So I spent a long time picking a song for this chapter (you'll see why later) because I wanted it to fit, not only their mood, but also reflect the coming events. (And I don't own the song, disclaimer at the end) So, enjoy and let me know what you think! I really appreciate all the reviews I've been getting from you guys and I hope to see more!
Ch. 16-Prelude to a kiss
It had been almost a week and a half since the Shell Cycle incident, and life at the lair had never been weirder. This uncharacteristic silence was really getting to all of them, but especially to Michelangelo. On the brighter side of things Raphael and Leonardo hadn't bickered, fought or snapped at each other since that fateful night, but at the same time, Donatello and Splinter were beginning to wonder whether that was actually going to make it worse when they do. After all, now there was at least a week's worth of tension on their shoulders instead of just the usual few days they spent between fights.
Donatello and Michelangelo had no doubt that whatever words of apology had passed between their older brothers, there must have been some serious heart-to-heart going on. Of course that might not seem like a big deal, but then again: this is Raphael we're talking about. And goodness knows Leonardo can be just as stubborn as the hothead when discussing his feelings.
Currently the two younger turtles were in the main room, their eyes calmly and quietly watching the unfolding situation.
It had been a while since the…erm 'motorcycle accident.' And, to put it bluntly, Raphael wanted out. And Leonardo, being the overprotective, worrying elder brother that he was, had refused. Mikey and Donnie were keeping a careful eye on the two of them, even if only to make sure that it didn't end up like last time. (Leonardo had fessed up and told them what he'd said after Raph had left.)
"Raphael, no means no!"
"Look, Leo, I know you don't understand, but I need to go up! I've stayed down here as long as I can take! I have to get topside! I'm fully recovered. You've been letting me out on patrol haven't ya?!"
"When we're on patrol you're with us, we can watch out for you!"
That definitely struck a nerve. Raphael drew in a long breath and his jaw clenched. His next words were low and dangerous, his green eyes now on fire, "You sayin' I need a chaperone, Fearless?"
Mikey and Donnie exchanged nervous glances, this was turning into a fight, and it was escalating fast. The question was: should they step in? Donatello looked insightfully at Raphael's face. The hothead's muscles were tense, his back was a little straighter than his usual posture and he looked just plain exhausted. The turtle's brown eyes narrowed. Has Raph been sleeping? He wondered, before continuing his assessment of Raph. More than just tired, Raphael looked stressed out. Like he was worried about something. But, perhaps the most telling factor of all was that he looked in desperate need of an emotional outlet. Much as the brainy turtle hated to admit it, Raph was right. He need to go topside. And he probably needed to do it alone if he wanted to achieve any relief whatsoever. Don met Mikey's gaze again. This time, the youngest was about to interject, when Donatello put a hand on his shoulder and motioned him not to interfere. This one was all their brother's battle. If it didn't concern them, they had no right to interfere. Of course, that wouldn't stop them from jumping in if it led to an all-out brawl.
Leonardo paused for a moment before answering, "I'm saying that every time you go up there by yourself you end up getting hurt. I'm saying I'm not going to stand for it any more. I'm saying we don't want a repeat of last time."
Ah yes, thought Don, I'd almost forgotten what tension felt like…almost.
Raph's gaze quickly fell to the floor and he looked down, which was very uncharacteristic of him. All three of his brothers knew how stubborn he was, and there had been many times they had teased him about it. But they were all very surprised when their hotheaded brother said nothing, but instead approached the eldest.
"Leo, I know you're worried about me. I…can understand that. Especially after what happened, but please. I need this, bro." Leo glared at him. "I know you're going to say that my saying please won't automatically make you let me out, but just hear me out. I know you've all," he gave a pointed look at Donnie and Mikey, whom he knew were listening, "been really scared by what's been happening to me lately, and I'm sorry I put you guys through that. But you have to know that I can't just be down here all the time. It's really hard for me. I gotta get some release, and strangely enough, I can only get that by being topside, and alone." The last was addressed to Leonardo, who was probably about to suggest a compromise where one of them went with him.
Donatello decided that enough was enough. Leo was never going to give in unless he was convinced, and obviously Raphael's assurance alone wasn't good enough, given the circumstances. "Let him go, Leo. It's obvious that all of this is affecting him as much as it is us. He's right. He needs it, if not for his mental health then for his physical wellbeing." Donatello walked over to the eldest and bent over slightly to whisper in his ear, "Take a good, long look at him, Leo. He hasn't slept in days, he's physically exhausted and emotionally strained. He's no better than a ticking time-bomb waiting to explode. It's safest to let him go now, while he's being ration than to have him storm off in a whirlwind of emotions and get himself shot at like last time."
Leo's lips turned downward into a frown. Donnie was right, Raph did look exhausted and stressed. The leader sighed. "Alright. You can go." Instead of receiving the customary Raph-victory-smirk he had been expecting all the blue-masked ninja saw was a rather relieved grin. Just before the hothead reached the door Leo yelled out, "You better be home by curfew!"
