A/N: My all time favorite graphic novel is "Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth". It just so happens that this Suicide Joker is inspired by the book. On the same note, I will also be taking the elements in that graphic novel into my writing. If you haven't read it, you should. The art work is absolutely breathtaking. Also I am dying to see this movie and I have analyzed that trailer incredibly carefully, half mad myself.
"What do you mean I have to continue the sessions?" I asked. I felt as though the room was getting smaller and smaller, and the furniture was closing in on me determined to crush my ribs. I couldn't breathe.
"Your next session will be tomorrow at 10 am" Dr. Ruth Adams said with a disinterested voice. She was a brilliant doctor, and my superior. But she was also a complete hard ass.
"I was almost killed" I yelled, my hands thrown out in disbelief. The pen and clipboard that I was holding flew out in tangents. They hit the walls with a pang. Still Dr. Adams refused to look me in the face while she handed out my death sentence.
"We will strap him down this time" She sighed as if busy with a million other different things "You will be perfectly safe"
"Like hell I'll be" I retorted. She looked up at me finally. She had been looking down at her papers completely disregarding me until this point. Her sharp green eyes were tired and agitated.
"Careful with that tone, Ms. Quinzel. That's the kind of behavior we don't tolerate at Arkham" She said sternly.
I cleared my throat. I straightened out my blouse. I did whatever I could to regain my composure.
"I can't continue with these sessions" I said finally, shaking my head "This man has murdered hundreds of people. He has escaped this facility before... he could..."
She quickly cut me off. Talking about Joker's escape seemed to really irk her.
"Look... you can either show up tomorrow or don't show up anymore" She said angrily.
"Fine... I'll be there" I said curtly. I wanted to be angry though it seemed to waver into submission. I quickly walked out of the room and back into my office.
"That two faced... little.. bitc" I began to scream... then I noticed a single rose laying on my desk.
There was a note attached to it. I picked up the note. It was written in beautiful cursive, in deep blue ink on an eggshell colored tag.
"See you soon" – J
My hands were trembling. I dropped the note and it slowly zigzagged to the floor. How did he get up here? How did he do this? I was afraid that if I told anyone that he would come and kill me. Clearly he could get out of his cell if he wanted to. Clearly he could kill a man without any hesitation.
I carefully picked up the rose and dropped it into the waste bin. Then I washed my hands believing everything that this man touched was poison. It was the kind of poison that would seep into the mind and drive it mad.
The worst part of it all was that I couldn't even remember the last time a decent guy had sent me flowers. I suppose he was trying to be romantic, if only it didn't come off as completely insane.
I went home feeling a terror that wouldn't be assuaged by a hot shower or a good night's rest. I tucked myself into my sheets, half frighted that he would appear at the end of my bed with a gold plated AK-47. I kept looking at my window. I was sure he would appear on the other side of the glass even though I lived on the 23rd floor.
I barely got a wink of sleep before my 6:30 am alarm blared and woke me from a tremulous, restless night. I groaned into my pillow. Well... at least I was still alive so I should be thankful that I wasn't murdered in my sleep.
I put on a white blouse and a pencil skirt. I downed a cup of black coffee. I put on concealer to hide the dark circles under my eyes. Then I put on some eye shadow. I was so tired that I accidentally put pink on one lid and blue on the other. I cleaned it off and decided to forgo trying to look like I had gotten sleep. This was going to be a long day.
I walked into Arkham and straight to my office. Time seemed to pass rapidly. It was 9:45 am in the blink of an eye. I gathered up my papers. I walked down the corridor which seemed to stretch into eternity in front of me. I paused and leaned against the wall. I had to gather up what remained of my sanity.
"One hour and thirty minutes" I said to myself. That's all I had to last. I tried to harden my resolve. I would not be afraid...
No that was impossible.
I would appear not to be afraid.
I opened the door to the session room where just yesterday I was grossly violated by that blue eyed demon. As was promised he was strapped down completely to a lounge chair.
"Hello toots" He said, his eyes following me. I didn't acknowledge him to his delight. He laughed. I calmly, as I could, set my papers down. But his laugh chilled my blood into an icy slush.
"How are we feeling today... Mr. Joker" I said. Mr. Joker sounded as ludicrous as calling mass murderers, population control.
"Call me Mr. J" He said reading my thoughts. A shiver went down my spine.
"Fine... Mr. J" I agreed. He smiled contentedly as he strained against the strap on his forehead. He wanted to get a good look at me even as he was completely constrained to the chair.
"I am sorry that you are uncomfortable, but we cant have a repeat of yesterday's incident" I said as I looked down at my clipboard. Again I found myself terrified of meeting his eyes.
