AN: Sorry for the delay on this one, I was out of town for a couple weeks... The next chapters should hopefully come quicker.

Chapter Nine: Devil May Care

"There is nothing here! Why isn't there anything here?" Piper growled, slamming the Book shut and running a hand through her hair in frustration. It bothered her to no end that the tome that she had always relied on for answers – and vanquishing potions or spells – had nothing to offer her now. If the Book couldn't help her, if the Elders didn't know what was going on…

How was she ever going to find Leo?

It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. They were separated, after all, and she had somehow tricked herself into believing that her happiness with Greg meant that she was getting over Leo. But she wasn't. She very clearly wasn't.

She had already lost Chris. She didn't know how to save him, didn't know how to get Lucifer to undo the deal, and though she had no intention of ever giving up on her son, she couldn't help but feel powerless in this situation. The anger and agony was eating her up inside, and the helplessness was leaving her even more short-tempered than usual.

And now Leo…

How much more loss could she take?

The first time she had learned that Leo was missing, back when he had been left on Valhalla, she'd felt nothing. His spell had prevented her from worrying over him, and any fear or anxiety that should have been there was subverted beneath a magical façade of calm. She had been convinced that Leo would be fine, that his being an Elder meant he was more than capable of taking care of himself.

And when the emotions came back, when the pain and fear and heartache took her breath away and left her feeling so unbearably empty inside, she had been too furious at Leo to truly understand why he had tampered with her emotions. At the time she have believed that she would rather the pain of his loss than the nothingness of his version of help.

Now, though… now she almost wished for that magical relief. Now she almost wished for anything to make the ache inside her disappear.

"Piper, sweetie… calm down," Phoebe murmured, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her away from the Book. "Why don't you take a break. Paige and I can keep looking."

"I don't need a break," Piper snapped. "I need answers." She shoved herself roughly out of Phoebe's grasp and reached for the Book again.

Phoebe opened her mouth to reply, but then stopped as the room was suddenly illuminated in blue and white orbs. Piper turned, hope filling her at the possibility that Leo could appear.

It wasn't Leo.

It was Chris.

Piper's mouth fell open and for a moment, all she could do was stare blankly at her son. Her hands still rested on the cover of the Book, not quite willing to pull away from the only thing that might offer her the assistance needed to find Leo. But Chris was looking at her, and another part of her wanted to run to him, wanted to wrap him in a tight embrace and never let him go.

Yet another part of her wanted to run from the room entirely, and not face any of it. She wasn't a coward, but even the bravest woman would cower before the horrifying truth that she had let her baby be taken by the devil.

"Chris," Paige said, the first to find her voice. It was thick with emotion as she managed to stammer, "What are you… how did you…? Are you back?"

Piper watched as Chris' gaze moved towards Paige. The expression in his green eyes was more open than it had ever been, and she saw the pain and the uncertainty that played across his features as he looked at the youngest Charmed One.

There was anger there, too.

"What did you do?" he asked hoarsely.

"What are you talking about?" Paige demanded, worry giving her voice an unintended edge.

Chris flinched and his eyes darted away. "You did something," he said stubbornly, now refusing to look at any of them. "Lucifer wouldn't have just let me go. You must have done something." The rawness of his voice surprised Piper, as did the vividness of the emotions in his eyes. Where was his mask? Where was his façade? Where was the calm indifference that she had grown so accustomed to?

What had Lucifer done to him to make him break like this?

"We didn't," Paige breathed. "We didn't do anything."

Piper stiffened and Paige's words, even though they were the truth. They hadn't done anything to bring back Chris – but they had certainly tried. Yet Paige's words did not encompass that, did not tell of the countless hours she had spent in front of the Book, of the pleas and prayers she had sent towards the Heavens, of her desperate attempts to get him back.

She had tried – they had all tried. But Paige told only the ending – they had failed.

It sounded like an accusation.

Chris was looking at Paige in obvious disbelief.

She let go of the Book and took a faltering step towards her son. "We tried, Chris," she said. "We did… really. But we can't… we couldn't… I don't understand this any more than you do, sweetie…"

His eyes widened and then he pulled away from her. "Don't," he said harshly. "Just… God, just don't." He turned and ran a hand through his hair. "You did something," he said again, mulishly. "You had to have done something. And you can't… you can't just interfere. I told you to just… to just leave it alone. God, Piper, how could you do this to me? To us? To the future?"

