Author's Note:

Hello everyone and here is another chapter and it once again features Jo-Jo the parrot. The idea was supplied by SherlockWholmes though it is slightly different from his/her original suggestion. It is also about an event that I mentioned in the chapter for Rule 39 in 'Unofficial rules' and it makes references to one of my other stories 'Father To Son' but it should make sense without reading either of those. Thank you for continuing to support this story and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

I own nothing.

Romulans Are Silly Billys

Pavel was definitely in a lot of trouble and would be in even more when the others found him.

He guessed he shouldn't have wondered away from Jim while on shore leave on an apparently safe, newly discovered planet but since Pavel got kidnapped on Gamma 2 last week his surrogate father had stuck close to him as much as possible and the teen had started to feel a bit smothered. As such he'd slipped away from the others when they were distracted by Bones chasing Jim around (the captain made one too many cheeky comments) despite having been given strict instructions to stay with them. He only meant to spend a few minutes on his own with Jo-Jo for company and no-one else anxiously hovering over him like he would vanish if they looked away for more than thirty seconds. Unfortunately his plan went awry when he found a group of Romulans who had survived the destruction of the Narada which the ships sensors had somehow missed. It was actually a bit of a toss up between who was most surprised, Pavel or the Romulans but the Narada survivors recovered quicker than the teen and pounced before the boy could react.

This resulted in Pavel now sitting dejectedly in a rough hewn cave cell alone (Jo-Jo had flown off in fright when the Romulans grabbed Pavel) wishing that he hadn't left the company of his overprotective family. His captors had been in briefly and had ordered him to hand over his uniform top which left him with only black undershirt but he hadn't seen them since. He got up and paced anxiously around his cell and although it was larger than the cage he was kept in it was small enough to bring back memories of the previous week he would rather forget. His cell door suddenly opened and two of the Romulans walked in and pointed their weapons at him, a third soon followed and marched over and grabbed Pavel roughly and pretty much carried him out. The teen was nowhere near strong enough to break free of his captors but he struggled valiantly anyway as he was carried away from his cell and into an entirely different cave.

They travelled deep into the cave and they eventually came to a small cavern with a strong pole fixed firmly in its centre. Instantly realising what it was for Pavel struggled even harder but it was in vain as he was dragged over and bound tightly to it, he was also gagged and after tugging at his bonds he took in the rest of his surroundings. The cavern was low-ceilinged with a great many rock formations around its edge forming natural low walls and hiding places, there was also only one entrance which was only wide enough to fit one person at a time. His tactical mind quickly took all this in and saw the Romulan's strategy; it was a simple ambush with Pavel as the bait for the trap. Already he could see various Romulans hiding in key positions around the room ready to take out anyone who entered and although Pavel couldn't see them he was certain that there was at least one or two others ready to block off the entrance. Pavel himself was in plain view of the entrance but was close to the rear of the cavern so it would be easy for a Romulan to get to him to use as a hostage before any rescuers could untie him. It was a simple but likely effective trap and since he was gagged he wouldn't be able to give any warning to anyone coming to save him, the only thing keeping him confident was the fact that he was sure that Jim and the others would see through the set up easily but chances were that the Romulans had also made sure to hide their trap well.

All the Romulans were in place and Pavel waited fearfully for what would happen next. The tense silence was abruptly broken by a sudden voice.

"Shiver me timbers and swab the decks ye lily-livered squid!"

The two Romulans who had remained in sight jumped and looked around frantically for who had spoken, Pavel had recognised that it was Jo-Jo speaking and also looked around as well as he could to try and find the parrot. The Romulan then looked at Pavel in confusion, he knew that his own men wouldn't have been the ones to speak but he also couldn't see anyone else except the gagged boy beside him and his confusion only grew when the voice called out again from a different place.

En garde ye spineless minnow!"

Several of the Romulans had reappeared and were also looking for the mysterious voice.

"Pointy-eared bastard!"

Jo-Jo had said this in a perfect imitation of Doctor McCoy and now all the Romulans were looking for the intruder angrily. Jo-Jo became bored of yelling insults and moved onto something else.

"Everything is awesome; Everything is cool when your part of a team, Everything is awesome, When you're living on a dream."

The Narada survivors were so taken aback by the sudden singing, they forgot their previous anger.

"We will, we will rock you!" Jo-Jo sang which was closely followed by a very realistic sound of a phaser firing causing the Romulans to wave their own weapons around in panic. The parrot then let loose a stream of Gaelic insults he'd heard Scotty yell and a few Klingon swear words he'd picked up from Jim. After this he delivered a few more choice insults in Romulan before giggling like Pavel sometimes did. By this time the Romulans were all running around like headless chickens trying to find the owner of the voice because Jo-Jo had kept flying around the cavern as he'd spoken so no-one could decide where the voice had come from. Enjoying the chaos he was creating Jo-Jo then meowed like a cat, barked like Admiral Archer's beagle, cawed like a crow, gave several loud angry goose honks before making the sound of a firing photon torpedo and finishing of with the screech of a golden eagle.

By now the Romulans were completely confused and only Pavel noticed Jo-Jo perch on top of the pole he was bound to. The parrot puffed his chest out then yelled really loudly, "ATTENTION PLEASE!"

The Romulans instantly snapped their focus to the top of the pole and gaped at the parrot which had caused all their troubles. Jo-Jo tilted his head and seemed to regard them for a moment before announcing in a perfect imitation of Admiral Ackbar from 'Star Wars'…

"IT'S A TRAP!"

Suddenly the Romulans were all blasted unconscious as Jim came charging in stunning them with his phaser backed by the whole Command Crew and what seemed to be half of security. In the silence that followed Jo-Jo stared down at the unconscious Romulans and said in a disappointed voice…

"Silly billys"

Afterwards (once Pavel had been untied, been hugged by Jim because he was relived Pavel was safe, checked over by McCoy, lectured by Jim and the others about wandering off when he'd been told not to) they were sat in one of the recreation rooms and Jim was telling Pavel what had happened when they noticed he'd vanished. When they had realised he'd disappeared Jim had soon been scouring the area to find him and was eventually contacted by one of the Romulans who claimed that he and one other had kidnapped Pavel and was holding him for ransom. He had handed over Pavel's uniform top as proof and gave instructions that Jim was to come alone to the cavern along with the ransom. Sensing a trap Jim had gathered together the rest of the Command Crew and a large complement of security officers. The original plan was that Jim would go along with the Romulans demands and enter alone but the rest of the group would enter soon after and spring an ambush of their own. This went out the window when they heard the commotion being caused inside by Jo-Jo and, fearing that Pavel was in far more imminent danger than before, they rushed down the tunnel together.

Having told their side of the story, they wanted to know what had caused the commotion inside the cave and Pavel told them about Jo-Jo's performance. They were soon all rolling about laughing as he related in as much detail as he could how Jo-Jo's various insults, sounds and songs caused the Romulans to run around frantically not understanding what was going on. They completely lost it when he related how Jo-Jo had given Admiral Ackbar's famous quote from 'Star Wars' just before Jim and the others arrived and it was a while before they got their laughter back under control.

Jim was still grinning as he leaned over towards Jo-Jo, who was perched on the table in front of Pavel, and began to stroke his neck feathers, "Well Jo-Jo, I think you're the first person to single-handedly cause a whole group of battle trained Romulans to run around like headless chickens."

Jo-Jo cocked his head at the Captain before answering in a serious voice, "Battle trained Romulans are silly billys."

PS-So I hope you all liked that and I know it wasn't Klingons like you suggested SherlockWholmes but I hope it was sort of what you wanted. Please let me know what you thought.