SpongeBob and Patrick were falling! But they didn't care. They had their mustaches. All was right with the world.

"Yeah!" cried SpongeBob, flapping his arms.

"Heeeee-yah!" Patrick screamed, spinning end over end.

They fell and fell and fell. Soon the thrill was gone. And the fear came over them.

"Uh, Pat?" said SpongeBob.

"Yeah?"

"Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?" asked SpongeBob.

"Because...ah...well...huh," Patrick replied.

Finally they looked down. The bottom was rushing up to meet them - really, really fast! They hugged each other, closed their eyes, and screamed.

Then they hit a branch. And another. And another. Each branch broke their fall a little so when they finally landed, it wasn't so bad.

"Patrick, we're alive!" cried SpongeBob.

"Wow," said Patrick, amazed. "The mustaches work!"

SpongeBob whooped. "You know what this means? We are invincible!"

With that, the boys started to sing as they marched deeper into the mysterious trench.

They marched on as if nothing could stand in their way.

As they sang, a monster Gobble Fish opened its mouth and swallowed SpongeBob and Patrick whole. But the new men weren't fazed. They just jept on marching right through the monster and out the other end, twiddling their new mustaches.

As they sang, Patrick and SpongeBob dodged doom. Monster clam traps tried to grab hold of the men. But they just hopped in and out of them. A deadly Manta Monster swooped down to attack, but SpongeBob was twirling his mustache so fast that the creature got confused and slammed into a rock!

Patrick skipped through a patch of stinging jellyfish. The jellyfish were so surprised, they ended up stinging one another! Now that Mindy made them men, nothing and no one could stand in their way.

Giant sharks and snapping great sponge- and starfish-eating sea turtles were no match for SpongeBob and Patrick. They danced over shark snouts and used the turtles' shells for surfboards! The men were having the time of their lives.

Enormous fish surrounded the two men. Everywhere they turned, SpongeBob and Patrick were faced with the scariest predators they had ever seen. But when they broke into their amazing tap-dance routine, the monster fish were amazed and awed.

Finally, the monsters realized there was no use in trying to eat SpongeBob and Patrick now that they were men. Instead, they joined in the festivities. Soon the whole trench was singing and dancing. The biggest, meanest monsters joined in the song and picked up SpongeBob and Patrick in celebration. Now that they were men, the monsters became their friends and rooted them on as they went to save the crown.

"We did it, Pat," said SpongeBob. "We made it past all the hideous disgusting monsters."

When the monster fish overheard SpongeBob, they all gasped. Their feelings were hurt, so they quickly swam back to their trench.

"Not you guys!" SpongeBob called. "You guys are awesome!"

Then SpongeBob flashed them a big thumbs-up.

But it was too late. The monster fish had already swum back down into their deep, dark trench.

"Oh, well," SpongeBob said, watching his monster pals go.

Then he slapped Patrick on the back. "Time's a wastin'. We gotta get the crown and save the town and Mr. Krabs. Woo-hoo!

"Come on, Pat," said SpongeBob, taking his hand and leading him away. "Let's get the crown."

XXX

Patrick and SpongeBob traveled for days. They journeyed over rivers and through valleys, along reefs and through jungles of seaweed.

SpongeBob and Patrick slept in shallow water, under the twinkling stars. They ran with a herd of wild sea horses. They ate lunch with a pack of sea cucumbers.

Finally they came to a sign that read SHELL CITY, DEAD AHEAD.

"Woooooo!" cheered SpongeBob and Patrick.

SpongeBob pulled out his calender and tore off the top page. Rrrrrrrrrip!

Ouch, that's gotta hurt, SpongeBob thought to himself. "Sorry about that, calender," he whispered.

Then Spongebob turned to Patrick and pointed to the date.

"Pat! This is great," he said. "We're going to make it to Shell City with an extra day to spare! I think we'll even have time to get something to eat."

"Finally I got you right where I want you," said a gruff voice.

The two friends turned. There was Dennis. He was sitting on his motorcycle and cracking his knuckles.

"Who are you?" asked SpongeBob.

"Name's Dennis," he said, touching the brim of his cowboy hat. "I was hired to whup you."

"He's gonna get us!" SpongeBob cried fearfully.

Then he laughed. So did Patrick. They laughed and laughed until they were blue. Finally SpongeBob caught his breath. Dennis was not amused.

"Listen, stranger," SpongeBob said. "I don't know who you're working for, but I'm gonna do you a little favor. Obviously you don't know who you're dealing with here, so if you'll just step aside, we'll forget this whole thing."

But Dennis just cracked another knuckle. "Oh, you'll forget the whole thing, all right, once I get you!"

SpongeBob's eyes narrowed.

"Well," he said, "we tried to warn you, pencil-neck. Now it's time to feel the wrath of our mustaches!"

Dennis reached out and grabbed the seaweed under their noses and ripped it off!

"You mean these?" he said. "I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime."

"Th-they were fake?" SpongeBob stammered.

"Of course they were fake," said Dennis. "This is what a real mustache looks like!"

Dennis clenched his face until he turned purple. Suddenly a bushy mustache pushed through the skin over his upper lip.

Patrick and SpongeBob were impressed.

"Is he a mermaid?" asked Patrick.

"All right, enough gab!" snapped Dennis.

"What...are you gonna do to us?" SpongeBob asked anxiously.

"Plankton was very specific," said Dennis. "For some reason, he wants me to step on you. That way you'll never find out that he stole the crown...Uh, perhaps I've said too much."

Dennis lifted his boot, and long spikes popped out. He held his foot over them as they stood trembling with fear.

"That's a big boot!" cried Patrick.

"Don't worry," said Dennis. "This'll only hurt a lot." He laughed and laughed. "I love this job!"

But just as Dennis was about to stomp on SpongeBob and Patrick, something appeared behind him. Then a humongous giant boot squashed Dennis flat.

Patrick looked up and screamed, "Bigger boot!"