Hey guys, I know I said the turtles would meet Midori this chapter, but that chapter is just turning out to be more and more massive and complex than I ever could have imagined. Therefore, in order not to lose your interest, (assuming I haven't already) I am giving you this super cute (and Sad) filler chapter! Yay! Sorry about the delay guys!

Ch. 20-Raphael's Depressing Dilemma

"Hey Don, ever heard of a singer called Billie Holiday?"

Don paused for a moment, and thought about it. "Jazz singer wasn't she?"

Raph nodded.

"I must have heard her name somewhere, but that's about all I know. Wanna use the laptop?"

"You can even look it up if you want, I just wanna hear some of her stuff that's all."

Donnie looked up at him for a moment and paused. Then the genius went over to his computer and typed it in the search bar. A few seconds later, he'd found a playlist and clicked on it. As the songs played, one after the other, Raphael just sat there. He had his arms crossed in front of him, his head resting on them gently as he focused intently on the music.

Donatello was slightly nervous. He'd never seen Raph look so far gone before. He pondered turning the music off, but after taking a good long look at the hothead he decided not to. He didn't want to make Raph even more upset…

The songs shifted from happy to sad, jazz to blues, and so on and so forth. Don took note of the fact that every time a happy, or upbeat tune came on, his immediate older brother would frown deeply and scowl at the screen. Finally, when the player reached a song about 'laughing at life' the hothead sat up and angrily, but controlling his force, pressed the 'next' button. The intro to the next song was sad, but Raph still had his finger ready to click the next button if need be. He was about to skip it when the singer began:

(Raphael's POV)

I'm a fool to want you

At that first line my hand fell away and I stared at the computer, listening to the lyrics intently.

I'm a fool to want you

To want a love that can't be true

A love that's there for others too

I'm a fool to hold you

Such a fool to hold you

To seek a kiss not mine alone

To share a kiss that Devil has known

While I can't say I identify with her situation, I mean having a lover who's unfaithful must be rough, but I can definitely say I know how she feels. Guess we both fell for someone we absolutely can't have.

Time and time again I said I'd leave you

Time and time again I went away

But then would come the time when I would need you

And once again these words I had to say

Strangely enough, I can't picture not having Midori. Especially now that we've gotten so close…I really hope my stupid mistake won't end up splitting us apart. Even if she doesn't like me back…at least we'll still have our friendship.

I'm a fool to want you

Pity me, I need you

I know it's wrong, it must be wrong

But right or wrong I can't get along

Without you

I can't get along

Without you

(Third Person POV)

The music faded away and Raph closed the tab and stood up, glancing over at Donatello, who had resumed work on…something or other, and Donnie looked up. "All done?"

"Yeah, that's all I needed. Thanks Don." He muttered before he wandered out the lab door.

Don watched him leave, stunned. Raph just thanked me. Like it was nothing. He didn't make a big deal of it, or anything. Donatello frowned. Something is definitely wrong. He thought, slightly concerned. I am going to find out what's going on, Raphael. I won't stand for this behavior any longer. I've had enough.

The Next Day…

Leo, Mikey, and Don were at the lair. Raphael was out…again. The sound of a t-phone receiving a text message caught their attention and they glanced around. All three of them checked their phones but it hadn't come from any of theirs. Finally Leonardo pinpointed that it was coming from the couch. He dug into the crevasses between the couch cushions.

'Hey, you, wanna come out and play? –M' was the message on the screen and Leo's eye-ridges furrowed.

The phone dinged again in Leo's hand, surprising him and making him jump. 'Yoo-hoo? Yo hothead you there? –M'

'I bet you forgot to take your stupid cell phone with you again. You are such an idiot sometimes, reptile. Bet you won't see these messages till way too late...guess I'm on my own. –M'

"Who's M?" Leo asked, regarding his younger brothers quizzically.

Mikey shrugged, "Don't look at me, bro, I may be an M but it sure wasn't me who sent those messages."

Leonardo's eyes narrowed fractionally, and a sound came from the Lair entrance. Raph entered and Leo stared him down, making him shift uncomfortably. The hot-head held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, I give, what did I do?"

Leo showed Raph the phone and the turtle turned a different shade of green. "Who is M?"

Then bright green eyes narrowed. "Must be a wrong number." A little to quick a reaction for Leo's taste.

"You're lying. The person calls you hothead and reptile, obviously this person knows exactly who and what you are!"

Raphael tensed, "And what if they do? They can be trusted."

"How can you be so sure, Raph? All they have to do is convince a team of spectators to come down and find us!"

Raph rolled his bright green eyes. "She'd never do that to me fearless! Now lay off! And hand over my t-phone!"

"She? All this is about a girl?!"

The red-clad turtle's neon eyes were on fire. "She's not just a girl!"

"Oh yeah, then what else is she?" Leo asked stepping purposely into his brother's space.

"Lay off Leo! I'm warning you!"

"Tell me the truth!"

"Hamato Leonardo I said lay off!" Raphael grabbed his brother's arm forcefully, the blue clad turtle staring at him wide-eyed. When he realized exactly what he was doing, the hotheaded sibling released his older brother, scowling with all his might. "Don't push me Fearless." He growled, making Leo literally stare. The ninja leader had never heard his brother use a tone so bitterly cold, even towards him.

Leo exchanged glances with Mikey and Don as Raphael stormed off to his room.

Something is going on. And we're gonna find out what.

Later that night…

Raphael sat in his room, still fuming over the confrontation he had just had with Lame-o-nardo. He thought about going to Midori's place...er her uncle's place. Wherever Midori was staying, that was her place. And she made it that way. If he were honest with himself, Raphael would even admit that there was nowhere in world he felt more at ease, or more welcomed. Even above ground, out of the sewers he'd become so accustomed to, he could always find a sense of peace and tranquility there.

He thought back to a night a couple of weeks ago…

Once when he had gone to visit her, she wasn't home yet, and he had amused himself by crawling in the window and having a look around. Even without her physical presence there was so much there that reminded him of her...he could be at ease. The room even smelt like her, a mixture of honey, flower petal and freshly cleaned clothes. Then he had found himself looking around at the room's contents themselves. The furniture, as he had previously noted, was lavish and if it was any indication of the rest of the apartment, must have cost a fortune. Raph's face fell. This is where a girl like Midori belonged. Surrounded by beautiful expensive things, living a life of luxury. Goodness knows, she deserves it. He thought. Oh who am I kidding. We come from totally different worlds. She belongs here. Not with me. What could I possibly have to offer her? Me, a hotheaded turtle who lives in the sewer? How could I have ever even thought I'd have a chance? Come on, Raph. It's time to face the music. She's...perfect and you're a good for nothing freak! She'll never want you, so you might as well give her up and stop wasting her time! ...but how can I? I...want her to want me. But she never will, so might as well give up! No, she's so special. She's different. But all humans are the same! His mind differed. But the beating of his heart as he thought about her stirred up memories of their time together, no matter how insignificant it might have been. I can't give her up. Midori is so wonderful, I refuse to let her go. Even if she does break my heart, at least I can spend time with her, I don't care if I end up having to watch her from afar. At least I'll be able to see her.

I love her, after all.

I do not own this song. I'm a Fool, performed by Billie Holiday. I just couldn't resist using it.