Kyle's POV:

It's 6.30 when I wake up. I can't fall back asleep then. There is no way. I'm scared out of my mind and I'm on edge. It doesn't matter cause I still refuse to get out of bed. I shouldn't roam around the house when Craig isn't awake... It feels wrong...

I'm pretty sure Craig likes to sleep in on the weekends, and I don't want to stop him from doing so. And he woke up in the middle of the night and helped me out... So he needs to get some sleep.

I don't move an inch for another hour, until the doorbell rings.

What the heck? Who comes to visit someone at 7.30 on a Saturday morning?

I continue to lay there for a moment. But when the doorbell rings the second time I decide to go open the door. Craig is still asleep and if this fucking person doesn't stop ringing the doorbell he will surely wake up...

I walk downstairs and let out a small yawn before I open the door.

"CRAIG! I have some cookie dough and some booze! Have some fun with me baby!" The person yells, before noticing that Craig wasn't the one to open the door. What the fuck...? What the actual fuck?!

It takes me a while to actually place the person. He's a relatively tall brunette with big brown eyes. He's pretty normal weight, although a little chubby, just a little. And he has a big grin on his face. Judging by how he's acting he's probably drunk off his ass already. At 7.30 in the morning? Well... It explains his weird behavior at least... He looks really fucking familiar though...

He finally seems to notice that I'm not Craig.

"KYYYYLE!" He yells happily and hugs me close. Yeah... I've definitely met this person before.

"Ehm..." I don't really know what to say so I just awkwardly hug him back. When all the hugging is over he looks at me with somewhat sad eyes.

"You don't remember me, do you?" He says, with an expression on his face that resembles that of a kicked puppy. I don't say anything.

The brunette then starts sobbing loudly and openly. That's when it finally clicks in my head. Clyde. It's Clyde Donovan.

"No, no no! Of course I remember you Clyde!" I exclaim. He looks at me a little suspiciously and sniffles.

"Really?" He asks.

"Really. I remember. Just took a while to recognize you... It's been a while." I tell him with a smile.

"Yeah... You should've come back sooner!" He answers happily.

"Hehe... Sorry about that..." I say.

"It's alright... Wait... Why are you here? At Craig's house? Wearing his clothes?" Damn it. I was hoping he'd be too drunk to notice that... But apparently not.

"Well... It's kinda complicated..." I tell him.

"You're fucking Craig?! Spent the night, eh? I always knew that you were gay but... I didn't think that Craig was your type really..."

"WHAT?!" I practically scream out. "There's nothing between me and Craig... Look... Last night was pretty crap for me and Craig just helped me out... Don't get any strange ideas." I explain.

"Sure... If you say so..." Clyde answers, before giving me a suggestive wink. Great. He doesn't believe me.

"I was trying to sleep." I can hear Craig say from behind me. I practically jump a meter into the air. "Why the fuck did you have to yell so loudly Clyde?"

"CRAIG!" Clyde shouts happily, and skips through the door, past me, and jumps into Craig's arms.

"Get off me." Craig says calmly, but it has a harsh tone to it.

"But Craig...!" Clyde says while cuddling closer to the taller guy. What the fuck is this? What kind of relationship do these guys have even?

Craig lets out a sigh. Two seconds later he's grabbed Clyde by the collar and forcefully shoved him right into the wall. I just stare at the sight in front of me. Wow... That must've kinda hurt...

Clyde sniffles a little and pouts.

"Craig, you're such a meanie..."

"Go home Clyde. Come back sometime when you aren't drunk off your ass." Craig tells him in his monotone voice.

"I brought some cookie dough... Please let me stay..." Clyde begs.

"Fine..." Craig says with a sigh. "Just try and behave... And no more drinking, you asshat!" Clyde nods happily and skips into the living room.

I look at Craig with raised eyebrows. I'm confused as hell. He looks back at me with a blank expression.

"Clyde sucks at controlling his drinking... And it doesn't really help that he becomes the biggest retard known to man when he does drink..." Craig simply states.

"Oh..." Is all that I answer.

"I'm gonna go and make some coffee... Please babysit Clyde for a moment? My parents would kill me if something happened to the living room..." I simply nod at Craig and I start walking towards the living room.

I find Clyde laying on the couch, shoving huge amounts of cookie dough into his mouth. I smile a little at how silly the boy looks. He reminds me a little of Kenny... Kenny used to love cookie dough when we were kids. I don't know if he still does or not though...

"SO GOOD!" Clyde practically screams out. "I think I'm in heaven..." I sit down on the floor in front of Clyde and I just watch him and his silly behavior for a while. After less than 5 minutes he somehow falls asleep. He's snoring loudly and there's cookie dough all over his face.