Piper's heart skipped a beat. "Are you saying… is Wyatt still… not saved?"

She couldn't say the word evil.

Chris spun to face her, his mouth opening angrily, but then he faltered and shook his head. "No. No, he's fine. Lucifer said…" He trailed off and shook his head again. He seemed suddenly so confused, so lost.

"Then the future isn't in any danger," Phoebe offered, clearing her throat and speaking up tentatively for the first time since Chris' abrupt appearance.

Chris glared at her.

"Chris, sweetie," Piper said gently, "why don't you sit down? We can talk about this… about whatever happened, but you need to rest. You looked exhausted."

"I don't have time to rest," he spat at her, and there was a strange sort of desperation clinging to his voice. "I didn't come here to rest. Tell me what you did!"

"We didn't do anything!" Paige snapped back before Piper had a chance to reply.

Piper frowned as she studied Chris. He wasn't responding to her use of the word sweetie, and she could only assume that meant that he either didn't notice, or he already knew that they had learned the truth. It appeared as though he had spoken to Lucifer recently – his comment about Wyatt still being safe was proof of that. Had Lucifer told him what had happened?

What horrible truths had Lucifer spilled?

"Please, Chris, come sit down," Piper tried again, reaching out to catch his arm.

He started at her touch and stared down at her hand for a brief moment before lifting haunted eyes to her face. "There isn't time to sit down," he said, his tone calm and firm. For a moment, the mask slammed into place and she felt as though she was staring once again at the Chris Perry they had known for months. He was focused only on the mission and nothing else. "I need to know what happened. I need to know why Lucifer let me go. If he's done something, something to put the future at risk, I need to know about it now."

Piper was only partially paying attention. His arm was solid and so very real beneath her grasp. She wasn't quite ready to believe it, to truly trust that he was back. Alive and safe. But her hand was holding a real arm, and he wasn't fading away before her eyes.

This wasn't a nightmare.

She'd had plenty of those.

But this was different. He was there, standing in front of her, and she felt the relief slowly flooding through her veins.

He pulled his arm from her grasp. "Piper, are you listening to me?" he demanded angrily.

"Give her a moment, Chris," Phoebe said softly. "She's just happy that you're back."

"She shouldn't be," Chris answered automatically, shifting his gaze to the empath. "Not until we know why I am back."

"You're my son," Piper said simply. "I don't care about the why. You are back and that is the only thing that matters to me."

"It isn't that simple and it doesn't… who I am doesn't change anything," Chris hissed. "God, you act like… like things are different now, but they aren't." He spun around and walked away from her, towards the Book. "We need to find out what happened. We need to find out how this happened. That is what matters. That is all that matters."

"Chris, please…" Phoebe started, but Chris cut her off brusquely.

"Maybe the Elders will know." Chris flipped open the Book. "Or maybe some of the demons in the Underworld. Although I doubt we'll get them to say anything against Lucifer…"

"Chris, can't you listen to what we're saying?" Paige had to practically shout at him to pull his attention away from the Book. "You're my nephew. Wyatt's little brother. Piper's son. Can't you acknowledge that?" She was begging, even through the current of frustration in her words, and her plea echoed everything Piper felt.

Everything Piper wanted.

"I had a mission," Chris said. His tone was flat, but it sounded forced, as though he was doing his best to keep the emotion from overwhelming him, but he wasn't quite succeeding. Piper could see the anguish still in his gaze as he continued in his almost unemotional voice, "It was more than just saving Wyatt. It was saving the future and everything there. My family… Bianca… all of the innocents killed by Wyatt's regime… If Lucifer has done something to jeopardize that, then it doesn't matter that Wyatt is safe. My mission isn't over. And that is the only thing that matters. The mission."

"No, it isn't," Piper argued. The relief she had felt just moments ago was fading. Chris' return to their lives was still a miraculous event for which she would be eternally grateful, but he wouldn't look at her, wouldn't stop long enough to talk to her about anything besides Lucifer and she needed him to take a break. Just for a moment. Just long enough to tell her…

To tell her what? That he loved her? That he forgave her for mistrusting him, for mistreating him, for letting the devil take his soul? How could he forgive her when she hadn't even apologized? How he could say that he loved her after everything she – everything they – had done? How could he think of her with anything other than loathing for the way she had treated him?

