Many thanks to: (kickassdani, DeeRoseWalker, Carefree98, Ennael, bourgainvillea blossom, SwordsDeath, TOOLAZYTOLOCKIN, Cloud Carnivore, Arathelia, Guest, amberwolf, blackred2death, Lucia Tsukiyomi-Hime)
Thank you for all your awesome review! And sorry, for the longer wait. But...exams. Ugh.
Questions:
Ennael: I understand your problem with writing in english perfectly. I can actually read and understand your comments (mostly) but I could never write in french myself. It so hard...T-T But yeah, anyway, if you have any question I would definitely help you! :D Also, both the Order and (especially) the Noah will get some screen-time too, so don't worry there.
Cloud Carnivore: Don't worry, Ciel and Sebastian aren't all that far away anymore. This chapter already foreshadows them a little. ;D
Warning! Not proof-read yet. But it's like four in the morning and I just don't manage that anymore. If you see anything wrong, tell me I'll correct it later anyway! :D
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously. Otherwise there would be lots more shirtless Tyki, Harrr
It's all a Matter of (Mis)perception
The next morning Tyki and Allen got up early. Allen, because he was still used to waking up at 6am sharp, and Tyki because he hadn't really slept at all. The floor sucked.
But whereas both of them had been up rather early, it had nearly taken them until nine to get properly dressed and ready to leave the hotel in order to finally get themselves some new clothes. If anyone were to later ask Tyki, just why two guys needed over two hours to get dressed, he would have given them various reasons, theories and complex explanations that didn't really make much sense, but eventually all lead back to one conclusion: Allen Walker was not a morning person.
It was one of the first things Tyki had found out about his travel-companion and at the beginning he had considered it a rather amusing thing.
Watching the boy's behaviour after waking up, had quickly turned out to be a great source of entertainment for Tyki. Especially since he had spent his first nights of his supposed holiday in dingy, little prison cells and was therefore feeling a little resentful towards the brat.
Allen's morning generally started with him waking up. Which seemed like an obvious and normal sort of thing, but really wasn't. Or maybe it was, but at least it wasn't nearly as boring as other's methods of waking.
It normally started with a growl.
At exactly 6am – and yes, Tyki had looked at the clock and was secretly impressed at the accuracy- Allen's stomach would give a very loud, very unnatural sounding sort of growl.
This sound, and probably the accompanying feeling of hunger, was what always woke the boy up in the early mornings. Allen would scrunch up his nose, furrow his brows, sit up in bed and only then open his eyes to stare down at his stomach in confusion.
A second loud growl would follow, accompanied by a small groan that suspiciously sounded like the word "food".
Now, to the untrained observer it would seem that, at this point, the boy was definitely awake. After all, he was moving, talking and had his eyes open. Tyki however, being as observant as he was, knew this to merely be a facade. A lie, possibly created to keep others from trying to wake the boy any further. Because, even if he seemed awake at first glance, the Portuguese was sure that at least parts of the boy's brain were still somewhere in the middle of REM sleep.
Because Allen's already horrible sense of direction was even worse in the mornings. So much, that it even affected his ability to orientate himself in a single room. He had a tendency to stumble over things, walk into walls and to stare in a random direction for a good five minutes before apparently deciding it was the wrong one.
That, of course, made the process of getting dressed a little bit harder too.
And a whole lot more amusing of course.
But, as foreshadowed before, Tyki had only been able to find amusement in this for so long. Because naturally, like with everything else nice in Tyki's life, there was a downside to it. Which translated meant, that while at first fun, the boy's habit's quickly proofed themselves to be very detrimental to the Noah's physical and mental wellbeing.
Mostly because the brat had the tendency to sporadically try to kill Tyki.
No, not because he was a Noah and the other an exorcist or anything. Nothing so silly. Maybe it was the long hair, the smell of cigarettes or his naturally good looks, but somehow, somewhere in his very confused mind the boy had apparently managed to confuse him with Cross Marian. Which wasn't half as funny as it sounded.
Most of the time the exorcists just ignored the other's presence and just walk around mumbling incomprehensible stuff and mapping out the room via involuntary touch-perception. Sometimes however, the brat would suddenly look startled and stare at Tyki as if he had seen a ghost. What followed was usually a very abrupt and violent reaction that included swearwords, tears and more often than not an innocent claw at his throat. Once the boy had even tried to jug a bed at him after figuring out that throwing Tyki out of the window didn't work (It had been in prison and there had been bars).
