Author's Note:

I'M BACK!

Hello everyone and apologies for the very long absence. I wandered off into the 'How to Train Your Dragon' fandom and I'm actually still largely there but the recent reviews for my Star Trek stuff caused me to write this chapter for you all. I can't promise that I'll be as active here as I once was, I'm in the middle of a trilogy for HTTYD and I've not actually seen the most recent Star Trek movie. However I may get more inspiration for this collection of one-shots but don't expect any more plot based stories for this fandom anytime soon, I might start updating my Star Trek/HTTYD crossover again but we'll see how it goes.

This chapter is pretty short but I hope it serves as a suitable reappearance after being gone from here for so long. Thank you everyone for continuing to support this story despite the fact I've been gone for ages and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

I own nothing.

Admirals and Wigs

Jim really wanted to know who he had to blame for this.

The Enterprise was transporting an ambassador to a series of talks with one of the Federation members, they were also transporting Admiral Archer to the same talks as he represented Starfleet. Normally the aged admiral wouldn't be required for such things but he'd been personally invited to the talks by those involved so he'd agreed to go.

Such drop-off missions were very much routine for a Starfleet vessel though the Enterprise didn't do many because of her ground-breaking five year mission. This time however she'd been the only ship available for a variety of reasons and had taken both Admiral and ambassador aboard. As expected things were quiet and apart from the expected snobbishness Jim had come to expect from ambassadors there'd been nothing to break the monotony of daily duties.

Then someone had thought it would be a good idea to get a rainbow wig and then glue it to the ambassador's head while he was sleeping.

It had taken Jim all of his self-control to not burst out laughing when the irate ambassador had stormed onto the bridge with said wig on his head to rant at him about his 'disrespectful, immature and childish crew'. Somehow the captain managed to keep his face respectfully straight and convince the ambassador that yes he would do what he could to rectify the problem and that he would make inquiries and suitably discipline the crewmember responsible.

Slightly mollified the ambassador went with Spock who knew a way to safely and painlessly get the glued on wig off and left Jim to try and work out which member of his crew had pulled this one.

Funny as it was he was well aware of the heat that could come down on his head from the Admiralty for this one. Likely it would only amount to a verbal reprimand and a mountain of unnecessary paperwork but he hated paperwork with a passion and he really was not happy that he was probably going to be wasting a lot of time on it after this.

Mentally he began running through all the likely suspects.

Number one was Scotty, the engineer liked his pranks and if the ambassador had done something to upset the Scotsman (like touching anything in Engineering) then he might've been responsible. However Jim wasn't aware of such a thing happening and he didn't think that Scotty and the ambassador had even crossed paths so that crossed him off the list.

Hikaru was next likely, the Helmsmen was equally fond of pranks but he knew better than to do anything to an ambassador unless said man had done something to upset him or anyone else. As far as Jim knew such a thing hadn't happened so that rendered that possibility as unlikely.

Next down was Pavel but the teen had only just been released after Jim grounded him after the incident with the water system and the frogs the boy had got from somewhere (the whole system was disabled for a couple of days as Scotty tried to fix the damage the boy's attempted prank had caused). He wouldn't risk another grounding so soon and he had been as good as gold ever since that particular so that ruled him out.

Nyota and Bones would never do something so childish, Nyota had too much respect for authority and that sort of prank was not the doctor's style at all. Spock was out for obvious reasons and Jim seriously doubted that anyone else in his crew would be bold enough to do something like this to a non-crewmember without prior riling up, especially with Admiral Archer on board…

Wait a minute.

Jim shook his head, no he would never do this. Archer may enjoy hearing the stories of the pranks and crazy events that happened on the Enterprise but he wouldn't prank the ambassador himself, he was far too respectable. Then again he'd been travelling with the man for a week on the Mayflower where they'd picked him up and he was certain the man looked pretty tired of the ambassador's snobbishness last night when they'd had dinner together so maybe…

Deciding to find out the truth Jim got up from the Command Chair and headed off to Admiral Archer's quarters.

He politely knocked on the door and he heard the man grant him permission to enter.

Coming in Jim found the Admiral sat in a chair waiting for him and as usual the man waved off the salute and gestured for him to sit down. As he did so Archer smiled at him, "What do you want Jim?"

The young captain hesitated before finally speaking casually, "I just had the ambassador on the bridge."

"Did you really. What did he want this time?"

Archer's voice betrayed nothing but interest and Jim paused before answering, "It seems that last night someone snuck into his quarters and stuck a rainbow wig on his head while he was sleeping."

"I bet he was pretty unhappy about that."

Keeping his voice casual Jim continued, "I don't suppose you would happen to know anything about it?"

"I'm afraid I don't Jim, whoever did it was quite bold."

As he spoke the admiral looked innocent…too innocent and Jim simply raised an eyebrow.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Archer burst out laughing, "I must say Jim you've really mastered that look, Spock must have been giving you lessons in eyebrow raising."

Jim just sighed, "You did do it didn't you?"

The man grinned just a little too happily, "Yes, yes I did. I my defence that man has been driving me mad for the better part of two weeks so I decided to have a little fun."

The captain placed his head in his hands, "You know how much paperwork this is going to get me. The ambassador will be expecting confirmation that a disciplined the one responsible but I can't do that if said person is my superior!"

Archer patted his shoulder consolingly, "Don't worry Jim, just tell him that you've dealt with it and I'll handle the rest. You're not going to get a mountain of paperwork because of me."

Jim glowered at him threateningly, "You better."

"I will, promise." Archer smiled, "Please tell me you can get pictures of it."

Jim grinned back, "I'm sure I can."

PS-So short and relatively simple but there we are. Please let me know what you thought and any chapter suggestions are welcome.