If I owned Dan Vs., it would be back on the air.

And stuff gets pretty saucy in this chapter XD

The next morning, Dan was laughing maniacally as he walked up the steps of his apartment building. He was carrying a box, and only lord knows what evil things it held inside.

Before he could open the door, it swung open, revealing the impostor on the other side.

He eyed Dan and his maniacal grin and smirked. He put a finger on his chin and thought playfully.

"Let me guess," he purred. "This is an attempt to get rid of me?"

Dan nodded. "And it's gonna work, too!"

*Dan moved out the way and gestured him to come in. "Do your worst."

Dan stomped inside and dropped the box on the table. He ripped off the duct tape and opened the flaps, revealing ropes, pepper spray, and a jar filled with hornets.

The impostor peeked into the box and smiled. "The hornets are a nice touch, but I'd be lying if I said that I was terrified right now."

Dan scoffed. "I didn't even do anything yet!"

"Dan," the impostor sighed. "Why can't we just make peace? I already got my revenge and you got yours. Aren't we even?"

Dan stomped his foot. "I WAS ALREADY AT PEACE UNTIL YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE!"

*Dan sighed. "At least let me take you out to eat."

Dan's eyes widened at the mention of food. "You're paying?"

"Of course, it's the least I can do."

Dan looked down and thought about this predicament. On one hand, he could go out to eat for free with this deranged criminal. And on the other hand, he could just attack him right now.

The second option sounded tempting, but he was getting pretty hungry...

"Well?" the impostor asked.

Dan nodded his head. "Fine. But I'm picking the place!"

Attacking him will be Plan B, Dan thought as he tapped the pepper spray in his pocket.

Dan was sitting in a booth in Burgerphile. Of course this was the place he wanted to go to. It was close and the food was decent. But he still couldn't understand why his counterpart was offering him food. Maybe it was Dan's paranoia, but he couldn't help but get the feeling that the impostor was after something more than "peace".

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a tray being placed on the table.

"You got my burger?"

"No cheese, like you said."

Dan took his burger out of the bag and inspected it, as if he was looking for poison or a razor blade inside of it. Once he realized that it was perfectly edible, he nodded. "This is acceptable."

The impostor smiled. "Glad to hear that."

"So," Dan said between chews. "You're still telemarketing?"

"Sometimes, not as often. Still getting revenge?"

"I don't get revenge, I get justice!" Dan corrected. "Big difference."

The impostor chuckled and watched Dan devour his burger.

"Where's your food?" Dan asked.

"Wasn't hungry."

Dan arched a brow. "So you're just gonna sit there and watch me eat? That's kinda creepy."

"So you rather me do something else?"

Dan felt the impostor's foot brush against his knee under the table. He shuddered a little but thought nothing of it. It was just an accident...yeah.

"Yeah, as long as you stop staring at me, I guess." Dan said, shifting himself up more.

The other male nodded and brushed Dan's leg again, this time brushing it over his inner thigh.

Dan's eyes widened. He knew that this time, it was no accident. He was going to protest until he felt the impostor's foot brushing his no-no area ever so slightly.

"What's wrong, Dan?" the blue-eyed male smirked, noticing the other's discomfort.

Dan was frozen, a moan about to escape his throat. But he couldn't do that here! Not with all the couples and children!

Instead, he decided to try to shift away from the impostor. But as if he was reading Dan's mind, his foot followed, brushing a little harder.

"Urgh..." Dan grunted, mentally cursing the man in front of him.

Was this why he wanted to bring Dan out to eat? To potentially molest him and embarrass him in public?

Dan was panting now, a bead of sweat formed and went down his beet-red cheeks. He squirmed more and tried to hold in his moans.

"Do you like that, Dan?" the impostor purred, flashing him a charming smirk.

Dan managed to pull himself together and pulled out his pepper spray. He held it in front of the impostor's surprised face and sprayed him dead in the eyes.

With a cry, he impostor covered his face and fell to the floor. Dan saw his chance and ran out the door.

Stupid boner, stupid boner, stupid boner, he thought frantically, running into his apartment and slamming the door shut.

He sank to the floor and sighed. He had no idea which was weirder: the fact that the impostor did that to him or the fact that Dan enjoyed it.