All in all this behaviour was both a little disconcerting and a real downer for Tyki's mood. Especially since, after the previous day, he didn't want that claw anywhere near his person.
But he was digressing.
The gist of this was, that if it took them a good two hours to get ready it was all Allen's fault.
So it was roughly eight o clock when the two of them started their little venture outside of the pub and began looking for some proper clothes.
"That looks absolutely horrible" Allen stated after giving Tyki a once-over. "Those clothes don't suit you. They make you look fat. And with those glasses and the stubble on your chin you look like you have just crawled out of a dumbster. Or spent the night in East End. Same thing, really."
"Why, thank you" the Noah replied with a grin, happy to have the other's approval. "I wished I could say the same thing about you, but your attire hasn't changed all that much."
"True" Allen noted, "But I'm going for travelling entertainer not hobo, so it should be alright."
The two of them were currently in the small clothes shop that they had spotted the previous day. As expected, the assortment was quite cheap and painful to the eye. When they had entered the shop, the owner had been quite surprised to see two men with dirty but obviously expensive clothing willing to buy from him. His surprise had only doubled when they had proposed an exchange. Their current clothes against two sets from his ones. He would have been stupid not to accept that deal, especially since the taller man's clothes were made of some of the finest materials on the marked and probably worth more than his shop anyway.
So here they were, trying on clothes and making themselves look less presentable.
"I think I'll take this" Tyki decided after looking himself up and down in the mirror again.
"But of course" Allen supplied "they look absolutely horrendous!"
"Quite hideous, yes." the shop-owner answered, having been there to hear the whole conversation. He wasn't quite sure what the two men were trying to do, but he had the sneaking suspicion that making themselves look good was certainly not the aim. "Well, if you want they are yours..."
"Brilliant!" the white haired man smiled back at the owner. The shop-owner had noticed that, between the two strangers, it was mostly the younger one making the decisions. It was curious, especially since the man was a lot younger than his companion. 'Late teens' the shop-owner figured, 'sixteen, maybe seventeen'. But in these parts of London that was hardly considered a child anymore, people had to grow up fast, so the he didn't comment on it.
"Will this be all then?" he asked instead.
"Well, yes...only..." the white haired one trailed off for a second, apparently deep in thought, before continuing. "You wouldn't happen to have a clown costume, would you?"
"Ehm...no, sadly not. But maybe I can find one for you? If you give me a few days...maybe..."
"Oh no! That's fine!" the other quickly waved off "It was just a random thought, no need to try so hard."
"We're done then, shounen?" the taller man stepped up behind his companion. "I feel like playing some card games and having a smoke. So let's go."
"Yes, sure" Shounen - was that even a name? - replied "Well then, goodbye and have a nice day."
"Goodbye" he merely replied and watched the two of them leave, something like relieve blooming in his chest.
It was curious. Very curious. The two of them had certainly seemed nice and generous enough. He should have been happy about their visits. And yet, during their whole visit there had been this feeling of dread in his stomach. Telling him to run away. As st and fast and far as he could.
He shook his head, trying to clear it.
But as much as the shop-owner wanted to forget and ignore the sensation, it would be these feelings of dread, and not the fact that he had made a small fortune because of them, that would make him remember the two strange visitors. Especially when later being questioned by an equally as strange duo of master and servant.
Allen knew he wasn't the best with directions. He also knew that he had an uncanny talent to suddenly find himself in dangerous places or situations. Normally a very bad combination. But Allen being Allen, and therefore used to making the best out of completely shitty circumstances, knew how to use these things to his advantage.
It was quite obvious once you thought about it. It was also what, in the past, had given him the unprecedented ability to always find his way back to Cross Marian. Something that should have been impossible when considering the other's talent at vanishing and not giving a fuck about his student.
The trick was easy.
All he had to do was to honestly try and get as far away from a certain place as possible. In the past that had mostly been wherever his master was currently at. So, all he had to do was to try and get the hell away from somwhere and voila! His unique combination of absolute lack of direction and magnetism for getting in trouble would almost certainly lead him to whatever place he wanted to get away from.
So yes, he could find his way around.
The only downside was, that the trick only worked to get to bad places though.
