Carry On

By: Teenlaunch

Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing if I owned it.

a/n: Ok….I have no excuse. Well actually I do but that's beside the point. It has been *checks date* 2 years since I updated…That is inexcusable. I hope the story still lives up to expectations. Right now I'm trying to finish writing the story as I have more that is unwritten at the moment. We'll see what happens. It might happen and it might now. We shall see. Thank you to everyone who has pm'd me and left encouraging reviews! Read and review, please, even if it's to say how much you hate it, or me, for how long I've left you all.

a/n2: I also apologize for there not being a verse here but I am really pressed for time and didn't realize I didn't have one.

"Harry, are you alright?" Harry nodded and smiled at Sirius. The Marauders had been asking that for the past few days. It seemed that was all they could say anymore."You sure?"

"Sirius, I'm not going to collapse. I've had worse."

The boys glanced at each other with varying degrees of disbelief. "Right."

Harry shook his head, wondering how irritating they would have to become before he started shouting at them. He stood up and stretched, glancing over at Severus, who inclined his head slightly. "Hey, I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere important." Harry waved a hand dismissively. Did they ever stop?

"Can we come?" James asked, ignoring Peter's curious glance and starting to stand.

Harry briefly debated over the likelihood of getting away with stunning him for a while. "All I'm doing is going to talk to someone."

"I don't see why that means we can't-"

"If I collapse I will make sure you are the first to know," Harry snapped. He didn't have time for this. Nor the patience. He'd never have believed they could be so annoying if he hadn't seen it for himself. Maybe Snape was right.

"Sorry, Harry." James didn't look too sorry. He was still running his eyes over Harry, looking for some wound or sign of illness that wasn't there.

Harry shrugged and left, throwing them a wave over his shoulder. He hurried to Lupin's office and through the mirror to Lupin's quarters after he was sure he wasn't being followed. Harry looked around and made his way to the kitchen where he found Lupin having breakfast, or pretending to be having breakfast as it looked like all the food had been pushed around to give it that appearance. Lupin didn't look up. He simply continued to eat, his movements slow and his eyes distant. Harry shook his head and placed a hand on Lupin's shoulder.

He looked up and stared at Harry, a strange expression on his face. "What is it?" Harry asked quietly, though he was fairly sure what it was.

"I can't let you do this."

Harry blinked. Sometimes it was annoying to be right. "Why?"

"You just…can't." He stood up and moved his dishes to the sink, as though that closed the topic.

"That's not a reason."

Lupin growled, his back stiffening. "You don't need to. End of discussion."

Harry frowned. Lupin usually wasn't so high strung. "Have you ever taken Polyjuice Potion?"

"No. And neither have you. I had hoped to get through life without it."

Harry laughed and Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you were serious?" His stomach twisted minutely.

"You've taken it before?" Lupin asked, eyes narrowed and voice deathly quiet. "When?"

Harry cleared his throat, aware that Lupin might not like his answer. "Er, second year."

"Why?"

"We kinda thought Malfoy was the Heir of Slytherin. So, we used it to spy on him," Harry hedged, hoping the phrasing might make it seem a little more harmless.

Lupin frowned and straightened. Teacher mode, God help him. "I suppose Hermione brewed it."

Harry shrugged. "It wasn't like Snape would volunteer or anything."

"Harry, that was extremely dangerous. If one thing had gone wrong you all could have been hurt."

"I know," Harry sighed, looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry, Remus, but you know how I am. I have to be in the thick of it." It was a poor attempt at a joke but it was true. And he really wasn't all that sorry, except for the fact it did nothing to help them figure anything out.

Lupin nodded but still eyed him with suspicion. "Is there anything else I need to know about your first two years?" He said it lightly but there was something in his voice that dared him to lie.

"Er…not that I-" Lupin cleared his throat. "Okay, so – I – well… how can you not know? I mean, surely you know!" Had no one thought to tell Remus about Harry's first two years of school?

"Why would I be asking if I knew?"

"To torture me," Harry said matter-of-factly. Which was true. It seemed everyone liked asking him questions that they had already formed their own answer to, and nothing he ever said would matter.

