~What Am I Feeling?~
~Chapter 44- Appreciating The Good~
Scorpius had been sent to his father's office. He didn't know why; Tiggy had come to the library telling him that his father wanted to see him.
For some reason, Scorpius had a bad feeling about it. Firstly, his father had hardly spoken two words to him since Albus left, just giving stern orders. He knew his father was actually ashamed about the way he had reacted but he also knew he was far too stubborn to turn back on actions. Secondly, his father never called him to his office. Never. Scorpius would sometimes go in there but his office was strictly for business and formal matters mostly, including doing work for the Ministry from there. That worried Scorpius…
Not much had happened the past few days other than Teddy visiting and passing on letters from Al and vice versa. It was definitely a relief to be able to speak to Albus and reassure each other.
George had also tried to visit with Teddy, but Draco wouldn't let him in. George had exploded. Apparently the whole thing had really upset George… Maybe it was because he knew how much Albus and Scorpius were in love and he had to go for years, until Teddy, without having someone to love him like that and now there was someone trying to stop love… maybe in his own strange way he related to them… Scorpius didn't know. He only knew that George was very passionate and caring about his family, though more importantly, he had given Draco a really hard time.
Tiggy looked up at Scorpius as they arrived at the door and tugged on the boy's trousers to get his attention. Scorpius glanced down at her curiously, "Master Malfoy must be strong. Tiggy thinks she knows what this is about and Master Malfoy cannot give in to Mr Malfoy."
Scorpius' face stilled and he panicked slightly, "Tiggy… what is this about? Please tell me…"
"Tiggy cannot! Tiggy promised Mr Malfoy Tiggy wouldn't say anything to Master Malfoy when Tiggy overheard Mr Malfoy and Mr Lupin talking about it yesterday!" She said in a hurry, "But Tiggy will say that Master Malfoy: this is the time to fight for Master Malfoy and Master Potter! Master Malfoy has to stand up for himself because if he doesn't… he might not see Master Potter again."
Scorpius' eyes were wide and he didn't know what to say. It was serious. Whatever it was, it was serious. Scorpius' heart was beating out of his chest. Was this make or break? Could he lose Al if he didn't do whatever he needed to do now…? His first thought was that his father had arranged a marriage. Well that wasn't going to happen. No way.
He made a vow to himself that no matter what his father tried to do, he would have to use an unforgivable curse on Scorpius before he makes Scorpius accept it.
Scorpius heard the sound of his father's voice asking him to enter the room. Tiggy gave him a supportive look and Scorpius took a deep breath and opened the door.
Draco was sitting at his desk, staring at his son as he entered the room. Immediately, he felt ashamed seeing the state his son was in. Scorpius was still horribly pale and the looks he was giving Draco made Draco want to cry. He didn't want Scorpius to look at him that way. He would have to bare it for now… Scorpius would get over it eventually, when he realised Draco had done the right thing for him.
"Please sit, Scorpius."
Slowly Scorpius walked to the seat with a determined look. He sat down, his chin tilted upwards proudly though inside he was a bundle of nerves.
Draco watched Scorpius for a moment before deciding to just come out and say it, "Scorpius, I've decided that it would be best for you to attend a different school next year. I've sent a letter to Durmstrang and they've said they would be more than happy to have you there."
All the blood drained from Scorpius' cheeks and he stilled. Shakes radiated through his body as his lips moved in stutters. He hadn't expected that. At least he wasn't trying to make him marry but it was still bad news… He couldn't go to another school… Hogwarts was everything to him, he loved it there and more importantly, it was his lifeline. It was where Albus would be… where they could be reunited. But Draco must have known this, "No… No." Scorpius said firmly, shaking his head repeatedly.
"Scorpius…" Draco couldn't even look at his son, he just continuing with some work, writing letters, "I'm afraid you don't have a choice."
"I bloody well do have a choice! This is my life!" Scorpius yelled leaning forward in his seat.
"But I am your father. And I don't think Hogwarts is the best place for you anymore. It's only a year."
Scorpius knew that any argument involving Albus would fail completely. He was going to have to be manipulative here… he was going to have to lie. Well, not lie, just not tell the complete truth, "I have to go to Hogwarts to finish my studies… I can't just suddenly drop all my hard work and start something completely new!"