The emerald green turtle held up his right hand, "Swear." And with that he turned and ran the rest of the way out of the lair.
"Be safe." The eldest whispered after him, by that point the other was long gone.
Donnie sensed Leonardo's fear and he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I wish I could promise you that he'll be fine, but with Raph, that is not generally the case."
"I know." Leo replied, his eye-ridges furrowed in a troubled expression.
The brainiac squeezed Leo's shoulder gently, "At least I can assure you that you made the right decision, no doubt about it."
Leonardo smiled briefly at that, "Thanks Donnie."
"Anytime."
He headed straight for Midori-er-her uncle's place, but she wasn't in her room. He pulled out his t-phone and sent her a text message: Where r u?
-Kitchen, she replied.
Ur unc home yet? He asked.
-Not due back for 2 weeks yet. Trip extended.
Raphael smiled and tried her window. He was happy to find that she had left it slightly open. The reptile walked through her room and soon found his way to the kitchen.
He found Midori, wearing short shorts, a t-shirt and a red polka dotted apron, a frilly red polka dotted apron. The turtle smirked, his head filled with smart remarks but the human turned and glared at him before he could say anything. "Don't even."
Raph held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, you got me." Then his mind registered the music. It was an ending playoff, but it was something he didn't recognize, so he asked, "Whatcha listenin' to?"
Midori's face flushed in embarrassment and Raph grinned evilly. He pressed a button on the hand-held music player that was plugged into the speaker system, going back to the song that had just ended and glanced at the background information.
"1955? I didn't know you were into old music." His green eyes glanced back up at Midori.
"It isn't exactly something you'd mention in an everyday conversation."
"On the contrary, it's totally something that would come up in a normal, everyday conversation. I think we've just never had one."
Midori ignored the turtle's commentary and went on, "The song itself is older. This artist just recorded it in 1955. "
"Oh." The turtle stated, deciding it would be better not to pretend he actually understood what she was talking about. He didn't know a lot about music. Well, sure, he could strike a few chords on a guitar and play a beat on the drums, but other than that, he was pretty much out of his depth. (What he did know was courtesy of an old guide to instruments book that had somehow ended up in the sewers. But he hadn't even read it all the way through and Don knew a lot more about most of the technical and mathematical aspects of music than he did. Raphael himself had learned most of what he knew by ear, which meant that basically he got his hands on the instrument, and from there it was all trial and error. If it didn't sound right, it probably wasn't, and so on and so forth.) "So who is it?"
Midori just stared at him for a moment, and Raph was beginning regret asking. Until Midori shrugged it off, "Well, I guess you wouldn't know. Not many people our age nowadays would. I wouldn't even know if it wasn't for a teacher I had once in middle school. He was real old-fashioned, and he retired the year after I took his class. But in your answer to your question, its Billie Holiday, one of the greatest jazz singers of her day."
Raph nodded, Midori's obvious love for the topic piqued his interest in it. "So, you like the music of the time period, or just her music?"
"Both. But I really like the style of music that was written then, especially the love songs like this one; they're just so sweet and timeless. I guess I'm sort of an easy believer. I expect love to be exactly like it is in music, without ever experiencing it. Well I suppose what I'm trying to get at here is the real reason why I like it is because, I'd like to believe, and it makes me believe that it's all true. You know?"
"Can't say that I do." Raph replied honestly, completely and hopelessly lost.
She punched him lightly in the shoulder, "It was a rhetorical question!" Midori giggled for a moment before she went on, "Also, what I'm listening to…reflects how I'm feeling. I'm sure you can understand that."
Raphael nodded, he'd often found that when he listened to music, consciously or subconsciously what he chose was in fact a mirror of how he'd felt when he had making the selection.
He picked up the music player again and restarted the song, which until now he had been ignoring in favor of their conversation. He paused it immediately, before it could even start, and turned to Midori, with an almost nervous expression, and held out a three-fingered hand.
She looked up at him, quizzically, and he quietly voiced the question, "May I have this dance?"
Midori's eyes widened and her cheeks colored slightly before she took a timid step closer. Raph started the song again, put down the music player and stepped up to the human, placing a gentle hand on her hip, the other, grasping hers. For the first few moments they moved awkwardly to the music, but then they found the beat and clung to it, swaying gracefully. After a few moments, both of them let the music and lyrics surround them and embody the moment.
If you hear a song in blue
Like a flower crying for the dew
That was my heart serenading you
My prelude to a kiss
And if you hear a song that grows
From my tender sentimental woes
That was my heart trying to compose
A prelude to a kiss
For much of the first few verses Raphael and Midori's eyes never left each other. But finally, after the awkward tension faded, they began to move around more, turning as they swayed from foot to foot. Midori let go of one of his hands and spun around gently, so that she had her back to him and her arms crossed in front of her. She swayed like that for a couple of counts before unwinding, guiding Raph's arms gently. The turtle obviously hadn't had much experience in partner dancing, not that she expected him to, but he wasn't that bad for a first-timer.
