Told you I wasn't stopping the story. Don't really know where I've been, and I don't really know where I'm going after this. I started this my freshman year in high school, and I'm now a senior. I was really young and stupid and I really don't have a super definite plan for this story- I never did. So, we'll see what happens, shall we? It's good to be back. Enjoy!

Note: Okay also I really want to write transman!dean stuff (whoops also on my nearly one year break I've come out as a trans guy and go by Logan and use he/him/his pronouns) so it would be super awesome if you wanted to give me ideas/prompts/literally anything for me to write on and consider it me writing something for you.

"Dean," I begged softly as I held his face as he sobbed, "Dean, look at me. You are not a soldier. You aren't some blunt instrument or some soldier or some failure, okay?"

His grip tightened as he buried his face against my neck to muffle his sobs. I rubbed his back as I pressed my lips to his ear and whispered, "That's not what you are. You're a hero, Dean. You're a hero and you're a lover and you're a genius..."

I took one of his hands and smoothed it over my belly, "You're a father, Dean... But you're not a failure."

He lifted his head to look down at my hand covering his and shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I-I can't," he whispered, "I can't be a father."

"Dean–"

"I can't raise them to be like me. Not like I was raised. I can't, Ashley."

I stroked my thumbs over his wet cheeks as his lip trembled. His eyes met mine and I watched the waves of sadness crash in them. I leaned forward slowly, pressing my lips against his forehead. He immediately let out a choked noise and I trailed my lips down to press against his. I felt his body tense, then relax as he slowly leaned into the kiss and slid his hands down to rest over my hips.

He pressed his forehead against mine as he broke away, his breathing slightly ragged as his eyes met mine. I felt his hot breath drift across my lips as his hands slowly trailed down my body. His fingers curled around my waistband, tugging as he used his other hand to press me up against him. His eyes met mine again as he turned over so he was hoovering over me on the bed.

I reached up and brushed my hand over the rough stubble on his jaw as his dark green eyes gazed into mine. His hand skimmed down my thigh, lifting my leg to hook around his waist. He leaned down to press his lips to mine as he rolled his hips slowly.

I felt him move his mouth over my neck, dragging his warm lips down my skin as he groaned softly. I immediately slid my hands down to his abdomen and held them there with as little pressure as I could.

"Dean, you're hurting."

"'M fine," he gruffed as his hand curled into my hip and he pressed his body on top of mine. I cradled his jaw and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck as he kissed me passionately, moaning softly as his lips moved with mine.

He pressed his forehead against mine, and I heard his ragged breathing as he pressed against me firmly. Leaning up to press my lips against the sensitive spot under his ear, I heard his soft moan as I unbuttoned his jeans and wrapped my hand around the hardening bulge.

I felt his hand drift down to my inner thigh and I reached down to grab it. He looked at me confusedly as I slowly flipped over so I was straddling his hips. I pinned his hands next to his head as I leaned forward to kiss him lightly, "Right now, it's about you, big guy."

He watched me with half confused, and half lustful eyes as I leaned back and sat between his legs with my legs draped over his thighs. I reached down again and rubbed him through his underwear as he closed his eyes and moaned.

Slowly, I worked him up until he was a whimpering, moaning mess. "A-A-Ah," he gasped as he arched his back, "Angel, shit, just like that, baby."

I leaned over him, pressing hot, wet kisses against his neck as I continued to stroke him. I felt him buck his hips as he whined into my ear, "Right there. Uhhh, right there baby, faster."

I moved my hand faster as I whispered lowly in his ear, "Like that, baby? You gonna come for me, Dean?"

He moaned loudly as he bucked his hips against my hand, groaning as a dull pain shot up his side with every thrust. I ghosted my lips over his ear, and I saw him shiver, "Right now, Dean. I want you to come now."

He clenched his teeth together and I heard him grunt as he came with thick white stripes painting his chest and stomach. I stroked him a few more times, causing his hips to twitch from the sensitivity. His chest heaved as he let his head drop against the pillow with flushed cheeks.

I kissed his cheek softly and his eyes fluttered open to meet mine as I pulled away. He grinned sheepishly before throwing an arm over his face to hide behind. I couldn't help but smile as I moved to clean him up.

O.o

I groggily opened my eyes as someone moved next to me in the bed. The room was significantly darker than I had remembered, meaning we must have fallen asleep. I was lying on my back and Dean was... What? After taking a few seconds to clear my mind of sleep, I immediately realized three things. One, Dean was simultaneously moaning and grinding against my leg in his sleep. Two, judging by his hard length, he was clearly enjoying himself. Three, this man was horny as hell.

"Dean," I hissed as I lightly shook his shoulder.

"Mmmm," he moaned sleepily as he rolled his hips against my leg.

"Dean," I said firmly as I shoved his shoulder. He slowly blinked and looked at me confusedly through barely open eyes, "Hmm?"

I couldn't hide my slight smirk as I watched him slowly wake up, "You enjoying yourself?"

His brows knit together as he blinked again. "Whatareyoutalkin'bout," he slurred groggily as he moved to rub his eyes. I felt his body shift as he raised his arms. He looked down with confusion washing over his face again and I could tell he felt it too.

He seemed to be processing what was going on for a few moments before he dropped his head against my shoulder with an embarrassed groan.

"Please tell me this isn't happening," his muffled voice bellowed. I grinned as I ran my hand through the back of his hair and pressed my lips to the top of his head. I heard him groan again and he rolled over onto his back, away from me.

"Aw, come on, babe," I teased as he covered his face with his hands. He just shook his head, an embarrassed noise rumbling in the back of his throat.

I reached up and pulled his hands away, giving a light laugh at his rosy cheeks. He blushed even harder as he rolled over and buried his face in the bed. I pressed against his side, peppering small kisses up his shoulder. I heard him let out another long groan, followed by a muffled, "I can't believe I did that."

"It was cute," I laughed. He turned to look at me with doubt written all over his face.

"Y'know, in a weird high school kinda way," I finished with a grin. He let out a long sigh as he hid his face again, "You're never going to let me forget this, are you?"

"Oh, definitely not," I said smugly as I carefully wrapped an arm around his torso and tucked my head into the front of his shoulder. He dropped his arm around me with a defeated groan, "Perfect."