Hi guys! Thank you again for your support! Here's the next chapter...It's an important one, so I hope you'll like it :)

I'm sorry for typos, as you know English is not my language and this one was a little harder to write for me.

As always, reviews or messages are very much appreciated :)

April hugged her grandmother one last time, her eyes full of tears and that characteristic sensation in her chest, the one she always felt every time she had to leave her grandparents farm: sadness but gratitude, melancholy but peacefulness.

"Thank you Gram, I love you", she said, kissing her cheek and brushing away the tears from her eyes.

"I love you too baby. Stop now, come on! Give me one of your smiles"

April obeyed, a big smile on her face turning into a laugh when she saw Grandma Kate sticking out her tongue, like she always did when April was a child and she wanted to make her stop crying.

"It still works".

"Yeah, it does" April said, putting her bag in the passenger seat, smiling at her grandma once again.

"So…guess I really have to go now, I'll call you when I'm back home, ok? Two hours and I should be there".

"All right darling, drive safe…and remember what I told you, go and be brave, it's always worthy".

April smiled, knowing exactly what she meant "I'll try".

"I want you here with Jackson the next time you come visit me"

April shook her head amused "I'll do what I can".

"And don't wait too long…I'll give you two my bedroom, big bed and all".

"Gram!" April shouted, surprised.

"What? I won't tell your dad, I promise. I remember that little guy, he was so handsome, I bet he's even better now... as soon as you finally leave your fears behind and tell him you love him you won't be able to take your hands off of him. I'm old but I remember that feeling, baby! If you only knew the things I did with your grandpa…"

"Hush, no, please… I don't need to know that" April said, getting in the car "but thank you. You always clear my mind, you are the best!" she said, sending her one last kiss with her hand.

"I do what I can" grandmother Kate said, smiling and waving before going back inside the house.

April had arrived there the day before, sad and confused, hoping one day immersed in nature, in the place where she used to spend all her summers when she was a little girl, could help her think and decide what to do. She had no intention of speaking about her love life with her grandmother, but, as always, she immediately understood what was going on.

"How do you feel when you are with Matthew'" Grandmother Kate asked her, out of the blue, when they sat in the porch, drinking tea and looking at old photographs.

"Hum"April started, a little surprised by the question "… I feel…protected, I think he loves me and it's nice to know that he loves me, that he won't hurt me."

"And that other guy, how do you feel when you are with him?" Kate asked immediately after, smiling.

April immediately blushed "What? What other guy?"

"Ohh baby, the one who make you run hiding here… "She smirked.

"Mom told you about Jackson, didn't she?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

Kate smiled "Well, she told me a while ago that you were talking with that old friend of yours again and you seemed really happy… I did the math".

"It's not what you think though…I'm not…we're not… it's, well, it's complicated".

"Well, we have all the time of the world, baby…"

Open her heart to her grandmother and tell her the things she was burying inside for months out loud, for the first time, helped her a lot. Deeply inside, she perfectly knew what was going on. She wasn't in love with Matthew, she knew it, she knew she wasn't been fair to him and needed to talk to him. And then she knew she was developing feelings for Jackson, something she never felt before, not even for Bright. And she was incredibly scared, because in a few months Jackson has come back to be one of the most important people in her life. She couldn't risk losing him, and yet, what they did the night before already changed everything between them and she had to face it, sooner or later.

"So, you drank a little too much and you told him you are attracted to him…and then pretended you didn't remember anything this morning and avoided both him and Matthew, is that all the truth?"

"Hum.." April blushed, she obviously wasn't going to tell her grandmother the entire story "yes…more or less…"

"Well… you were scared and confused…they're both going to forgive you sweetie. I understand you, it happens when you had bad experiences in the past…. Now you listen to me: tomorrow you go home, you break up with Matthew, he deserves to be with someone who loves him, who reciprocates him… and then you take the first flight to Boston and go tell that boy you love him. Enough with fears, you are young and beautiful, go and love, baby. Go and live."