"Chris, I'm so sorry…" she whispered.

He lifted his head and once more met her gaze. She saw the unadulterated anguish in his eyes.

"Don't," he said, his tone hard.

"But I am," Piper pressed, now on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry for everything. If I had known the truth…"

"Don't," he said again, and this time there was a hint of hysteria in his voice. His gaze moved away from her. "You don't know anything about… about the truth. The truth is that we have to stop Lucifer. The truth is that we're going up against an unbeatable evil. The truth is that if you hadn't interfered, we wouldn't have to worry about any of this in the first place!"

"We didn't do anything!"

"Well, someone did," Chris replied.

"Leo," Phoebe said softly.

Piper tore her attention away from Chris and looked at Phoebe instead. "What?"

"Leo did this. He must have traded his soul for Chris'. It would explain why he suddenly disappeared, why the Elders didn't know anything… It was Leo. Leo did this."

There was a moment of complete silence in the attic, then Chris asked in a small voice, "Why would Leo do that?"

The question took Piper by surprise, and she stared blankly at Chris for a long moment before saying, "Because you're his son."

Chris just stared at her, nonplussed. Then he asked, "So?"

"He loves you," Piper said, thrown by the sudden change in conversation and tone. "He would give anything for you, like you would – did – for Wyatt."

It baffled her that she had to explain this to Chris, and it baffled her even more that, despite her explanation, he was still staring uncomprehendingly at her. But then he shook his head and cleared the expression from his features, his gaze moving back to the Book.

"I need to talk to Lucifer again," he said slowly, clearly talking to himself. "Or maybe Lola. I need to find out if there are any rumors in the Underworld about Lucifer's next steps… although that will be harder. What is he doing? Was this his endgame or is there more?"

"Chris, please, talk to me," Piper said, coming to stand in front of him and placing a hand on the open page of the Book, pressing down on the old parchment and preventing Chris from continuing his search for answers.

His lips curled into a sneer. "Why? So you can second guess every decision I make?"

Piper let out a long breath. "Sweetie, I am so sorry…"

"Stop telling me that you're sorry!" Chris snarled viciously, and then, without waiting for her response, he orbed away.

He knew he had behaved like a complete brat. He hadn't wanted to; through the entire conversation with Piper, a little voice in his head kept telling him to stop. To calm down. To shove those tumultuous emotions to the far recesses of his mind and behave with the civility and decency his mother had instilled in him.

But he hadn't been able to. The feelings wouldn't listen to him, wouldn't obey his furious order to leave him alone. They kept plaguing him, refusing to let go, refusing to even slightly lessen their hold on him.

Chris sank onto the cold metal tower of the Golden Gate Bridge and stared out over the city. He shouldn't have gone to the Manor for answers. It had seemed like the only thing to do, and time had been of the essence. He didn't have the luxury of resting when Lucifer was still targeting his family.

But he shouldn't have gone directly to the Manor. He should have taken some time – allowed himself a few precious moments of peace and quiet – before facing the inevitable.

Chris! Chris, please, we just want to talk to you.

Piper's voice reverberated in his head. Calling him, begging him… He could tell that she was crying. He didn't have to see her to hear the tears in her voice, didn't have to face her to know exactly what she wanted to say.

Didn't she realize that he didn't want her apologies?

He shouldn't have lashed out at her. He shouldn't have yelled at her, at any of them. He should have stayed calm, should have kept that mask up, should have listened to what they'd had to say, dispatched of it quickly, and then gotten their help with Lucifer.

He couldn't do this without them. He knew that.

But… God, he didn't want to deal with them right now. Didn't want to deal with all the emotions that would surely arise. Didn't want to deal with their feelings of guilt and sorrow.

Chris, and this time it was Paige's voice, can you please come back? Piper really needs you right now.

Chris bit back a dark laugh. And what Piper wanted was all that mattered. Never mind what anyone else wanted. Never mind what got ruined during Piper's pursuit of her own happiness.

