On Thursday was the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class for the fourth-year Gryffindors. As Beth and Alex had revealed that Professor Lupin had been their family tutor and Neville and Ron added that they'd had some lessons from him as well, the other Gryffindors (minus Hermione) asked them what kind of teacher he was. They were happy to hear that he was a capable and kind teacher, and knew the subject well, since he had a Defense Mastery.
Professor Lupin walked into the classroom just before the lesson was due to start. He placed a briefcase on the teacher's desk and smiled at the class. "Good afternoon," he said. "Would you please put all your books back in your bags? Today's will be a practical lesson. You will only need your wands."
A few curious looks were exchanged as the class put away their books. They had never had a practical Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson before, unless you counted the memorable class last year when Professor Lockhart had brought a cageful of pixies to class and set them loose.
"Right then," said Professor Lupin, when everyone was ready. "If you'd follow me." Puzzled but interested, the class got to its feet and followed him out of the classroom. He led them along the deserted corridor and around a corner, where the first thing they saw was Peeves the Poltergeist, who was floating upside down in midair and stuffing the nearest keyhole with chewing gum.
Peeves didn't look up until Professor Lupin was two feet away; then he wiggled his curly-toed feet and broke into song. "Loony, loopy Lupin," Peeves sang. "Loony, loopy Lupin, loony, loopy Lupin-"
Rude and unmanageable as he almost always was, Peeves usually showed some respect toward the teachers. Everyone looked at Professor Lupin to see how he was react. He was still smiling, and merely said pleasantly, "I'd take that gum out of the keyhole if I were you, Peeves. Mr. Filch won't be able to get in to his brooms." Since Peeves was constantly at war with the caretaker, and in fact had been at odds with all the caretakers that had ever been at Hogwarts since the founding, the poltergeist paid no attention to Professor Lupin's words, except to blow a loud raspberry.
Professor Lupin gave a small sigh and took out his wand. "This is a useful little spell," he told the class over his shoulders. "Please watch closely." He raised his wand to shoulder height, said, "Waddiwasi!" and pointed it at Peeves. With the force of a bullet, the wad of chewing gum shot out of the keyhole and straight down Peeves's left nostril; he whirled upright and zoomed away, cursing.
"Cool, sir!" said Dean in amazement, while Lavender whispered to Alex, "You never said he was that awesome, Alex!"
"Thank you, Dean," said Professor Lupin, putting his wand away again. He apparently also heard Lavender's comment, for he added, "And I am pleased that you think I am 'awesome', Lavender, though I have never thought of myself as that. Now, shall we proceed?"
He led them to the staffroom and they entered. It was a long, paneled room full of old, mismatched chairs, and empty except for one teacher. Professor Snape was sitting in a low armchair, and he looked around as the class filed in. His eyes were glittering and he gave Professor Lupin a curt nod, for while the two were civil to each other and more-or-less got along, they weren't friends and Snape hadn't fully gotten over how the Marauders had treated him in their school days, even if Remus hadn't really participated. The fact that he had allowed his friends to let the teasing and bullying go on and rarely tried to put a stop to it made him just as guilty, and no amount of apologizing would ever make the two be anything more than colleagues that were polite to each other.
Professor Lupin returned the nod and made to close the door, but Professor Snape stood up and said, "Leave it open, Lupin. I'd rather not witness this." He strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him, and left the room, shutting the door with a snap.
"Now then," said Professor Lupin, beckoning the class toward the end of the room, where there was nothing but an old wardrobe where the teachers kept their spare robes. As he went to stand next to it, the wardrobe gave a sudden wobble, banging off the wall.
"Nothing to worry about," said Professor Lupin calmly because a few people had jumped back in alarm. "There's a boggart in there."
Alex flinched, recalling the first and only time he'd ever come across a boggart. He had been six at the time, and his worst fear had been scary monsters, since Fred and George had told him stories recently about monsters hiding in closets and underneath the bed. A boggart had somehow gotten underneath his bed, and when he had been getting ready to go to sleep, a hairy-looking thing with sharp, fanged teeth and slobber coming out of its mouth had appeared. He had let out a loud scream, and his parents, Uncle Remus, and sister had come running in to see what was wrong.