The sound of a car horn woke her up from her thoughts. She realized two hours had passed already and she was at the traffic light of Moline. She quickly turned right, now convinced all she needed to do was taking a shower and talk to Matthew, as soon as possible. She parked the car in front of the building and run to the entrance, trying not to get too wet under the heavy rain of the night. She opened her door and trashed her coat on the couch without even turning on the lights. That's when she heard a noise, then another and suddenly the lights turned on and twenty people, maybe more, greeted her with a "SURPRISE", trumpets, confetti and all. April jumped on her feet, making everyone laugh. Then she saw Matthew approaching her with a bottle of sparkling wine in his hands "didn't I tell you this place needed an inauguration party? " he said, laughing, kissing her on the lips.

"I…uhh…yeah…Hi everyone! You scared me to death"she said, faking a smile and an enthusiasm she didn't feel at all. "You…when did you do that? "She asked him, confused "double key, remember? Mer and Alex helped me…" he said, while April smiled at them, noticing everyone was already eating, drinking…someone had turned on the stereo and the music was already too loud. "Thank you!" she said, not really convinced "It's just…the neighbors…I don't want to have problems you know". Matthew laughed "Come on! It's just for tonight…relax and enjoy the party!" he took her hand, leading her to the closed door in front of them. "Plus", he said, "we're not done with surprises…look who I met today at the diner…perfect timing, I'd say" he opened the door and a smiling Jackson enters the living room "Finally…I thought I had to stay closed in the bathroom forever". April's face turned immediately bright red. She wasn't expecting him there, she wasn't expecting to meet him for the first time with Matthew being there and all those other people she really didn't care that much about. Even more now, after what happened between them. She wasn't prepared, she wasn't ready.

"Wow, she's speechless" Matthew said, laughing.

"Hey! April! You can talk, you know?" Jackson said smiling, doing the first step and hugging her. She immediately reciprocates the hug, feeling his strong arms, the heat of his body and his smell, for the first time in years. "I can't believe you are here!" she whispered then, and she felt him smile against her hair. The hug was awkward and yet it felt so good, right and wrong at the same time that April had to take a step back quickly. "Can you believe it?" Matthew said, putting one arm around her shoulders and bringing her body closer to his, the same possessive involuntary gesture he did every time he was there when she spoke to Jackson. "He had some business meeting not too far from here and decided to come visit us...today, just in time for the party". Jackson took himself a drink from the table and smiled "lucky circumstances", he said and April smiled, trying to distance herself from Matthew's grip "I'm happy you are here Jackman!" She looked him in the eyes for the first time and she suddenly felt vulnerable, his gaze was deep yet impenetrable. He was smiling and looked at ease but she could tell he was tense. She was about to start a very stupid conversation about work, just to kill the embarrassment, when David and some other old friends from school interrupted them. Everyone seemed truly happy to have Jackson back in town and April was reviled they all keep him busy for most of the night. She tried her best to enjoy the party and be kind to everyone. She was actually dancing and laughing with the girls when David took her hands and lead her to the coach, Meredith, Cristina and other people were sitting on the floor in circle "spin the bottle Apes! You are the celebrated one, you go first" David said, laughing and making her seat next to Matthew.
"What? Spin the bottle? Come on! Are we 13 again?"
"Don't ruin the fun Apes!" Meredith said, clearly drunk already.
April rolled her eyes and took the bottle, knowing she really had no choice.
"Hey! Spin the bottle? Really? Are you 13 again?" Jackson approached them from behind making everyone laugh.
"April just said the exact same thing" Matthew laughed
"And I said don't ruin the fun, so Jackson...take a sit and play!" Meredith said, moving just enough to let him sit next to her.
"Yeah, why not?" Jackson smirked, looking intensely at April, almost like he was challenging her. April closed her eyes for a moment and prayed all her saints that the bottle would indicate everyone but him. The familiar choir of "ohhhohhhh" accompanied the bottle spinning on the ground and ended with laughs and whistles when the bottle stopped right in front of Jackson.

