I can't even begin to express how sorry I am that I haven't updated for months! Again, school has had me all tied up. I just finish finals today. I actually have been working on this chapter for over a month and I wasn't able to finish until now. I would strongly recommend that you guys read the last few chapters before reading this one, or else it won't be the same.
P.S. I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON THIS STORY!
Chapter Sixteen: If I Never Knew You
I watched my warm breath condense into dew on the window's cold surface. I drew my trembling hand across the water droplets, leaving behind the trace of my fingers, then I exhaled again.
My mother pulled up the car in front of our home. I wearily lifted my head from the pit of my elbow and laid back on my seat, staring blankly at my moist hands.
"Tomorrow, in the morning," mother took a short pause before continuing, "- we go back, to Southville."
I looked up at her. "Mom, we can't. We have made a home here. Adam and Norma are here. We can't go back."
"We have to," she said. "With your father gone, no one will support us. There are no jobs. No one here will want to marry you and we have no friends. I can work at my mother's store in Southville."
"But father is buried here," I insisted. "We can't leave him behind. We can find a way, I'm sure."
She shook her head and wiped her tears before I could see them fall.
"You don't understand," she continued. "I lost him, I couldn't bare losing any of you."
I gently placed my hand on hers. They were small and covered with a black silk glove. I nodded at her reassuringly and laid my head on her shoulders, were I sobbed my grief away.
Marilyn knew there was one more thing to do. Ropes bounded her to Thneedville. Ropes tied to her heart. Her feelings were unknown to her, but Marilyn knew that she would never be at peace knowing she never confronted him. With all her courage and strength she knocked on the door, the future remained unclear to her.
After no one answered, Marilyn decided to walk in. The door was unlocked and everything was dark. She took out the matches from her purse and lighted one.
She heard the echo of her steps and the wooden boards of the floor creaking under her. A chill went down her spine as she heard the mice and bugs crawling around her. She arrived at the mansion's beautiful staircase were she found a candle on one of the steps. She used her fading match to light it up and the candle provided a greater light. She gasped when she looked at her surroundings.
Everything was destroyed. The paintings on the wall were torn down. The furniture was smashed and glass was scattered all over where it scratched the floor. Marilyn arrived at the grand piano she played only weeks ago. The keys were ripped out and its beautiful frame shattered.
Marilyn pressed on the few keys that were still left on it, but it made no sound. She backed away slowly and accidentally knocked a nearby floor lamp. It made a loud clank that echoed around the hollow home and she sharply looked around.
"Marilyn?" she heard The Once-ler's voice from the darkness. It came from the top of the stair case.
She heard rushed unsteady footsteps going down the steps of the stairs toward her. The Once-ler's figure came into view. He was almost unrecognizable.
His body was thin and seemed to shrivel up. Dark bags hung under his eyes. The beginnings of a beard sprouted out of his chin and his hair was rustled and unkempt. His green suit was disheveled and the once vibrant green hues were now faded.
"You came back," his voice was low and desperate. His eyes suddenly became mellow. "I knew you would."
He stretched his arms and walked towards her to embrace her, breathe in her scent and feel her warmth, planning on never letting her go. When he came close, she took a step back and her gaze averted his. Her face looked dead and emotionless, like stone.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She turned her head down to avoid his eyes and took deep breaths.
"I can't," her voice was low, as if she were afraid to speak.
"Marilyn?" he said.
"I can't!" she shouted and finally looked up at him. "I will be going today, back to Southville."
He turned his face, to hide his tears.
"I'm sorry," she said. She stretched her arm toward him and he abruptly turned toward her, gripped her head and placed his lips on hers.
She felt his warm breath travel down her face. His lips were warm and soft and she was trapped in his hold. She couldn't break free, even if she wanted to. Her only reaction was to stay still, and try not to give in. He pulled away as abruptly as he came, and Marilyn fell on her knees to the floor.
"Someday," he said, "someone will look at you with light in their eyes. They'll look at you as if you were everything they've been searching for their entire lives. And they'll take from you what would've been mine."
"What choice do you think I have?" she sobbed. "I can't stay, you know I can't!"
"Why did you have to come here?" he asked. "As if I wouldn't be miserable enough."
He turned his head toward the ceiling and lifted his arms. "Is this what you wanted Lorax?!"
"Once-ler?" she dragged herself to him but he moved away.
"Damn you!" he shouted. "Why did I have to fall in love with you if you were going to leave me? Why does everyone that I love leave me? "
"How dare you blame me?!" she pounded her fist on the floor. "How about what you did to me? My family? This place? And yourself?
"I thought you changed! You said you weren't a monster and I believed you. But you are what everyone said you were!
"And you wonder why did you ever fell in love with me? I can't believe I let myself fall for a monster like you!"
She regretted those words as soon as she said them, but she stood firm on her ground, swallowed her regret, and turned around.
From the distance she heard The Once-ler's loud sobs. The sounds of his weeping made her heart break. Perhaps he wasn't the only monster in this dead valley, but the harm had been done. Fire against fire, and they both ended hurt.
The day was cold and bitter. The sky was desolate and grey. Melancholy hung on the thick, contaminated air.
The sound of the train's engine came near. Marilyn looked down on her hands, thankful that her wide brim hat covered her puffy red eyes. She tried to control her unsteady breathing and tried her best to not release the tears that hung on the tip of her eyelashes. Norma took her hand in hers.
"The sun will come out tomorrow," was all she said.
"But tomorrow it will come out in Southville, not here. Never here."
Norma hugged Marilyn, sharing her warmth and love. The two have grown close to each other. Norma was the sister Marilyn never had.
"I will miss you," Norma said, muffled by Marilyn's shoulder.
