Carry On

By: Teenlaunch

Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing if I owned it.

a/n: I am so sorry! I really did plan on this being out earlier. However, my beta disappeared, and I had to find someone else. Other than that, I can only say that college has really been hard this semester. Hopefully I haven't lost you all. This chapter is dedicated to AlicepixiegirlTWILIGHT & Matthias W. who both urged me to do something for once. Hope you like it.

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"You all stood there! What were you waiting for, a bloody invitation?"

Harry winced. Whoever was talking, and it sounded oddly like James, was angry and their yelling was making Harry's head pound. Trying to ignore the incessant ache, Harry slowly began cataloguing his injuries. Besides his head, his entire body was throbbing dully. He tried to move, but something around his torso was restricting his movement and pain shot through his body. He stilled and was content to listen in on the conversation that was taking place around the next bed.

"What could we do? They have the Dark Arts on their side! We have what, some funny jinxes? We may know a bit about dueling, but they meant business. We had no chance." Someone, Sirius, Harry suspected, was very exasperated at James for him yelling at them. "What would you have done?"

"Something, anything!" James shouted. "I wouldn't have just stood there!"

"We didn't!" This voice, being the most familiar, Harry recognized right off. It was Remus. "Where do you think Peter slunk off to? Bermuda? He went to wake up Century."

"The man was out like a light," Peter said. "And Century sent me to get Dumbledore and McGonagall!"

"You still should have done something," James grumbled.

"Should we have come out swinging like Century did?" Sirius asked. "Apparently he has some right hook. That guy with the silver hand went flying."

Harry snorted at this, making his chest throb and he sat up quickly, the spell binding him breaking instantly to prevent causing more damage. The Marauders looked around, startled. He coughed hoarsely and took a foul potion someone offered him in between coughs. His breathing slowed and he laid back down, his eyes closed against the pain-filled tears building in them. One of the Marauders gently helped him sit up and let him lean against them. He rubbed small, soothing circles on Harry's back and Harry calmed. He opened his eyes and looked around. Sirius and Peter had pulled their chairs from James' bed to Harry's and James had moved Remus' previous seat as well. Harry realized he was leaning against Remus and turned his head slightly to see him. He gave him a small smile that Remus returned. Remus carefully placed Harry's glasses on his friend's nose and sat back.

There was silence then James said, "So, how are you feeling?"

Harry would have shrugged but, being unable to move very well, sighed slightly. "Not as bad as I thought I'd be. I guess that's because I'm on about twenty painkillers, aren't I?"

"About," Remus answered with a small chuckle.

"Glad you're finding this amusing," Harry said with a wry smile.

Remus shrugged, making Harry sink slightly. "I'm a Marauder, what do you expect?"

Harry smiled and looked over at the others. They were watching them with a curious expression. Sirius cleared his throat. "So, uh…I guess, uh…"

"What Sirius is trying to say is," James took a deep breath, "we're sorry for accusing you of being a Death Eater."

Harry smiled gently. "Thanks. I needed that." He yawned. "How long have I been out?"

"Three and a half days," Sirius said. "Century is beside himself and Lily made James tell her every gruesome detail, except the ones he decided to leave out."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "Wonderful. So, James, did those idiots hurt you?"

James shrugged. "Just a few bruises here and there. You got the full brunt of everything. You sure you're alright? Pomfrey thought you weren't going to make it there for a while. She said it was only Century running here so quickly that saved you."

Harry closed his eyes and leaned against Remus. "I'm fine. I can deal with pain. It's being in here that's the bad part." Harry yawned again and opened his eyes. "Did she give me a sleeping draught?"

Sirius smirked. "Yep. That's why you're so out of it."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh well. So, I guess it takes a Death Eater torture session to convince you people that I'm not one of them after all, huh?" The Marauders shifted uneasily. Harry frowned. "Why did you follow me?"

"We didn't intend to at first," Peter muttered.

"We were going to, er…" Sirius looked around for support.

