Chapter 13

PRESENT

There was an awkward silence as we ate our food. I don't know what I'd prefer, awkward silence or awkward conversation. I took another bite. At least no one was talking about the weather - or sports.

"So, Tommy -" James began. "You planning on watching the game Sunday?" I smiled to myself. I spoke too soon. Before he could answer, Anna put her fork down and I knew something horrible was about to happen. She raised her arm.

"Sorry to interrupt sweetheart -" She turned to him. "But Tommy can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure."

"So, Tommy. What exactly are your intentions with my sister?" Oh, fuck me! Once Anna got started, I knew she wouldn't stop.

"Oh, here we go" James rolled his eyes, but didn't try to stop her - not like he could. I sighed and kept silent.

"Ahh -" Tommy nodded. You know what, I thought. I'm going to say something. He doesn't have to explain anything to her - after what - barely a month of dating.

"He's not answering that." I looked at Tommy. "Tommy, you don't have to answer that." I then turned to Anna. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing, I was just asking a question, Danielle." She glanced around. "I don't see any of you putting effort into any conversation."

"Yeah, well you picked a very specific question to ask. Who do you think you are?"

"Well I want to know. You haven't seen this guy in what - ten years and you think you guys can just get back to where you left off. You guys are completely different people than you were before."

"How the hell would you know?"

"It's OK Dani, don't worry about it," Tommy interrupted. " I'll answer the damn question if it will make your sister happy."

Anna raised her eyebrow, "Go ahead," she challenged. I held my breath.

"I love your sister more than anything in the world. I always have and I always will." I stopped fuming and blushed, while Anna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, says the guy who just got out of jail - because love pays bills right. Oh right, you have Brendan for that. Do you even know how to support yourself in the real world or are you just planning to see how long you can stretch out the rest of your service money?"

Tommy kept quiet, but his jaw was clenched as he looked off to the side - his leg, bouncing furiously. Anna was enjoying this. "Or we can talk about the man you've become. You know, I saw you on TV -"

"Stop it", I said as I grabbed onto Anna's shoulder, but she brushed me off. I was being ignored by both parties - caught in the middle of two firecrackers about to explode.

She continued. "Any of Paddy's behaviour rub off on you, huh Tommy?"

Immediately, he pushed his chair away from the table, and it made a loud screeching noise as he did, which caused everyone around, to take notice.

"You know what? Fuck this, and fuck you. I don't have to take this shit." Tommy got up from his chair.

"Tommy, wait." I said to him, but he was already walking off. I held my head down and tried to breathe. Count to ten - that always works. Why here? Why now? I thought.

"I see your vocabulary hasn't changed much Tommy." She called after him, obviously satisfied with her work.

"Great job, honey -" James sighed. She just shrugged and took a sip of her wine.

I don't know what she expected. Did she think I would just sit there and finish dinner with her? I clenched my fists and slowly lifted my head. "I can't believe you just said that."

"So, what's your point?"

I shot up out of my seat and slammed my hands on the table. "Get up. You get the fuck up right now!" People continued to look and gasp, but I didn't care.

She seemed shocked, but stood anyway. "Stop being so damn dramatic, Dani."

I pushed her in front of me. "Washroom! Go!"

After finding the washroom, I had calmed down a bit. "I can't believe you asked him that. You should have told me that you felt this way about him - way before we even got here."

"Well?" She began.

"I'm not kidding. You know how I feel about him and you know how he is. You know!"

She crossed her arms. "Yeah, well I didn't think you'd start dating him. He just got out of prison. He has no job. His fucking brother supports him. I bet he's a fucking alcoholic now after all the shit that's happened to him. What about Jay huh? What happened to him? He was nice - and reliable, unlike Tommy."

"You shut your mouth." I warned her. Every word that came out of her mouth made my blood boil. I felt like I was fifteen again and someone had just called Tommy a name.

"Then, he had an excuse." She scoffed. "But, he's even more of a loser than he was before."

I couldn't take it anymore. Before I knew it, my hand was raised and I had smacked my sister across the face.

She raised her hand to touch her red cheek. "What the FUCK is your problem? Do you know who I am? I'm your sister - your fucking sister. Not some chick off the street. I'm only trying to help you."