But right now that didn't matter. Because right now he was doing his best not to land himself in one of the more dangerous areas of London.
"Have you been here before?" Tyki questioned him while walking beside him.
"Nope."
"You really seem to know your way around though" the Noah continued, throwing him a distrusting look "You aren't just getting us lost again, right?"
"No. I know where we'll land" he replied. It wasn't a lie.
"So you know the way for sure?"
"I never said that. I just said that we'll arrive there one way or another."
Tyki nearly stopped walking at that, but instead settled for just glaring down at him. "So you are getting us lost after all. Can you at lest tell me where we're going then?"
"To a bad, bad place" Allen responded before realizing how lame that had sounded. "Don't worry, I'm sure there will be enough people to cheat out of their money there."
"Aha." Tyki was clearly sceptical. "And how much further is it to this 'bad, bad place'?"
"Ehm..." Allen tried to come up with an answer as they rounded another corner. Looking up he suddenly saw a lot more colours, lanterns and foreign faces around him. They were in china-town. "We just arrived!"
"Really?" the Noah next to him sighed, annoyed. "You just got lucky. I know it."
"Don't be silly. That was talent."
"But of course."
As the two of them made their way through the streets, Allen couldn't help but feel a little exited at all the foreign goods, smells and people. He had been fond of foreign cultures, finding them to be extremely interesting. And he was especially interested in China. After all, China was a big country, rich of culture and knowledge and everything. It even had its own version of the Mafia - the Triads, which Allen figured were kind of cool because they had this code of honour thing going on. Not that he knew all that much about their inner workings, because while he was certainly willing to learn, he was not exactly on speaking terms with some of them.
And of course there were Pandas!
He really, really wished he had encountered one of those fluffy, little things during one of his stays in China. But sadly he never seemed to find the time. His last stay had ended somewhat badly (with nearly dying and everything), and on previous visits with Cross he had been too busy earning money to explore the country. Maybe he should go there with Tyki some time later?
"Hey, how about this one?" Tyki asked, nudging the young exorcist in the side and pointing towards a building to their left.
"That's an opium house."
"I know" the Noah replied happily "One of the best places to gamble. Most people in there are about as high as you can get, before suffering from a seizure or suffocating on your own vomit that is. You don't even need to cheat properly since they wouldn't notice the difference anyway."
"Sounds lovely" Allen agreed. The fumes in the place would practically make it childsplay for them. Especially with the way his parasitic innocence kept him from being affected by most drugs and therefore capable to keep a clear head in this kind of environment. And judging from Tyki's attitude - and his conspicuous lack of any form smoker's cough despite his smoking habits – he assumed the same went for Noahs.
"Well then, let's go. I really wanna sleep in a bed tonight."
That evening Tyki and Allen were in very high spirits as they made their way back towards their hotel.
The opium den had been both - a lot of fun and very productive. At least until the owner of the place had turned up, given Allen a very long and very pointed look, before unceremoniously throwing both of them out of his establishment. Even so, Tyki was still giddy about practically robbing a bunch of helpless humans of their possessions, especially since he could finally afford a bed. And Allen was generally very fond of money.
Being in a good mood also gave both of them a very different outlook on life. As they walked through the drab, grey streets of London, they suddenly realized, that most of their past problems and woes could also be seen from a positive perspective. After all, didn't every bad experience also teach them lessons for life? Even their current worries were only half as bad as they had made them out to be. In retrospect, they figured, they had always taken things way to seriously.
Or, in other words, their whole reasoning was strikingly similar to the way a completely wasted person saw the world.
And yes, it was possible that they had slightly overestimated their respective resistances to opium.
"...so you see maybe it was good that she kicked me in the balls. Because I learned not to tell a woman the truth if they ask you if you think they are fat" Tyki finished his tale.
"Sure seems like it" Allen agreed happily. "I always wanted to see a panda."
"Oh?"
"Well, yeah but it never really worked out, you see? Especially since the last time I was in China you nearly killed me."
"Oh, sorry" Tyki replied, felling slightly guilty. Then he perked up again "But as a result your innocence evolved. And then you tried exorcising me with it."
"Oh, right. That's good then I guess" the white haired boy nodded to himself. "And you got stronger too, no?"
"Guess so" the Noah agreed before frowning slightly "At least I think I did... I'm not quite sure to be honest. Actually it just hurt like a bitch and made controlling my powers somewhat harder."
