this where I respond with an equally banal comment of 'how are you?' or are you expecting me to be more forthcoming?"

"Yup, you're normal," she snorted. Sheldon rolled his eyes and continued working. "Sad to hear about Howard and Bernadette."

"Their hardship is unfortunate but perhaps it was for the best."

"I guess," she sighed. "Funny how I thought they were such a perfect pair."

"Hardly," sniffed Sheldon. "Over the past year I can't recall a single social night where Bernadette hasn't said something particularly invective about Howard." Sheldon set a t-shirt down to regard her. "Besides, the dating website said that Amy and I were perfectly suited and look what happened to us." He shrugged. "Another situation which has worked out for the better and I can honestly say that I've never felt more comfortable with someone on an intimate level as I do with Martha." He resumed folding. "If we're talking about a general sense of comfort, however, Beverly Hofstadter still ranks at the top."

"That's weird," said Penny as she leaned against the washer. "I mean Martha is really different than you and Beverly and Amy."

"Martha and I are not that dissimilar," Sheldon objected. "We both like comic books, plaid, laser tag, science fiction and fantasy books, movies and television shows, chicken fried steak—"

"Yeah but you and Amy were all Counterfactuals and science stuff." He shrugged.

"Amy also assisted Kripke. And she didn't like comic books."

"People make mistakes and have different preferences," Penny said. "That doesn't mean things can't work out between them."

Again Sheldon looked to his neighbor. "Are you suggesting I 'dump' Martha and return to Amy?"

"Of course not! I mean, you seem really happy."

"I am happy. My work is starting to show signs of progress; I have someone to drive me to new comic book night once Leonard moves out."

An uncomfortable feeling began to creep into Penny.

"So as much as you had in common with Amy it wasn't enough," she pressed.

"We had fundamental differences." Sheldon sighed. "I liked Amy well enough. We got along wonderfully when she was my girl/friend but not my girlfriend." He began folding his socks. "Thing changed when we started dating. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was wrong, only that I was occasionally disconcerted and oftentimes confused by what was happening." A slight frown came to his brow. "I was constantly pushed outside of my comfort zone and I found it easier to relent rather than fight."

"You, give in?" Penny scoffed.

"I didn't want to lose her," he shrugged. "She was the best girlfriend I was going to have and I liked being in a relationship." He pursed his lips. "Only now I question what kind of relationship we were in. To her I was a sexy toddler in need of correction. I don't like that. I wasn't infantile before we pairbonded."

"Whatever, Sheldon. You've always been stubborn, cocky and snarky."

He paused in his work to give Penny a stern look.

"I'm a once in a generation intellect, Penny. Of course I'm stubborn, arrogant and condescending, I'm surrounded by lesser minds." Penny rolled her eyes and he returned to his laundry. "I was led to believe that my other interests were juvenile and beneath my intellectual standing and should be replaced with more 'grown up' activities to bring our relationship 'to the next level'." He piled up his socks and started in on his underwear. "In contrast, since Martha and I have so many hobbies in common our extracurricular activities are more enjoyable which makes me more conducive to doing—other things."

"Yeah, I'll bet," Penny smirked. "So the germs don't bother you anymore?"

"No, they still do." Again he shrugged. "I guess a benefit of Amy giving me no choice regarding physical intimacy was that I thought a lot about it. How I could adapt or at least cope with intercourse so as to make it at least somewhat pleasurable."

"And the genius figured it out."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Penny, I'd have to lose fifty IQ points to be a genius."

Although Penny smiled the nagging feeling hadn't disappeared. She watched her friend folding his clothes.

"Sheldon, do you think marrying Leonard is a mistake?" she asked at last. He straightened but said nothing. "Sheldon."

"You already know my feeling on the matter," he said.

Penny frowned. "So if you think this is gonna be a disaster why did you tell Leonard's mom that I was okay?"

"The two ideas are mutually exclusive." He began putting his folded clothes into the laundry basket. "Because I think your marriage to Leonard will be a disaster doesn't mean I don't think you're 'okay'." He glanced at her. "In fact I told Beverly that you were over and above any reasonable expectation Leonard had for a mate."

"But we still won't make it."

"No."

"Why?"

"Penny, when I met you I worried about your disorganization. As we became friends I was concerned about your lack of sufficient funds and adamant adherence to acting even in the face of not having had an acting job in the two years you'd been in California. As the years have gone by my worries have changed. At first it was about you hurting Leonard. Then it was about how much you're drinking. I worried about how I should talk to you since your sarcasm and cynicism have increased to a devastating degree." He frowned. "You frequently tell me to shut up. Granted there are times when I don't 'get it' but not all the time. Now I'm worried that these new patterns will define not only your relationship with Leonard but also how you deal with others."

He folded his folding aid and put it in the basket before turning to Penny.

"Part of the reason why I stayed with Amy was because of you and Leonard," he said.

"What? Why?" Penny asked, floored.