Beth had screamed upon seeing the monster as well, and their father had to take her out of the room. Uncle Remus had determined that it was a boggart, and would have taken care of it. However, Alex had pitched a fit, insisting that Uncle Tobias or Aunt Maria take care of it, saying that they were Aurors and it was their job to take care of scary and dark things. His mother had hastily firecalled Aunt Maria, who had Flooed over a minute later and vanquished the boggart. She had then assured him that there were no scary monsters hiding in closets or underneath beds, only boggarts that could take on that form if that was what one was scared off, and explained how to deal with boggarts. He had a couple of nightmares following the incident, but after that, had gotten over it and his fear of imaginary monsters.
Professor Lupin spoke again. "Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces. Wardrobes, the gap beneath beds, the cupboards under sinks-I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third-years some practice. So, the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a boggart?"
The Gryffindor quintet and Seamus raised their hands, and Professor Lupin called on Hermione. "It's a shape-shifter," she said. "It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will scare us most."
"Couldn't have put it better myself," said Professor Lupin, and Hermione glowed. "So the boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form. He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door, Nobody knows what a boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us fears. Which means, that we have a huge advantage over the boggart before we begin. Have you spotted it, Alex?"
Alex tried to remember what Aunt Maria had told him about boggarts, but it had mostly been about how to deal with them, not about any advantages over them. However, he took a stab at answering the question. "Er-because there are so many of us, it won't know what shape it should be?"
"Precisely," said Professor Lupin, and Hermione, who was standing next to Beth, put down her raised hand, looking a little disappointed. "It's always best to have company when dealing with a boggart. He becomes confused. Which should he become, a headless corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I once saw a boggart make that very mistake -tried to frighten two people at once and turned himself into half a slug. Not remotely frightening.
"The charm that repels a boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing. We will practice the charm without wands first. After me, please...riddikulus!"
"Riddikulus!" said the class together.
"Good," said Professor Lupin. "Very good. But that was the easy part, I'm afraid, You see, the word alone is not enough. Neville, could you come here?"
Neville, looking a bit nervous, but trusting that the teacher had things well in hand, walked forward. "Right, Neville," said Professor Lupin. "First things first; what would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world?"
Neville thought for a moment, then replied, "I think it's R-Rabastan Lestrange." That made quite a bit of sense, as he was one of the four people that had been involved in torturing Neville's parents for information on Voldemort following the Dark Lord's downfall, and the only one that had escaped. Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange were still in Azkaban, and the fourth person had died within a year of his incarceration.
"I see," said Professor Lupin said thoughtfully. "Hmmm...Neville, you live with your grandmother."
"Yes, but I don't want the boggart to turn into her either," replied Neville nervously.
"No, no, you misunderstand me," said Professor Lupin, now smiling. "I wonder, could you tell us what sort of clothes your grandmother usually wears?"
Neville looked startled for a second, before getting a glimmer at what the teacher was getting at. "A tall hat with a stuffed vulture on top. And a long dress, green usually, and sometimes a fox-fur scarf. Oh, and a big red handbag. You don't mean for me to turn the boggart to Rabastan Lestrange wearing my grandmother's clothes, do you, Mr. Remus, I mean Professor?"
"That's exactly what I mean, Neville. When I let out the boggart from the wardrobe, it will see you and take on the form of Rabastan Lestrange. You will raise your wand -thus- and cry 'Riddikulus' - and concentrate hard on your grandmother's clothes. If all goes well, the boggart Rabastan Lestrange will be forced into that vulture-topped hat, and that green dress, with that big red handbag."
There was a great shout of laughter, and the wardrobe wobbled more violently. "When Neville is successful, the boggart is likely to shift his attention to each of us in turn," continued Professor Lupin. "I would like all of you to take a moment now to think of the thing that scares you most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical..." The room went quiet. Alex thought...What scared him most in the world.