Lupin laughed. "Fine. I know that you saved the Sorcerer's Stone and Ginny. That is all I was told."

Harry grimaced. "Oh." That was worse than he thought.

"Harry, I would like to know."

"I suppose I'll tell you later. Right now we need to go. Class starts in five minutes."

Lupin sighed. "Let's go then." He moved to the door but a slight clinking made him stop.

"I think you're forgetting something." Harry dangled the vials in his face.

"I told you. I'm not letting you do this."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Remus. I'm not going to hurt them."

"And what if you can't do them?"

A moment of dread went through his chest but he pushed it away and stepped in front of him so Lupin had to look at him. "Then I will pass it off as your heart being too pure to produce them."

Lupin smiled softly, eyes searching Harry's face. "Are you positive you want to do it, cub?"

Harry nodded and Lupin sighed, taking out a vial with a couple hairs in it as Harry did the same. They traded and dumped them into the respective potion. Harry exhaled then drank it quickly. It scorched his throat and settled as a pulsing lump in his stomach until it slowly spread through his body. He could feel his body growing a few inches, his hair lengthening slightly, and then it stopped.

The first thing Harry noticed was a dull throbbing in his feet. He bent down quickly and pulled his shoes off, breathing in relief. "How big are your feet? You could have warned me!"

"Bigger than yours apparently. Dear Merlin! You're blind!"

Harry started at hearing his own voice answer. He looked up but all he could see was a black blur. He blinked. "Oh. I guess you'll be needing these." He pulled off his glasses and handed them to Lupin. He had to admit it was odd to see himself slide his glasses on and then start making faces. Harry chuckled. "Don't do that or someone will figure out that you're not used to glasses."

His double glared at him. "Well, I'm not!" He glanced up at the clock and winced. "Come on. We don't have time to waste. Change robes."

"What about clothes underneath?"

"They're not too different and they shouldn't notice if we keep our robes on. Charms are wonderful things." Lupin shrank his clothes while Harry enlarged his own."This is very odd."

Harry laughed. "Tell me about it." He sighed. "Okay, in 55 minutes we'll have to take a second dose. I'll try to watch the clock."

"Right. And please, don't embarrass me."

"No embarrassing. Got it." He gave a little half smile as he walked around him to the door.

"I meant you as me."

"I know."

Harry sighed and brought out a jar of spiders onto Lupin's desk. The defense class stared at it.

"Spiders?" someone murmured incredulously, and the murmurs spread, hissing like snakes until the whole room was buzzing.

Harry nodded. "I told you before that I would honor your wishes and teach a full lesson on the Unforgivable curses. That lesson is today. But before we start, if anyone doesn't want to participate, raise your hand. You will be excused." No one moved. They simply stared at the spiders, realizing what they were for. "If at any time you feel you need to leave, tell me. Wave your hands in the air, start yelling, set off firecrackers if you have to. But don't sit here if you don't want to. Understood?" Everyone nodded.

"Good. Now, a little recap." Harry clapped his hands in front of him. "What are the Unforgivables? Name one." Everyone simply stared at him, the tension in the room mounting with each passing second as quite a few people fidgeted. "It is not a sin to say the name you know."

Lily looked up at him from her front row seat. "Imperious, sir."

Harry nodded. "The Imperious Curse, control." He retrieved a spider and murmured, "Imperio," praying that something would happen, not sure whether he would be happy with either outcome. He focused on the spider and willed it to start doing cartwheels, just as he had seen the Moody Imposter do. The spider immediately stood up and started vaulting across the desk. He changed his order and it began to tap dance. A few people chuckled.

Harry glared at them. "I'm glad you think it's funny." The spider retracted its legs and started rolling madly around the desk, teetering on the edge many times. It jumped at the window and fell back in a scramble of legs, only to get up and try again. The class was silent, their eyes focused on the spider.

"What should she do next?" Harry asked quietly. "Walk under your feet? Jump into Mr. Nott's water?" Harry quickly released the spider and replaced it in the jar. "The next curse, if you please."

"Cruciatus," someone muttered and a little ripple went through the class.

