Dear Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,
Thank you for answering this very important question. The world has pondered this issue for many years, and you finally figured it out. Also, thank you for the wonderful hat. I've been wearing it a lot recently, and all my friends have been staring at me (I suspect out of envy). Now, on to another question, how are you answering this if you're dead?
Sincerely,
The Avatarded Potterhead
P.S. Ten points to Gryffindor if you can tell me where the term "Avatarded" comes from.
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Dear The Avatarded Potterhead,
As you know all headmasters of Hogwarts have a portrait in the headmaster's office, the lovely writer of this story simply comes into the office and reads said questions out to me whenever they reach her and I dictate my answers back to her so she may write them down and later publish them on this 'interweb' (which I must admit seems fascinating) so that you may read them. Being an accomplished wizard I also have many other portraits, so she can also visit them if unable to reach mine in Hogwarts but as (as I'm sure you realised) most of her letters are addressed to students and staff at Hogwarts, it is much simpler for her to come here.
As for Avatarded, I admit I had absolutely no idea what it meant. The writer proceeded to tell me about which seems much like an internet library and I expect I'll be stuck looking through it for an age now that I have discovered it what with its wonders and- ahem, as I was saying. We entered this term into the Google and discovered an 'Urban Dictionary'. Apparently it means pretty without substance, I assume that refers to the film Avatar which had brilliant 'CBI' (is that what it's called? Oh CGI, my apologies) but was rather lacking on its 'plot'. Would that be correct?
Yours,
Albus Percival Wulfric Dumbledore