The bitterness coalesced into a hard ball in the pit of his stomach. It was hot, and it burned with a raging intensity that would have scared him if he'd given it any thought. But he was too wrapped up in his own frustration and worry to notice.

What was Lucifer planning?

Chris! Your mother needs you.

That was Phoebe.

And she'd gotten it all wrong.

Piper wasn't his mother, not really. He didn't recognize the three sisters from this time. They didn't fit in with the memories he'd had of them, didn't match the figures he'd built up in his mind. When he'd first left the future, he'd been so worried about facing them. He'd been terrified of what would happen when he saw them, when he found himself forced to lie and manipulate the people he loved, the people he idealized. But then, when he'd arrived, when he'd actually met them.

It had been so incredibly easy.

Piper wasn't his mother. Paige and Phoebe weren't his aunts. There were sharp lines that separated them from his own family, and he'd always managed to stay on the right side of those lines.

Chris, Piper called again.

And Chris put her on mute.

The red-haired sorceress appeared in the middle of the attic in a gust of wind. She glanced around her with a bemused smile before focusing on Piper. Her gaze travelled from Piper's grim expression to the several bottles of vanquishing potion lined up on the table next to the eldest Charmed One's hand.

Lola raised one eyebrow. "A summoning spell and vanquishing potions. You know, it's been a while since I faced an enemy I thought might actually have the power to vanquish me."

"I want to talk to Lucifer," Piper said.

Lola glanced down at the crystals that formed a circle around her, caging her. "And what do you expect me to do about that?" she asked in a bored tone. "I'm hardly his keeper."

"Don't think I won't vanquish you if you don't help me," Piper threatened.

Lola laughed. "Well, I have no doubt that you will certainly try," she said. "As for whether or not you will succeed… I don't think you should bet on that, Charmed One."

It had been nearly eight hours since Chris had orbed away, and Piper had yet to hear from him. She had tried calling for him, scrying for him, pleading for him… she'd even tried praying, though she wasn't sure why she believed that it would work. But he had refused to answer her calls and refused to be found, and she could not forget the look in his eyes or the pure fury in his voice when he had shouted at her to stop apologizing.

Even now, hours later, it left her breathless and scared.

How was she supposed to fix anything when the mere act of apologizing sent her son into a fit of rage?

"I want Lucifer to let Leo go," Piper said, forcing away thoughts of Chris and focusing on the matter at hand.

Lola laughed again. "And how exactly do you think you are going to persuade him to do that?" she asked with a smirk.

Lola's complete and utter disregard for the fact that she was the one trapped in a crystal cage and Piper was the one with the vanquishing potions was quickly grating on the Charmed One's nerves, but Piper forced herself to remain calm and said instead, "Don't think I won't find a way to kill him."

"You can't," Lola answered, once again sounding bored.

"After the things he did to my son…" Piper started, but Lola cut her off.

"Lucifer did nothing to Christopher that your son was not willing to undergo," she said, dismissing Piper's words with a careless wave of her hand. "Christopher knew the price of Lucifer's information, and he was willing to pay it. So before you start another tirade about how the devil stole your son's soul, I should tell you… this repetition is getting old."

"That is my son's life you are talking about!" Piper snarled.

"Technically, it was his soul. But, really… it isn't relevant. I am telling you, Charmed One, Lucifer is beyond your reach. So I suggest you let this go and focus your energy on the family members you have left."

"Stop telling me to let things go," Piper snarled. "Stop telling me to just give up! First with Chris, now Leo… I can't. I won't."

"You don't have a choice," Lola stated bluntly. "The Elder is gone. Deal with it."

"No!" Piper spat, and seized a potion vial from the table. She hurled it at the crystal cage and the electricity that burst from the crystals on contact with the potion coalesced over Lola's body. She started to cry out in pain, but the cry turned into a strangled scream that cut off quickly, and she fell to her hands and knees. Her hair tumbled in front of her face, obscuring her features from view.

After a few moments, Lola lifted her head and flicked away her hair with one hand. She climbed – slowly and in obvious pain – back to her feet.

Piper stepped closer to the crystal cage. "I want to talk to Lucifer."

"Perhaps," Lola sneered, all playful amusement gone from her voice, "you should try summoning him. Oh… wait. That's right; you can't."