"Do some Maraudering?" Harry suggested. "I don't care what you were doing, Sirius. I have this knack for doing things that are against the rules too."

Sirius smiled. "Well, we were going to find a place to play poker, strip poker of course." Harry rolled his eyes. "We're all big gamblers, even Remus here. And we saw you sneaking across the grounds. We're sometimes a little too curious for our own good and we went to investigate."

Harry nodded but stopped. His head hurt too badly. "Did any of you have any experience with Death Eaters before the other day, besides Remus, I mean?"

The others shook their heads, Peter a bit quicker than the others. "None at all," Sirius muttered. "Unless you count my parents and brother, Regulus Black."

Harry frowned at the mention of Sirius' younger brother. Something about the name struck a cord. "Sirius, what's your brother's middle name?"

"Andross, why?"

Harry's lungs contracted. "His initials are…are R.A.B., right?"

"Yeah, so?" Sirius asked, throwing James a confused look.

Harry smiled. Regulus was R.A.B.! His smile faltered. He couldn't do anything about the horcruxes at the moment. He'd have to find a way home first, then worry about figuring out anything else. The Marauders were quiet, exchanging questioning glances. Harry sighed. "Sorry, never mind me. I know what I'm talking about, and that's all that matters. Don't bother trying to figure that one out, please."

"Er, alright," Sirius answered, smiling uneasily.

Harry looked over at James and found him staring at him. Harry shifted uncomfortably and would have patted down his bangs if his bandages had allowed him to move that far. Instead he asked, "What?"

James looked away. "I just…" He looked back at Harry. "Why'd you do it?"

Harry smiled softly. "Some people are worth it."

"But, everything I did! Anyone else would have left me to those Death Eaters!"

"I'm not 'anyone else'. And I've been up against the stuff you've been putting me through for my entire life. It wasn't a big deal."

"Yes it was! I mean…" James' expression was pained. "Since you're…I just…" He took a deep breath. "It's not true…is it?" The other boys went still, their eyes fixed on James. Apparently this had been bothering him the entire time Harry had been out. "You-you're not…not really my…my…are you?"

Harry closed his eyes. He'd almost forgotten that the other Marauders now knew who he was. He looked around at them all. "Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now." Harry shifted, trying to get up but Remus caught him around the waist.

"Don't even – think – about it!" He hissed.

"Remus, I'm fine. I just-"

"If you don't want me to get Madam Pomfrey you will stay here, understood?"

Harry grumbled, falling into Remus hard enough to knock the air out of his chest. "Fine. Meanie."

Remus snorted. James' mouth fell open. "You knew! You knew that he's – supposedly – I mean…that he's claiming to be…"

"Your son from twenty years in the future?" Harry asked, trying again to get up but being pulled back down.

The others stared at him. James shifted nervously. "Well, are you?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What do you think, James?"

James and Sirius shared a look. Sirius shrugged. James said, "I think you're lying, or you're insane."

Harry scowled. "Of course. If I listened to everyone else, I'd believe that too."

"Which?"

"Both." Harry bit his lip to keep from saying something else. "Why you don't believe me? Besides the fact that you found out from Lucius, obviously."

"That was Lucius Malfoy?" Peter asked.

James shot him a nasty look and he quieted. "Time travel is impossible and illegal."

Harry frowned then smirked. "It can't be both. To be illegal it has to be possible. Otherwise there wouldn't be laws against it."

James gaped and Remus chuckled. Harry's body shook with the movements of Remus' chest. Harry glared up at him. Remus just smiled and said, "Genius right there."

Harry snorted. "Thank you. But, I'm serious, James. Haven't you heard of time-turners? You can request one from the Ministry. But time-turners only go back hours at a time." Harry sighed. "Turns out the Ministry was working on a new time device." Harry held up his right hand. Pomfrey had undone the concealment charms on the Inflecto. "These bands around my wrists and ankles are it. Someone sent it to me, and before I could do anything to disable it, I landed here."

"I don't believe you!" James yelled, standing up.

