Carry On

By: Teenlaunch

Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing if I owned it.

a/n: Well, my beta has talked me into putting this one out early. I must agree that I owe you all for sticking with me. As you read this I am working on the next few chapters. However, even if I finish them tonight, they will not be put up immediately. I have a lot more work to do and can't give you all I have at once. Don't worry. We're getting to the part you all are dying for, if the reviews are anything to go by. Please read and review.

a/n 2: Okay people, I really would like every one of you who haven't voted on my poll to participate this time around. It is a poll asking which storyline/plot you would be most likely to read. Choices now have summaries at the bottom of my profile. Please go read them and vote. Seventy-six is not a big number to go by.

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Harry looked around the classroom in agitation. Slughorn had always made his life hard, but making them work in pairs was murder! Potions was the one class Remus didn't take, meaning Harry didn't have a partner. Remus had always been horrible at actually making the potions and had dropped it after his OWLs. Lily was working with Alice and Sirius with James. Bellatrix and some Ravenclaw were working together and the Hufflepuffs were already paired. That only left one person for Harry: Severus Snape.

Harry sat down beside the greasy-haired Slytherin and set to work, trying to keep his dream from only days before from intruding. Not a word passed between the two. Snape silently passed ingredients to Harry, who prepared them and added them to the potion at his partner's nod. It was odd, Harry thought, that he could work so well with a man who had always criticized his work and had not once corrected him as they worked together. But Harry had realized not long before that his lack of skills in potions was not due to his incompetence but to the man's teaching methods. It made all the difference when he brewed potions on his own. He wasn't a master, but given time he could get most potions right, though it might take him longer than others.

Snape stirred the potion almost lazily. When he sat back in his chair, Harry cleared his throat. Snape glanced at him and grunted in response. Harry got up and started cleaning up their table as he spoke quietly. "You're extremely good at potions, Snape. I had a teacher a lot like you. You wouldn't believe how similar you are."

Snape just grunted again, showing his obvious dislike of the Gryffindor. "I'm sorry about attacking you in the hall. It was merely self-defense. Can you blame me?" Snape frowned and watched the potion. Harry sighed. "I am not James Potter you know." Snape tensed. "I didn't hex you because I wanted to. In fact," Harry acted as though he was having trouble with the bottles. "I thought we might be able to become acquaintances even."

"Me, friends with a mudblood-loving Gryffindor?" Snape laughed.

Harry sat down and turned to him. "And we already have a disagreement. I do not like that word, Snape. I have found I have little tolerance of it."

Snape sneered. "Is that so? I have found I have little tolerance for Gryffindor know-it-alls."

Harry raised an eyebrow as he bottled their potion. "I thought that you had it figured out by now that not everything is as it seems. I have chosen to believe such in your case and I'm letting you have a second chance. I suggest you take it."

The bell rang and Harry turned in their potion. As he was gathering his books he glanced at Snape who was glaring at him. "Good day, Prince."

Snape's head shot up and Harry walked out of the classroom. He was halfway to Gryffindor Tower, behind the four Marauders, when he realized what he'd said. Snape was going to be a nightmare now.

----

Harry groaned and slumped in his seat. He was doodling absentmindedly on one corner of his parchment, thinking. The past few days had been very interesting. He had started tagging along with his mother. It was like he'd always dreamed. She was sweet and gentle, but stern when she needed to be. But now James hated him even more. He just couldn't win.

But on the bright side, he'd finally started to work out, what with having so much time to himself. He took any spare time he had and went to the Room of Requirement. He hadn't tried to progress too far yet. He just needed to build his stamina and was working slowly toward that goal. He had begun taking an extensive run each morning, successfully waking up long before the rest of the school. It wore him out but guaranteed a near peaceful sleep. Snape had been trying to corner Harry lately but Harry hadn't let him yet. He wasn't ready to face his former potions master. He made sure Snape stayed away from him by studying with Remus or Lily.

