66. Fine
"I'm fine."
Those words fall from her lips without any regret, dripping false, gentle honey laced with bitter and dangerous, yet invisible poison.
"I'm fine, please don't worry about me."
"There's nothing wrong, really. I'm fine, I promise."
Repeatedly, she finds herself echoing that word. Fine. She puts up her front, completed with her 'sincere' smile, and pretends nothing's wrong, even when it feels like her world is falling apart.
She's not sure why she doesn't try to confide in her friends about her problems. It would burden them, she would reason. It's not worth making them upset.
But… Even so… Even though she doesn't want to bother them, to make them worry, she wishes she would. Maybe they could help? Maybe they would find a way to fix everything?
Yet, she finds no solace in their company, having to keep everything away from everyone in fear…
...Except for Len.
Her friend of many years is the only one she loses her mask for. Only when she's with him does she allow herself to cry. Her excuses, the words 'I'm fine', have no effect on him, because he knows, he understands. With him, she can let go of her fake optimism, and Len listens without judging her or making her feel worse. When she cries, he comforts her; when she laughs, he laughs with her.
With no one but him, Rin can entrust every emotion, good and bad, and know that they- and she herself- are protected and cared for.