"Uhm..." Allen frowned too, trying to think up something positive about this. Then it clicked. "You hair! Your hair got longer. It looks good that way."
"You're right! Why didn't I think of that?"
"Because, obviously, I am smarter than you. Now it's your turn."
"Okay, let's see...there was certainly something good about..." Tyki desperately tried to come up with any bad, past experiences he knew Allen had made. Oh, right!
"There was certainly something good about that Mana guy's dead!" he exclaimed loudly.
Allen just stared at him in shock, mouth hanging slightly open.
"I mean. Surely...you learned...something, right?" Tyki tried to explain himself.
"Uhm..." the boy finally managed to say "...maybe..I mean when..."
"When?" the other urged him on.
"Well …there is certainly one thing I learned from when I nearly turned Mana into an Akuma four years ago."
"That the dead should stay dead, because creating life is the territory of God?" Tyki tried in an uncharacteristic show of wisdom.
"What? No" Allen threw the man an angry look that clearly showed just how retarded he thought that answer was. "I learned to never trust a stranger, no matter how kind or charming his smile might be."
"Ah, okay." Tyki said, letting his eyes wander over their surroundings lazily. Then he backtracked.
"Ah, okay." Tyki's sanity repeated, in a vain attempt to keep him from contemplating the last statement. But sadly, Tyki rarely listened to his sanity. And maybe he was a little high.
So he contemplated.
And came to a horrible conclusion.
"You..." Tyki started only to quickly trail of again because he was honestly afraid to ask. Mostly because he felt like he knew the answer already. Still, he had to do this, if only to be completely sure of his sneaking suspicion that Allen Walker was completely and utterly nuts. "...You are referring to the Millennium Earl aren't you?"
"Huh?" Allen just frowned at the question "Sure, I mean, there weren't exactly any other people around back then."
The implications behind boy's answer were so disturbing, that they made reasoning and common sense slam back into Tyki so hard that even Cross Marian... well, yeah you get the reference.
"Just to clarify. You just described the Earl as having a charming smile?" Tyki purposely voiced it as a question in the hope that it would make the statement feel somewhat less wrong. It didn't work.
"Yes?" Allen just stared at the Noah as if he was the one being slow on the uptake.
Tyki simply stared back. He was trying his best to wrap his head around the idea that anyone could find the Earl's appearance not completely disturbing and utterly creepy. That didn't work either.
So he searched for an alternative explanation.
Then he had an idea.
"Wait, he wouldn't have happened to have approached you in his human form?" the Noah continued in what he felt was a stroke of genius. Or maybe a further attempt at denial. Whatever. After all, if the Earl had been in 'Adam'-mode, Tyki could see how the man would seem trustworthy or maybe even charming. "Old geezer in his forties? Stubbly chin? With an obvious top-hat obsession?"
"The Earl has a human form?" the young exorcists asked perplexed, before considering the matter some more "Oh, well I guess that makes sense. He probably only dresses up like a clown to make it easier for people to fall for his evil ways. Quite the nefarious plan, really."
"So you really think his Clown-form is charming?" the Noah repeated simply, not really caring that he had just given away one of his clan's better kept secrets.
"Of course. It's a clown. It's supposed to be charming."
"So you really think his Clown-form is charming?" the Portuguese tried again.
"You already asked that" Allen replied somewhat annoyed "What the hell is wrong with you, Tyki?"
"With me? I'm perfectly fine, thank you. But what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing at all. I just really don't get what your problem is."
"My problem is the fact that you don't seem to notice the difference between a charming smile and a psychotic grin the size of Canada. Or even a cemetery and a park for that matter."
"I have no idea what you are talking about" Allen replied dryly.
"Then how about this" the Noah tried to better describe his point "The Earl's looks are about as charming as Kanda Yuu's language on a Monday morning."
"How do even know what Kanda is like on Monday mornings?" Allen asked slightly baffled.
"That's not the point! The point is that the Earl's looks make children cry and eyes bleed. Mirrors break when he nears them, rivers dry up, flowers wilt and the boogeyman has nightmares of him."
"Okay...you realize he is you boss, right?" Allen gave him a slightly concerned look, raised eyebrow and all. "Are you supposed to talk about him like this?"
Tyki didn't even deign this with an answer. Not after hearing how the young exorcists talked about his own teacher. Noticing this, Allen just gave a sight and decided to at least try and defend his point.