Harry drew out the next spider and enlarged it. Peter flinched and edged back slightly. Harry searched quickly for a subject to make him furious and settled on Umbridge, imagining her fly-eating grin and sickly voice. Before he could lose the horrible feeling starting to fill his body, he struck out. "Crucio!"

The spider began writhing on the desk. Harry tore his eyes away to watch the class. There were varying expressions of horror all around. Harry couldn't bring himself to talk and relented, reducing the spider and replacing it in the jar once more. The class didn't know where to look. Their eyes were darting everywhere. But Lupin, Harry's doppelganger, was staring at Harry, worry evident in his eyes. "And the last curse?" Harry whispered.

"Avada," Lupin murmured, locking eyes with Harry, pleading him to reconsider.

Harry shook his head and retrieved the last spider, his heart speeding a bit. Again, he had to search for the will to perform the spell. Immediately, Bellatrix's sneering face filled his mind, and he murmured the curse. The spider fell and nausea swept over him as another image leapt to his mind. Bellatrix was dead. Harry crumpled slightly against the desk but recovered himself quickly. He hadn't even taken the time to remember…

A few students were crying silently, devastation on their faces. Lily's hands were clenched in her lap, her eyes locked on the spider as though she expected it to jump up again. Lupin was slumped slightly in his seat, face set, but with a faraway look on his face. Remus' poise was the same, but his eyes were on Harry, searching his face but he seemed to be having trouble reading him. James and Sirius were both horrified. James' face quickly hardened and he sat up straighter. Severus looked slightly green but hid it well.

Harry smirked slightly and sighed. "Alright! Everyone up!" The class jumped but obeyed. The desks were immediately flung against the wall. The class looked unsure about what to do and stared at him, shifting slightly.

Lupin raised his hand and Harry waved him off, turning to pick up the flask he had hidden his own potion in. Lupin left quickly, Remus' eyes locked on his retreating figure. He shared a glance with the other Marauders then turned back to Harry. They were smart enough to not try leaving at least.

Harry sighed and shook himself to get ready, ignoring the burning in his stomach from the second dose of Polyjuice. "I am going to take the rest of the class and place each of you under the Imperious Curse."

"What?"

"That's illegal!"

"You'll be thrown in Azkaban!"

"I won't-"

"I suggest-" Harry shouted, and the class quieted, "that you consider the possible pros and cons of this." Lupin slipped back into the room, taking his spot beside the Marauders. "This exercise will show you what the curse is like should you ever encounter it again. So, who's first?"

And that's how it went. The students hesitantly stepped forward one by one and were put under the curse. Harry wasn't surprised when only a few showed signs of fighting the curse. Peter failed miserably and started singing horribly off key, but James and Sirius struggled against his hold for a moment, only to cave in when a little more force was given. Both were terribly putout.

Remus was the first to catch him off guard. Once the curse had settled over him his eyes went completely blank. Harry calmly suggested that he start reciting Shakespeare when something brushed against his mind. He shook off the feeling and again prompted Remus. The next moment the presence was back and it pushed him violently from the young werewolf's mind.

Harry stared at Remus in shock, and Remus stared back. Harry smiled. "Well done," he murmured, "very well done. First try and you beat it." The class stared in silent awe. "Do you mind explaining what you did?"

Remus froze and shook his head, brows furrowing. "I don't think I can, sir." But he looked a bit panicked, hands clenching unconsciously at his sides.

Harry frowned but nodded. "Alright...Next!"

Lupin, still posing as Harry, stepped forward, but Lily beat him to Harry. She was shaking slightly and Harry smiled gently to try and calm her.

Lily's eyes unfocused and she went rigid. For a minute she just stood still, staring at Harry. Slowly, her eyes slid into focus then out again. Harry could feel her fighting him but could hear nothing. Finally, he felt her resolve waver and she started dancing around the room, giggling like a little girl. Harry released her and she looked at him with angry tears in her eyes. James embraced her in a one-armed hug, but she stared icily at the ground.

"You did well, Miss Evans." Her eyes snapped onto Harry and she shook her head. "You held it off for a while. A few more tries and you would throw it off entirely. Don't lose hope."

