Please forgive some of the grammar in this. Whenever I write from Mikey's POV I tend to write things in his own unique grammatical manner as well. This was not a planned chapter, but what the heck! I couldn't resist.

Ch. 3-The Waiting Game

About five minutes had passed since Leo sent Raph home. Raph's been acting really weird lately, I just hope that my big bro's okay. And by acting weird, I mean like really out of the ordinary. Like this morning. He was sitting on the floor with his back to the couch and his armed crossed behind his head…seriously that is such a strange position, but back to the point, I lay down on the couch and started poking his head. But here comes the creepy part. Instead of growling and swatting my hand away like he usually does, he just sat there without reacting at all. Eventually I got tired and gave up. Later this morning I told Leo about it, but he said that Raph was probably just doing his best to ignore me so I'd leave him alone.

I don't believe that for a minute. I know my brothers and I know their dos and don'ts. Raphael would never not react to me trying to annoy him.

It just isn't him.

Now this latest development seals it. Something's up with Raph. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, Donnie, Leo and I were still on patrol, so I wouldn't be able to worm my red-masked brother's secret out of him until after we were finished.

"Michelangelo." I looked up at Leo, who stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his plastron. "Get it in gear, Mikey, we can't afford to be two turtles short tonight." I nodded.

Still I wonder….No. Later, Michelangelo, later.

Thankfully tonight's patrol was quiet, nothing unusual. "Come on guys, let's head home."

I heard a 'whoop' from my little brother and I smiled. The three of us jumped into the sewers, Michelangelo first, Donnie second, and I followed, closing the manhole cover behind me. We arrived home at twelve thirty exactly. Sensei came out of the dojo to greet us and I went over to him.

"Sensei, is Raph in his room? I want to talk to him. He's probably still mad at me for sending him home."

Master Splinter's eyebrows furrowed. "My son, Raphael has not returned."

I pushed down the panic that had risen in my chest and ran to Raph's room. Empty. I glanced around. The bed hadn't been slept in and some of Raph's most prized possessions were still here. The only things missing were his sai, a couple of ninja stars and some smoke bombs from his small weapons cabinet. Just the things he'd taken on patrol with him. Raph, never came home. Oh, Raphael, how do you always manage to get yourself into trouble?! I turned to see Sensei standing at the door.

"Sensei, what do we do? I told Raph to come home almost two hours ago! Who knows where he could have gone!"

Master Splinter approached and put a hand on my shoulder. "Leonardo, may I ask the reason behind your sending Raphael home early?"

"Hai, Sensei. Raph was…well-he seemed worried or upset. He kept staring off into space and slowing us down. If we had gotten into a fight with anyone I'm not sure he would have been able to fight, he was just so…inattentive. It just wasn't like him. I told him to go home and sort himself out. But it would seem that he once again disobeyed my orders." I couldn't help the bitterness that seeped into my tone with those last few words. I was annoyed, partly at myself for sending Raph off by himself and partly at Raph for disobeying my orders. But mostly I was just worried about my red-clad brother's well-being.

"Hmm. I suggest that the three of you get some rest, you have training in the morning."

"But Sensei, Raph was really upset if he was attacked…" The youngest turtle's baby blue eyes sparkled and Master Splinter couldn't help but pull him into his arms for comfort.

"Donatello have you tried calling Raphael on his T-Phone?"

"Hai, Sensei, but I'm getting no answer. I tried to locate him on the geographic locator, but the signal's being jammed somehow."

"Mm. That is disconcerting. Unfortunately my sons, until we find out where Raphael is we can make no move to assist him."

My sons and I had been waiting until almost four o'clock in the morning. It was highly improbable that Raphael would try coming home in the dawn or daylight, so I told my sons to get some rest. I too, had noticed Raphael's strange behavior over the past few days, and was deeply concerned. My red-masked son was often naïve and hot-headed but he was also extremely sensitive and something had obviously been perturbing him of late. In my younger days, I too was rather hot-headed and impetuous, and therefore I understand my son a lot better than his brothers. That is part of a father's duty to his children after all. Given the current circumstances, I would guess that he just needed some time to think things through and get past whatever it was that was bothering him. But even so, Raphael would never have been gone for this long.

It was almost noon. I had canceled the turtle's training for today. They were far too agitated by the lack of their brother's presence. I, too, was greatly affected by Raphael's absence. It just seemed so unusual, not having the hot-headed turtle storming through lair after his little brother shouting threats at the top of his lungs or hearing the soft pounding as he beat away at his punching bag. I suspect that Michelangelo is feeling his absence the most, after all the two of them spend a lot of time together and even thought Raphael tries to conceal it is obvious how fond he is of his little brother.

Five o'clock in the afternoon. Raphael still hadn't returned. I watched as my eldest son as he sat in the main room. Perhaps I was wrong about Michelangelo feeling Raphael's absence… The blue-masked turtle was staring blankly at the television. His Space Heroes program was on, but I sense that my son wasn't listening to a word of it. Leonardo… I wanted to say something, but I couldn't bring myself to disturb him. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Get some rest, Leonardo. You aren't helping yourself by refusing rest, my son."

"But Sensei, Raph's out there somewhere…"

"I know my son and that is precisely why I refuse to let you up to the surface until we have some clue as to his location. I may have already lost one son. I refuse to lose any more."

Leonardo nodded and returned his blank stare to the screen.

It was almost nine o'clock. The three turtles were gathered around the television, watching the program that was on with little interest. I sat on the couch. I have been spending as much time as possible with my sons, just so that they know I am always here to comfort them, should they need it.

It had been almost eleven hours since they had last seen their brother. They have never been separated from one of their own so long before, and it was difficult to say the least. A soft shuffle of feet at the lair entrance made us turn around.

Raphael!

"Raph!" The three of them yelled simultaneously, rushing over to his side.

I stared carefully at Raphael's face. He was stiff-lipped, his skin a little pale, as though he'd had a shock. He wasn't injured, but…the turtle seemed…extremely upset, even worse than before. My second son glanced up at his brothers, his shoulders hunched and his head bowed, before he pushed them aside and made his way past, dragging his feet. I caught his shoulder and turned him back towards me. "Raphael…"

"Please, Sensei. I know you want to punish me…but I just-I can't. Not now. I-I—" I watched as small tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. His brothers gasped in shock.

"I'm sorry Raphael, but I need an explanation." I stated rather sternly. If Raphael is upset I need to get him to tell me now.

"Raph please—" Leonardo began, putting a hand on Raphael's other shoulder.

"The-the Foot t-they…" his voice caught in his throat.

"They what my son?"

"They killed someone…and I-I couldn't—I couldn't stop it. She died. She died and I couldn't save her. I was too late. I-I just don't understand. What use are our skills if we can't even save those who need saving?!" I pulled my second child into a hug to ease his slightly shaking and rather distraught form. I was very concerned, but I concealed it. Raphael had never shown such concern for anyone other than his brothers, though it only goes to follow that he would apply that same level of concern to those whom he is trying to save. This is probably the first time someone has died practically in front of his eyes, obviously he is taking it harder than I would have expected.

What Master Splinter couldn't have known was that part of the red-masked turtle's guilt had been created by his feelings towards a girl by the name of Midori Yamamoto, whose mother was murdered by the Foot Clan. Raphael felt that he should have done better. He should have reacted sooner and maybe he would have been able to save her…But no matter how many times the turtle wished he could have changed things, they wouldn't change. Now he just threw himself into his father's arms and let go of all his inhibitions. Desperation, fear, pain, and loss freely wracked his frame.

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Leah by Michelangelo