Myrcella gazed longingly out the window to the fenced garden road beyond. It was so close, just a few feet, and yet she knew she could never reach it. Resignedly, she turned back to the task at hand, scrubbing the rough stone of the motherhouse floor. Her hands were soaked and wrinkled and her legs ached from kneeling on the cold stones for so long. The simple white shift she was forced to wear was drenched. And to make matters worse, she had only come halfway down the hallway. Hard work is a form of prayer, Septa Loraine had said, it teaches us humility before the gods.
You are no longer a princess, Loraine's words rang in her head, you are a bastard born of incest, and a shame to the gods. The Mother of the house would never miss an opportunity to belittle and mock Myrcella. She would give Myrcella the hardest chores, the most demeaning jobs, all in the name of teaching Myrcella her proper place in the world.
But Myrcella didn't want to be humble; she wanted to be free of this prison. I am a lioness, no matter what they tell me! I am not meant to be shut away like a common house cat! How dare they break all their promises and lock her up in a glorified dungeon! The fury at what they'd done to her consumed her. Myrcella attacked the floor with newfound ferocity as she thought of the way they had wronged her.
Lord Stannis had said that if she cooperated with them she wouldn't be separated from her brother and Lord Renly had promised her that he would make sure her mother and uncle were not harmed. But they had never really cared about her, she now saw through their lies. In a way the King had been the only one who had not deceived her, his refusal to see her and her brother was perhaps the most honest thing anyone had done, seeing as how they all deserted them afterwards.
And what had they done to Tommen? They said he was nearby in a local septry, but Myrcella hadn't been allowed to go beyond the gates of the motherhouse, much less visit him. Septa Loraine told her that she must stay here until she had said her septa's vows, and even then she would not be able to travel as she wished, only with the Septa's express permission, and Loraine would never let Myrcella do anything she wanted. It wasn't fair! Tommen was her brother for the gods' sakes! She should be able to see what her baby brother was doing! All she wanted was to hold him again, to run her fingers through his curls and to hear his bubbling laugh as they played.
Myrcella didn't realize she was crying, tears falling into the washbucket, until a comforting hand was placed on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw the kindly face of Septa Alicent. The septa smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry little one. I know it can be hard for new initiates, especially those who didn't choose to join our order." Alicent held out a hand to help her up. "I'll tell Loraine that you've gone back to your cell. Your evening meal will be sent to you there. I've often found some that some peaceful and solitary prayer will help calm the soul."
Myrcella clutched at the septa's grey robes as she sobbed into her shoulder. The older woman held her whispering soothing words and stroking Myrcella's golden locks. Myrcella hated herself for the tears she spent. Why was she crying? She was supposed to be a lioness, to be strong and not show any fear! This was shameful! What would her mother think if she could see Myrcella now? But she couldn't help herself, the tears would not stop.
Myrcella only came back to herself when she had been deposited on the small cot in her cell. The room was small and sparsely furnished, as befit a young initiate, only the cot and a chest holding spare shifts along with a copy of The Seven-Pointed Star.
Alicent looked down with a sad smile. "I'll leave you to your prayer little one," she said moving slowly to the door.
Myrcella sat up, "Wait! I just want to see my brother! Can't I see Tommen one more time?" Her voice quavered and she cursed herself for sounding weak.
Septa Alicent looked sad; if Myrcella didn't know better she might think the septa had tears in her eyes. "I…I'll see what I can do, little one," and made as if to leave. Then she turned back, mouth opened as if to speak, but just as suddenly she seemed to change her mind again and quickly left the room.
Myrcella tried to pray, she really did, but the words would come. Once, when she was a princess, she had practiced her embroidery to calm down and relax, but that was forbidden to her as a bastard initiate. She sighed, and took out her copy of The Seven-Pointed Star. It was the only book she had been allowed to bring with her from King's Landing all the rest she had been forced to leave behind. The pages fell open to the Maiden's Book. Myrcella was not the best reader, but she knew what it said. After all, she and the other girls had to learn most of the Maiden's hymns to recite for their morning prayers. Myrcella knew maidens were supposed to be chaste and demure and above all to remain pure. But Mother hadn't been any of that; she was a lioness, fierce and strong.
And the Maiden looked down upon the enemy force, and had pity for them, for they had not heard the teachings of the Seven and knew not what evils they did. And so the Maiden showed the foe mercy and kept them from hurt so that they might be spared and brought into the light of the Seven who are One. And in this way the Maiden gave the Andals the Gift of Mercy and taught the chosen people to forgive those who had done them harm.
Myrcella closed the book with a snap. How could she forgive the King and Lord Stannis and Lord Renly and all the rest for what they had done to her and Tommen? How could she forgive them for locking her away to spend the rest of her life as a septa, to watch her youth and beauty fade to dust and grow as old and wrinkled as Loraine? How could she forgive them for taking her life away from her? No, she couldn't, she wouldn't. Her mother wouldn't have stood by and let such things be done to her, and neither would she. She was a lioness and she would make them pay for what they had done to her.
Resolved, she knelt down and prayed. She prayed for a chance to one day be free of the motherhouse and to be free to go wherever and talk to whomever she pleased. She prayed to be able to see Tommen and rescue him from his imprisonment. She swore to all seven gods that one day she would get her revenge on those who had hurt her. "King Robert, Lord Stannis, Lord Renly…" she whispered.
I am a lioness, she thought lying on her cot waiting for sleep, and I will sharpen my claws and bide my time for a chance to escape this cage. And when I am free, I will turn my claws on my enemies and they will feel my rage.
