A/N: Hello again! I give you part two of Lost to the wind. Again, the prompt is: Lucy mourning over a dead Natsu.

So, apparently, I am still incapable of writing anything short, so this short, 1k one-shot/drabble turned into a 4k+ one-shot. So now, there's going to be three parts! This part is actually relevant to the prompt. Also, I know Lucy's words might seem empty, but remember, she's extremely emotional and vulnerable at this moment. She's just rambling, because she needs to get her feelings and emotions out; anything to escape the pain. To give you a sense of time, this is right after Natsu... died.

Note: This is unedited, so if there are mistakes, whether it's with characterization, spelling, grammar, whatever, please let me know! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

It was so stupid. So stupid. Why did this have to happen? To him of all people?! It wasn't fair! Out of everyone, why HIM?! Why it couldn't have been her instead? Stupid slayer. He was always trying to save her, trying to protect her. She had always been grateful. But ultimately, saving her had cost him his life. He paid with his life for hers. Why? Why? Why did he do that?

"WHY?!" Lucy screamed and screamed, not caring who was there or where she was. She didn't know that anymore. She was lost in her own world of grief, boxed up in her mind. Time and place were irrelevant. She had lost all concepts of time. She lost her heart. She lost her will to keep going. She lost her determination. She lost her hope. She lost happiness, and with it, her smile. She lost everything the moment she lost him.

Lucy drew in a shaky breath, sinking further down on her knees. A small pool of tears had gathered on the bed she was bent over. Natsu's bed. Before this, she had never even seen him sick. It was something to do with his dragon slayer magic. But in a space of a single week, Natsu went from healthy and extremely fit to dead. Natsu, the wild boy who made accomplishing the impossible a regular occurrence, was dead, and it was all her fault.

"It's all my fault," Lucy whispered. "I killed him." The scene of the last mission they had gone on replayed in her head, over and over again. Suddenly, Lucy was filled with anger. Her tears dried up as she screamed and yelled.

"Why, you moron?! Why did you have to worry about me? Why did you look away from your fight?! I can take care of myself; damn you and your instincts! You looked away from you fight to help me?! I was doing fine! I didn't need your help! But no, you just went right ahead and pushed me aside and took that shot for me! You injured yourself for me! Why, dammit?! Why?! Why the hell did you have to be so overprotective and fight for me?! I'm not some weakling who needs to be saved all the time!" Lucy took a breath.

"You let yourself get hit, didn't you?! You pushed me out of the way and took a shot meant for me... Why didn't you fight harder? Why didn't you dodge faster or run quicker? Why didn't you punch him in the face, like how you solve all your problems?! You didn't and you died! You're so stupid, flame brain! And then, when you became sick, why didn't you fight back against it? Didn't you know that you could die? You didn't even try to fight it. You just took it. You just let yourself become sick and let yourself die. You just LET yourself die! Weren't you thinking about us?! About what would happen if you were gone?! How could you do that to them? How could you just opt out of living?! How could you just take the easy way out and leave everyone else to suffer? How could you do that to them? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!"

Lucy sobbed again, her loud cries reaching out to the forest. "Why did you do that? Why did you intercept that shot meant for me? Why did you just allow yourself to get hit? Why did you have to save me? ... Why did you trade your life for mine?"

"You weren't supposed to die, dammit. I was. You just… died for me. Why did you do that? Was I really worth it? Was my life really worth yours? I don't think it was worth it, because now you're gone. You just left me here and I have nowhere to go now. I don't know what I'll do now. You were my best friend, even though I hated the way you never knock on my door. You were a part of my everything, and now you're just gone. What am I supposed to do? How can I do anything without being reminded of you? How can I go on missions without you and not have to lose half the reward money? How could I just go on and pretend like you're still here? Or like you were never here?"