"Make him come," Piper ordered, lifting her hand to reveal another potion clenched in her fist.

"If he wants to come, he will come," Lola said softly, her voice still filled with venom. "But since he hasn't shown up yet, I hardly think he is going to be gracing you with his presence any time soon. Accept it, Charmed One. You lost."

Lola's words sent rage and fear coursing through Piper's body, and it was all she could do to stop from vanquishing the sorceress right then and there. She couldn't stand the possibility that Leo was lost forever – not now, not so soon after facing the very real possibility that she would never be able to make things up with Chris.

She hated this. This feeling of helplessness. Of not being strong enough. She was Chris' mother, and she had failed him.

Now she was failing Leo.

"I'll make a deal with Lucifer," Piper said, the words rushing from her mouth before she could think through the implications. But she was desperate, and this gamble – risky though it was – might be her only hope.

Chris had said once that they could never beat Lucifer, they could only determine what they were willing to sacrifice and make sure he didn't take anything else from them.

She wasn't willing to sacrifice Leo.

But Lola merely said, "Lucifer won't trade for the Elder's soul."

Piper threw the second potion.

Again, Lola fell to her knees, but managed to keep from crumpling to the floor completely. Her gaze stayed fixed on Piper even as her eyes filled with pain and her body began to shake from the effort of staying semi-upright.

She did not cry out.

When the electricity stopped, she gasped for breath, her chest heaving. But that damned smile was back on her lips, and that mocking amusement replaced the pain in her eyes.

"Why do you give your loyalty to Lucifer when he is willing to leave you here to die?" Piper demanded.

Lola rose to her feet and stared at Piper without showing any emotion. "Because he is the creator of all evil, Charmed One," she said simply. "That makes him my creator." She folded her arms over her chest. "Why do you continue to rail against the inevitable when you know it is little more than a waste of time and effort?"

"Protecting my family is never a waste of time or effort," Piper seethed.

"But you aren't protecting them," Lola countered. "You are doing nothing for them at all. Although…" she smiled, "it is rather amusing."

Piper whirled around and snatched another potion from the table. "I'll show you amusing,' she growled.

"You know," Lola said, staring at the potion in Piper's hand, "it really is a pity that your middle sister is the only one with the power of empathy."

Piper stopped, eyebrow raised.

"She can feel the pain and the desperation," Lola continued. "And she can feel the anguish. She can feel the reckless disregard for everything else… Her empathy gives you the ability to see what is happening when no one else has picked up on the clues… she sees that your family is falling apart." She moved her gaze from the potion in Piper's hand to Piper's face. "And you can't see it at all."

"What do you mean?" Piper asked, curious for the answer even though she knew not to believe a word the sorceress said. Lola was mocking her, taunting her… and enjoying it. Nothing she said, nothing she did, should be trusted.

"All these sacrifices," Lola said. "You'd give up your life without hesitation if it would bring the Elder back. Never mind what anyone else wanted." She tilted her head to the side, a thoughtful expression filling her features. "But that is how things go in your family, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Piper demanded in frustration.

"Prudence Halliwell for Phoebe Halliwell," Lola said. "Christopher for his brother. Leo for his son. All your family does is sacrifice for one another."

"That's not a bad thing," Piper said defensively. "It just shows how much we love each other. Which is a concept I am sure you couldn't possibly understand."

"Oh, I know what love is," Lola said. "I know that it brings pain. And I know that sometimes you have to prove your love by letting another person go." She shook her head. "But Halliwells don't appear to be particularly good at that."

Before Piper could respond – and, really, she had no idea what she would say – the air in the attic suddenly rippled and five demons shimmered into the room. They wore dark cloaks over their humanoid forms, but they were still clearly lower-level demons. Their skin was red and their eyes were yellow and forked tongues flicked from between black lips.

They formed a circle around Piper, their eyes fixed menacingly on the eldest Charmed One.

Lola watched the entire scene with an amused expression.

Piper spun around and flung the vanquishing potion at Lola, but one of the demons send a fireball flying towards the vial, and incinerated it before it could reach its intended target. This seemed to be a signal for the other demons to attack, and suddenly Piper found herself being rushed at from all sides.