Harry jumped up as well, ignoring Remus' protests, and swaying on the spot. "Why not? Because you don't want to believe it? Is that it? You've always seen yourself as a Casanova, never settling down and rai-" Harry's voice caught. He couldn't find it in himself to finish the sentence. James hadn't gotten to raise him. Harry looked at his father's back. "Why don't you want to believe it? Remus does, and it looks like Sirius and Peter do as well."

James whipped around. "If you were really my son, there'd be proof! You wouldn't be a Parselmouth! You wouldn't be so depressed! You wouldn't be a right git!"

"And how do you explain my Quidditch abilities? My hair and build? My temper? My disregard for the rules? My love of justice? My stubbornness? Are you blind? Are you really so thick that you can't see what's right in front of you?" Harry yelled. His head started to spin and he gasped for breath, coughing so hard that he fell to his knees. Remus rushed to him.

"Harry! You shouldn't be-"

"No, Remus!" Harry wheezed. He stood back up, knees threatening to buckle. "Where's my wand?"

"Century took it to make sure you didn't try anything when you were too weak," Remus murmured.

Harry snarled. "Well, here's a little message for him too! Here's all the proof you should need, James!" Harry raised his hand. True it was stupid to use wandless magic so soon after he was awake, but he was known for being reckless. He wouldn't be a Potter if he wasn't. The Marauders stared at him.

"What are you doing? You don't have your-" Harry didn't let Remus finish.

"Expecto Patronum!" A bright flash illuminated the room and Harry gasped along with the Marauders. He had conjured his patronus but it wasn't only Prongs. Standing in front of him were three large animals. A stag – Prongs. A dog – Padfoot. And a werewolf – Moony. Harry was sure his mouth was touching the ground, even as he stuttered. "Wh-what's going on? Three patronuses?" Harry reached forward and patted Padfoot's head. The dog barked and wagged his tail. Moony sat down on Harry's right foot and looked up at him solemnly. Harry stroked his silver head too. Moony tilted his head into Harry's palm, seeming to enjoy the attention. Prongs leaned forward and nuzzled Harry's face with his nose. Harry smiled and rested his head against the stag's. He looked up and smiled at the Marauders, noticing their awestruck faces. "Are they proof enough for now or do you need more?"

James made an odd choking sound. "They – I – I mean…this could be-" He glared at Harry and stormed from the room. Harry sighed as his patronuses disappeared.

"I tried."

Remus put a comforting, and shaking, arm around him. "Come on. Back into bed with you."

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"Remus?" Peter asked quietly, daring to break the thick silence that had infested the Marauders' dorm since the attack a week before. "Why didn't you tell us who Harry is?"

Remus looked up. He blinked and glanced at James who was curled in the window seat. "He asked me to keep it a secret. I thought I owed him that much."

The subject of Harry had been avoided at all costs. James would still fly off the handle whenever his name was mentioned. It was hard for Remus to keep quiet about it. James was just hurting himself and everyone else with his silence. The Marauders hadn't even thought up a prank while Harry wasn't in the dorm. All that was done was homework anymore.

"Why?" James snapped.

"Pardon?" Remus asked, looking over at his enraged friend.

"Why do you think you owe him something?"

"He trusted me with this, James. He saved my life from those Death Eaters in Hogsmeade. And he gave me some evidence that I couldn't fight."

"What was that?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed, turning a page in his book. "I'll tell you later, okay? I need to ask Harry if he minds me saying."

"Ask Harry? What happened to us, Remus? What happened to the Marauders? What happened to our friendship? Ever since he got here, everything has fallen apart! I can't take it! There's something wrong with him, can't you see that?" James shouted, going red in the face.

Remus growled, snapping the book shut. "Yes, I do know there's something wrong with him, Prongs! What do you think I've been trying to figure out since he got here? Sure, I figured out that he's not a Death Eater. And yes, I figured out that he's your son from the future! But, I haven't gotten anywhere with him for a while because something has been pushing him away. And I think it's you!"

James narrowed his eyes. "I never wanted him to get close to me in the first place!"