"Scorpius, you're perfectly capable of continuing the courses in Durmstrang. It may be a little extra work, yes, but you'll be able to do it. It'll be a distraction anyway. You need to concentrate on your school work and Durmstrang is the best place to do that."
"No, you're wrong. Hogwarts is the best place for that, without a doubt. This is not the time to take risks! It's my last year and I need good grades and the right courses to get onto a wandlore course next year!" Scorpius said convincingly as he pleaded with his father.
Draco raised his eyebrows and finally looked up again, "I don't trust you, Scorpius. As much as I want to, I just can't."
Scorpius pressed his lips into a line and growled, "Why not?"
Draco looked at Scorpius sceptically, "Scorpius, you know why. Because Albus would be there and you would want to be with him and I can't allow that."
"Albus has nothing to do with it!" Scorpius lied, "I love Hogwarts and I love studying there! I want to finish my studies there and I think that's the only place I can do it to the best of my ability!"
"Scorpius, it's not going to happen."
"I'll stay away from Albus if that's what it takes!" Scorpius begged, even more lies spilling out of his mouth, "I promise you, father! I only want to go back to Hogwarts for my studies! I'll move rooms, I'll keep as far away from him as possible, I won't speak to him! I won't have anything to do with him! Please father, please! My studies have always been at priority and that's not going to change now!"
"I can't trust you, Scorpius." Draco breathed.
"Yes, you can! Please father, you can!"
"Would you break up with him? Officially?" Draco asked abruptly.
Scorpius knew it was a test and replied without hesitation, "Yes! Yes! Because I need to finish my studies! They're far more important!"
Draco was surprised at Scorpius. Maybe Scorpius and Albus weren't as serious as they made out to be… If Scorpius really loved Albus that much he wouldn't be so willing to give up on him so quickly. So maybe it was just Scorpius rebelling, maybe he had done the right thing by disciplining Scorpius. It would all probably return to normal now… He had done the right thing. He just needed to keep an eye on Scorpius over the Summer and when he returned to school…
"Okay… I'm going to trust you Scorpius. I want you to write a letter to Potter, right now, telling him you're not going to see him again this summer and you're breaking up with him. That will be it. But if I do hear of anything happening …" Draco looked at Scorpius gravely, "You will not be returning home from Hogwarts."
Scorpius' lips parted and wavered. His father was really willing to… disown him? Scorpius wasn't sure whether that was the most devastated he had been the past few days. Throughout the past few days, at least Scorpius knew that Albus still loved him and always would… he was safe in that knowledge. But his father would disown him? That broke Scorpius' heart. If his father loved him he wouldn't ever want to do that to him…
So all he had now was Albus. So he would put on a face, stick it out for Albus. He didn't even feel guilty for lying to his father anymore. It was all for Albus now.
"Fine." Scorpius said simply, holding his hand out for the quill.
~X~
To Albus Potter,
I'm writing you to tell you that I can no longer see you romantically. In fact, I cannot see you at all anymore. I would appreciate that when we return to school we avoid each other. It's for the best and please don't question my decision too much.
Your sincerely,
Scorpius Malfoy
~X~
The letter to Albus had been horrible to write. He was extremely worried that Albus wouldn't realise it meant nothing but Albus was clever and at the end of the day, it didn't sound anything like Scorpius, or at least the way Scorpius spoke to Albus. Albus would realise. Definitely. He just hoped Teddy would come soon so he could talk to him and explain.
Scorpius trekked up the stairs with loud thumps of the feet. He felt awful. Not about the letter, but about what his father said about disowning him. He loved his father dearly, despite what he had done to him and that broke his heart to think his father would so freely refuse to accept him as his son.
As he was going up the stairs, his mother descended them. She also, had avoided speaking to Scorpius the past few days. She had another reason to be ashamed; she hadn't stood up for her son despite believing that Scorpius should be allowed to be with Albus and in fact thinking they would be great together. But she didn't do anything. She didn't even protest when Draco dragged Albus down the stairs or when he carried Scorpius to his room. She felt like she had wronged her son.
Smiling softly, Astoria caught Scorpius' wrist, "Scorpius… I'm so sorry…"
Scorpius furrowed his eyebrows suspiciously, "For what?"
"Don't look at me like that…" Astoria stepped back and hid behind her long hair.
"Like what…?"
"Like you don't trust me… like you hate me." She said with a broken voice.
"Mother… I don't hate you, I could never hate you," Scorpius went forward to embrace her, "I-I just don't understand why you didn't even try to stop him. You didn't help us… when he could have hurt him… or even me."
"I was scared Scorpius…" Astoria squeezed onto her son for support, "I just… I didn't know what to do…"
"I understand," Scorpius nodded, "Just… please be there for me from now on…"
"Oh Scorpius… I'm so sorry… Of course I will… of course I will…"
~X~
Teddy came to see Albus that same night, after visiting Scorpius. Scorpius had filled him in with everything that happened with his father and overall, it did sound like good news. Scorpius didn't have to move schools and he and Albus could be together, even though they would have to hide it again, from Draco at least.
Teddy came in while the Potters were having dinner and he was surprised to see them all laughing and quite happy. Even Albus looked like he was enjoying himself which was good to see, as opposed to his moping around.
Albus immediately shot up as soon as he saw Teddy, "Did you see Scor?" He scurried towards Teddy, clinging onto his god-brother's arm.
"Yeah, he's fine… Well, actually probably better then he was before…" Teddy grinned, "The good news is that although Draco didn't want him to go back to Hogwarts, Scorpius managed to persuade his dad to let him go back but with the promise that he would break up with you… that's why he sent you that letter, Albus. It's completely fake though. Scorpius wanted me to make sure you knew that he didn't mean any of it."
"I knew it," Albus said confidently with a beam, "Scor wouldn't write like that… that just wasn't him."
"The bad news is that you're not going to see him over the Summer… I spoke to Draco and he said he's keeping Scorpius under watchful eyes when he's with him… And you're going to hide it from Draco again when you go back to school…"
Albus shrugged and said, "Well if that's what it takes then fine… as long as I eventually get to be with Scorpius… though I just kinda thought we wouldn't have to hide it anymore…"
"Albus, we don't know what's going to happen really," Harry comforted him, "Maybe… Scorpius will decide he doesn't want to hide it from his dad and will stand up for himself again."
"Scorpius said that his dad threatened to disown him if he didn't split up with Albus so I think he will want to hide it Albus… sorry…" Teddy said guiltily, shifting awkwardly.
Audible gasps echoed through the room. The Potters were a tight-knit family and the idea of disowning a member of your family for any reason was absolutely shocking. It was something they couldn't imagine at all, "Well that's absolutely awful!" Ginny hissed to herself.
"That's what Scor has always been afraid of…" Albus plopped back down in his seat, his cheek rested on his hand, "It's so unfair… I just want to be happy and with Scor… why is it all so complicated?"
Teddy sat down on a chair next to Albus and wrapped his arm around Albus' shoulder, "Because sometimes we have to go through hard times, to appreciate the good."
~X~
A/N: That felt like a looong chapter to write but the good news is... the next chapter is already to go to! Yay! Don't when I'll post it, probably the next few days... I like being organised :)
Have to go somewhere so I have to do this quick... Thank you to BlackDawnRose, MiraclesHappen94, GreenGirl111, esinger, lordsteinman, Blue you, R.A.B 1307, ThugQueenBreezy and Guest (Anonymous) for reviewing! So many reviews! I love it!
Next chapter:: At last, the return to Hogwarts comes.
~X~
Astoria Malfoy
Used to be very much in love with Draco when she was younger and married him, but soon realised he didn't love her. Stayed loyal to him in their marriage though and it's assumed she still loves him. In the future, will she stay loyal to Draco or her son?
She loves her son very much and is very protective over him, especially concerning his power. Was very accepting when he came out as gay. Also accepts him and Albus when their relationship is revealed and actually thinks they are a good couple, though she is too scared to stick up for them.
Has a passion for fashion, Scorpius often mentioning going shopping with her. Her favourite shop is Madam Malkin's, naturally.
""Scorpius!" Astoria came storming in and pounced on Scorpius, straightening his hair and trying to make it neater. Scorpius struggled, he liked his hair the way it was and whenever his mother did it, he looked far too groomed.
Draco chuckled but pulled Astoria back by the hand, "Oh leave him be, Astoria. It's his date."
"He needs to look nice though." Astoria pouted as Scorpius started to scruff his hair back to normal.
"I'm going to go." Scorpius said sceptically, tucking his wallet into his pocket.
"Scorpius," Astoria wrapped him in a tight embrace and kissed his forehead, "Have fun. Be good.""