The strange events involving Clyde seems to have calmed me down a little bit... But I'm still completely on edge, and I can't relax. Not after yesterday. It's like I can't let my guard down, not for a second. Like I'm prepared to run away at any given time if something were to occur.

I'm gonna break. Sooner or later I'm gonna break. I won't be able to keep up this facade that I'm hiding behind. I feel awful. I don't want to do anything. I just want to go home, and sit locked up in my room alone while listening to Roger Rabbit by Sleeping with Sirens. I always listen to that song when I sulk... I don't know why or how, but doing that just became a habit. Stan teases me for it sometimes... But he's a big hypocrite really... I know he does basically the exact same thing, but instead he listens to I'm All Out of Love by Air Supply. That song is kinda lame... Wait. Not kinda lame... Really lame. When Stan sulks it's always really bad. Like that time when we were 9 and Wendy broke up with him. He sulked for fucking forever and then he turned goth to cope with the sadness... Stan can be such a drama queen sometimes...

I don't care. I don't care about how fucking much I love Kenny, or how fucking much my entire being hurts, or how fucking horrible last night was. I don't care about anything. I just want to go home. I don't think I've ever felt this bad in my entire life. I'm all alone. No one can help me. I can't depend on anyone, cause they might leave too. Without a word, like Kenny did.

I lost something important last night. I lost something that everyone needs to have. I did not just get raped and lost my virginity because of that, but I also lost the right to my own body. It makes me feel sick. I've been violated. I've been soiled. There's no point anymore. I don't care. Nothing really matters. I don't matter. I'm filthy and disgusting and wrong. It doesn't matter at all anymore, what happens to me, because I've already become ruined.

Craig soon walks into the room with 3 cups of coffee in his hands.

"Damn it. That little motherfucker fell asleep! I even made coffee for him too..." Craig says with a sigh.

I sit there silently for a moment, not being sure of what I should say. It still crawls uncomfortably under my skin. Filthy. So filthy. Craig hands me a cup of coffee and then he breaks the silence.

"You should probably call someone back home... You should probably tell them that you didn't end up at Kenny's place..." He says.

"My phone got left behind last night..." I simply answer, taking a sip of coffee.

"If you know the number then you can borrow mine..." Craig tells me, while taking his phone out of his pocket. I nod at him.

"I know a number I could call..." I tell him. Craig hands me the phone, before reaching for his pack of cigarettes. I swear to god, as much as he smokes his lungs will probably collapse before he turns 60 if he doesn't change his habits soon.

I leave the room so I can make the call in private. I only have one phone number memorized in my head. Luckily it's one of the most important numbers anyway. It's the one person who I know is always there for me. I dial the number and then I wait.

"Yeah, this is Stan..." I hear him say suspiciously. He clearly does not recognize this number. I haven't been this happy, from just hearing Stan's voice, in a long while. I can always count on Stan, so I feel safe while talking to him. If there is a single person in this world that I can count on, that I can depend on, then it's Stan Marsh.

"Stan... Some stuff happened..." I tell him, sounding sadder than I planned to.

"Kyle?! Is that you?" Stan asks, sounding very surprised. "This isn't your number! Whose phone is this?"

"Yeah it's me... It's Craig's phone..." I tell him.

"Craig? What are you doing with Craig? Weren't you gonna visit Kenny?" Stan asks, seeming like he's utterly confused.

"Like I said some stuff happened..." I say.

"What stuff?" Stan is now even more confused. I let out a sigh.

"I really don't want to talk about this in detail right now Stan. But turns out that Kenny moved away from South Park, and instead some really buff guys live there now... Long story short I ended up spending the night at Craig's house cause I had nowhere else to go." I explain.

"Wait! You didn't know that Kenny doesn't live in South Park anymore?! Fuck! I thought you knew about his new adress and stuff!" Stan almost yells. So Kenny told Stan but not me... That makes my heart ache... I guess it's only natural... Stan and Kenny are still close friends, but I'm not really a part of it. Of course he'd tell Stan. And it's not like he had to tell me anyway...

"No I didn't..." I answer.

"And buff guys? Did they beat you up or something?! Stole all your stuff?!" Stan sounds like he's panicking.

"Yes. But they also did something worse." I tell him.

"Worse? What did they do?" Stan sounds so worried when he says that. I'm glad that I can always count on Stan. But he still gets too worked up over things sometimes...

