Darkgaze expected some resistance when she walked back into camp, though she didn't know why. Someone to ask where she'd been, at the very least. But no one did. No one even seemed to notice she'd been gone most of the morning.
She made sure to take a good, last look at the Brushclan camp. It already felt surreal, the wide, bright open space compared to the close darkness of Caveclan's tunnels. She looked up at the cliff backing the camp, the top of which was the plateau known as Starclan's Eye.
She wondered why her heart hurt only the tiniest bit.
Acornfoot emerged out of the warrior's den just as Darkgaze's line of sight crossed it. She spotted her daughter and moved across the camp. "There you are!" she mewed. "I was wondering."
"Hello," Darkgaze mewed. Her voice was weak. The mix of heartbreak and sadness lingering in the back of her throat wasn't surprising. "I wanted to talk to you. Do you know where Hawkstripe is?"
"Dawn patrol, I believe," Acornfoot said, tilting her head. "Is something the matter, dear?"
"In a sense," Darkgaze responded. "I'd like to tell you both together."
"Then why don't we go wait for him?" Acornfoot suggested. "They'll pass right by Wellspring Rock on their way back." She flicked her tail and started towards the camp exit. Darkgaze followed her.
At the destination, where a thin stream of water bubbled out from a small, cracked boulder, Darkgaze could feel her mother looking at her while they waited. Darkgaze offered her nothing, though she felt bad for it.
Anxiety built in her as they waited, and it spiked when Hawkstripe came trotting into view, with his patrol. They kept going, casting curious looks at the two waiting, and Hawkstripe stayed.
"Hey!" he mewed, pleased to see his kin. "What's up?" He paused, noticing the grim expression on Darkgaze's face, and the way Acornfoot was peering at her. "Um, somethin' the matter?"
"In a sense," Darkgaze repeated. "I need to talk to you two."
Hawkstripe bent to take a drink from Wellspring Rock. He straightened back up and flicked water off his whiskers. "Alright," he mewed, wary.
"I've been in a relationship with a Shaleclan cat for the past few moons," Darkgaze admitted. She winced at Acornfoot and Hawkstripe's gasps of shock. "She and I love each other," Darkgaze continued, staring at where the water flowed from underground. And then she explained the whole thing, how she and Astertail were joining Caveclan together.
While Acornfoot looked sadly resigned, Hawkstripe reacted more negatively. He begged at first, pleaded with her that there was another way. When she didn't give way, he switched to anger and offense, and then back again, a whirlwind of emotion she could hardly keep up with.
"Stay," he demanded. "Please. You're my sister. I don't want to lose you. Stay!"
Darkgaze felt herself sink under the weight of his words. "It's too late. I'm already Caveclan," she whispered when he'd finally fallen silent.
"How could you do this to us," Hawkstripe snarled. His fur puffed up and he shook from too many emotions to name.
"I love her," was the only thing Darkgaze could think of to say.
"But we love you too," Hawkstripe mewed, and then he buried his face into her neck.
"She will always be your kin, Hawkstripe," said Acornfoot gently, laying her tail across his flank.
"Think of it this way," Darkgaze tried, "With me gone, maybe you and Shrewpelt.."
If their mother was surprised at that revelation, she didn't show it. She only edged closer when Hawkstripe straightened back up. He stared at her, eyes shining with betrayal. "You think that matters?" he hissed, low, and without another word whirled around and leapt away.
Darkgaze stared after him, regretting her choice of words. She and her mother sat, silent, staring after where he'd vanished. "I have to go tell Merlinstar," she mewed after a moment, words hollow.
Acornfoot murmured, "Let's go, then." And Darkgaze, for the very last time, walked with her mother back into the camp.
Merlinstar laid near her den, in a warm patch of sunlight. She looked up as Darkgaze approached and pushed herself to her paws. "There you are, Darkgaze," she mewed. "We missed you on patrols. Did you go somewhere?"
"I- yes. I need to talk to you, Merlinstar," Darkgaze mewed. By the puzzled look on her face, Darkgaze could tell Shrewpelt had said nothing to get.
"Yes? What is it?" Merlinstar stretched and yawned. "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you, as well. Honestly, I've been curious, about what happened between you and Shrewpelt."
"Merlinstar, please, it's important," Darkgaze tried.
"What was the issue?" Merlinstar wondered, oblivious. "Ah, was it about kits? I know he wanted them-"
"Merlinstar!"
Merlinestar just kept going. "Was it that you didn't? That's a silly reason, really, I think he would've been happy just-"
And here Darkgaze couldn't deal anymore. "MERLINSTAR!" she cried, old guilt and shame churning in her stomach. Merlinstar twitched an ear, obviously offended. Her jaws clicked shut. "Please, I need to talk to you," Darkgaze continued. "And not about that."
"What, then?" Merlinstar spoke, tail flicking.
"I'm leaving Brushclan," Darkgaze all but whispered.
"I'm sorry?" Merlinstar mewed, shock written all over her face. It seemed to be the only thing she could manage to say.
"I'm leaving Brushclan." Hurriedly, she explained the basics.
"That's why you left Shrewpelt," Merlinstar realized, recovering a little. "Where are you going to go, then?" Immediately after, she added, "Shaleclan," and when Darkgaze shook her head, she mewed, "Then where?"
