Darkgaze and Shrewpelt avoided each other as much as they could in the days after their break up. They slept on opposite sides of the warrior's den, took different patrols as much as possible, and didn't even look in each other's general direction.

Based on that, it wasn't long before the entire clan knew that they weren't together anymore. No one said anything to Darkgaze about it, but she figured it was only a matter of time. Curiosity was very powerful, after all, and in this time of relative peace in the Clans, gossip was the most interesting thing going on.

Darkgaze could tell that her mother was itching to bring it up; every time they talked, a spark of curiosity shone in Acornfoot's eyes. She never said anything about it, and Darkgaze never offered anything. Knowing Hawkstripe, he had probably explained what he could (and wanted to) about it to their mother, but that was different from hearing it from the source.

There was no way she'd be able to explain it anyway. Astertail was easy enough to leave out, but the rest.. Even to herself, everything seemed so silly. She had never even been interested in Shrewpelt, and yet she'd been his mate for nearly two whole seasons. How could she put into words the feeling of having no other choice?

There'd been no good reason to reject Shrewpelt, it felt like. "I don't love him," yes, of course, but the words had felt so cruel. Leading him on had been more cruel. She would have suffered in silence until there had been no good reason to put off having kits. And then, until one or both of them had died, she would have been..

Darkgaze didn't like thinking about it. For all the pain ridding herself of Shrewpelt had caused him, she couldn't regret it, not really. Regret the beginning, yes, but not the end. Never the end. Regret the way, regret the loss of the cat who had been her best friend for so long, but never the parting.

She felt like she was going in circles trying to justify this to herself, telling herself the same thing over and over again just in case it was more effective. And the sad (was it?) thing was, she did feel better.

The more days that passed, the lighter her paws felt. She and Astertail continued to meet, at first nightly and then, when that became impossible to keep up without their warrior duties suffering, every other night, and then every two nights. Darkgaze missed her on the nights she stayed in her nest. She felt lonely without Astertail near here, even in a den full of her clanmates.

But it wouldn't have been so bad, it might have even been manageable for a while longer, if Merlinstar hadn't quarreled with Cloudstar at the third Gathering since she'd began to meet Astertail. Darkgaze couldn't even remember what the fight was about. Prey, probably. A silly apprentice that got overzealous while chasing their first piece of prey, straight across the border. Perhaps one of the leaders offended the other. Either way, tensions were high between Shaleclan and Brushclan, high enough that one day Darkgaze found herself on the border, near the same place she and Astertail always met, facing down enemy Shaleclan cats in a battle.

It wasn't a skirmish. There were too many cats to call it that. Too many sets of claws ripping into fur and flesh. Too much at stake, it seemed, for a minor altercation.

So why, Darkgaze wondered, did the battle seem so pointless? Oh, she did her part, of course, sending Shaleclan cats screeching away. She intercepted attacks on her own clanmates, a whirling ball of gray and claws whenever she saw she was needed. That's what her duty was, what she'd been almost specially trained for. Not one-on-one fighting, not exclusively, but her battle-talent had been honed to a razor-sharp point. Things moved in slow motion as she sought out those who needed her.

Apprentices and warriors alike received her help, a quick save in a dire moment. She slashed her claws over a burly black tom and kept him off balance long enough for Raincloud to get back on his paws, and together they drove him away. Mouseflower, ganged up on by two cats, got the reinforcements she needed in Darkgaze and the tag-along Raincloud, and together they turned that tide.

She left them there and whirled around, casting her senses for anyone else in danger. Her sides heaved and she could feel the scratches criss-crossing her body, some superficial and others not so much, throbbing in time with her heartbeat. Something told her to turn her head left, and what she saw there drove out any other thoughts and sent her running.

Gorsestorm, her own clanmate, was facing off with a familiar tan-and-cream blur. They seemed evenly matched, but Darkgaze knew Gorsestorm. In a moment, just when Astertail would seem to have the upper paw, Gorsestorm would break out a perfectly-timed burst of energy to overwhelm her opponent, and she would not be kind about it.