"I don't wanna talk about it now... Let's just say that it left me with some emotional scars that might never heal..." I tell him. I can't tell Stan about the rape. Not right now. He'd flip the fuck out and he'd be worried sick about me. I'll tell him when I get home, because now would be really bad timing. He would lose way too much sleep because of this... And I don't think it's right to tell him over the phone either. Even though he'll still worry a lot, it's better to leave out that part for now. I'll just tell him in person when I get home.

"Oh okay... Are you alright now? Are you safe?" Stan asks.

"I'm in a safe place, yes. Don't worry about it. Craig is actually being really nice." I explain.

"If you say so..." Stan answers. "When will you come back home?"

Stan left South Park 6 months after me. Turned out that he actually moved into my new neighborhood in Boulder then. What a damn good coincidence. I was pretty lucky at that point... The first 6 months after I moved were pretty shit. There weren't much people that were interested in befriending me, so I was kind of a loner for a while. Until Stan showed up. We've been inseparable since then. Not too long ago we actually both moved away from home and we now share an apartment together. Though Wendy is still Stan's on and off girlfriend so she spends the night there on occasions. But I just wish the walls in our apartment were a bit thicker so I wouldn't have to hear then when they... You know...

I don't have anything against Wendy, but she should make up her fucking mind and stop playing with Stan's feeling. She just comes and goes as she pleases, making Stan listen to that damn Air Supply song over and over again. And what about me? Well... I'm like the most single person in the country and I'm in love with Kenny McCormick. But nothing is gonna happen with that so...

"Not sure..." I say. "I don't have any money so I can't do shit right now..."

"Fuck... Sorry dude, I don't have any money to spare either... Wendy found my credit card and bought an expensive jacket for all my extra money... Don't know if I even have enough money for lunch today..." Stan explains.

"What a bitch... Anyway... I'll figure something out. But when I do come back, be prepared for sulking." I say.

"I expected that... Look Kyle. I'm so sorry that I can't do a single fuck right now. I'm such a crappy friend..." Stan says in a voice that sounds really guilty.

"Don't worry about it. And if you actually were a crappy friend then I would've ditched you years ago." I say. "Anyway, I think that I gotta go now. Take care."

"Yeah, you too... Please come home soon Kyle. You seem like you're feeling like shit and I just... I just wanna help but I'm so fucking powerless..."

"Don't worry about it Stan. It'll be alright..." Will it really? Will it ever be alright again? It sure as hell doesn't feel like it...

"Okay. Promise?"

"Yeah I promise." I'm not sure if I can actually keep that promise... But I don't want Stan to worry. Even if I feel the shittiest that I've ever felt.

"Good. Okay, bye." He then says.

"Yeah, bye." I answer, and then I hang up. I let out a sigh. My skin still crawls. Disgusting. Filthy. Wrong. I can almost feel tears forming in my eyes. I refuse to cry now. I hold it back and enter the living room again. I silently return Craig's phone to him.

"Thanks... How did it go?" Craig asks, and takes a sip from his now almost empty cup of coffee.

"Well... Stan knows that I'm here, he knows that I feel like crap, and he also knows that I have no fucking idea how I'm supposed to get home... He's gonna be worried as fuck, even though he doesn't know the entire story." I explain.

"Stan, eh?" Craig simply asks and inhales some smoke from his cigarette.

"Yeah... We live together... He's my roommate." I tell him.

"I see... And that part about not being able to get back home?" Craig asks.

"I don't have my wallet anymore. I don't have the money to get back home. I have nothing really..." I sound sadder than I wanted to. Fuck.

"Oh... You don't have to worry... I'll get you back home." Craig tells me.

"What?" I ask, feeling confused. Craig grins a little at me.

"I'll pay for your bus ticket so you can go home... Boulder, right?" Craig asks casually.

"What!? You'd actually do that?!" I almost yell. Craig is amazing. He's a lot kinder than people give him credit for. I don't understand why people call him an asshole... He's actually pretty sweet underneath his monotone voice and blank expression. Maybe people just don't make an effort to get to know him properly?

"Of course moron... It's the least I can do for you..." He tells me.

"Craig... You've already done enough... But thanks a lot. I swear that I'll pay you back the money." I say.

"Very well... I'll get you on the next bus to Boulder so you can go home..." Craig says. "It's probably for the best if you leave this place as fast as possible..."

"Yeah... You're right..." South Park doesn't feel safe anymore. It isn't safe anymore. Those people live here. They could find me again soon. I need to get out. Craig takes one last gulp of his coffee before the mug is empty, and then another cigarette ends up in the ashtray.

"One problem though. The next bus going to Boulder doesn't get here until tomorrow... Will that be alright?" He asks. I nod.