She flicked her wrist at the nearest demon and he screamed and exploded. She grabbed two vanquishing potions from the table and flung them towards the two demons behind her, and they both burst into flames. The fourth demon, however, was able to reach her easily and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her off the ground. She gasped for breath, trying desperately to scream for help, but her voice was choked off by the vice-like grip of the demon's hand.

The demon leaned in, his lips curling into a smile. Yellow eyes pierced straight through hers as the demon growled, "Lucifer sends his regards."

Then he dropped her and shimmered from the attic.

Piper straightened up and looked around. The fifth demon was gone as well, and one of the crystals had been placed innocuously on top of the Book. It's removal had disrupted the cage.

Lola was gone.

Chris sighed and closed his eyes. He had no doubt that the sisters were still looking for him, even though it had been hours. They were probably scrying for him, maybe even using spells to summon him, or to send themselves to him. Not that any of that would work. He'd long since learned how to block himself from being found through any conventional magical means – a necessity for surviving in Wyatt's world.

Lola had been right. It was hard to focus, hard to get his thoughts to order themselves into neat and logical patterns. His emotions kept running away from him, playing havoc on his mind. He needed to get them under control, needed to push past the rawness of what he was feeling and think.

He leaned against the wall and sank into a sitting position. The backroom at P3 wasn't the safest place to hide right now, but after leaving the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, he'd gone to the Underworld and to the arboretum that had been his and Bianca's spot, and he hadn't been able to think clearly in either of those places.

He didn't have anywhere left to go.

Leo had traded his soul to the devil in exchange for Chris' freedom. It was the only explanation that made sense – except that it didn't. Why would Leo do something like that?

And, more importantly, why would Lucifer let him?

But the answers to either of those questions were not obvious, at least not to Chris.

Lucifer hadn't answered his call. Neither had Lola. Not that their absences had surprised him. But he'd searched for Lola in all the places that he knew, and it hadn't helped. He couldn't find her anywhere, and without her, there was no way to find Lucifer.

No way to get answers.

He didn't want to admit defeat. He didn't want to go back to the Manor and talk to the sisters. He didn't want to plan with them or strategize with them or… or even see them.

He didn't want to listen to anything they had to say.

But what other choice did he have?

Piper had said she was sorry.

God, he hated that word.

He felt her presence before he heard the footsteps on the floor outside the room, and debated orbing away. But he couldn't run forever, and he supposed that he might as well suck it up and face her now. After all, he'd been hiding for hours. Nearly the full day. It was time to get back on track.

So when Phoebe opened the door to the backroom at P3 and stepped inside, Chris was standing, ready for her.

Except that he wasn't ready for her. He wasn't ready for the way her face lit up in excitement and relief at seeing him. He wasn't ready for the way she moved towards him, without hesitation, her arms extended to hug him. He wasn't ready for the embrace that made him stiffen, and he wasn't ready for the desperate desire to orb away that he was only just barely able to contain.

"Chris, oh thank God, you have no idea how worried we were, sweetie…" She trailed off, apparently realizing that he wasn't returning the hug, that he was merely standing there, ramrod straight, waiting for her to finish and move away from him.

She stepped back, still holding his arms in her grasp.

He cleared his throat. "Hi, Phoebe."

She smiled tentatively. "I was worried you might have tried to made a deal with Lucifer again," she said softly.

Chris took a breath. He could do this. He could talk about this – about his mission, about Lucifer, about his plans – as though it was nothing more than business as usual. As though nothing had changed.

"If Lucifer was willing to take my soul in exchange for Leo's now," he said, "he wouldn't have made the trade with Leo in the first place. Anyway, I can't find him or Lola."

"Piper summoned Lola a little while ago," Phoebe said, dropping her arms and releasing him. She frowned at him, then reached up and touched her forehead with one hand. He'd seen her do this before in the past – and future – and knew what it meant.

He was giving her a headache.

She was picking up on his emotions.

He swore inwardly – and then heard his mother's voice in his head chiding him for the use of such language.

Damn it, why did this have to happen? Why did his mother have to haunt him even now?

Didn't she know that he was doing his best?

Phoebe was gazing at him, but try as he might, he couldn't raise his mental barriers, couldn't protect himself from her powers. And the potion he had taken clearly wasn't strong enough to hide the emotions filling him.

