A/N : Thank you for all reviews, here and on tumblr.

"I've never been intimate with a woman."

"We don't have to do this. It's okay."

"No, it's not."

Joan noticed Vera standing up and picking her clothes from the floor. The woman was dressing up. She wasn't able to button up the shirt with her trembling hands. She looked like a little child who broke the vase in the living room, waiting for being scolded. She had unshed tears in her eyes. Joan put her arms across her chest to cover herself. She didn't move, only observed what was occurring in front of her. She didn't have a clue what went wrong. She was staring. Vera quickly finished and left without even saying goodbye.

Joan made sure Vera was away. She made her way towards the door and locked it. Then, she started punching the wall with her fist until it hurt her. She noticed the aquarium with a goldfish inside. She took it in both of her hands and forcefully threw it against the floor. When she was looking for another thing to break, she noticed two wine glasses, the ones that she and Vera used. She smashed them one after another. She ran out of glass dishes. She opened the top drawer with cutlery in it and threw its content all over the floor. The next thing she could remember was someone calling her name. "Joan. Joan..."

She leaned onto the air, as if someone was holding her. She fell on the floor, injuring her bare knees with broken glass. She mumbled something and started crying. She deeply inhaled and repeated a few times "I'm a freak, I'm a freak, I'm a freak...". She ran out of tears. "I am, dad." She whispered like she was talking to somebody. She tried to control her breath. She looked at the goldfish, slowly dying from the lack of air.

The next morning, Vera woke up with a massive headache. Her body wasn't handling the alcohol well. Her mind was blank but as soon as she took the aspirin, the flashes of memories attacked her mind. She sighed heavily. What has she done? How could she talk to her boss like that? How could she touch her? How could she kiss her? How could she... What was she thinking? She silently promised herself she would never drink again. But she was saying the same after the going out with Linda. And after drinking with Governor a few months ago. She felt like the history was repeating itself. Wasn't it like that with Fletch? The only difference was the setting and the fact that he was the one who left.

Why did she leave? She couldn't find the answer. She wasn't thinking clearly starting all this. The leaving was also unplanned.

She took a cold shower and started dressing up to work. She glanced over at the pile of clothes from the last night. She realized she forgot to take her bra from Joan's. She didn't even thing about going back to Ferguson's house to pick it up. Wouldn't last night's encounter with the Governor complicate things at work? Would she be able to look into those eyes ever again? Would she be able to be with that woman in the same room without making things awkward? Those questions were bugging her during her way to prison. She approached the prison gate, hoping she wouldn't see the Governor for another couple of hours.

Vera's life has never been how she wanted it to be. With a corner of her eye, she noticed the tall woman. Instead of running inside, she waited for her. Vera, being Vera, got nervous and started rambling, when the Governor was an earshot away. "Um, last night, is it..."

"Is it what, Vera?" Joan looked somewhat different. It was in her facial expression. She didn't wasn't her intimidating self. She didn't even look angry. Her eyes weren't full with lust. They seemed very small. Did the Governor feel hurt?

"Is it going to affect my career?" She didn't want to talk to the Governor but she had to know. She needed to make sure if the other woman had a problem with their situation. If so, she could say goodbye to her position of deputy governor.

Joan looked at her with her piercing eyes. Her words felt like daggers. Why did Vera become co professional? Was she playing her all along? What was her goal? What did she want to achieve? She put on the neutral mask on her face, took a few breaths and said "Last night never happened. After you." She pointed at the opened gate. She watched as Vera entered the prison area and walked behind her, processing what she's just experienced.

She entered her office and pulled the blinds down, closing herself off from the outside world. She put her black jacket inside the locker, or rather a small wardrobe. She exchanged it for a Governor's blazer and put on a tie. She sat behind her desk and logged onto the prison server. She went through some reports. The morning was rather quiet. No one hasn't done anything wrong yet. Watching the CCTV bored the Governor. She started playing with her pencils.

She tried to keep her emotions to herself but as soon as Vera's posture appeared on the screen of her computer, she couldn't focus on anything else. She was replaying the events of the previous night in her head, trying to find out what went wrong. Was it because Joan was woman? Why would Vera make out with her if she felt distaste? Was she trying to hurt Governor's feelings? What did actually happen? Maybe she should blame in on the alcohol.

She put her pencils in place, almost as if she used a ruler. Then, someone barged in into her office. She was turned towards the screen of her computer, doing her best to avoid her intruder's gaze. "I'm occupied at the moment." She tried to dismiss the other person. She heard a slam of her door and clicking of heels getting closer and closer. "Vera, I told you I'm..." She didn't get to finish the sentence because she got interrupted.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." The younger woman confessed. She attempted to remain calm but her effort didn't last long. Her glance fell to the floor.

"Do you think about it as a mistake?"

"Yes." Her voice cracked. Joan's face hardened. She felt an ache inside her.

"Get out of my office." She said louder than intended. Maybe even too loud.

Vera jumped, slightly startled. She was striving to keep the tears from falling but failed. She sobbed and turned on her heel. Right when she took a hold of the handle, she looked at the other woman. "Just to be clear, it's not snogging you that I regret." She opened the door and was about to cross it, but Joan was faster. She stood up, made her way to the door, pushed closing it and looked deeply into Vera's eyes.

"What it is that you regret?" Her voice was a whisper.

"Leaving you like this."

When she spoke those words, something broke inside Joan. She gulped and blinked a few times, hoping to wash out the tears, but they came ultimately.

A/N : How about this one?

I'd really appreciate it if someone wanted to spend their precious time on being my Beta. ( *Godfather mode* Whoever you are, I could send you Polish sweets for your work )