Though it's just a simple melody
With nothing fancy, nothing much
You could turn it to a symphony
A Schubert tune with a Gershwin touch
Oh, how my love song gently cries
For the tenderness within your eyes
My love is a prelude that never dies
A prelude to a kiss
When the song reached an instrumental break Raphael took advantage of the moment and pulled her closer. Midori acquiesced and lay her head against his plastron, allowing him to lead her in their dance. All the while in her inner thoughts, she was panicking. What is this? Why am I feeling this way? I don't know, another part of her answered, but it feels wonderful…it feels right.
With a gentle sigh, the human teenager wrapped her arms around his neck as best she could, stroking his carapace softly. Midori tucked her head just under his and closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment.
Raph looked down at her, concernedly, for a moment before he placed his now free hand tentatively on her other hip. After a few moments he, too, closed his eyes, feeling Midori in his arms, and never wanting to let go. Since that first day they met, he had known that there was something different about the way he felt about her. Now it was blatantly clear.
There was only one place he felt truly happy. And it was here, with her, wherever she was, it was where he belonged. Goodness knows he'd do anything for her. Heck, he'd already done a lot. Yet it seemed that now at this moment, nothing was more important than the girl in his arms.
The red-masked turtle became aware, for the first time, the true depth of his feelings.
A human teenager, who for quite some time now, he had regarded as very close friend, had won his heart. Raph had no idea how it had happened, or when, or why, but she was it. The one. It seemed so surreal, and yet…so correct. Midori already understood him. She could read him better than anyone else ever had, even Casey or his brothers.
She had trained with him, fought with him, tended to his injuries, provided him with the latest word on the street, but more importantly than all of that…Midori had managed to do the one thing that even his Sensei had not been able to accomplish. Yamamoto Midori could take relieve him of his anger. She had done it before. And Raphael had no doubt that she would one day do it again.
Though it's just a simple melody
With nothing fancy, nothing much
You could turn it to a symphony
A Schubert tune with a Gershwin touch
Oh, how my love song gently cries
For the tenderness within your eyes
At the word eyes, Midori pulled herself closer to the turtle and clasped her hands behind his neck, allowing him to support some of her weight. Bright green eyes flicked open and stared down into her luscious honey-golden gaze. They remained locked in this position, both staring softly at the other.
My love is a prelude that never dies
Their sways began to slow, and as the music began to fade at the end of the phrase, they ceased movement entirely. The singer's voice rang through the room in the final line of her serenade.
My prelude to a kiss
Then, as final line was being sung, the mutant and the human began drawing closer to one another. As the final note tapered off, Raphael moved in, about to close the few inches of space that remained between them, when her hand shot out and held him back.
"Please." She whimpered, "Please don't."
Raph's eyes widened and he pulled back immediately, taking a few steps away to give her space.
"I'm sorry," Midori whispered, her voice hoarse and filled with confusion, nervousness and even slight fear. Fear that I caused. Raph thought sadly. I never meant to hurt her… Before he could say anything, she went on, "I just…I honestly don't know how to feel about this." She gestured to the space between them, her hands shaking with nervousness. "I mean how...? I—and you're a…"
Raphael's attractive green eyes dropped to the floor as his heart fell to the pit of his stomach. He mentally finished her sentence. I'm a human and you're a mutant. It'd never work. What was he thinking?! How could he ever believe that a human, especially one as beautiful as her would ever want him? He asked himself woefully. Then he looked at her and said lowly, "No." she looked up at him, and almost as though she could sense his hurt she reached out, but he pulled away. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I never should have…" his voice faded and silence was left to reign.
Midori, her head still in a whirl, and feeling slightly on edge due to the awkwardness of the situation suggested, "Maybe you should go."
Raphael nodded weakly, "Yeah, I think so." The ninja turtle was gone before Midori could even say goodbye, and for a moment it seemed as though all the warmth in the room went with him.
Raph returned to the lair almost exactly an hour after he'd left startling all three of his brothers, who were laying/sitting on the couches watching television. Leonardo shot up from his seat, but Raphael walked right past him, heading straight for his room. The hothead's door closed with a slam, as usual, and the three of them exchanged glances. Leonardo looked down at his seated younger brothers, with worry. "You think he's okay?"
Mikey looked down the hall towards Raph's door and frowned. "I don't know. But I'll talk to him."
Before his brothers could get a word in edgewise Michelangelo had bounded over to Raph's door. Just as he was about to knock he paused and pressed his ear against the door. Raph was…crying. Raphael doesn't cry often, but when he does, it's usually when something really bad has happened. And whenever he cried, he was so emotional, he was virtually inconsolable. With another frown, Mikey steered away from the hall and towards the dojo.
There was only one person Raphael trusted enough to comfort him when he was crying…
Disclaimer: I don't in anyway hold copyright to the song Prelude to a Kiss by Duke Ellington and Irving Gordon. I just used it in my fic.
Please Review! I appreciate it! :)