He knew it was no longer the fear of his six-year old self, scary monster. The next thing that he thought of was possibly Tom Riddle, but as Lord Voldemort at full strength. He started contemplating possible counter-attacks on a boggart-Voldemort, but before he could think of anything, a horrible image of the dementor on the train came floating to the surface of his mind. Alex shivered, then looked around, hoping no one had noticed. Many people had their eyes shut tight. Ron was muttering to himself, "Take its legs off." Alex was sure he knew what that was about. Ron's greatest fear was spiders.
"Everyone ready?" asked Professor Lupin. Alex felt a lurch of fear. He wasn't ready. How could you make a dementor less frightening? However, he didn't want to ask for more time, for everyone else was nodding and rolling up their sleeves.
Everyone backed away so that Neville could get a clear shot, and Professor Lupin opened the wardrobe with his wand. Rabastan Lestrange stepped out, menacing and looking like the photo of him that had been in the Daily Prophet when the newspaper had reported on the mass escape. Neville backed away, his wand up, mouthing wordlessly. Rabastan was bearing down upon him, reaching inside his tattered robes,
"R-r-riddikulus!" squeaked Neville. There was a noise like a whip crack. Lestrange stumbled; he was wearing a long, lace-trimmed dress and a towering hat topped with a moth-eaten vulture, and he was swinging a huge crimson handbag.
There was a roar of laughter; the boggart paused, confused, and Professor Lupin shouted, "Parvati! Forward!" Parvati walked forward, her face set. Lestrange rounded on her. There was another crack, and where he stood was a blood-stained bandaged mummy; its sightless face was turned to her and it began to walk toawrds her very slowly, dragging its feet, it's stiff arms rising-
"Riddikulus!" Parvati cried, and the bandage unraveled at the mummy's feet; it became entangled, fell face forward, and its head rolled off.
Seamus was next and the boggart turned into a banshee, who opened her mouth wide and started wailing an unearthly shriek. He shouted, "Riddikulus! and the banshee made a rasping noise and clutched her throat; her voice was gone.
Crack! The banshee turned into a rat, which chased its tail in a circle, then-crack-became a rattlesnake, which slithered and writhed before-crack-becoming a single, bloody eyeball. "It's confused!" shouted Remus. "We're getting there! Dean!"
Dean hurried forward. Crack! The eyeball became a severed hand, which flipped over and began to creep along the floor like a crab. "Riddikulus!" he yelled, and there was a snap and the hand was trapped in a mousetrap.
Ron was next and quite a few people screamed as the boggart, which had turned into a giant spider, six feet tall and covered in hair, advanced on him clicking its pincers menacingly. Alex thought Ron had frozen, but then Ron bellowed, "Riddikulus!" The spider's legs vanished; it rolled over and over; Lavender squealed and ran out of its way and it came to a halt at Alex's feet. He raised his wand, ready, but Professor Lupin hurried over to stand in front of him.
Crack! The legless spider disappeared and for a moment everyone looked wildly around to see where it was. Then they saw a silvery-white orb hanging in the air in front of Lupin, who said "Riddikulus" almost lazily.
Crack! The boggart landed on the floor as a cockroach, and before Alex could do more than think that it was pity that Uncle Remus was a werewolf and that his worst fear reflected that, Neville was called forward to finish the boggart off.
This time Neville charged forward, looking determined, and the class had a split-second view of Rabastan Lestrange in his lacy dress before Neville let out a great "Ha!" of laughter. The boggart exploded, burst into a thousand tiny wisps of smoke, and was gone.
"Excellent," cried Professor Lupin as the class broke into applause. "Excellent, Neville. Well done, everyone... Let me see...five points to Gryffindor for every person to tackle the boggart-ten for Neville because he did it twice...and five each to Hermione and Alex."
When Alex protested he didn't do anything, Professor Lupin reminded him that he and Hermione had answered the two questions correctly at the start of class. The Professor Lupin told the class to read the chapter on boggarts and summarize it for homework, and dismissed the class. Before they could leave however, he asked Alex and Beth to stay behind.