Astertail fought well. Darkgaze wanted to believe she'd prevail, but she had faced Gorsestorm in too many practice battles to have much hope. Against another opponent, Astertail would have stood a much better chance.

Darkgaze leapt through and around battling cats. Shaleclan warriors swiped at her but she didn't stop, not until she'd reached her destination. She skid to a halt besides Gorsestorm. Astertail and her opponent- Gorsestorm and hers- leapt apart, surprised at Darkgaze's arrival.

She set a battle stance toward Astertail, angling herself so Gorsestorm couldn't see her face. "What's the big idea?" Gorsestorm snarled, but Darkgaze only hissed. Astertail stared at them both, wide eyed.

Please, Darkgaze thought, trying to twist her expression so Astertail would understand. Please, she thought again. She shook her head, the tiniest bit, as much as she dared to. Astertail glanced between them and took a step back, then another. She glanced down, just once, a slow and deliberate gesture that Darkgaze understood immediately. Here, tonight, Astertail was saying, and then she whirled around and ran.

"Darkgaze, I had that," Gorsestorm snapped, but she didn't wait for her reply. Darkgaze didn't watch her go, feeling her paws shake underneath her. Gorsestorm would find another opponent, and there'd be no intervening with that one. The cat would be at Gorsestorm's mercy, and she rarely had any. Darkgaze knew that many had died from the wounds Gorsestorm had left on them.

She had to get herself together. She turned, slowly. There were other who'd need her help, and

And Shrewpelt was staring right at her. His fur was ruffled from battle, and blood dripped from one of his ears, a new nick in it. His face was intense, but inscrutable. Darkgaze's heart skipped a beat. What had he seen? What had he seen? What

He broke eye contact and turned around. In a moment he had disappeared back into the throng of Clan cats. She stared after him, her paws lead. The fray around her was thinning. She couldn't tell who had won. She wondered if it mattered.

Sootfeather found her. She pulled her away from the battleground, leading her behind a pile of rocks, where she and Redpaw had set up a medical station. Darkgaze let the medicine cats look her over, and listened only vaguely while Merlinstar spoke. When she was done, Darkgaze couldn't remember a word she'd said.

When they made it back to camp, Sootfeather tried to give her poppy seeds, to help her sleep. Darkgaze refused her, but followed the order of rest. She curled up in the warriors den, as far front as she could, and napped.

She felt she'd slept only a moment when she woke and saw it was night. She slipped back out of the den and out of camp, her scratches and wounds protesting the whole way. She ignored the hurt and the way her paws still felt heavy, and kept on.

The border was battle-torn. Blood spotted the grass in places it wasn't crushed completely. Tufts of fur rolled across the ground on gentle breezes, and the wind carried a familiar smell towards Darkgaze, one that mixed with the cacophony of mingled blood and Clan smells. A familiar figure shone almost silver in the moonlight.

Darkgaze's paws felt lighter. She picked up the pace and hurried forward. "You're okay," she mewed immediately, relief in her voice.

"I am," Astertail assured her, and the relief was reflected in her own tone. "Oh, but you're hurt," she mewed, noticing the poultices still plastered to Darkgaze's fur.

"Just scratches," Darkgaze assured her. "I'm just so glad that Gorsestorm didn't hurt you."

"Gorsestorm?" Astertail repeated. She sounded surprised. "That's who I was fighting? No wonder you," and she stopped. She stared over Darkgaze's shoulder.

Darkgaze felt her stomach drop. She turned, slowly, and there he was again. Shrewpelt, staring at her. Oh no, she thought, but this time he didn't run away. He came forward, and the expression on his face gave her a chill that had nothing to do with the wind.

"What are you doing," he asked, but it didn't sound at all like a question. Darkgaze couldn't think of anything to say. "Who is this," he asked again, in the same tone.

