Dear Parvati,
The weekend's finally here, and I have finally found a time to sit down and write this letter to you. I don't know when I'll be able to read this to you, but I hope that it will be at least over winter break.
The first day was the hardest to face without you. Every moment reminded me of you, from the Hogwarts express, to the great hall. If I hadn't been surrounded by people, I probably would have broken down.
The following days were easier. A number of D.A. members are still here, and we talk when we can. It's amazing the feeling of talking to someone else does. It draws me out, and I can hear news, and how people are doing. It's liberating.
It wasn't until the third night that I managed to make it to the spot where you died. I hate writing those words. They are so final, and heart wrenching at the same time. The spot was empty, and I broke down for the first time. Not just crying, but an actual breakdown. I sat there for hours and just stared at the spot where you had laid.
I think I had to see that. It was the final proof that you really were gone. Not that I didn't know before of course, but his seemed to make it much more final.
After that, I wouldn't say things got easier for me, but I could manage it better. You always supported me, and I know that you wouldn't feel jealous of me for going back when you can't. For the time being, the grief has faded a little bit. Before I could hide it, but it was still there. Now it's faded a little bit, and for the first time I feel like life could be like it was before.
Not the exact same, but for the first time I think that I can live in this world without you. The pain's still there, but it's decided to rest.
With much love, now and forever,
Padma