A voice snapped him rudely from his thoughts. "Professor Century?"

"Yes, Mr. Nott?"

"Will we cover the Unforgivable curses this year, sir?"

The Defense class went quiet. Frank was unfortunate enough to drop a bottle of ink and it shattered on the floor, making everyone jump. Harry glanced at Lupin. His face was drawn and an unhealthy white. "Well, I…I hadn't thought-"

Harry could tell how flustered he was. Lupin hadn't planned on it, but, Harry realized, he would have to cave in. If someone had to ask, a future Death Eater at that, then they needed to know. Lupin gulped visibly as they all watched him.

Harry sighed. "Yes. In fact, let's have a small quiz now." Lupin's eyes widened slightly and swiveled to Harry. "Please?"

Lupin nodded reluctantly. "Someone tell me what you know about the Unforgivables."

Everyone was quiet. Harry saw even the small handful of Slytherins were staring at their teacher. Lupin growled. "This is not a subject I will dwell on. If you want answers, you must ask now or wait until I am ready."

Harry watched every student as they shifted in their seat. Sirius shrank down in his chair and mumbled. "I know there are three."

James and Remus shifted uneasily. Remus murmured, "They are all classified as Unforgivable because they attack three of the most vulnerable parts of a human being: their free will, their body, and their life."

"Correct. Can anyone tell me what they are?" Lupin asked, his eyes locked on James' face, eyes shining slightly with unshed tears.

Everyone was quiet. Harry couldn't believe it. They either didn't know or were so petrified that they wouldn't even say the names of the curses. Harry cleared his throat. Everyone's head swiveled around to look at him. "May I?" Lupin, obviously unsure what Harry was asking and already tired of the subject, nodded and sat down behind his desk. Harry stood up and walked to the front. He locked eyes briefly with his professor then turned around, leaning casually on the desk. "I am not as patient as Professor Lupin. I will call on anyone I want to answer my questions, even if I have to embarrass you."

Sirius suddenly snorted. "I won't participate then. Why would I listen to a Death Eater concerning Voldemort's favorite torturing devices?"

Harry turned to Sirius and narrowed his eyes. He got up and walked over to him, bending down and pressing his palms flat against Sirius' desk. He brought his face up to Sirius' until their noses were almost touching. "Tell me, Sirius, have you any real idea just what you're accusing me of when you say that I am a Death Eater? I don't think you do."

Harry walked back over to the desk. "Does anyone care to tell me anything about these curses before I embarrass someone?" No one answered. Harry bit his lip. "Severus Snape, can you tell me about the Imperious curse?"

Snape snorted. "Why do you think I would know?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Because you are fascinated with the Dark Arts."

Snape looked up at the ceiling, scowling slightly. "The imperious curse controls the victim. You can make them do anything. It can not be thrown off."

Harry nodded. "Almost entirely flawless, except that it can be thrown off. That depends on a number of things. First, the strength of the castor, and second, your ability to resist. Anyone know why it is so hard to resist?"

Peter spoke up quietly. "The only people who know don't talk about it."

Harry looked at something outside the nearest window. "I can see why that would be true if they were forced to do something horrible. However, there are people who have been able to throw it off on their first try, so they have no bad experiences with it. Imagine your mind completely blank. Nothing can upset you. Everything is at peace. Then, a voice tells you," Harry paused, "jump on the desk. And you're so happy, you comply. But, if you fight back, you'll hear yourself answering. 'Why? Kind of stupid thing to do really.'

"'Jump on the desk.'

"'No, I don't believe I will.'

"'Jump! Now!'" Harry snapped. Everyone's eyes were riveted on him and he was instantly reminded of the DA. He took a calming breath. "The next thing you know you go sailing through the air and your knees slam into the desk because you jumped and tried to stop yourself from jumping at the same time. Not pleasant."

"How would you know?" James asked.