"Oh... yes. We can't have spilled coffee. Today it's a caffeine shortage and tomorrow it's anarchy" He said. Then he laughed as if he told me a hilarious joke. I wait for his laughter to die down
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about.. the.." I hesitated on the word. I wanted to be direct and stern but my words failed me. I remembered how heated he had been with me, and how he left bright red lipstick along my collar bone.
He looked at me quizzically, as much as he could managed being almost completely immobile.
"Oh... the kiss?" He asked.
"The assault" I retorted. Calling it a kiss was... laughable.
"Won't happen again... scouts honor" He said continuing to lift his head as much as he could.
The strap dug painfully into his forehead. Above the strap, the word damaged was clearly visible under his hair line. Him all tied up like a parcel, a perfect symbol for "Damaged Goods", I was tempted to smile if not for the intense despair in the pit of my stomach.
"Oh did you get the rose I sent you?" He asked politely. He knew perfectly well that I did. He was boldly mention it where everyone could hear. No doubt Dr. Adams would find out about it soon.
"Please refrain from sending me anything else... Mr. J" I replied, keeping my voice devoid of emotion.
"I was hoping to see you again, sweetheart" He laughed, his silver grin reflecting the lighting in the room.
"Well here I am... against my will" I accidentally admitted. He laughed again, like a ecstatic child.
"The lady doth protest too much" He quoted with regale.
I got up from my chair and closed the distance between us. His head was about an inch from the chair. I forcefully pressed his head down on to the chair so that it laid flat. His eyes focused intently at me, he wore smirk on his face. I tightened the already tight strap so that it bit into his flesh.
"Don't struggle against the restraints please" I said without a hint of politeness. I then realized what I was doing. My heart began rapidly pounding in my chest. I walked back over to my chair and sat down.
"I knew you were a spit fire" He said finally after a minute of silence.
I was filled with regret. He would come back and kill me for this. I knew it in my bones.
"Let's get back to the topic at hand" I said as though nothing of that had transpired. I felt a drop of sweat slowly falling down at my temple.
"Oh yes... what are you doing with your life? Why are you being eaten up by an all consuming emptiness" He asked as though he were the psychiatrist and I the patient. I remember reading about patients such as this in my studies.
"You like to be in control don't you, Mr. J" I said. I had hoped that my textbook knowledge would give be the upper hand but it sounded cliche even as I said it.
"Oh Harley... I'm not in control; you're not in control" He said exasperatedly "Only the invisible hand"
"God?" I ask, finally feeling like I was getting to a break through. My pen was a mere centimeter from my clipboard in eager anticipation. I would be the one to crack the enigma that is the crown prince of crime.
He laughed. It was so loud and menacing that the room vibrated. I was afraid and my body seemed to become rigid as though I were dead.
"No... the mind that dreams us into being" He said angrily all of the sudden "To the amusement of inbred retarded buffoons.
I quickly jotted down "Possible signs of schizophrenia" on my clipboard.
"So you feel that the world is a stage?" I asked looking to him. He wasn't trying to look towards me anymore. The straps wouldn't let him so he looked up at the ceiling with dreamy eyes.
"The will of the universe is chaos and I am it's agent" He said in smooth low syllables.
I was surprised about the incredible progress I was making. I was already thinking about the fame publishing a paper would bring me.
"Tell me about Batman" I asked getting to the point of his obsession. I felt bold.
"Batman?" He asks as though he knew nothing of the caped crusader.
"You know... the guy who beats you up whilst wearing bat pajamas" I said heatedly "Why are you so obsessed? Are you curious about his real face?"
My comment sent him into a fit of hysterical laughter. I held the clipboard close to my chest as if it would protect from the sound it. But the sound of it was like bullets ripping through my body.
"Don't be absurd" He said through fits of giggles...
"That is his real face" His said and then his laughter completely died.
"Don't you have any regrets on the many people you've killed" I pressed. Did this man lack all conscience?
"Comedy is messy" He replies as if that made perfect sense. I tapped my pen on my clipboard. This man …. he was infuriating. I wanted to run and yet I couldn't take my eyes off him.
I took out a pack of ink blot cards from inside a large yellow envelope. Dr. Adams had instructed me to write down what he saw on each card. I was hesitant; I expected all lies.
I walked over to him, like a bomb technician would approach half a ton of dynamite. I flipped the first inkblot in front of him.
It looked two people dancing to me.
"Two people doing the Charleston" He said smirking up at me. I shuddered. I felt as though he were inside my head. I wrote down his response.
I showed the second card which kind of looked like... certain parts of the female anatomy.
I flipped it over to show him.
"How about this one, Mr. J" I asked, clearing my throat.
He laughed.
"Oh my... I definitely see it too" He said suggestively at me.