"Because as unorthodox and trying as our relationship was we weren't nearly as 'messed up' as the both of you. Amy and I had a friendship at the foundation. All you had was Leonard pining for you and stealing your mail so he could talk to you."

"I said to Leonard that I was scared that we had nothing in common," Penny said quietly. "He said that we loved each other so things would work out."

"Perhaps." Sheldon took up his basket and went to the door before turning around. "If it means anything I loved Amy and now I can't say I even like her."

He left Penny to her wash.

xTBBTx

Sheldon twitched as he sat in his office chair but kept reading.

He wrinkled his nose.

His lip curled.

He set down his tablet and straightened the stapler on his desk. He returned to reading.

A moment and then he became a flurry of action as he straightened everything on his desk a fraction of an inch here and there with a frown on his face.

A knock at the door and he looked up to see Amy.

"What are you doing at the university?" he asked as he opened his drawer to get his hand sanitizer.

"I'm looking over the results of the experiment I advised on before we submit it for publication," she replied.

"I see." He felt more at ease as he rubbed an inordinate amount of sanitizer into his hands.

"Sheldon, I'd like to talk to you."

"Alright."

As she came into the room he got out of his seat and turned his whiteboard around so she couldn't see his equations.

"I'm not going to steal your work," she said with a slight frown.

"Well there's no point worrying about the cookies if the jar isn't here," he twanged as he returned to his seat.

"Point," Amy conceded. "First of all I'd like to congratulate you on attaining your junior professorship. You're satisfied with your move out of string theory?"

"Very much so. Exploring unfamiliar territory is both daunting and liberating."

"With your staggering intellect and tenacity I know you won't be denied."

"True."

"Additionally, I'd like to again apologize for assisting Kripke. While I admit it did satisfy my intellectual curiosity I should have had more regard for you despite your status as 'not my boyfriend'," Amy said.

"Thank you," Sheldon replied. "I admit this act caused me to re-evaluate my feelings for you in regard to our friendship status"—here his voice lowered—"and other things."

"Sheldon, I was most sincere when I told you I loved you. I just needed you to take our relationship seriously."

"I was serious. I loved you."

"You never treated me like you loved me," Amy said. "You constantly deflected and deflated any attempt on my part to establish emotional intimacy and physical bonding. It was your way or no way and I knew we couldn't continue unless you knew that we were partners."

"But we weren't partners," Sheldon said firmly. "Once we deviated from the relationship agreement we proceeded according to your edicts. Date night clothes and hand-holding and harp sing-a-long nights."

"You kissed me, Sheldon. You said you love me. Of course I wanted more—unless you're telling me none of that meant anything."

"Of course it did," he scowled. "You were my friend and then my girlfriend. One label didn't supersede the other—I thought I was fortunate to have found someone that encompassed both."

"I'd like to rekindle our friendship," Amy said. Sheldon's eyes widened in surprise. "I'd like to prove to you that I truly do value you and am worth your trust." He sat back in his chair.

"I don't know what to say," he said at last.

"It's almost lunch. Let's discuss this, perhaps 'catch up', over a meal," she smiled sweetly. "For old time's sake."

"Alright." Sheldon closed his laptop and got up from his seat. He was almost to the door when he dashed back to his desk and repositioned his phone before exiting.

XXX

Martha: One of my students gave her presentation on John Donne today. She said, and I quote:

Martha: "I noticed that in his poetry he used a lot of the same words. I dunno, maybe they didn't have as many words back then."

scooperphd: I weep for humanity. Or is it the humanities? Bazinga.

Martha: I think part of what makes a good professor is how she keeps a straight face.

scooperphd: In that case Amy would make an astounding professor. In fact she said that there was an opening to teach in Chicago.

Martha: You were talking to Amy?

scooperphd: She dropped by my office today. Apparently she had some findings to go over.

Martha: Apparently. So what did you talk about?

scooperphd: She apologized for aiding Kripke and then took me to lunch in order to discuss the potential of rekindling our friendship.

Martha: And what did you say?

scooperphd: I left things as they are. I found myself hesitant to start over despite her assurances that she'd never betray me again.

Martha: In other words you don't trust her.

scooperphd: I suppose. Although Leonard betrayed me and yet I'm still acquainted with him.

scooperphd: I did enjoy Amy in a friendship capacity.

scooperphd: But then she helped out Kripke. Unforgivable.

Martha: So why did you go out for lunch with her?

scooperphd: It was lunch time. She offered to pay.

scooperphd: Besides I needed closure.

Martha: You get it?

scooperphd: I'm satisfied.

Martha: Good. Well, I've got to turn in. Night.

scooperphd: Goodnight Martha.

Martha shut off her phone with a scowl on her face.

Sheldon put down his phone on his nightstand. He paused but for a moment before turning off the side lamp.

XXX

Amy sighed happily as she lay in bed. Talking with Sheldon rekindled a lot of feelings for her. She'd forgotten how enthralling his presence was. His intellect. Sense of humour. And she made him laugh. Just like old times.