Harry shrugged. "Nothing like personal experience. My teacher, who had cast the curse on me and all my classmates to show us how easy it was, decided to keep cursing me until I could throw it off."

"I don't believe it," Nott snarled. "It's illegal."

"Since when has that stopped anyone? And as I doubt anyone here will step up to cast the Imperious curse, I guess I can't prove myself, can I? The second curse anyone? The Cruciatus curse?"

Surprisingly, Frank answered. "Pain. Intolerable, mind-blowing pain."

Harry stared at him a moment, remembering the dismal fate of the bright young man. "Yes. Like millions of knives cutting into you, intent on getting to your bone. Your joints creak and ache, your muscles tense and spasm, your nerves are on fire, your bones pop and snap. The pain is so intense, that you could go insane." No one twitched. Harry locked eyes with Remus who was gazing at Harry in horror, his eyes briefly flickering to the still figure behind Harry. "And the last curse?"

Remus answered Harry softly, still looking between his older self and Harry. "The Avada Kedavra curse, the killing curse."

Harry stared into space for so long that muttering broke out among the class. Sirius whispered rather loudly, "I bet he's remembering the ones he's killed for his master."

Harry spun around. His wand was leveled at Sirius' chest. "Avada Ked-" Sirius yelped and scrambled for his wand, as was everyone else. Harry stopped and summoned all the half-drawn wands. They stared at him in shock. Even Lupin was rigid. Harry looked around at them as he tossed the wands back to their owners. He leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. "It's hard to react, isn't it, to predict what I'm thinking? And unfortunately, you need to be able to do that. There were two people who didn't draw their wands: Professor Century and Snape. Why?"

Snape leaned back in his chair. "There was no emotion. You didn't want to kill him."

Harry snapped his fingers. "Bingo. I didn't want to kill Sirius. To perform an Unforgivable, you have to want to hurt them. You can want them to feel pain here," Harry pointed to his head, "but you have to want it here." He put his hand over his heart. Harry blinked furiously, trying to forget that he had used crucio on Bellatrix and that Snape had killed his Headmaster, though for a reason he was still pondering over.

"When you don't know that curse is coming, you are in trouble. The only way to beat that curse is to dodge it. No one has shielded themselves and no one has survived." Lupin snorted. "But, I'm getting away from the topic. I need you to imagine someone who is funny, brilliant at everything, loyal, loving, kind, unselfish, etcetera. You can even put a face with that description; anyone want to supply one?"

James, Sirius, and Peter looked at each other then at Remus. James nodded, "Remus."

"Alright then, imagine Remus." Harry paused and got up. He started pacing in front of the desk. "Remus, one of your best friends, say James, has been married for three years and he has a son. You, Sirius, and Peter are frequent guests at their house. You spend all your spare time together, as you should. That little boy is now the center of James' life."

"The center of all your lives," Lupin added.

"Gradually, you notice a change in your friends. They are very secretive. Suddenly-"

"Suddenly," Lupin cut in, voice quiet, "your friends start shunning you, indiscreetly of course, glancing at your left forearm, never looking you in the eye. The only one that acts freely around you is that baby. Now, it's Halloween. You're sitting at home, bitter that you had engagements that made it so you couldn't be with your friends. The next day you wake up and pick up the paper, just like every morning. But something is different. You just have this feeling that something awful has happened.

"You glance down at the front page as you take that first sip of your hot chocolate and you choke when you see the headlines. There, on the front page, is a picture of Godric's Hollow, James' house, and there's nothing but ruins left standing and a huge glittering mark in the sky, the Dark Mark." Lupin's eyes were glazed slightly, as though he could see it all. "Below it you read: Godric's Hollow attacked, Potters dead, baby taken to only living family. And as that's sinking in, you see another picture. Sirius Black, charged as a murderer and Death Eater, cornered by Peter Pettigrew who he killed and Sirius was led off to Azkaban laughing like a maniac." His eyes cleared and he looked around the classroom.