"I will miss you more," Marilyn answered, releasing herself from the embrace carefully. "I wish you and Adam the best."
"I wish you could've stayed for our wedding," Norma said.
"I wish I could stay," Marilyn responded bitterly.
"I want to tell you something," Norma said, seeking eye contact with Marilyn.
"What is it?"
"Listen to you heart," Norma said, "Nothing that you do is right unless it came from you heart."
"Never mind my heart," she said, "It's over now."
"Right over that godforsaken wall," she said, pointing her finger at the newly constructed iron wall that isolated the city, "Where the grickle-grass never grows, and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows, a man needs you. Lord knows he needs you more than your own family."
"He hates me," Marilyn wiped her tears.
"There's only one way to find out," was all Norma said.
"Eleven o'clock, Southville! Come aboard!" shouted the train conductor.
Norma pressed on Marilyn's hand and let her go.
Her mother and two brothers boarded the train first, giving the conductor their tickets.
"Your ticket ma'am?" he said to Marilyn, who kept her eyes on the iron wall.
Marilyn looked pleadingly at her mother, wishing that she understood that her other half was on the other side of that wall. That if she left, she might die anyway. That she couldn't live without him. That she must stay.
And her mother did. She nodded at Marilyn, and tears fell from her eyes full of pride.
Marilyn ran to her mother and brothers.
She hugged her mother first and said, "Be strong for us, please."
Then her brothers, "Be good boys, don't forget that I love you so very much."
Marilyn stepped out of the train and waved them goodbye.
Hanging? Too easy.
A shot in the head? Too quick.
Starvation? Too slow.
Poison? Not painful enough.
The Once-ler smashed the walls and furniture of what used to look like a palace. Part of it was because he had to to carry out his plan, and the other part was because he knew he destroyed everything he touched.
He gathered as much wood as he could and dragged it around his bed. He was exhausted, but he needed as much as he could get. He also gathered his business papers, the hundreds of newspaper editions he was on, all the Thneed ads he kept as souvenirs, the last Thneeds produced by his factory, and his money.
He made sure he put on his complete green suit. The top hat, the green gloves, his gold pocket watch, and his first Thneed. He walked towards his bed like a brave criminal approaching his execution. But as he sat on his deathbed, his pride disassembled and he wept with grief.
"I'm sorry Marilyn," he said, "but I can't live without you."
He lighted a match and threw it into the mass around him.
Marilyn ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Prevailing against all oppositions that were on her way, she arrived at the mansion's doorstep. She stopped.
She wasn't sure of herself at that moment. What if her really did hate her? What if he didn't want to see her again? She knew she would die if he rejected her. But she also knew she would die without him.
She opened the door and was greeted by a strong smell. Smoke?!
"Once-ler!" she yelled. "Once-ler!"
She searched frantically. "Where are you?! Please, answer me! Once-ler!"
She arrived at his office and the smell became stronger. In the dark, she tried to feel the secret door that led to his room. When she found it, it was warm.
She opened the door and found a mass of fire only several feet away from her.
"Oh no!" she cried. "What have you done Once-ler?!"
She dropped on her knees weeping. "No!" she cried to herself, rocking back and forth, pulling her hair. "No!"
She began to cough uncontrollably. If the fire didn't kill her, the smoke would. But she didn't care. All she wanted to do is to end this nightmare.
Her coughs awakened the half unconscious Once-ler. The fire had not killed him yet. But why?
"Marilyn?" he called out. He looked around, searching for the source of the coughs, thinking it was too real to be his imagination. And there she was, dropped on the floor, becoming smaller and smaller with each cough. He hated himself more than ever. He set out to kill himself but now he was killing the woman he loved!
No! She would not die. Even if he died (and he wanted to), Marilyn will live! He looked around, a way to escape the fire around him He tried a small dent in the fire, but his sleeve caught on fire. He tried to put it out with his Thneed and the fire diminished immediately under its touch. The Thneeds! That's why he didn't caught on fire!
He remembered now. He remembered The Lorax telling him that the tufts of the Truffulas nonflammable. One of the reasons he used the material to sell his Thneeds.
He gathered all the Thneeds around him. They were all still intact. Throwing them over the fire, he was able to create a small path. He crawled out of the fire, the heat making his head spin. He almost fainted but was able to regain his strength. Rushing toward the dying Marilyn, he lifted her in his arms and hasted out of the mansion. Exiting through the stairs at his office, he placed her at a safe distance from the now burning mansion.
The poor creature was draped in sweat, ash cover her face. The Once-ler wiped her gently with his Thneed. She was dead, no doubt. He no longer felt her beating heart. The color that once sprouted from her lips and cheeks was now gone. The last flower of the Truffula Valley, gone. All because of him.
"Marilyn…" he wept. He held her close to him, cradling her small body in his arms as if she would fall apart. He sobbed against her neck, the scent of smoke instead of vanilla gashed at his heart. How could I do this to her!
"Marilyn," he sobbed. "Forgive me! Please! Forgive me!"
Suddenly, when he heard a soft gasp, the world stopped. A trembling touched his shoulder, his heart jumped when he felt a small pulse at Marilyn's neck.
"Marilyn!" He hugged her tighter but realized she needed to breath. When she opened her eyes and realized what was going in on, she cried.
"You're alive!" she said. She let out a string of coughs and The Once-ler frowned but smiled again went she threw herself over him, kissing him unceasingly. "I love you Once-ler! I can't imagine what'll do without you!"
"You came back Marilyn," he said, rejoicing. "No one has ever done that for me before."
"I'll never leave you Once-ler," she said, cupping his face. "Never," she kissed him again.
"If I Never Knew You
If i never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be…
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd hve lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you"
"If I never knew you" Pocahontas (1995)