Of course she thought while Cristina shouted amused "Ha! Perfect timing Jackson". April was sure she heard Matthew murmur "yeah..Once again". The embarrassment was evident on her face, she looked at Jackson and fake a laugh "kiss on the cheek right?"
"Are you kidding Apes? Don't act like a 13 years old for real now...tongue kisses, we said it before" Alex smirked. He had always loved to embarrass her.
"What? No, I haven't heard that..I..." she turned to look at Matthew when Jackson suddenly took her face in between his hands and kissed her full on the lips, earning claps and whistles from their friends. He kissed her gently, touching her lips softly with his while slightly brushing her cheeks with his inches. The kiss lasted less than three seconds but was enough for April to feel weakness at her knees. Flashes of their drunken night running through her head. Her face turned incredibly red and as soon as she pulled away and meet his gaze she knew he knew. He knew she lied, he knew she remembered everything.
"Cough ehm cough" Alex said, laughing "there's tension in the air" he said looking at Matthew who certainly didn't seem too amused. He shrugged laughing "don't be stupid, it's a game" he said, taking April's hand "go on Jackson...your turn". April smiled at him, but she was not sure she'd hidden her guilt completely. She stayed there for some time again, watched both Jackson and Matthew kissing other people, she had to kiss Lesley and Robert and when her phone rang she was so reviled to be finally able to excuse herself and leave the others to their stupid game. She took her phone and went on the small terrace outside her bedroom. It was cold and it was still raining, but she felt immediately relaxed. She called her mother back quickly and was just about to get back inside and invent an excuse to end that awkward night as soon as possible when the door opened and Jackson approached her, her coat in his hand. "Aren't you cold here?" April smiled, accepting the coat and putting it on, her arms tight around her waist "A little bit… I just…needed some quiet for a moment". Jackson leaned against the banister and nodded, in silence. April sighed. It was time, she had to say something "Why are you here, Jackson?" she asked, looking him straight in the eyes, shy but determined at the same time.

"You remember everything, right? What happened the other night…you remember…" he said, it wasn't a question. He knew.

April nodded silently. Her cheeks blushed, not only because of the cold air now.

"So you know the answer.." he simply said.

"Do you…do you want to talk about it?" she asked, hesitantly.

"I want to tell you I'm sorry" he said and April felt her stomach tangle. So he regrets it after all. He wanted to apologize and go on with his life. She should have known it.

"You don't have to Jackson…we were drunk and we can pretend it never hap.." she rushed to say but he interrupted her, "No! April, no. We can't. It happened and I know what you're thinking but no. I don't regret it…I just, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have taken advantage of you"

"What?" Her voice louder now.

"You were drunk and I should have stopped… I know you were confused and I know you are still with Matthew and you'd feel guilty… you lied to me yesterday, you avoided me and I felt like crap and so… I'm sorry" he said, sincerely.

"I was there too, you know? I participated, because I wanted to…"

"But you feel like what we did was wrong, don't you?"

April sighed "But that's not the problem… maybe it was, surely it was but that's not the problem. The problem is…" she sighed again "the problem is…" she looked at him intently then. His gaze was so intense she almost stopped to breath for a moment.

"…that it felt good" Jackson finished her sentence, never breaking eye contact with her.

"…that it felt good" she repeated. Leaning against the wall, watching his eyes going from her eyes to her lips, then to her eyes again. He gulped and slowly started to walk up to her. April's heart was beating so fast she had to close her eyes and breathe. She could feel his perfume and his breath. His lips only a few inches away from her forehead. He took her hand and slowly guided it to his chest, intertwining their fingers together. She felt his heart beat fast, as fast as hers and when she forced herself to open her eyes and look up at him she saw so much desire in his gaze and so much tenderness at the same time that suddenly all her fears and doubts disappeared.

"Something that feels this good…it can't be bad, right?" He whispered, his nose brushing against hers now. She closed her eyes and…

"I knew it!"

Matthew was looking at them. They pulled away immediately.

"I told myself I was just overreacting, but it was so clear April..So damn clear! You could at least end things with me before jumping in his arms though.." Matthew's voice sad and bitter.

"Hey man, it's not like this, she didn't.." Jackson tried to explain but Matthew punched him.

"Matt don't!" April cried, rushing to stop him. He looked at her one last time and then went back inside, slamming the door. She heard the music stop and someone calling him. Then the front door was slammed and she knew he was gone.

Jackson was still on the ground, his hand covering his eye, the cheekbone bleeding.

"Oh my God!" she said, approaching him "Are you ok?"

"Yeah…yeah, it's ok" he said, standing up.

"I… there's ice in the freezer…you can…I…I gotta go Jackson…I have to talk to him"

Jackson nodded "I know…go" he said, watching her running away.