Hi, y'all!
First and foremost, thanks for all the wonderful reviews! My arm is freaking killing me today, so I'm not able to respond just yet – but I wanted to let you know that you all make my heart sing!
So, on the surgeon front… the Doc agrees that I shouldn't still have this much freaking pain all the time. So, he did x-rays today which came back fine, and is ordering an MRI of both my elbow and wrist areas. Still crossing my fingers for no more surgeries though! Thanks so much to everyone who sent me well-wishes!
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
MissyDee was my beta for this chapter!
Disclaimer – Don't own them, wish I did. CH & AB, plus HBO do.
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I hit the stone floor suddenly, hard enough to rattle my teeth. My tailbone felt like it snapped and I just knew I'd be sporting a bruise that spanned my backside before long. I could barely drag in a breath, my eyes stung and burned with the effort. I had tears and snot running down my face as I bent forward and wretched unproductively. I'd honestly never felt worse, and that was saying something considering all I'd been through since meeting that shithead, Bill.
I was still gasping and drooling when I felt Eric's strong arms suddenly engulf me. The rage stewing within him was enough to make me gag some more, and I desperately prayed I wouldn't vomit. Not only would I be mortified to throw up on him, but I had little doubt I'd choke to death at this point. I still couldn't draw in a full breath!
He sat on the couch with me in his lap, petting my hair back for a moment before biting into his wrist. "Drink," he said softly as nuzzled his face into my hair.
I didn't even consider resisting. I wanted this misery to end as quickly as possible. I could hear Eric and Pam arguing as I nursed at his wrist, but I couldn't focus on the words. I somehow knew Chow was nearby, but I wasn't sure exactly where, and I didn't honestly care. Eric's fingers massaged my hip gently as he and Pam continued to fight, his emotions a hot mess as they bled into me.
Eric was still barking at Pam when his thoughts hit me. "You are a gift from the Gods, my lover." He punctuated his claim with a flash of tenderness so strong that it made my heart skip a beat, making me disengage from his wrist. I licked it clean briefly before focusing on the vampires and conversation around me. The quick flash of pride he sent told me he knew I'd heard him.
"I'm sorry I hurt your little obsession, Eric. But you have to understand," she was saying right before Eric cut her off.
"She is not some insignificant plaything, Pamela. She is my bonded. My mate. And you will treat her as such from here on out."
I will keep her with me for the rest of my existence, if she will allow it.
I was positive he hadn't meant for me to hear that, so I did my best not to react. I couldn't think about all that now, there were far bigger fish to fry than my becoming a vampire eventually. But it was definitely something we'd have to discuss. Later.
"Do not mention anything about what you told me downstairs, Sookie. That is for our knowledge only at this point," he thought directly at me.
"I understand," I attempted to send back. The way his eyes cut to mine briefly and the flash within them told me he'd heard me.
"Sookie did nothing to upset me, Pamela. There are things I am not yet ready to divulge that soured my mood; my lover had nothing to do with it. Now, tell me if you found the database and flash drive. Were you able to find anything else?" he commanded, effortlessly slipping back into leadership even though his emotions were still in chaos.
This was probably how he'd survived a thousand years. No matter what was happening on the inside, he was able to remain practical and emotionless on the outside. I should probably be taking notes, the way my life had been going lately. I was quickly realizing that flying off the handle all the time and jumping into things half-cocked was NOT a great survival strategy.
Especially since half the time I did it for people who could give a shit less about me!
"We found both, as well as a folder related specifically to your… Sookie," Pam caught herself before saying something derogatory, which was probably a very good thing for her given Eric's mood. "I was the one who found the folder, and I didn't allow Chow to look since it is sensitive material," she added with a significant look at Eric.
I felt a weird echo in the bond, almost a feeling of warning, but I knew it hadn't come from Eric. I could only guess that Pam had just sent him the feeling. It was odd to say the least, and I fervently prayed I wouldn't have to deal with Pam's emotions now too!
"We took a look at the database while you were dragging Sookie back from CrazyTown, and I can tell you that it is a very good thing this is now in our possession. Eric, the information he's been able to collect is staggering. He must possess some special ability – not a single vampire I know would willingly divulge this much of their history," Pam finished, sounding more worried than I'd ever heard her.
She could be worried all she wanted, as long as she never got that pissed off at me again! That woman was fucking frightening!
"Thank you for your diligence and discretion, Pam. Chow. However, It is getting quite late and my lover and I still have things to discuss. You will both go to ground here for the night, but you are not welcome to stay in the main house tonight. The basement below the pool house is light-tight and has working plumbing; there is also bagged blood in the freezer down there. Go rest there for the day, take some time to feed, and I'll summon you when I'm ready for you to join us tomorrow evening. DO NOT leave the property, however. There is trouble brewing and I need you both safe until we can determine the best course of action. Now go," he dismissed them in a tone that left no room for discussion.