"I'll tell you what. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to do anything now, I just want to cry and cry and cry. I just want let go of everything and give up. I just don't care about anything anymore, because now you're gone. I want to give up on life. But I know I can't, because I owe you this life of mine. You saved me, and I can't just throw that away. I have to live on, for your sake. I have to keep trying and not give up, because I know you wouldn't want to see me like this. You would be upset that I just gave up. But I don't know if I can. I don't know if anything I do will make up for what happened. I'm sorry, Natsu. It's all my fault. I should have appreciated you. I always yelled at you and blamed you for destroying towns and not getting reward money. But it was you. And now, I can't even think about anything without circling back to you. I can't do anything without being reminded of you, and it hurts. It hurts so much, because everything I do, say, feel and remember reminds me of you and I just want to give up."

"You just died, and I'm already like this. It's pathetic, isn't it? I'm on the verge of breaking and it hasn't even been so long since you left. Or maybe I'm already broken. Maybe inside, I'm already dead. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. You're gone, and everything just dropped from under me. The ground just crumbled, and it feels like I'm falling. I'm not sure if I can save myself. Not this time. It hurts so much, in my heart. How do you expect me to deal with this? It's all my fault that you're dead. I don't know how I'm supposed to go on living with that knowledge. I don't deserve to be here, Natsu, you idiot. But I am, and I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I can't just pretend like you're still here. I can't pretend like you were never here. No one can, because the guild wouldn't be the same with you."

Lucy cried silently as she whispered. The constant drip of tears onto the bloodied blankets matched the splatter of raindrops outside. "Look, Natsu. It's raining outside. Even the sky is crying for you. You would have hated it so much. Or maybe it's Juvia's tears? I don't know. I just… I just…"

She lifted her head to look at Natsu's unusually pale face. He looked at ease, peaceful, almost. Suddenly, she was aware. She saw the people crowded in Natsu's bedroom. She heard their cries and wails and sobs and yells and screams and whispers. She felt their distraught, their guilt, their regret, their despair. She was aware of everything. Lucy cried harder.

"You just went and died! Didn't you know what it would do to us? To me?! You left us with broken hearts and torn souls, Natsu! How are we supposed to fix that? How are we supposed to keep on living like before? We can't!" Lucy felt something brush at the back of her neck. When she turned around, teary eyed, there was no one there. "That's not what you want, is it. You can't stand this, I know that you can't. Of course you can't. You wouldn't want to see us like this, so pathetically crying over you. I know we should eventually learn to move forward. We're supposed to help each other stand up. We're supposed to move one and cover up that hole in our hearts. We're supposed to be ourselves. We're supposed to keep on living our lives. We're supposed to keep smiling every day, to keep laughing. We're supposed to! I know that! But we can't! We can't!"

"Natsu… I hate you. I hate you for doing this to us. I hate you for dying for me. I hate you for being so protective. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You're not allowed to just leave and think everything will be fine. You're now allowed to do things like break people's hearts! You're not allowed to do anything but be yourself and be alive! Why Natsu?! Why couldn't you just stay alive? It's all I want. I would give anything to see you alive again. Anything. All I want is to see you alive and well. I don't care if you're breaking into my house. I don't care if you fight with Gray. I don't care if you destroy towns. All I want is for you to come back and be alive. All I want. Is it so much to ask…? Why… Why did you have to die? Why…? Why… Natsu… why…"

As Lucy trailed off, she stared through blurry eyes at Natsu's pale face and grabbed his ice cold hand. The rain kept pouring outside. Thunder rumbled, lightning flashed, and raindrops became ice as then neared the ground. Everyone in the room and even those outside, in the rest of his little house, kept crying and mourning over him. Their tears wouldn't stop for a long time, Lucy knew, just like her own. Even though her voice had become hoarse, her tears never stopped flowing. She didn't know how long she sat like that, holding onto Natsu's hand, holding onto that last bit of her sanity.

Finally, too tired to even move, Lucy's red eyes closed and she fell forward onto Natsu's cold blanket covered body, swept away into haunted dreams of her pink haired dragon slayer.

A/N: I hope this part is okay too, and not too boring. Please drop a review if you have time; feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading!