"Let's go, Patrick!" yelled SpongeBob.

Together they hurried to the back of Krusty Krab 2. SpongeBob unlocked a secret door behind the deep fryer. The door swung open and they leaped onto the poles.

A minute later both were down in Mr. Krabs's secret basement.

"It's dark and scary down here," said Patrick fearfully.

"Here we are," SpongeBob announced.

"I didn't know this was down here!" cried Patrick.

"Krabs has a lot of secrets," SpongeBob whispered.

Then SpongeBob led his friend through a hidden door and into a dark room.

"Feast your eyes, Patrick," announced SpongeBob, and he flipped on the lights.

Patrick's eyes popped out. "What is it?"

"The Patty Wagon," SpongeBob replied, stepping around a vehicle bulit to look like a Krabby Patty.

"Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons," SpongeBob explained. "Let me show you some of its features..."

As they stepped around the giant burger SpongeBob pointed out the details.

"Sesame seed finish...steel-belted pickles...grilled leather interior...and under the hood a fuel-injected french fryer with dual overhead greasetraps!"

"Wow," Patrick exclaimed.

"Yeah, wow," SpongeBob agreed, and then he hopped behind the wheel.

"Hey," said Patrick. "I though you didn't have a driver's license."

SpongeBob rolled his eyes. "You don't need a license to drive a sandwich, Patrick."

"Oh."

Patrick climbed aboard. They fastened their safety belts. Then SpongeBob turned the ignition key.

The fryer under the hood began to boil. The smell of french fires shot out the exhaust pipe. Then they roared up the exit ramp.

A garage door opened. Sesame seeds were flying everywhere as the Patty Wagon flew out the back of the Krusty Krab 2.

"Shell City, here we come!" yelled SpongeBob and Patrick in unison. Then SpongeBob pressed the Patty Wagon's fuel pedal to the grilled leather floor.

In a cloud, the Patty Wagon hurtled down the roadway at top speed.

SpongeBob grinned. Now they were really cooking!

*S*S*

Inside the Krusty Krab 2 poor Mr. Krabs was still frozen solid.

Above the restaurant's front door, the bells chimed.

"Ding-a-ling," said Plankton, marching in with an evil grin.

The Chum Bucket's owner waked right up to Mr. Krabs. "Hey, there, old buddy - freeze!" he cried.

Chuckling at his own bad joke, Plankton sat down at a table across from Mr. Krabs.

"I'd like one secret formula to go," he told his rival.

When Mr. Krabs didn't move, Plankton laughed.

"No, no," he said. "Don't trouble yourself, Krabs. I'll get it."

Plankton ran into the kitchen and tore the place apart. A few minutes later he came out holding a little bottle. Its label read SECRET FORMULA.

Then Plankton walked right toward the Krab-cube and approached the front door.

"Well," said Plankton, "I'd like to hang around, but I've got Krabby Patties to make over at the Chum Bucket." He laughed maniacally. "Plan Z, I love ya!"

Still laughing, Plankton walked out.

Inside his block of ice, a single tear rolled down Mr. Krabs's cheek.

*S*S*

The engine sizzled like a Krabby Patty frying on the grill as the Patty Wagon rolled up one side of a hill and down another. The headlights lit up a sign directly in front of them that read COUNTY LINE.

"Hey, we're almost there," said SpongeBob.

While they drove, the boys sang the Goofy Goober song, over and over again.

"I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah! You're a Goofy Goober, yeah! We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah!"

SpongeBob spied a gas station and pulled up to the pump. Two gas station attendants came out and gawked at the Patty Wagon. One of them wore overalls with FLOYD on the pocket. The other fellow's name tag read LLOYD.

"Fill 'er up, please," said SpongeBob.

"What'll it be, fellas, mustard or ketchup?" asked Floyd. Then the two attendants laughed and slapped their knees.

"Are they laughing at us?" Patrick asked.

SpongeBob raised his hand. "Don't worry, Patrick. I know how to handle the rural folk."

SpongeBob stepped out of the car and faced the two gas station attendants.

"I assure you gentlemen that this vehicle runs on high octane unleaded," SpongeBob informed them coolly. "The mustard goes in the windshield washer."

The gas station guys watched as SpongeBob demonstrated. He carefully lifted the mustard nozzle and filled up the windshield waster container. When it was full, he closed the container and hung the nozzle back in its place. But the guys at the gas station just laughed even harder.

"You see that, Lloyd," cackled Floyd. "The mustard goes in the windshield washer!"

SpongeBob was not amused.

"Where're you dumb kids heading, anyway?" added Floyd.

"Kids?" said Patrick angrily.

"Now, Patrick," said SpongeBob, holding his friend back.

"For your information, we are not kids," SpongeBob said in a matter-of-fact tone. "We are men and we are on our way to Shell City."

"Shell City?" said Floyd. "Ain't that the place guarded by a killer Cyclops?"

"That's right," SpongeBob replied.

Floyd and Lloyd suddenly stopped laughing and a serious look spread across their faces.

"Lloyd, take off your hat in respect," said Floyd grimly. "Respect for the doomed!"

Then they both laughed again.

"You two dipsticks ain't gonna last ten seconds over the county line," said Lloyd.

"Oh, yeah?" said SpongeBob. "We'll just see about that!"

He and Patrick hopped back into the car and gunned the engine. Then they drove across the county line.

Moments later an armed thug with a crowbar came at them.

"Out of the car, fellas," said the thug.

The boys climbed out of the Patty Wagon and the thug hopped in. He gunned the engine and drove away in a cloud of bubbles.

"How many seconds was that?" asked SpongeBob.

The gas station attendants checked their watches. "Twelve," said Lloyd.

"In your face!" cried SpongeBob.

Patrick and SpongeBob started to laugh.

"That's what I'm talking about," said SpongeBob, gloating. "Twelve is two whole seconds more than ten!"

"Yeah!" said Patrick. "Who's the kid now?"

Laughing, SpongeBob and Patrick walked away. As they disappeared around the corner, Lloyd looked at his friend.

"Yup," he said. "They're doomed."