Author's Note:

Hello everybody and this time you get a longer chapter than the previous ones. The main bit of this story was based off a great section in the game The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess so some of you may recognise the bit I used. Thank you for all your continued support and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

I own nothing.

Sir Bones the Grumpily Soft

A new warp capable race had been recently discovered and the Enterprise was a part of the final talks needed for their admission into the Federation.

The planet was called Saiyani by its inhabitants; they were humanoid like many in the galaxy though they had several differences from other races. Firstly their blood had both copper and iron in it; secondly they were overall more physically built up and stronger than humans and had a slightly longer average lifespan and had the genetic material for odd natural hair colours such as green and blue. Thirdly despite having developed the warp drive they were still very tribal in nature and had never built the cities found on many other planets and had somehow skipped out the industrial age of polluting factories and power. They had also never moved on from archaic weapons such as swords and bows and many preferred travelling by foot or horse instead of the quicker motorised vehicles they had invented. All in all it was a bizarre society of tribes at peace with the others in a world where they all had access to clean power and water but still mainly hunted and foraged for their food with old fashioned weapons and advanced navigation, communication and tracking equipment. They had a central world council of Elders from all over the planet as the main government, though the various tribal chiefs were responsible for day to day decisions the council were in charge of decisions that affected the whole planet such as joining the Federation.

Though all of these were unique aspects of Saiyani culture the biggest one was the gender differences and ratio. Unlike many races, where the male was often biologically stronger in terms of physical strength when compared to the female, Saiyani females where physically stronger and often bigger than the males. Also only one in ten Saiyanies were male, on top of this when a female gives birth to a male child she then becomes infertile and can have no more children. This lead to a largely female society where males were highly regarded and male children are carefully guarded and looked after by many laws and regulations to ensure their wellbeing and protection.

This meant that there had been a few interesting but not detrimental misunderstandings between the crew of the Enterprise and the Saiyanies such as McCoy being mistaken for a women due to his build and size being similar to that of Saiyani women and Nyota had been asked several times if she was Hikaru's mother. Jim and many of the men had been set upon by many of the women who were either mothering or flirting with them and Spock had garnered the expected curiosity of many and found himself being peppered with questions about his people by many of the Saiyani scientists. Pavel had quickly made friends with another boy about his age called Salomi, who was the grandson of one of the Elders, and they had headed off outside.

Things were going smoothly and the agreement was all set and all that was left was the formal signing of the paperwork when disaster struck.

The first they knew was when a panicked comm. from one of the members of Saiyani's security force came through saying that a previously unknown rogue gang were coming. Jim and his crew wasted no time in charging out of the building holding the Council Chambers into the open land around it. The first thing he saw was Salomi and Pavel some way off wondering back slowly, suddenly Jim saw a gang of Saiyanies on horseback charging towards the two unaware teens and he sprinted towards them yelling, "PAVEL, SALOMI, BEHIND YOU!"

The two boys looked up at his shout and quickly looked behind them but the warning had come too late and the gang was upon them. The lead rider was heading straight for Pavel and in the few precious seconds they had Salomi moved and shoulder barged Pavel to the side. Though young and weaker than a Saiyani female, Salomi was still stronger than a human teen and his barge sent Pavel flying clear out of the path of the riders. The ensign could only watch as the lead rider leant down and grabbed Salomi as she passed before veering sharply off away from Pavel and the charging crew and security. The other riders continued on towards them and several were stunned by well placed phaser shots from the Enterprise security team, the others were soon unhorsed and subdued by Saiyani security while some others managed to calm the horses and get them under control. Jim ran to Pavel who was still on the ground where he'd fallen, they'd lost sight of Salomi in the confusion and Jim quickly asked the ensign as he helped him up, "Pavel, what happened to Salomi!?"

The boy pointed at the fast retreating figure of the gang leader, "She took him!"

Jim made to shout to the people behind him but he didn't need to. Bones had heard everything and had jumped on the nearest horse and was off after the kidnapper before anyone could react. Jim related what Pavel had told him as quickly as possible to the rest and soon they had saddled up and shot off in pursuit.

They chased down the other two riders guided by Saiyani tracking technology for miles until they finally caught up with them at a huge gorge spanned by a large narrow bridge. Both ends of the bridge had been blocked and they could see the gang leader on her horse at the far end and behind her was a figure sitting on the ground which Jim guessed was Salomi. At the other end facing her was Bones on his horse, Jim realised what was about to happen and desperately tried to think of a way to help his friend but he had no time as both riders began to charge.

The Saiyanian was armed with some kind of pike and Bones held a long staff which he'd somehow gotten a hold of, they lowered their respective weapons at each other as they charged and Jim and the others could only watch as the joust happened before them. Jim held his breath as the two got closer…and closer…and closer…until his heart leapt to his mouth as the two clashed. The scene seemed to slow as they saw McCoy veer his horse around the Saiyani's at the last minute delivering a stunning blow to his opponents chest as he passed knocking her clean off her horse. There was a loud thud as she hit the bridge walkway behind her and the onlookers gave a huge cheer as Bones' horse triumphantly reared just as the sun broke through the clouds behind them.

Salomi was returned home unharmed and the gang leader was arrested with the rest of her gang and was charged with assault, treason and the most despicable crime of kidnapping a male child. They had apparently been against the Federation and had thought that hostages from both Saiyani and the Federation could be held for ransom to stop the treaty. Their unorganised and poorly thought out plan had actually cemented relations between Saiyani and the Federation and McCoy's part in Salomi's rescue had made him a hero among the Saiyanians along side the other crewmembers of the Enterprise who'd helped.

The end result was a new and valuable member of the Federation and a very happy Admiralty who commended McCoy for 'his honourable, swift and exemplarily action'. The tale spread around the ship and soon some of the crew were hero-worshipping McCoy as much as they hero-worshipped Jim and several newer ensigns continually regarded him with awe.

After all the fuss had died down Jim and Bones were sharing a bottle of bourbon in Jim's cabin. "I have to admit I'm impressed Bones, I did not know you could joust."

Leonard just took another drink from his glass rather than answer Jim so the younger man continued, "I mean it was amazing, you not only saved the day but you did the Saiyani equivalent of saving a damsel in distress on horseback." He then grinned as he was struck by a thought, "We should start calling you Sir Bones the Grumpily Soft."

Bourbon sprayed from the doctor's mouth as he spluttered at the captain, "Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor not a knight in shining armour!"

Jim's grin just got bigger, "Whatever you say Sir Bones."

PS-So there we go and I hope you liked that, I just liked the idea of McCoy winning an epic joust. Please let me know what you thought.