~What Am I Feeling?~

~Chapter 42- To Be Strong~

Albus woke up groggily the next morning, his eyes aching and puffy from all the crying. For a short moment, he looked for Scorpius, wondering where his boyfriend was but when he saw the unfamiliar surrounding, the events of the previous day flooded back to his mind. He scrunched his eyes again and really wanted to just sink back into the bed to wallow in his sorrows. He wanted to stay there, wrapped up in the sheets, shielded from the rest of the world.

He felt the need to cry again, but all his tears were spent and knew he needed to be stronger now. He needed to find a way to get Scorpius back, to stop Mr Malfoy from keeping them apart. But he didn't think he could do it alone at the moment. He needed help and just as importantly, he needed to speak to his parents now. They must be worried sick. And he still didn't even know their opinion of it all.

What about James? Oh Merlin, what would James think? He hated Scorpius as it is, just when Albus and Scorpius were friends, but what would he think of them as a couple? Never mind James, what about other members of the family like Uncle Ron? They hated the Malfoys and he was dating one. Would others react badly too?

But at the end of the day, he had to go home now. He couldn't run any longer. They would already know so at least he didn't have to actually tell them. He needed to face his family now, because they were his family and were the only people who could really help him right now.

He forced himself out of bed, groaning as he did so. Albus ran his fingers through his messy mop of hair, glancing at a mirror at the other side of the room. He regarded his rugged appearance but didn't care enough to try and fix it. What did something like that matter at a time like this?

Albus stumbled down the stairs, towards where he could hear sounds coming from. He was wearing too large clothes, belonging to Martino, but again he couldn't care less.

After wandering down a corridor, Martino turned a corner to see Albus. He gave a supportive smile, but was still hesitant.

"How are you, Albus?" Martino said delicately.

"Not the best I've ever been…" Albus mumbled, casting his eyes downwards.

"I know… Do you want to get some breakfast?"

"I really need to get home… speak to my parents. I still haven't talked to them about… me and Scor."

"Come on, we'll go to the floo."

Silently, Martino led Albus to the fireplace. The boy picked up some floo powder and stood in the fireplace nervously.

"Thank you so much for tonight, Martino… I'll bring your clothes back as soon as possible." Albus said sadly.

"It was no problem… and don't worry about the clothes…" Martino sighed, "If you ever need me, I know we're not close, but I'm always here."

Albus forced a small smile, "Thank you…"

"Good luck."

Albus took a deep breath as the flames consumed him and he yelled the name of his home. When the flames fizzled out, he felt relieved to see familiar surroundings of the living room of his house. He was greeted by the sight of his mother folding clothes, some bewitched to fold themselves.

Ginny saw Albus in the fireplace and gasped. She instantly ran forward to enfold her arms around her son in a tight embrace, bursting into tears of relief and happiness. Albus couldn't restrain himself and also starting crying. He was happy to be in the comfort of his mother's arms, but when seeing someone you love and knowing that what to come was discussion about another you love but have lost, it was scary. Plus there was all the added pressure about his mother accepting that he liked boys and a Malfoy for that matter…

"Oh Merlin Albus, we've been so worried!" Ginny started yelling, holding Albus tighter and stroking his back, "Oh goodness, goodness, Harry! Harry!"

Thumping and banging down the stairs was heard almost immediately and with a scramble, Harry appeared in the doorway with a worried expression. When he saw his son he rushed towards him, taking Ginny and Albus in his arms.

"Where the hell have you been the last day, Albus? We were worried sick!" Harry choked in frustration, "I've been sending letters, flooing Malfoy manor, but there was no reply! Do you understand how worried we were?"

"I'm sorry dad, I'm really sorry," Albus sobbed, pulling away from his parents slightly, "I just didn't know what to do! It's been horrible!"

"Oh Albus…" Harry pulled his son into a hug again, squeezing him tight. He watched Ginny crying, squeezing her hand, "Albus, what happened at the Malfoys?"

"C-can we sit down and… can I have a drink a-and I need to stop crying… I c-can't cry anymore…"

After settling down in the kitchen with some hot Muggle chocolate which Teddy had bought for them. Yet again, Albus' eyes were red and cheeks were tear-stained. His parents sat on either side of him, his father's hand on his shoulder while his mother held his hand, rubbing circles into his palm with her thumb. Even that comforting touch reminded him of Scorpius holding his hand whenever he was sad and supporting him.

"Feeling any better?" Ginny muttered.

Albus shook his head, "No…"

"What happened dear?"

Albus explained with a shaky breath, "Mr Malfoy s-saw the picture of me and Scorpius in the papers… In the morning he barged into our room and… w-well he kicked me out of the house. I-"

"He did what?" Harry said in anger with wide eyes.

Ginny shushed her husband and urged Albus to continue, though Harry was still fuming, "I-I was just so scared… I heard Scorpius scream…" A cry choked through his throat, "S-so all day yesterday, I just tr-tried to find ways to get into the house…" Albus buried his face in his hands, "D-dad I'm so worried about Scorpius… What if something's happened to him, what if he's hurt?"