He looked away from her and tried to focus. "What did Lola say?" he asked.

Phoebe leaned against the sofa. He could see her out of the corner of his eye, could see the way she seemed to sag, hunched over with the weight of his feelings. The lines in her face deepened, wrinkles crinkling at the corners of her eyes.

He didn't like being an open book to her.

Never show a weakness in front of the enemy.

Of course, she wasn't the enemy. He might not think of her as family, but she wasn't the enemy, either. She was his charge and he was her white-lighter, and they needed to focus.

"Nothing," Phoebe replied after a moment. "She was less than forthcoming. Piper's not giving up, though."

Chris bit back a dark laugh. Of course Piper wasn't giving up. She was far too stubborn – and far to foolish – to do that. But when would she listen to him? When would she understand that this wasn't another vanquish, Lucifer wasn't another demon. It wasn't going to be easy… if it was even possible.

Leo might very well be lost.

"You think we can't save him?" Phoebe asked sharply.

Chris flinched, both at the hardness in her tone and at the reminder that she could clearly tell what he was thinking. He would need to be more careful around her.

Or, better yet, just avoid her entirely.

"I think," he said cautiously, turning to face her, "that you have yet to realize the full scope of Lucifer's power. You're all still acting like he is just another demon. You don't understand…"

"We're not just going to give up," Phoebe cut in heatedly. "Leo is our brother-in-law."

Chris shook his head. It seemed as though every time Leo was in danger they all conveniently forgot that he wasn't Piper's husband anymore.

There was also an accusation implied in Phoebe's words, even if she was careful not to say it explicitly. The three sisters were still fighting for a way to save Leo, to bring him back. To defeat Lucifer. And what was Chris doing?

Hiding.

"I'm not saying that you should give up," Chris defended himself irritably.

"Then what are you saying?"

He didn't have an answer for that; he honestly didn't know what he was trying to say.

"It will destroy Piper," Phoebe said softly. "If we can't save Leo… if she loses him… again…"

Again. Just like she'd lost him once before, when Chris had pushed him into a path that led towards becoming an Elder. He doubted Phoebe had meant it to sound quite like the accusation that it was – or perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps she had meant it. Perhaps she still blamed him for Leo's leaving.

He turned his back on Phoebe. He didn't want to have this conversation with her.

Well, permanently separating his parents was never really what Chris had intended, and before the deal with Lucifer, there had always been that thought floating in the back of his mind – he would need to get Leo and Piper back together.

It didn't seem like that would be an option now. In a desperate bid to save Chris, Leo had done the one thing that was absolutely guaranteed to destroy him.

He'd taken away his chance of being born.

But maybe Leo had done him a favor. Maybe nonexistence would be better than wherever Chris' soul had been before.

"Lucifer kept my body," he said finally.

"So?"

He kept his back to Phoebe, willing his voice to remain steady and his emotions to remain calm as he elaborated, "He kept my body. He preserved it. He would only have gone to that sort of trouble if he believed that one of you would make a deal with him to let me go. Don't you see, Phoebe? He expected that this could be a possible outcome. He planned for it. He's been several steps ahead of you – ahead of us – this entire time."

"What's your point?" Phoebe pressed.

"My point," Chris said, an edge creeping into his voice, "is that even now you are still underestimating him. And he's playing us."

"We want Leo back," Phoebe said firmly, refusing to yield on that particular issue. "Piper needs him."

Chris sighed. "And what Piper wants is all that matters," he murmured quietly, not entirely sure if Phoebe could hear him. It didn't really matter, anyway. She could argue with him all she wanted, but it still boiled down to the same truth; in the end, Piper would do whatever she wanted without any regard for the desires of anyone else. She'd want to help them, save them… And she'd be so convinced that she was doing the right thing. Never mind what anyone else wanted. Never mind the fact that Leo undoubtedly didn't want her to destroy herself in order to save him.

They were all like that.

The irony of it, of course, was that Chris was like that, too. Hadn't he been willing to sacrifice his very soul for Wyatt? And what would Wyatt – good or evil – think of that?

Chris sighed. "This wasn't what I wanted," he said aloud.

Phoebe didn't answer.