She wiped her lip that had a trace of blood. Did I really hit her that hard? She sighed. "I guess you haven't changed as much as I thought."

Since I turned eighteen, she was always making me feel bad if I let certain things bother me. You're an adult now Danielle. You can't go around beating people up when they make you upset. I guess I haven't changed. No wait - but I had changed, stupid things like this didn't get me upset anymore. I was a fucking career woman with a great job and a nice home, not some fifteen year old girl. I bit my lip.

"What do you think this is the 'Burghs? What -you wanna scrap now, honey?" She laughed.

"OK, you know what? Stop acting like you're better than me, because you're not. Hell, you're even worse. I don't know why James puts up with you. How can he stay married to such a..." I searched for a word. "A cunt!" I yelled.

I turned to walk away, but Anna wasn't finished.

"What the hell did you just call me?"

1994 - Danielle 12, Anna 17

"What the hell did you just call me?"

"C.U.N.T. Cunt." I told Anna sternly, to show I wasn't afraid of her.

"I bet you don't even know what that is. Did Tommy teach you that?"

"No, he didn't."

"Fine, I don't care. Just - give it back you dumb bitch."

"Mom gave it to me."

"No she did not! She said I could wear it and it doesn't even fit you." She ran up to me and tried to grab the sweater from my hands. It was dad's University of Pittsburgh sweatshirt that mom had found while digging through some old boxes. I wasn't budging and held onto it for dear life. She held it just as tight.

I pulled her hair and started punching her in head. She was bigger than me, so with one toss, she had me on the floor...

PRESENT

Wrestling. We were fucking wrestling. We were slapping and punching and tugging each other's hair on the floor of a restaurant bathroom. I don't know what made me more upset. What she said about Tommy or the fact that she kept treating me like I was inferior to her.

Then, we heard the door open. We got up as quickly as possible and brushed ourselves off. An old lady walked in, we smiled at her as if nothing had happened, our hearts still beating like hell. She smiled, checked her reflection and left.

Within seconds we started to burst out laughing.

"Oh, my god! You're such an idiot."

"Me? You started it. I can't believe you pushed me into the wall? I thought you were above that kinda stuff?"

"Oh, shut up Dani." She rubbed her boob. " You punched my fuckin tit, you bitch."

"I know," I laughed. "Well you know what they say? You can take the girl outta the country..."

"Yeah yeah yeah." She rolled her eyes.

I went to bathroom mirror to fix my hair. "Wow, we look like shit. I wonder what that lady thought when she walked in?"

Anna didn't reply. I frowned, remembering why we fought in the first place. "Look, Danielle.I'm sorry about what I said and how I said it. It shouldn't have happened. I was wrong OK, but I don't take it back. He's no good for you, despite what you think and I won't - CAN'T -" She corrected. "accept you two together."

"Accept us? I don't give a crap if you accept us or not, but what you said out there - It was a horrible thing to say. Gosh, it's like you have no filter sometimes! Do you know that the things you say can have an effect on people? Especially someone like him."

"I'm sorry OK, but I really think you can do better than someone like him."

"You don't even know him.

"I know enough."

"You know nothing -" I paused. "And, how do you know I can do better. Maybe I'm just like him."

"Stop it. There you go again, being all dramatic. Listen, no one marries the bad boy. Take it from me, I know. I mean it was cute when he was younger, but now it's pathetic."

I raised my arms in defeat. "You just don't get it, do you? You were WAY out of line."

"No, I do get it. He's had a tough life, and he needs someone to help him get his shit together, but that person isn't you." She tried to grab onto my arm, but I pulled away. "I want you to have a good life, an easy life. You have no business carrying around other people's baggage."

I smiled. "You know what Anna, I respect your opinion, but frankly, I don't give a shit about what you think."

She sighed. "I know you don't."

"Excuse me while I go find my boyfriend." I headed to the door.

"How about you try actually listening to me. He's gonna hurt you Danielle. I know it - and that's something I just won't stand for."

I stopped. "Tell James I said goodnight."

"Remember, he needs you, not the other way around." She called out. I let the door close behind me.

"You're wrong," I said under my breath. "I do need him."

A/N: Edited.