"But you won't even let him explain why he's kept his identity from you! You're completely shutting him out! How do you think he feels about that, James? Have you ever been shut out by someone?" James didn't answer. "Well, you know what? I HAVE! And guess what else? It hurts like hell! James, open your eyes! When he's born you will be at least twenty! When he's this age again, you'll be thirty-seven or older! You can actually get to know him before he's born, understand things that most parents never can because they can't remember what it felt like to be a teenager and to feel helpless sometimes! Maybe that's how he's feeling right now! Maybe he just needs someone to be there, someone like his FATHER!"

An unnatural silence fell. James and Remus were glaring at each other, neither blinking. A quiet knock and the creak of the door made them whip around. Lily's eyes widened. "Er, uh…you do know that most of that was heard downstairs, Remus?"

Remus barred his teeth. "I don't care. This jerk deserves to have the entire world to hear how he's been treating Harry!"

Lily's head snapped to James, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "You've been mistreating Harry again?"

James snarled. "I have a right to be upset with him, Remus! All I did was say that I think he was lying! And he blew up!"

"Just like you are now, James!" Remus quipped back. "You're so much alike and yet you're blind to what your heart is truly telling you! He's telling the truth, James! And you don't even have the guts to face him like a man! What a poor role model, a poor FATHER!" Remus yelled.

James screamed, making them all jump. "Would you be acting any different, Remus? Would you? Tell me you wouldn't fling it back at him, wanting answers! It's not possible to do what he's suggesting and you know it! Tell me that you wouldn't start moping or yelling or whatever!" They stared at him. "Tell me!" James stood there, breathing heavily. He clamped his mouth shut and reached into his trunk for his invisibility cloak. "I'm going out. Don't bother looking for me."

"Don't worry. I won't," Remus hissed as the door slammed.

Lily stared at him. "What happened?"

Sirius and Peter pointed to Remus. Remus just stared at the floor. "I made a right git out of myself, that's what. I know it must be hard on him, but how does he think Harry feels? If he would think it through he'd realize that he does believe him. He's just afraid, and I helped make it worse."

"Afraid of what?" Lily asked in a terrified voice, not fully following the conversation.

Remus shrugged. "I'm not sure, Lily."

"If you had to guess," Sirius said, standing up and leading Remus to his bed so he could sit down.

Remus looked up at him, his eyes sad. "Himself."

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James walked quickly and quietly down to the lake. He liked to go there to think when he just needed to be alone. The others never thought to look for him there, even after all their years at the school. He picked his way along the bank by the forest and sat down, shedding his cloak and pulling his knees to his chest. He looked out across the lake. It was so calm and peaceful, nothing like how he felt now. Something wet fell onto his head. He looked up. Rain started falling, gently blanketing Hogwarts. James sighed. That was a bit more like it.

Something in the bushes behind him moved and he sprang to his feet. A pair of glowing green eyes was staring at him from the bushes. James took a step back and the bank beneath his foot crumbled. As he fell backward, a large creature leapt from the bushes and clamped its jaws onto his sleeve. The creature yanked on the fabric and James stumbled forward, away from the edge.

James sat down, shaking, and looked at the animal sitting beside him. It was a dog, black as night with acid green eyes and a stripe of silver down its muzzle. James smiled slightly. "Th-thanks." The dog cocked its head. "Good boy."

James reached out to pet its wet, gleaming fur but stopped. The dog looked up at his hand and hesitantly nudged it. James smiled and patted its head. "Where did you come from? I've never seen any dogs around here." James looked closer at the dog.

"You look kind of like…" James stopped. The dog cocked its head again. "Sorry, I just…you remind me of Harry." The dog's back straightened a bit. "You don't know who Harry is though, do you? He's…he's my son." The dog's ears twitched. "Yeah. You heard me right. He's my son from the future. Can you believe that? It's the kind of thing that…well, I've dreamed about it, you know? I always wanted something wicked to happen to me. And now it has!" James grinned and he was sure the dog mimicked him. "He's brilliant! He's so smart! He's exceptional at Quidditch. He has my love for rule-breaking. He's brave. He has my temper and my determination. He has my compassion. And he put his life on the line for me." James' face fell.