Thinking that Remus was going to explain why he didn't let Alex face the boggart, the two walked up to him as the rest of the class filed out. However, once everyone had left the room, his expression became stern. "I heard that the two of you dropped Divination and replaced it with Ancient Runes?"
Beth nodded. "Professor Trelawney annoyed us, and comes across as a fraud. She predicted Alex's death after seeing his tea leaves, and you know that's a load of rubbish. If Alex was going to die anytime soon, someone in the family would have foreseen it, and anyway, the Romani don't believe in the Grim. Other death omens, yes, but not the Grim."
"I realize that Professor Trelawney may not be the most qualified person to teach Divination," Professor Lupin said. "However, there is a reason she was hired, and you know that she does have the Sight, it's just not very reliable. That is not what I wished to speak to you two about, though. It is perfectly fine for you to feel that her class is not helpful and to drop the subject. What is not fine is how you went about doing so. At the staff meeting that's always held at the end of the first day, Professor Trelawney kindly informed me what you said to her when I asked her about your dropping the class."
"What about it?" asked Alex. "We just told her that we were sorry, but we were dropping the class, and Beth said she would leave the tutoring of the subject to our mother and grandmother."
"If you had only informed Professor Trelawney that you were dropping the class, that would have been fine. However, you were quite rude to her. Just because you two have grown up around Seers with properly developed Gifts and you have the Sight, Beth, does not mean you can disparage Professor Trelawney's abilities. Were you not taught to respect your elders and superiors? Even if they are not deserving of your respect, you still shouldn't be rude to them, and keep any complaints to yourself. Whatever happened to 'if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all'?"
"I'm sorry, Uncle Remus," said Beth, who had been the ruder one of the two towards Professor Trelawney. "I do know better than to be rude to be a teacher. I was just very annoyed with her, and it caused me to say what I did. I know it's no excuse."
"I'm sorry, too," added Alex. "I have no excuse either, other than my being annoyed also."
"It's not me that you have to apologize to," said Professor Lupin sternly. "I wasn't the one you were rude to."
Beth flushed, and Alex said, "We'll go to Professor Trelawney right now and apologize for our rudeness to her, Uncle Remus, since classes are over for the day."
"Good," Remus said, his stern demeanor relaxing a bit. "I won't tell your parents about your lapse, and I hope my little lecture has reminded you to be polite to all your teachers, no matter how much they may annoy you. Oh, and Alex, if you are wondering why I stopped you from facing the boggart, it was because I was afraid that it might turn into Voldemort, and we didn't need the boggart version of him scaring the class."
"Oh," said Alex, having completely forgotten about it during the lecture about his rudeness. "Honestly, I didn't think about Riddle all that much. I was thinking more about the dementor."
"I see," said Remus, looking impressed. "That implies that the thing that you fear the most is fear itself. Very wise, Alex. Well, we can discuss this at a later time. I imagine that you and Beth want to get the apology over with as soon as possible and tell your friends what happened. You two are dismissed."
Beth and Alex left the staffroom, still embarrassed over having been rude to Professor Trelawney and being called out on it by Remus. Their friends were waiting outside in the hallway for them, and they quickly explained what the meeting had been about. Ron and Neville, realizing that they probably hadn't been that polite to Professor Trelawney either, said that they would go with the two to apologize, and Hermione decided to walk with them. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the North Tower, and knocked on the trapdoor. Professor Trelawney let them in, looking rather surprised to see them.
Ron, Alex, Neville, and Beth apologized for their rudeness, and the Divination teacher gave them a dewy smile and forgave them. She was disappointed to learn that they weren't returning to her class, but admitted that there was no point if they didn't have the Sight, and in Beth's case, she probably would be more comfortable learning from her mother and grandmother. After that, the Gryffindor quintet bid Professor Trelawney good-bye and they left the North Tower to get some dinner and start on their homework.