Okay so here I am (as promised) right now one of my dogs are making it extremely hard to type (he's stolen one of my hands to lie on). But I'm here anyway with one hand, an almost fixed key bored and a Spotify playlist containing My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Green Day and 30 Seconds To Mars.
I'm ready and raring to go.
Okay so before the reviews you may or may not know I was looking for a beta, my Beta is nowInperious.
So the reviews!
Soildercrafter1
To answer your final question, a beta is a beta reader. Basically it is somebody who edits your story before you put it up, otherwise in animals (wolves, dogs, etc) There are Alphas, Omegas, and Betas in that order of an hierarchy.
I love the chapter and the hint towards Ouranus perhaps going bitter with his children's betrayal or something like that, and it is a good reason for his siblings to not like you. I do also like the introducing of runes, I always like stuff like that :P
Well I would like to commend you for your awesome looking line breaks (*wipes away tear* "It's the little stuff that counts... and the awesome story counts to infinity!") that must have taken quite a bit of time to get.
Well to end my review, can't wait for your next chapter and thank you for this one :D
As always my favourite reviewer has once again, well, reviewed. Hehe thank you for liking the way I've representing Ouranus, I picture all of his offspring actually being quite bitter towards him because well that's the titan's personality but it's not Percy's personality now is it? Also everybody goes bitter for a reason, in ways I've actually linked Kronos going bitter and Ouranus going bitter if you squint. And why thank you *bows* the line breaks are pretty awesome aren't they? Aww my story isn't that awesome is it? Well you're welcome for the chapter, the next is coming! Thank you for once again reviewing.
Llew444
Ok! So uhh...a promising start to the story, with some good feels going on. Personally, I think PercyxHemera is good considering what you've written- it's also the first of that paring I've seen.
ANYWAY I was reading your ANs in previous chapters and can I just say that being British as well, I prefer to use mum, but use mom on fanfiction as it is for a wider audience than the UK. That's not criticism, just how I do things- thought it might help. Also, in ch8/11 where you wrote in 2nd person, it was good but I don't think it works with the story. Also, not a Gemini- Taurus am I.
a beta is someone who manually spell and grammar checks your work, also putting in nifty words and phrases as well. They're very useful to have and I recommend getting one.
Finally, this is good writing and I hope you update
~Llew
Why thank you, I am going to stick with PercyxHemera now actually it seems to fit with the story I've wrote. I know mom fits in with a wider audience than mum but it feels unnatural writing mom for me. I know a Taurus I'm sure I do I just can't think of who off of the top of my head. Thank you for telling me what a beta is and I'm glad you're enjoying my story. JI UPDATED!
Dawn'sVampire
Okay your story is amazing and I really like how you're adding more people than just titans. You're adding Primordials and soon other gods I believe. The mentioning of runes and symbols and this power and raw energy is awesome. I also let me he s creations that he makes. I vote for Hemera and my vote 2 votes. ; )
My story isn't that great is it? I will be adding the gods, we're getting, albeit slowly but we will get there! Well you're wish is my command: Hemera is being paired with Percy. ;)
IceCaster2614
Now, this is the dam definition of a good story.
Ahhhh, great grammar, punctuation and a dam good plot, now this is paradise in Fanfiction.
And ya, you might need to whack it up to a T.
I reading this and looking out of the window and I'm like,
Dam you British weather, earlier on, it was raining. Then it was sunny, then it was rainy again.
Everyone's gotta hate Fort William
-/
Well I'm glad you're finding this story really dam enjoyable. I agree with you on the weather, I've been wearing wellies a lot recently to walk my dogs. I have whacked it up to a T.
On a completely unrelated matter, I love your story brother of thunder and hope you don't discontinue it. I have placed my vote on your poll.
Okay so I haven't included some reviews, that's because I'm receiving so many I can't respond to them all. But don't fear I read them all, I enjoy reading your reviews so unless your review contains a certain amount of something. I won't respond.
So without further a due: the story.
Yours.
~ Jess
BETA : INPERIOSUS
(27th October 2015)
Chapter Nine: A Mother's Anguish
The Day After Incident
Kronos watched mournfully as his eyes fell upon his mother, she was – to put it simply – a mess. Her hair was knotted and it eminently resembled to a bird's nest. Kronos wasn't aware of what his mother had been up to, in the last couple of hours. Be that as it may, her usual green dress, which seemed to have the inability to get dirty, was in tatters. Deep scratches ran down her cheeks as if she'd been clawing at it. Her tears mixed with the silver ichor gushing from the scrapes in her face.
He turned his gaze to the paper sprawled out in front of him. Krios had suggested that he should set down all the punishments and schemes of torture and torments, which he desired to subject to their father. All the same, Iapetus glared at his elder brother before turning to Kronos, the stern look on his face would be forever burned into his mind.
"Just write your thoughts down." Kronos was still hesitant to write. "Percy used to do it too." That was what it took, to assent Kronos penning it out. Krios stormed out the room, leaving Iapetus behind with a smug smile on his face.
Kronos sat at his desk in his room, he could not think of a single word to write. Kronos once again gazed out of his window, his mother now sat on her knees, forehead pressed to the ground. He pressed his pen on the paper.