She knew that she needed another reason to see Sheldon at work in order to get him alone. Amy thought about visiting Penny and 'bumping into Sheldon' at the apartment but he'd probably be with her.

Martha, Martha, Martha. Didn't she know that Amy and Sheldon were destiny as if they were scripted to be together on a soap opera? Sure, there were bumps in the road but people like Martha were merely obstacles. Amy and Sheldon were true love.

Amy turned off her light and snuggled with her rice Sheldon.

xTBBTx

"This better be the last load," Leonard sighed tiredly as he flumped into his stuffed chair.

"We can call it the last load and EBay off anything else of yours we find," Tracy replied sweetly from the couch.

"Maybe I'll take a look around," Leonard said and dragged himself off to his room.

Penny and Amy entered the apartment.

"Where's Leonard?" Penny asked.

"Checking over the apartment to see if he left anything," Tracy replied.

"Prudent," said Amy. She cocked her head. "You're the robot girl from the comic book convention."

"Borg. That I am. And you are?"

"Amy Farrah Fowler. Penny's bestie," she said evenly. "I see that Sheldon has managed to surround himself with likeminded females who reinforce his penchant for childhood activities and memorabilia with skin tight body suits and pseudo-alien languages."

Tracy's smile froze. "Pretty much. Not everyone can work wool and polyester so we do what we can."

Leonard came down the hall just as Sheldon, Martha, Dragan, Ron, Kim, Howard and Raj came up the stairs.

"Last stop, Vertiform City," Dragan said cheerily. "Everybody off or rest in peace."

"Thank goodness," sighed Sheldon "Now I can finally give this place a cleaning."

"I can give you a hand," said Amy.

"Uh, actually I need your help," Penny said quickly.

"Yeah, Sheldon and I have this covered," Martha said.

"Besides, I already said I'm staying," added Tracy.

Leonard rested his hand on his chair. "You sure this can't come?"

"Not a chance," snorted Penny.

"No room for it in the truck anyways," said Howard.

"Now are we going to get going so we can have pizza?" said Dragan.

"Better get him fed before he gets cranky," Kim chuckled.

As one, everyone save Martha, Sheldon and Tracy filed out of the room. Tracy closed the door after them.

"Let me go get my box of rubber gloves," said Sheldon and he went to his room.

"Thanks for helping," said Martha to Tracy as she went for a broom. "You guys were terrific."

"We work best when a shipmate is in need," Tracy replied as she sat on the arm of the couch. "And believe me when I say that anything that gets Leonard the hell out of the apartment is worth the effort."

"You really don't like him, do you?"

"Leonard does things for Leonard. He's screwed over a friend of mine and from what I gather he's pulled a few over Sheldon, so keep an eye out."

Martha went behind the couch and began sweeping. "Were you talking with Amy?"

"Penny's friend? A little bit." Tracy shrugged. "Kind of weird."

"Yeah, that was my thought." Pause. "Sheldon and her used to go out."

"Really? That's awkward."

Martha stopped to regard Tracy.

"Awkward is her showing up at the university out of the blue and having lunch with him," she said.

"You know that Sheldon is a little obtuse about things, right?" Tracy said, her tone equally as serious. "Socially he can get things ass-backwards but that doesn't mean he doesn't care."

"I know." Martha smiled grimly. "Guess I better keep my rabbit away from the microwave."

"Martha?" Sheldon called from his bedroom. "Does your latex allergy stem beyond your lady parts to your hands? Because all I seem to have are latex gloves."

Both women chuckled before Martha went off to see her boyfriend.

XXX

"Well, the faster we get this done the faster we can get out of here," Penny said as she mopped her empty living room. "It'll be weird not coming to the building every day."

"But it's not like we won't ever be over again," Amy added hurriedly as she wiped down the walls.

"I guess. But it is Sheldon's place."

"I realize that."

"And, uh, Martha will be there."

"Sheldon and I have already had a talk. We are on our way to resuming our friendship," said Amy evenly even as she dunked her mop head into the wash bucket.

"That's great," Penny said, although inwardly she thought it was anything but. "Still, I'm sure they'll want their space."

"In order to secure their bond," Amy said crisply. "The desire to make a nest is particularly strong in fertile women. I imagine you must be excited now that you and Leonard are about to cohabitate."

"We'll finally be a couple," Penny replied before stopping her mopping. "I mean, not that we aren't a real couple now. It's just that it'll be more final. You know, no backing out."

Amy turned to her. "Backing out?"

"Who said anything about backing out?" Penny scrubbed the floor extra hard. "I mean, sure, couples all have their doubts and stuff—"

"Are you having doubts?"

"Of course not!" Penny rested on her knees before dipping her brush in the wash bucket. "Leonard is a perfectly nice guy. We have a good, boring kind of love but that's okay. I mean I could have done a lot worse."

"And Leonard couldn't have done any better." Amy continued mopping the walls. "Rather balances out when you think about it."

Penny thought about it as she continued to scrub the floor.

She might not be the best at math but even she knew that the numbers were off on the scale.

And as Sheldon said, numbers don't lie.