I heard Pam grumbling that she was "surprised the pool house was still standing with the shit-storm out back", but knew I'd have to wait until daylight to see the damage. If I even wanted to see it, which I wasn't sure I did. Looking at the clock on the wall, I saw that we only had about an hour left before sunrise. I was both sad and relieved. His emotions were really beginning to wear on me, and I was still reeling from the bond bitch-slap and Pam throttling me.
What a fucking night!
I chuckled in response to his thought, agreeing completely.
"I believe we have much to discuss, Sookie," he said knowingly. He knew I'd heard him again.
"We do," I agreed on a sigh. "I'm so sorry I upset you so much earlier! Are you angry with me, Eric?"
"Not in the slightest. However, I hope you are not hearing my thoughts constantly, as that could cause some issues in our relationship," he assured me with a kiss to the forehead. I promised him I'd only heard him a few times and that the thoughts were very brief and centered around me personally.
Seeming pleased, he continued in a clinical tone, "I'd not thought of the night my family was murdered in a long while, Sookie, and yet you were able to pluck it from my mind like a ripe fruit without trying. It was… unsettling to hear. I've been searching for the man in the cloak since that night. Godric and I thought we had a lead back during WWII, but it did not pan out the way I'd hoped. Now to know, after all this time, who is responsible for their deaths…" he paused to look into my eyes. "I find I do not know how to handle it. The emotions it's causing are uncomfortable, and quite unexpected," he admitted almost shyly.
"Why?"
"I've continued to search all this time because I promised my father as he lay dying that I would avenge him. I always keep my word, Sookie. And while I grieved the loss of my human family for years after being made vampire, it was a thousand years ago. I thought I'd long stopped grieving for them, I thought the rage had died out. I was wrong," he shrugged, though I felt how upset he truly was.
"Just because you stopped thinking about it every day, doesn't mean you love or miss them any less, Eric. It means you progressed through the normal stages of grief. It's supposed to hurt less over time, honey. I feel guilt from you – please tell me you don't feel like you forgot them. Or worse, that you somehow wronged them," I asked carefully.
"I feel both of those things, very strongly, actually. I'm also amazed at how perceptive you really are, in spite of the bond. You're so very young, and you were raised in the human world with no knowledge of my world, yet you understand so much. You're an amazing creature, Sookie Stackhouse," he breathed before bringing his lips to mine.
I let him kiss me for several long minutes before pulling away. It would be easy to ignore everything and just bury ourselves in our bond and our building arousal. But I couldn't let us. This was too important.
"You are NOT to feel guilty, mister! You hear me," I scolded passionately as I waggled my finger at him. "They've been gone for many, many years, Eric. The fact that you never abandoned your search for their killer, and that you remained true to a promise you made all those years ago, proves how much you loved them. How devoted and loyal you were to them, even after you were no longer human. Eric, you should be so proud of yourself. Bill can hardly recall some details of his human life because he didn't want to remember. You not only held onto your human memories, but you kept them fresh enough after a thousand years that I could see every detail. I could practically smell the fire, Eric. You honor your family greatly, my love," I finished passionately, not even realizing what I called him at first.
He stared at me for a long moment before his lips crashed to mine. Suddenly I was drowning in feelings of warmth, affection, and pride. It was almost overwhelming, how strongly he felt. I no longer wondered if he loved me. I knew. I could feel it surrounding me, penetrating every cell in my body. Eric didn't need to say it, ever really, as long as I could feel it like this.
"I think you will always continue to surprise me, my Sookie. I am very glad to call you mine," he breathed as his forehead came to rest against mine.
I panted for air, so very thrilled it no longer hurt to do so, as I sent him some of the same feelings he'd flooded me with. "I'm glad too. You're mine, Eric Northman, and I have no intentions of letting you go. Ever," I whispered. I hoped he knew what I was saying, even though I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. But in that moment I knew I'd let Eric bring me over so that I could stay with him forever.
I'd always said I didn't want to be a vampire, but… why would anyone wither and die while the love of their existence stayed forever young? My childish morality had been holding me back, forcing me to feel guilty and ashamed of my life. I'd been an outcast my whole life! Why should those people who'd always treated me so poorly decide my fate?
The anwer about cold-cocked me: they shouldn't. Period.
The shock and happiness I felt from him made me smile, and thankfully he didn't comment further than to agree he was mine, completely. We'd talk about turning me eventually, I knew.
Just… not tonight.
"Now, I can guess why you freaked, but what does this all mean for us now?" I asked, changing the subject back to the clusterfuck at hand.
"It means I have to figure out how to kill a vampire more than three times my age without meeting my final death," Eric sighed, suddenly sounding every minute of his age.
"What can I do to help?" His shock at my question was so profound it almost felt as though I'd struck him.
"You would willingly volunteer to take on a 3,000 year old vampire to help me, lover?" he asked in a playful tone, but I could sense his awe.
"Of course. If I'm going to get the chance to love you, you have to stick around," I replied just as sassily, earning a deep chuckle and one hell of a kiss from my vampire.
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New chapter coming tomorrow!
Love and hugs to all – thanks for taking this journey with me!