"Astertail," the Shaleclan cat said. "I'm Astertail. Who are you?" She stepped forward until she stood by Darkgaze.

Shrewpelt only looked at Astertail for a moment before he turned his attention back to Darkgaze. He stared at her until she was driven to answer. "He's Shrewpelt," she mewed.

"Hello, Shrewpelt," Astertail mewed, and she sounded almost civil. "Shouldn't you be in a nest?"

"Shouldn't you be on your own side of the border?" Anger had finally started to creep into his voice. He stepped forward when Astertail, suitably chastened, stepped back until she was back over the border. He turned his attention back to Darkgaze. "What is this. How long?"

"Moons," Darkgaze answered.

"Before, or after," he demanded, his lips curling back to reveal just a hint of teeth.

"Before," she said, feeling like she was crumbling. "But not much, I swear." He knew. He'd figured it out and she hadn't even admitted it to herself yet. "Please, Shrewpelt. Please don't tell anyone."

"Why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I tell Merlinstar that you've been breaking the rules for moons?" he said, and his tone cracked parts of her.

"I love her," Darkgaze whispered, to him, and herself, and Astertail. "Please." It seemed the wrong thing to stay. Shrewpelt bared his teeth more and took a step back. His eyes were wide with hurt and betrayal. "Please," she tried again. It felt as if any words she could think to say would be the wrong ones. "If it meant anything to you, please."

"It didn't mean anything to you," he snapped, the edge of a snarl in his voice.

"I know. I'm sorry," she said, and it felt like the last words she had. "I'm sorry."

The anger drained out of him. "Are you?" he asked, a little hopeless. "Are you?" He took a step back, and then another, and then he was turning and walking away.

"I am," Darkgaze whispered, but if he heard he didn't react. Astertail reappeared back at her side. Her fur pressed against Darkgaze's own, and they watched him leave together.

"Did you mean it?" Astertail murmured when he'd vanished into the night.

"Of course I did. I wouldn't have said it otherwise." At that, Astertail was silent for a moment. Then her head nuzzled into Darkgaze's neck.

"I love you too," she breathed, just loud enough for Darkgaze to hear. "But what in Starclan's name are we going to do now?"

"He won't tell," Darkgaze mewed, and she had to believe it. "Not yet. He's- Not yet." Astertail said nothing else, and Darkgaze couldn't blame her.

A long time passed before they'd calmed down enough to talk seriously. Darkgaze took the lead, admitting, "I don't think I can do that again. The battle. Against you, I mean. Not being able to fight with you, for you."

"I know what you mean," Astertail murmured. "I couldn't stop thinking, these are all Darkgaze's friends. What if that's her brother? Her mother? Knowing my clanmates might hurt you, or someone you care about.."

"What are we going to do?" Darkgaze wondered. "I don't think we can keep meeting like this."

"I don't want to give you up," Astertail whispered.

"I couldn't bear it," Darkgaze agreed, and they sighed. "I don't want to go back at all."

"Do we have to?" Astertail thought aloud, her tone bitter. "What can we even do?"

"I love you," Darkgaze said. "We'll think of something."

"I love you too," returned Astertail, and the words felt like coming home. "I don't think we should leave it for long, whatever we decide."

"Tomorrow," Darkgaze said bitterly. "We'll think of something, and tomorrow.."

"Whatever it is," Astertail agreed. She pressed her nose against Darkgaze's cheek, and Darkgaze licked her neck.

They parted then, and Darkgaze couldn't help but wonder how many more meetings there would be between them.

When Darkgaze slipped back into the warrior's den, Shrewpelt was still awake, curled up in the middle of the den, nearer to the entrance. He said nothing, only looked briefly at her and then his eyes slid shut. She wondered if he had been waiting for her to come back. Then, furiously, she told herself it didn't matter.

Her dreams were filled with the shadowy, expressionless figure of her father.