Lupin finally was able to step forward. He gave Harry a small smile and readied himself. Harry took a deep breath and lashed out before he could think about it. Lupin's body went slack and something nudged gently at Harry's mind, the presence growling softly. A moment later Lupin was free of the spell. He smiled again and stepped back. Harry chuckled weakly, all at once awed and grateful to Moony.

Harry tried to forget about it for now and turned to the last student. Severus stared at him, betraying no emotion. Harry had a feeling that this endeavor would end quickly as well, and he was right. Severus' Occlumency shields wouldn't even budge, but Harry tried anyway. He found himself asking that Severus pretend he was under the spell, but the Slytherin snorted. "You must be joking."

Harry rolled his eyes and turned to the class, smiling. "Well, I must say I am impressed. Not only did many of you fight the curse, three of you beat it. Job well done."

The bell rang. "Okay, beat it. I'll see you all later." The class left, strangely silent and no one looking worse for the wear, but the Marauders, Lily, and Lupin hung back. Severus nodded to Harry and left, a smug smile pulling on his mouth. Harry glanced at the clock and cursed. Only a few minutes. "What can I do for you?"

The Marauders glanced at each other and Sirius leapt forward. "Teach me!"

Harry stepped back, more at the sudden move than anything. "What?"

"Teach us," Lily whispered. "Please. We need to be able to do this."

"You expect to get attacked today, Miss Evans?" He wanted to…but it was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

James pursed his lips. "You never know when you'll need it. It could happen at any time." The Marauders discreetly glanced at who they thought was Harry, probably remembering the ambush on the Quidditch pitch.

Harry shook his head. "No. This was too much today. Besides, Harry and Mr. Lupin can already throw it off. Mr. Pettigrew, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can help you." Peter nodded miserably. Harry did regret that bit of bad news. "The rest of you don't need help."

"Yes, we do." James protested. "What if-" He glanced at 'Harry' again. "What if I need to throw it off and I can't? What then?" His eyes didn't waver, determined as he was. A warm spike went through Harry's limbs.

"I don't know, James. But I can't help you. I'm sorry."

James stood his ground. "There must be something I – we can do."

"James-" Harry glanced at the clock, less than a minute. He caught Lupin's eye and knew that if he didn't hurry the Marauders would be present when the Polyjuice wore off. "I must ask you to leave. Performing the curses took a lot out of me."

They frowned and he cursed his bad luck. That was exactly the wrong thing to say. "Why?" Lily asked.

"Because," Harry explained patiently, "you have to mean harm to the other person. I had to find something or someone I wished to harm in order to get the spells to work."

"But why was that draining?"

Ten seconds.

"Because the emotional…" Bellatrix came to mine again. God, he'd killed her.

Eight seconds.

"I…" He'd actually managed it, and he felt…nothing.

Five seconds.

Harry glanced at Lupin, who shook his head. It was no use. They would know. A part of him really didn't care, was glad. It was also the part that was stuck on the fact that Bellatrix was gone.

Two seconds, one.

He and Lupin gasped, doubling over as their insides squirmed again. The Marauders stared at him in confusion. "Professor?" Lily asked.

"Harry!" James went to help Lupin, who was sagging against a desk. He waved James off and he shrank back to join his friends as they watched both men change, one shrinking slightly as the other grew. Finally, Lupin was standing where Harry had just been and vice versa. "Pr-professor? What-"

Lupin straightened and shrugged off Harry's slightly too tight robes, kicked off his shoes, and held the glasses out to Harry, hand shaking slightly. But Harry didn't take them. He was staring at his hands. Lupin, ignoring the others, stepped closer and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. The teen was shaking, only a little bit it was true. "Harry?"

Harry looked up, eyes far away. "I…I killed-"

Lupin frowned, shaking his head. "What are you talking about, Harry?"

"Her," Harry whispered almost reverently. He could see her shocked face. "I actually…"

Comprehension dawned on him and he tightened his hold on Harry. "She never would have been taken alive, Harry." Harry looked away. Lupin put his free hand on Harry's other shoulder. "Think of how many people you saved from her." Harry didn't respond but Lupin smiled softly and turned Harry's head to him. "I bet Snuffles is up in heaven doing a victory dance. The angels might have to throw him out."