"But I…I yelled at him. I said…I said I didn't believe him. But I do. Oh, Merlin, I do! But…it doesn't make sense!" James jumped up. The dog didn't move. James began to pace, the rain still pouring down on them. The dog laid its head on its paws and stared up at him, following his movements with its ever watchful eyes. "Why didn't he tell me who he is? It…I mean…Shouldn't he have wanted to tell me straight off? Shouldn't he have been happy to be around me? He didn't even drop hints!" The dog snorted and James looked around at it.

"Alright, so the hair and Quidditch skills should have been a dead give away, but nobody's perfect! And he just kept pushing me farther away! I don't get it! Maybe that's why I freaked out on him. I just…I guess…"

James plopped down in the mud beside the dog. He looked over at it. The dog wagged its tail feebly. "What if I'm a horrible father? Maybe he hates me and he was only getting along with me because he has to. Or maybe I left him and his mother, and he never met me. He's always so quiet and secluded. He's always brooding over something, and he's friends with Snape! I guess I can forgive that, but he'll need a good reason." The dog seemed to laugh. "He has three patronuses which just happen to be Moony, Padfoot, and me. He's a Parselmouth too. And he's so depressed. You should have seen the way he looked at me. It was like everything was being torn away from him, just by me finding out. Am I that terrible?" James put his head in his hands. The dog inched closer to him and laid its head gently on his knee. James looked down and smiled. He absently patted the dog's head.

"I guess you're right. I'll never find out unless I talk to him." James sighed. "I'll talk to him as soon as I can, alright. You happy now?" The dog barked and got up, running back into the forest. James laughed and got up as well, pulling his invisibility cloak over his head.

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James sighed. He couldn't think straight. He'd put off going to see Harry for two days and he was slowly losing his mind. He couldn't take all the questions, the doubt, the hurt, of not knowing. Remus and the others had forgiven him for being so selfish during the first week after the attack, but now that he had come to his senses they were pushing him to talk with Harry.

James just wasn't ready. He couldn't explain it but he couldn't get the courage to face him. So, he'd started working extra hard in class and on his assignments. He was constantly doing something, anything to preoccupy his mind instead of letting it wander to Harry.

Right now he was trying to write a Transfiguration essay but it was proving to be much harder than he thought. He couldn't remember anything about permanent transmutations. He groaned, "Padfoot." Sirius looked up at him from over his book. "What is our transfiguration essay on again?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Permanent transmutations, Prongs."

"I know that!" James hissed. "I meant what are we supposed to be discussing about them?"

Sirius frowned. "Why they're dangerous, I think."

"Oh." James was silent for a minute. "Why are they dangerous again?"

Sirius' eyes widened. "Oh boy."

Peter blinked rapidly. "Prongs, are you okay?"

James put his head in his hands. "I don't know, Wormtail. I really don't know. I mean…I can't even remember anything about my best subject!" James chuckled weakly at the thought. "Bloody hell, I'm lucky I can remember my name!"

Remus snorted and looked up from his own essay. "You know how to fix this, James." James pointedly ignored him. "You have to talk to Harry, Prongs." James snorted. "Why put it off any longer? If you're this distracted, imagine how Harry is coping." James looked away. Remus rolled his eyes, got up, and grabbed James' hair lightly, pulling his head back until he was looking up at him. "Harry is cooped up in the hospital wing, every Hogwarts student's least favorite place. He has nothing to do but catch up on homework and you can guess how high that is on his priorities list. All he can do is sit there and wile away the time by thinking. What do you think is foremost on his mind?"

Remus let go of James and James pouted. "Can't I wait two more days?"

Remus scowled as he sat back down. "Two days. Then, I am – dragging – you. Understand?"

James stuck out his lower lip. "Fine. But you have to come with me. You've known longer. He's more comfortable around you."

"Two days, James, only two."

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He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

Proverbs 13:3