"You are exaggerating."
"I'm not."
"Don't be stupid. If he really looked that scary, nobody would be dumb enough to make a deal with him" the boy reasoned.
"That- " Tyki started, but suddenly didn't really know how he had planed to continue the sentence. Because somehow – and Tyki really didn't know how he managed to do that- but somehow the brat had a point there. Why were so many people making a deal with someone like the Earl, who's whole appearance basically screamed 'Weirdo'? Surely, that should clue most people in to the fact, that there was something wrong with the man? Still...there were so many Akumas...
For a second, Tyki found himself reconsidering his opinion of the Earl's looks. Because maybe the boy was right? Maybe the costume really made the Earl look more approachable, and it was just Tyki's personal adversion to Clowns that made the costume so terrifying in his eyes? It was a Clown-suit after all, and most normal people liked clowns. So, maybe, the huge grin, pointy ears...tiny glasses... and voluminous body...
Right. Bad images.
Because try as he might, Tyki could not even picture the Earl without feeling a shudder run down is spine. Whatever the reason for the Earl's many contracts might be, it was most certainly not because of his looks. Not everybody was as screwed up in the head as the boy after all.
'Still, for now', he decided, 'for now I'll leave it at that. There is obviously no point in arguing about this any further.'
Because this ultimately cemented the fact that the young exorcists was suffering from his own little branch of insanity, and if Tyki knew anything about insane people then it was that arguing with them was pointless. And he lived with the other Noahs, so he was more than used to dealing with crackpots.
Still, that didn't mean he was giving up. Because Allen only suffered from some minor perception problems and surely that could be fixed with a bit of help? Actually, Tyki was suddenly sure, that with some time and a little bit of effort, he could make the boy see the error of his ways. After all, as long as Allen wasn't going completely off his rocker (like a certain niece of his) there was still hope.
And who better to guide him back on the part of sanity than Tyki himself?
So, yes, Tyki eventually decided. He would help the boy.
And of course he would do so out of the sheer goodness of his heart. For completely altruistic reasons. And not in the slightest because he was dreading the idea of being the sanest Noah around, or because he was slowly beginning to get creeped out a little.
Nope, Tyki was going to help the boy simply because he was such a good person.
So, in order to properly convey the importance of the decision he had just made, he looked down at the boy with a grave expression on his face. He then put his hands on the other's shoulders in a fashion that was supposed to be reassuring and nodded once he was sure he had the other's full attention.
"I'll help you" he declared in a tone of finality and completely ignoring the fact that the other didn't hear his inner momolouge and therefore had no idea what he was even talking about. "Don't worry, I'll definitely help you and together we'll get through this."
For a few seconds there was an awkward kind of silence between them, in which Allen just stared back with a slightly perturbed expression.
Then, slowly, as not to disturb the other, the boy carefully pulled the Noah's hands from his shoulders and put an equally as reassuring hand on the other's arm instead. When the exorcists noticed that the other still seemed to be waiting for some kind of response to his utterly random statement, he simply smiled and responded with a calm voice.
"Whatever you say, Tyki. Whatever you say."
Omake:
Later that evening.
The two of them were back in their room and Allen was sitting on the bed, counting his money, while Tyki had rested his head on the windowsill, obviously deep in thought and watching the sun disappear behind the horizon.
"Just out of interest" Tyki dared to ask after a while "What do you think of Road?"
"Road?" Allen asked a little perplexed. "Aside from the fact that she's a Noah you mean?" he scrunched up his nose in concentration "Well, sometimes she goes a little overboard with her games..." he said, remembering the time she had gauged out one of his eyes, "...but all in all she's pretty cute I guess?"
"Ah. Okay" Tyki said simply and continued to gaze into the sunset.
Because, obviously, the boy was beyond help.
Not that either of them wanted to admit that.
Another chapter done. And yes, I'm shamelessly advocating AllenxRoad.
It's a little less humorous I guess (or maybe that's just me) but it sets the stage a little. So, some hints about our little Earl and his butler. I was considering where to place Tyki and Allen in the Kuroshitsuji plot, but eventually figured that the mere presence of these two should be enough to cause enough problems to get a case of their own.
And now that Tyki has officially sworn to help Allen, let's see how badly he'll mess up.
But somehow this chapter felt so random.
Cheery-O