Harry chuckled weakly and took his glasses, deciding later would be a better time to address this. But something about Bellatrix's death bothered him still. "Her body, what happened to it?"

Lupin blinked and cocked his head. "She faded away. There was nothing left."

"But she had to have one," Harry murmured, and Lupin nodded absently. "Why would she suddenly-"

"Life force," Lupin breathed, "for lack of a better term. It draws on life force. Die and it stops working."

"Which kind of defeats the purpose."

Lupin smiled and shook his head. Someone cleared their throat behind them. They looked over at the Marauders, all of whom were watching them in warily. They stared at each other for a minute then James frowned. "What the hell was that?"

Harry and Lupin glanced at each other. "What?"

"You just transformed," Sirius exclaimed, "into each other!"

Remus sank into a chair, head in his hands, and groaned, watching them through splayed fingers. "Tell me you didn't. Please, tell me you didn't."

"Didn't what, exactly?" Harry asked, hedging though he knew it would do no good.

Remus groaned again, closing his eyes.

Lily jerked free of James and approached them. With one move she had slapped them both and drawn all attention to herself. "How could you be so foolish? This could get you thrown into Azkaban, expelled to boot!" She hissed at Harry. "And you!" She rounded on Lupin. "You let him! Not only could you be fired, you could have gotten Harry hurt! How could you even consider such a thing?"

"What are you talking about, Lily?" James asked, not daring to approach.

"Don't tell me you haven't figured it out! I know you're slow sometimes but this is ridiculous." She fumed. "These idiots used Polyjuice to turn into each other and proceeded with the lesson. As planned, I suppose."

Lupin nodded, going around his desk to sit down. "Correct, Miss Evans, though I assure you we were at no risk."

"How can you be sure?" James asked before Lily could intervene.

"I trust Harry." Harry blinked in surprise and looked over at him.

"That doesn't mean-"

"No, Lily," Harry said, "it doesn't mean everything would be alright. But I did my best to be sure it would."

"That doesn't matter!" She cried. "You could have permanently injured yourself or others."

"But we didn't," Lupin whispered.

"And what if the next time you do something stupid you do hurt yourself?"

"Then it is no concern of yours."

"Of course it is! I'm Head Girl. I need to watch out for other students."

"Harry is more than capable of taking care of himself."

"But-"

"Lily," Harry interrupted. "Are you really going to turn us in when there was no harm done?"

"I-" Her face flushed and she stormed from the room. The door closed with a slam, leaving behind an uncomfortable silence.

Harry sank against Lupin's desk, stomach rolling again. A hand on his shoulder made him look up. James stared at him. "Is it true? Was that really you that taught us today?" Harry nodded. "Why?"

"It needed to be done."

"And why couldn't he do it?" Sirius snapped, nodding toward Lupin.

Harry glanced at Lupin. He hadn't anticipated this. "It's…he hasn't been feeling well."

"So?"

"Don't lie, Harry," Remus whispered. "This was planned."

"Remus-"

"Polyjuice takes a month to brew. I may not like or be good at potions, but I know a lot about them."

Harry looked away, lost as to what to say. "I…It's complicated."

"Try me." It was between him and Remus now.

"No, I-"

"Harry." They stared at each other for a moment. "How big is your role in the war?" Harry felt the urge to curse him. "Harry, I know that's why you're not telling us. What other reason would there be?"

Harry stared at him for a moment before laughing. "Why do you have to be so damn smart?"

Remus smiled. "Call it a curse."

"Well, curse or not, it's annoying." Harry sighed and looked around at the others. "Listen, I can't tell you."

"Wh-"

"Not yet," Harry interrupted, glaring at Sirius. "Just lay off for a while. You only found out who I am a few weeks ago. I'm not ready to tell you some things just yet."

The Marauders glanced at each other and nodded reluctantly. Harry smiled softly and headed for the door, anxious to leave.

"Hey, Harry?" James called.

Harry stopped, hand on the door knob. "Hm?"

"What other lies have you told us?"