"Your entire world has just been ripped away from you, and you can never get it back. Then, you're told that the Ministry is denying you custody of that little boy, and that you will have to wait until he is seventeen to even meet him."

Harry growled. "WHAT?"

Lupin locked eyes with him. "Conditions arise. And now you wonder, could I have done something? I could have held Voldemort off while they escaped. I could have alerted someone. I could have jumped in front of the killing curse and saved them. Why didn't I?"

Harry interrupted. "Then look at it from that baby's point of view. Only a year old and an orphan." He began pacing again, not having noticed that he'd stopped. "And the only memory he has of his parents…is the sounds of them dying, screaming and the high cruel laugh of the monster who killed them. As that baby grows up, when he finds out what happened, he'll always wonder, why am I alive? Why didn't it happen the other way around? Why couldn't they have lived while I died? They could have still had a family. They would've had each other. But that baby has nothing but the stories Remus will eventually tell him. Tell me, James, if you lived through such an encounter and your baby died, how would you feel?"

James swallowed the lump in his throat. "Terrible. I should have been able to save them."

"Now you see the problem with the killing curse. Not only does it kill, but it affects everyone who knew the victim by slowly tearing their life apart and then laying it out in front of the world so everyone can walk around the ruins of your happy life. And finally, as the shock wears away, they step on it until there's nothing left." Harry looked around at them all. "That is your future if you don't do something about it now. I hope you find the courage to stop it."

The bell rang, but everyone stayed in their seats. Lupin raised a weary hand and shooed them out. "One foot essay per curse. Due in a week. Go."

The class filed out, leaving Harry and Lupin alone. They stared at each other. Lupin smiled softly. "Go on, Harry. Go do whatever you need to. Train, study, spend time with your parents."

"What about you," Harry asked quietly.

"I've coped for sixteen years. I'll manage for a while longer." He stood and started going through a cabinet. "You want to perform them now, don't you? You want to find someone willing-"

"I will."

Lupin whipped around. "What? But, Harry-"

"No, Remus. I'll have to learn to perform them eventually. What if I am finally facing Voldemort and suddenly, the spell doesn't work? I have to do this. I'll have to eventually. Maybe I can convince Severus to make Polyjuice Potion for us."

"Severus?" Lupin asked. "Why are you so intent on befriending him?"

"I have a theory, and to prove it I have to gain his trust. Just trust me. I know what I'm doing."

Lupin rubbed his eyes. "Alright," then sighed, "Do you think they believed us? I scared my younger self to death. I'll probably corner you once you come out of the room."

"Should I lie? Say it happened to a friend?"

"Yes. That will probably convince me."

Harry went to the door then paused and turned back. "Remus?"

"Yes, Harry."

"Did you really ask for custody of me?"

Lupin looked up. "Yes." Harry smiled and left. He wasn't to the end of the corridor when he was pulled roughly into a side passage. When Harry's eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness he recognized Remus who was snarling. "Well?"

"Well what?" Harry asked.

Remus growled. "That story. It didn't really happen…did it?"

Harry shook his head slowly, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. "A friend of the family. I never knew them and I never met their son either, just stories."

Remus cocked his head then nodded and Harry would have jumped for joy if he hadn't felt so horrible for lying.

----

Harry glanced around the library. He knew Snape was somewhere watching him. He had deliberately sat out in the open today. He had recently stumbled upon a very battered copy of Advanced Potion Making with notes scribbled in its margins. He was going to use it as a bartering chip, if Snape took the bait.

Something in the corner shifted and Harry smirked. Snape slowly approached the table, pretending to be browsing the shelves. Harry watched his back a moment then murmured, "Evening, Snape."

Snape, cool as ever, turned around, acting surprised to see him. "Times, I didn't see you there."