He couldn't be reading my mind. He was reading me, and from the expression on face, guessing at what I was seeing. He was incredibly manipulative and emotionally intuitive. There were many that thought he was a sociopath. I knew now that was not the case.
Before long, I look over at the clock. Somehow it had been an hour and half. I had made it.
"Mr. J, I'm afraid we are done for today" I sigh with relief.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow... Harley" He said, lingering over my name. He flashed his silver grin at me as I all but ran for the door.
In the corner of my eye I see the orderlies sedate him before unstrapping him from the chair. Joker's body is slack as though the drugs have already severely affected him. Then suddenly he comes back to life again.
He lunges at me. He takes the sides of my head in hands. I feel his body pressing against my back. I feel his demons disguised in his human flesh.
The orderlies make their way towards at us. Joker harshly takes both sides of my head jerking it.
:"No... no … no...don't get any closer, else I could snap her neck" He said threateningly.
I expected to feel afraid, but I felt alive. And suddenly I understood what he meant by the invisible hand. I wasn't going to die today. My story was only just beginning.
I felt his hands loosen their grip on my head. It jerked my head back and smashed it into his nose. He stumbled backward. I had been a fantastic gymnast back in my hay day. I flipped on to my hands, my legs swinging into the air. It was a difficult feat considering that I was wearing a pencil skirt. Then I kicked the Joker in the jaw.
He didn't seemed to be deterred by the pain, in fact it seemed to encourage him. The orderlies had stepped back unsure of what to do. Once back on my feet, I took a swing at him but he manage to catch my hand and pin me to door. I swung my left hand at him next but he caught that as well.
I had trouble deciding whether to spit at him or head butt him again. Before I could decide he leaned in for another kiss. I bit his lower lip hard. I could taste his blood. It was then the orderlies suddenly grew their spines again. They pulled him off me forcing him to the ground.
He sank into a fit of giggles as more orderlies filed in to contain the situation.
"You said you wouldn't... scouts honor" I said, unprofessionally kicking him in the side.
"Sorry baby, I was never a boy scout" He said gasping from the pain. Did he even feel pain?
The orderlies had to separate me from the situation. They pulled me out of the room. I saw Dr. Adams running down the hall. I was raving mad at that point.
"I told you... I told you this would happen" I screamed at her accusing while struggling against the orderlies.
"You are in shock, Dr. Quinzel" She said dismissively. The orderlies escorted me to my office and locked me in.
"We'll be back in a minute. Please stay inside your office for now" They said then they rushed back in the direction of the Joker.
I paced in there for forty five minutes before they opened my door. Dr. Adams was there to greet meet alone.
"Dr. Quinzel, the Jokers finally been restrained. It looks like some how our supply of sedatives has been switched with fakes" She began. She sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for me to take a seat.
"I am sure you've also heard about the rose he left in my office" I said angrily as I sat down.
"He couldn't have done it personally. I think we have a spy in our midst" Dr. Adams said sternly. She seemed serious and finally ready to acknowledge my concerns.
"What should we do?" I said meeting her eyes. She looked apologetically at me.
"First and foremost, I want to apologize for putting you in danger." She said. She seemed genuinely sorry. I felt my hatred evaporate.
"You were just doing your job." I said forgivingly. Suddenly I was afraid that she would take me off the case. Why would I feel that way? Didn't I make it absolutely clear that I wanted no part of the Joker.
"I've assigned the patient to another doctor" Dr. Adams said, confirming my fear.
"No..." I said a little to quickly. She raised an eyebrow at me.
"What I mean is... we need to find out who is the rat in our midst and I have the best chance of finding out" I said weakly. She nodded.
"Harley... I've underestimated you. You have moxie" She said getting up. She extended her hand in a curt and friendly manner. I got up and shook her hand.
"We'll be monitoring every move. And this time we will have you treat him while he is behind reinforced glass. He'll be in the cell. We'll have two security guards right beside you" Dr. Adams said. Clearly she had been thinking this out. She had been hoping that I would go once again unto the breach. I sighed to myself. Why did I turn down her get out of jail card? Maybe I should be the one getting treatment.
The morning of the next session. I wore a red blouse, and tied my hair back into a high tail. Over it I wore my traditional white coat. I clipped on my identification badge hoping as if it would bring me symbolic protection.
I opened the door to my office. The previous night, it had been laden with medical journal pages. But today it was clear. Clear except for the blond carnival teddy bear wearing a big red bow tie around its neck,like a noose. It sat perfectly in the center of my desk. My first instinct was to run away and never return but I found myself slowly walking towards the bear. There was a tag similar to the first one, signed in royal blue ink.
"For my Pumpkin" - J
I realized that I had become the romantic interest of a raving lunatic. I didn't know whether to be flattered or absolutely horrified. I guess that I was both.
It was then that I heard the gunfire echoing in the halls.