Kronos' log,
Mother hasn't been the same since that distasteful excuse for a father decided to do the unthinkable. Ouranos deserves to rot in Tartarus for what he's done – to have the flesh slowly removed with…
My thoughts are… muddled up! I'm not sure what to think anymore. I'm only six years old and I already think like someone much more mature. It maybe the fact we immortals are known to age faster, but I doubt that. It isn't a hidden fact that my future domain is to be time, this might be the cause of me being mentally more mature, than I seem. Or perhaps, it's the fact I've seen more of the mess known as life, than my siblings and it's driving me insane.
Percy. Percy has most likely seen the horrors of Tartarus itself with that haunted look in his eyes. I'm not sure what to think of him anymore…
Kronos let a frustrated scream rip from his throat. His hands reached up and began massaging his temples, he honestly didn't know what to think anymore.
Getting himself on his feet, Kronos sighed. He might as well bring his mother inside. Dark clouds were rolling across the sky, it would storm again tonight.
Dragging his feet sluggishly across the cold stone floor, he dragged his hand along the old mahogany walls, not built for the amount of rainfall they'd had recently. The rotting wood came away beneath the tips of his fingers, the once high proud ceiling looked as though it would collapse at any moment.
Unwillingly, Kronos let the warmth of his body escape him as the cool winds seemingly picked up from nowhere, chilling him down to the bone. He hugged himself. Moving against the wind he forced himself on wards, forcing one foot in front of another. Despite his maturity and intelligence, he was still a six year old hoping not to be carried off by the wind.
He laid a hand upon his mother's shoulder, shaking it slightly.
"It's time to come in," his voice was barely above a whisper, but carried over the howling winds. She didn't respond. He shook her shoulder with a little more urgency, his grip tightening on her shoulder. It was all he could do to stay grounded.
"It's time to COME IN!" his voice raised in volume as he spoke in order to be heard above the wind.
At first she failed to respond – choosing to keep her head pressed to the ground - but soon slowly, hesitantly even, she sat up. Peeling her forehead from the inchor stained ground; she did not rise. Instead of his usually beautiful mother, a broken lady looked him in the eyes – unblinking – and screamed.
It wasn't a scream of frustration or annoyance but a scream of pure agony, as if his mother was being torn to pieces. She screamed and screamed and screamed. Not once stopping for a breath. The scream – more like screech – ripped through Kronos, making him want to call out in pain, but knew it would only be drowned out in the sound of the wind and his mother's sorrow.
His mother began clawing at her face, as if to peel something off, which nobody else could see. Still screaming in agony because of the invisible wounds no one else had the ability to see. He clutched his ears. The screaming continued. Kronos could only watch.
As he watched Kronos noticed that the scrapes on her face were not the cause of the ichor flowing down her face. The screaming got louder. The ichor appeared to be flowing from her tear ducts. The screaming once again increased in volume and pitch. He clutched his ears tighter in hopes to clear the dreadful sound out. It continued to increase in volume – how has anybody not heard it yet? Until it died.
His mother got up from her spot on the ground, seemingly unaware of the un-earthly sound she was recently creating and approached him.
"Oh Kronos, what are you doing out here? Can't you tell there's a storm – oh dear you're shivering, are you cold? Let's get you inside!"
She proceeded to gather his trembling form in her arms carrying him inside. He closed his eyes. Kronos could feel the warm droplets of ichor hitting his back. Yet, his mother remained blissfully unaware of the ichor falling from her eyes, her bird nest hair and tattered dress.
The rain began halfway home. They weren't that far from the house, were they?
The droplets of water relentlessly pounded at them. His mother's already hurried pace sped up even more until they were once again in the shelter the temple provided.
His mother placed him into his bed, sending him a stern look which practically screamed 'stay put… or else' Although, the look was spoiled by the ichor still leaking from her eyes. And just like that, she was gone.
Kronos bundled himself under his blankets, hoping to return some heat to his still trembling form. He let his eyelids drop; only for questions to come rushing to the front of his mind. What happened? What was that? Was mother losing it?
The last question really hit home for Kronos. Was mother losing it? He didn't know.
Slowly, Kronos pushed his still shaking form into a sitting position, shuffling himself over to his desk, he read over the words he had wrote earlier on.
Kronos' log,
My thoughts are… muddled up! I'm not sure what to think anymore. I'm only six years old and I already think like someone much more mature. It maybe the fact we immortals are known to age faster, but I doubt that. It isn't a hidden fact that my future domain is to be time, this might be the cause of me being mentally more mature, than I seem. Or perhaps, it's the fact I've seen more of the mess known as life, than my siblings and it's driving me insane.
Percy. Percy has most likely seen the horrors of Tartarus itself with that haunted look in his eyes. I'm not sure what to think of him anymore…
He sighed before picking up the paper, where it was written on and scrunching it up into a ball. Letting the ball tumble from his hand he dragged another piece of plain paper over and picked up his pen, willing his hand to steady and wrote:
I will find out who's doing this to mother and when I do… they'll have Tartarus to pay.
(October 28th 2015)
(Edited: October 28th 2015)
Was I to mean to Gaea? It didn't seem like I was being mean… sure it was a little messed up but hey *shrugs* I've read worse. Speaking of reading worse has anybody read: The Messenger Of Fear by Michael Grant? No? Yes? Well that's what got me in the mood for being mean to Gaea…
Anyhow, BIG thanks to my Beta for editing this chapter and making it AWESOME!
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