Harry snorted. "I'm not a child, Snape. I know you were hoping I would engage you in some friendly conversation. Pull up a chair if you can stand to be seen around a mudblood-loving Gryffindor."

Snape looked around then pulled up a chair. He sat and watched Harry quietly as he wrote down a list of ingredients from memory. Snape frowned. "It's bicorn, not becan or whatever that says."

Harry glanced up and Snape's eyes widened at the praising look Harry was giving him. "Good. I had hoped you would correct me." Snape raised an eyebrow. "You see, I need your help. Even if you don't want to be friends, accomplices, whatever. You saw how shaken up everyone was when I talked about the Unforgivables. Well, I've been thinking." Harry sighed. "I want to take a leaf out of one of my professor's books. I want to show the class what the imperious curse feels like and show them the cruciatus and killing curses on spiders. Century doesn't have the stomach for it. He held up extremely well, but I think performing them would kill him. So, I want to perform them."

Snape blinked. "That's illegal."

"So is my solution."

"Wh-" His eyes flickered to the list. "Polyjuice Potion. You want to switch places with Century."

Harry nodded. "Smart man. Myself and some friends made it before, but I'm not extremely good with potions. There is no room for mistakes with this. The other potions I make regularly were burned into my mind. I could kill myself and Century with this. I need your help."

Snape stared at him. "What do I get in return?"

Harry smirked. "First, an opportunity to help me break quite a few laws and never get caught. Second, my undying gratitude. Third, my friendship, from which we could both benefit. And fourth, you get this." Harry reached into his bag and pulled out a book. He let Snape see it briefly then drew it to his chest. Snape glowered at him. "I'm sorry, but I needed a trump card. I found this when, uh, retrieving ingredients from Slughorn's private stores. Now do you understand how badly I need your help? I never blackmail if I can get around it. You're brilliant, Severus, and I would love to have you as an ally and friend."

"Blackmail and flattery. Very Slytherin." Snape sighed, glancing to the book again. "When do we start?"

----

Sirius sank onto Remus' bed and groaned. "Too much work."

Remus sat down too and leaned against the bedpost. "I know, but listening to you complain was not the intention of this meeting."

James clapped his hands. "Official Marauders meeting is now in session. Present the topics for discussion, Mr. Moony."

"Right, Mr. Prongs. Mr. Moony wishes to bring to light Harry's association with Severus and Lily."

"Mr. Wormtail agrees. This has puzzled him."

Sirius snorted. "Mr. Padfoot is not surprised. Times and Snivelly have a lot in common."

"Mr. Prongs is perplexed. Elaborate, Mr. Padfoot."

"Mr. Padfoot has noticed that Times and Snivelly are quiet, possible Death Eaters, and fascinated with the Dark Arts."

"Mr. Wormtail agrees. They are getting along famously."

"Mr. Moony would like to suggest possible circumstances that prompted this alliance."

"Continue, Mr. Moony." James sighed.

"Mr. Moony has observed that Harry and Snape both are on bad terms with the Marauders, have some things in common, are accused of Death Eater activity, and might have sought each other's assistance with a school-related matter."

"Mr. Prongs inquires the Marauders' thoughts on Times's association with Lily, Snivellus situation aside."

"Mr. Padfoot suggests infatuation." Sirius murmured, avoiding James' eye.

"Mr. Moony believes it is just a close friendship."

"Mr. Prongs would like to make sure Lily is not in danger."

"Mr. Padfoot wishes to hear Mr. Prongs' plan."

"Mr. Prongs suggests the Marauders stay close to Lily and Times, just in case."

"Mr. Wormtail concurs."

"All agreed?"

"Aye!"

"Good! Mr. Moony declares this meeting adjourned!"

"Those meetings are really confusing," Peter muttered. "Why do we have them again?"

"Because we haven't needed to be so formal about it before now and no one understands them," Remus said with a shrug.

"Or so we hope," Sirius grumbled as Harry walked in.

----

May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you.

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