Albus was weeping into his hands when James and Lily came to stand at the doorway. They watched their brother with concern but when their parents saw them there, they signalled for them to leave for now.

"Albus, listen to me, Scorpius is going to be fine. Scorpius is fine. Nothing bad has happened…" Harry said firmly, "Where did you go after? Where did you stay the night?"

"I-I went to Martino's house…" Came the younger's voice.

"You silly boy, why on earth did you not come back here?"

Albus cringed and tightened his arms around his face, "I-I was scared…"

Ginny and Harry exchanged looks, a despairing look on their faces, "About what we would think?"

"Y-yeah…"

Their was a brief silence between them, the only sound ringing through the room was Albus' cries.

Ginny finally spoke softly, "Why did you hide it from us, Albus?"

Albus sniffed and lifted his head, "I-I thought you wouldn't approve… I thought you w-wouldn't approve because I was gay and b-because I had fallen in love with a Malfoy… And Scorpius was worried about his dad too… B-but his dad reacted exactly how we thought he would react… Probably worse than we thought… I-I didn't want you to find out this way at all… I wanted to tell you but… we got carried away and I… I just wasn't ready."

"Albus, we still love you just as much," Ginny said with a broken voice, "Just because you are- because you're gay it doesn't change anything at all. We love you all the same. And if it had to be boy you were with… I'm so glad it is Scorpius because he is wonderful."

Harry stared at his son. He didn't understand why Albus didn't tell them, but that couldn't matter right now, "Do you love him?"

Albus looked at his dad through his eyelashes and nodded, "So, so much… More than anything. I-I just can't describe how much I love him…"

"How long?"

"A year and two months…"

Harry chuckled slightly, scratching the back of his neck, "I thought maximum six months or something… you've really managed to keep that quiet," The smile remained on his face as he looked straight into Albus' identical eyes, "I am so proud of you. Not because you've managed to keep a secret from us… But because you have followed your heart. And following your heart is the most important thing. You're a brave boy, Albus, both you and Scorpius are so brave by sticking by each other, despite everything going against you. I'm so proud of you."

For the first time in the past two days, a genuine smile spread across Albus' face. Having his mother and father's acceptance meant that another hurdle was tackled. There was a lot more to go… but it was a start and a good start, "Thank you…"

Harry laughed again, "I still can't believe you two have been together this whole time… I mean, that meant even in Cornwall you were together? How did none of us notice?"

Albus also chuckled, "I don't know… I honestly think we make it obvious a lot of the time."

"I want to hear the details!" Ginny squealed, "How did you get together? I mean, going from best friends to boyfriends can't be easy!"

"It's kind of a long story… But, last year I just got really jealous when he was seeing that Chris guy and I just didn't feel it with Danielle… I eventually realised my feelings, Scorpius having a right shout at me beforehand, and then we just… kissed," Albus smiled at the memory, "And it has just go on from there…"

There was another lapse of silence, before Harry braved the words, "What now?"

Albus scrunched his eyes up, "I don't know… Mr Malfoy said he wasn't going to let us be together… but I love Scorpius, and I want to be with him. And he wants to be with me…"

"He can't keep you apart." Ginny encouraged her son.

"I don't know why… but I just have this horrible feeling that he can."

The sound of the floo came from the next room and the Potters' heads shot around. Albus' eyes lit up in hope that somehow Scorpius had found a way to escape his father and that he was here now, back with Albus but when blue hair bobbed through the door, his heart sunk a little bit.

Teddy's lips parted when he saw Albus there. He dashed to his god-brother and threw his arms around the younger boy.

"I was so worried about you… Where the hell have you been?" Teddy half-laughed, half-growled.

Quickly explaining everything, Albus hugged Teddy back. He was glad Teddy was here. He had been one of the people who understood him completely and helped him through everything. When he thought about it, he needed Teddy at a time like this.

"So, what's going to happen then?" Teddy asked, sitting down.

"I don't know… I don't know what Mr Malfoy is going to do… He's going to try and keep us apart I know that but I c-can't deal with that-"

Albus was dragged into Teddy's arms again, "Shh… I know it's hard. I know, but you have to stay strong, for Scorpius. Tomorrow I'll go to Malfoy Manor and see Scorpius and try to reason with Draco, but it's going to be hard. You'll both get through it, I know how much you love each other."

Teddy was right. Albus couldn't lose faith. He was going to be with Scorpius, no matter who or what got in the way. He had always told himself that and that wasn't going to change. No more crying now, Teddy was right, he had to be strong for Scorpius. He couldn't ever let Scorpius see him like this.

He was going to fight. He was going to fight for him, for Scorpius.

~X~

A/N: Quick update! What did you think of Ginny and Harry's reactions? Another fun chapter to write!

Thank you for reviewing the last chapter Blue you, esinger, Satary, Curly Wurly Me, HPnextgenfan, Full-Empty-Spirt, DarkSnakeLordess and XxBandersnatchxX!

Next chapter:: Teddy takes a visit to Malfoy Manor, while James confronts his brother.