"Caveclan," Darkgaze mewed. "That's where I was this morning. We went and asked, and they said yes. Please, you have to understand. I love her."
Merlinstar stood up and paced. "Why can't she join Brushclan?"
"How can I ask her to leave her family when I keep mine? How could she?"
"You both leave your clans?" Merlinstar mewed, puzzled.
"We both lose something. Both of us. It's the fairest thing we could come up with."
"And you both gain, or something like that. I see." She flicked her tail sharply, obviously irritated. "But what about us, Darkgaze? What about your kin?"
"They know already," Darkgaze mewed. She felt exhausted. "I love all of you. I do. But I can't be without Astertail. I love her."
"I can see I won't change your mind," Merlinstar mewed. Her voice was suddenly cool. "Then I suppose we'd better tell everyone the news." She stalked away to leap up the rock pile that encased the leader's den. She yowled, loudly, calling for a meeting. In only a few moments the Clan had assembled. Darkgaze stood beneath Merlinstar, her head dipped.
Merlinstar stood straight and proud atop the rocks. "I have an announcement," she mewed loudly. Her voice betrayed no emotion. Darkgaze was surprised at her control. "Darkgaze has left Brushclan." She paused to let the murmurs of shock die down, and then continued. "Henceforth she is Caveclan, and should be considered as such. Allow her no special privileges. Treat her as you would any other outsider." She looked over at where Raincloud and Spottedface were sitting, and beckoned them over with a wave of her tail. "Escort her to the border for me," she instructed. Ignoring the mutterings of her Clan, Merlinstar descended her perch and vanished into her den. A moment later, Larkwhisker followed her.
As she looked out across the crowd of the cats she had once been apart of, Darkgaze caught a glimpse of Shrewpelt. He stared straight at her, shock written clearly on his face. She wondered what he had expected. Beside him, Hawkstripe sat. She couldn't see his face, though she tried.
Acornfoot took a moment to give her a last goodbye, pressing her nose to her fur. "He'll come around," she whispered, and Darkgaze hoped her mother was right.
Raincloud and Spottedface, obviously confused, flanked her a heartbeat later and escorted her out of the camp.
"The Palegrounds, please," Darkgaze mewed quietly, and they easily set a course for there. She could tell by the way they kept glancing at her that they were exceedingly curious, but Darkgaze didn't feel up to relaying the story again.
They arrived before Astertail, but it wasn't long before she arrived. They purred when they saw each other and touched noses, but the gesture was tinged with sorrow.
"Hold on," Spottedface mewed, unable to hold back any longer. "What is going on?"
"This is Astertail," Darkgaze explained. "She's my mate. She's why I left Brushclan."
Spottedface and Raincloud exchanged shocked looks, but didn't say anything as Darkgaze and Astertail walked across the border and into Caveclan territory together.
"Are you alright?" Darkgaze mewed when they were past the river.
"Fine. It went as well as can be expected."
"Hawkstripe, he," Darkgaze started, but found she couldn't continue. A sudden hot rush of regret staggered her. Astertail, pressed against her side, kept her upright.
"I know," Astertail whispered. "I know. My father.. He never wants to see me again." For a moment they took the time to grieve for their losses.
When they'd recovered, they managed an even pace to the path Dawnflower had pointed out for them, and soon the cliff that marked the entrance to Caveclan's camp came into view.
Toadfur had returned to her sentry post. When she saw them, she waved her tail and leapt back down, waiting for them to get closer before hurrying inside. Darkgaze and Astertail followed her, and Darkgaze wondered to herself if the tunnels would ever feel comforting rather than stifling.
There were still many cats in the antechamber, and they all fell silent as first Toadfur and then the two newcomers appeared. They received nods from some, while others pointedly looked away. Like when they'd voted, the cats seemed clearly divided between those who'd snub them and those who'd welcome them.
Batstar was the first to truly greet them. "Here to stay, then?" he mewed, and when they nodded, he continued, "Good. There are a couple of patrols that need to come back, but after that we can get started."
Astertail and Darkgaze exchanged a puzzled glance. Start what? they wondered together, but they didn't wonder very long. The remaining patrols filed into camp not long after. One of the patrols set down the prey they were holding before joining the rest of their clanmates. When everyone was gathered, Batstar took his place on the same ledge from earlier. He beckoned for Darkgaze and Astertail to sit underneath.
When they were, he paused for a moment, casting a sweeping glance over his Clan. "I, Batstar of Caveclan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these two cats," he mewed, projecting his voice. "They fully acknowledge the mistakes they've made and wish to atone for them. With your help, and the support of their new clanmates, I pray they will succeed." He glanced meaningfully at the cats in the dim chamber. "Astertail, Darkgaze, do you promise to be loyal to the Clan that would accept you? To put your past mistakes aside and embrace the future that Starclan has laid out for you?"
They needed no prompting. "We do," they mewed in unison, their voices strong.
"Then by the powers of Starclan, we welcome you to Caveclan," Batstar mewed, satisfied. Yowls erupted from the crowd behind and around them, calling their names. There were more than they had expected, and the welcome felt like a rush of warmth.
Darkgaze and Astertail exchanged a glance. Whatever the future held, they'd face it, together.