"I'll be fine..." I tell him. It's a lie. I won't be fine. I probably won't ever be fine. I'll just go insane if I keep this up. I pretend that I'm okay in front of Craig. I don't want his pity. I don't want him to look down on me is all. I don't want him to see how weak I actually am.

Craig's POV:

Kyle lied.

"I'll be fine." Bullshit. He's a complete mess on the inside. He is just trying to hide it from me. Idiot. You don't have to do that. I already know. And I'm here. I'll support you.

What's gotten into me? Why am I so desperate to help Kyle all of a sudden? Well, of course I'd help him out. He got fucking raped. It's the least that I can do. Even as just a distant friend kinda... But there's something more. I think I might like him. What the fuck Craig... What the actual fuck Craig?!

I already know that I'm interested in both guys and girls, but Kyle? I never thought that I'd get interested in him. It's kinda weird. I don't even know why I like him. His company is just pleasant I guess.

It's not like this is anything serious though. Not like I'm head over heels in love or any of that bullshit. It's just a slight interest.

"You sure?" I ask.

"Yeah. Don't worry about it." He says with a smile that isn't real. His green eyes still look completely empty. What the hell do I do? I can't just sit here and do nothing. He's ruined. He needs help. He needs support and comfort. One problem though... Most of the time Craig Tucker is about as comforting as a rock.

I stand up and I place a hand on Kyle's shoulder. He lets out a sigh and seems somewhat calmer. I remove the hand and place it on his head instead. I ruffle his soft red curls. It's nice. I like his hair. It's fun to play with. His green hat sucked ass, covering up something this pretty. Kyle's eyebrows are a bit raised and he seems kinda surprised by this gesture. I pull my hand away.

"Let's try and wake Clyde up. He needs to get somewhat sober so I can kick him out of the house without having to worry about him going and doing something crazy..." I explain. Kyle nods. "This one time he almost drowned himself at Starks Pond after I didn't open the door for him while he was really drunk. That's why I can't just leave him be. He gets too reckless and stupid when he drinks."

Kyle's POV:

Craig's definition of waking Clyde up was rolling him off the couch so he fell face first onto the floor...

"OUCH!" Clyde yells.

"Don't sleep on my couch, retard. You're going to get cookie dough all over the place!" Craig yells.

"Sorry..." Clyde says sleepily as he rubs his eyes.

"Please dude... Just go home and go to bed Clyde..." Craig says. He's almost begging him, but not quiet. Clyde lets out a yawn, before he stands up and stretches a little.

"You're right Craig... Just gonna go and throw up first..." Clyde says and then he takes off towards the bathroom.

"You never learn Clyde! Stop eating so much cookie dough and then you wouldn't need to throw up, you idiot!" Craig yells after him. Clyde shrugs. Craig roughly throws a pillow towards the brunette, but he dodges it so the pillow just hits the wall...

"It's just too good... I can't resist it..." Is the last thing Clyde says, before he retreats to the bathroom.

Clyde leaves the house shortly afterwards. Craig then proceeds to cook breakfast. Pancakes. The most delicious pancakes that I've ever eaten. It could just be cause the only think I've gotten in my stomach since lunch yesterday is one of the rapists disgusting semen and two cups of coffee so I'm hungry as fuck... But the pancakes are really great. I didn't know that Craig could cook. It's interesting. I didn't expect him to be the cooking type. It's kinda nice, finding out more stuff about Craig. I was never very close to him before but he's pretty cool. I like his company. It's comfortable.

We spend the rest of the day just chilling and playing random video games together. It's a lot of fun actually, even though I still have this terrible feeling inside. Right now I don't think I'm ever gonna be fine again. No matter how much I act like I am.

Sometime in the afternoon Craig gets a call from his sister. Apparently she's staying another night at her friends house. So I won't see her around. The next bus to Boulder will get to the bus stop at 8.15 tomorrow morning. I'm pretty sure that she won't be back that early...

Before we know it it's nighttime again and I lay back in Craig's bed once more. I'm even more tired than I was last night. Yet it still takes a long time before I fall asleep. I lay there for a solid 2 1/2 hours before I actually start to slumber. But it's not a nice sleep tonight either. It's the same horrible dream as last night. But when I wake up in the morning, once again sweaty and panicking, I don't remember it now either. Only a brief detail, that I didn't remember yesterday. Pale blue eyes, staring at me, with such an empty gaze. Everything else around them is black. The eyes look just like Craig's eyes, except these eyes look completely dead. Craig's eyes are full of life...

Will sleep ever feel nice again? I wonder. Right now it doesn't seem like it ever will...