Author's notes: A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it's very kind of you and a real boost to me. This chapter has taken a little longer to write, I found it a bit of a challenge and I hope I've been able to put over the thoughts in my head.

"Austin, you know the rules. Stay in the car until I have released Maddy from her car seat and have come round to your side. This is a very busy garage."

Austin sits back in to his car seat with a thump, signalling how he feels about the rule. Patrick flashes him a smile.

"Thank you Austin."

Patrick lifts Maddy out of her seat, he bends and picks up the bag in the foot well, then closes the door and makes his way over to Austin's side. Austin is out the door within seconds of Patrick opening his door. Patrick locks the car, puts his keys in his pocket and takes Austin's hand. He takes a deep breath before heading for the elevator. He feels Austin squeeze his hand and looks down at him.

"It'll be alright Daddy, I'll help you."

Austin, being his usual perceptive self, had picked up on Patrick's anxiousness at visiting the FBI offices for the first time since the shooting. Patrick knew there would be many people there who will know him but he won't remember. To make things worse, knowing how offices work, the conversation of 'Have you heard what happened to Patrick Jane' would have swept the building and he'll be an object of curiosity.

Patrick admitted to Austin at being nervous about the visit, and Austin instructed him to keep close to him and he'll tell him who everyone is. According to Teresa, Austin is a celebrity at the offices. Not surprising, she continued, since he has as much charm as his father, but is better at using it. Teresa also promised to be at the entrance when they arrive.

And she'd better be, it's her fault he's here. He knows that's not a true statement and that it's something he needs to do. He's known it ever since he recovered a memory of being at the FBI, he's just been putting it off. Teresa did her best to encourage him but he was stubborn. Then at his last visit with the psychiatrist it came up. The conversation had started out innocently enough:

It was one of their couple sessions. After walking into the consultation room, Patrick waited while Teresa sat down and then took his place next to her. He knew the doctor would be watching them closely and what his conclusions would be. He was proven right as the session started with a report on how things were going between the two of them and what their feelings about it were. It had felt good to see the joy in Teresa's face as she talked. It felt really good to know he'd put it there. So much better than the disappointment he's been responsible for in the past. After the doctor had listened to Teresa he turned to Patrick:

"And how do you feel?"

Patrick took a deep breath and hoped it would come out right.

"I'm happy. It feels right being lying next to Teresa at night. I feel like…like…I'm home…where I should be. And I want to be there. Making love, I admit, has been scary, It's also been wonderful but not knowing how it was before, and not knowing if I'm still the same man I was before, I was worried that I would do something wrong, that I would be a disappointment. But that doesn't seem to have been the case…"

Patrick felt Teresa squeeze his hand, giving him support and registering her agreement.

"The intimacy we share has helped my feelings for Teresa to grow, and totally opening myself bare to her and only receiving acceptance and love in return has taught me that I can trust her completely. I believe that our relationship grows more and more each day to be as husband and wife. I..I.."

Patrick looked down at his hands, which he was rubbing against one another. The doctor encouraged him to continue.

"What is it Patrick?"

"I hate that I'm not able to give Teresa the same in return."

Teresa squeezed his hand again.

"Look at me Patrick."

He turned to face her.

"You have nothing to worry about, or to hate yourself for. You're giving me so much more than I dare dream about when you first regained consciousness. I know that you are giving me all that you are able to, what more can someone ask?"

Patrick nodded his head. Teresa turned to the doctor.

"Patrick's remembered a little of his coming to Austin and the circumstances and his boss Abbott."

The doctor's pleasure was written all over his face.

"That's wonderful Patrick."

"I've had bits and pieces return, I don't remember anyone else, or any of the work I've done, in my memories I was being detained."

The doctor nodded his head.

"It's a start, and a good one. It's another facet of your life opening up to you. It would be a good idea to visit the offices, if you haven't already."

Teresa jumped in:

"I've been trying to encourage him to do that, but he won't."

The doctor turned to Patrick intrigued.

"Why not Patrick?"

Patrick shrugged.

"I just don't feel ready."

The doctor studied him closely before speaking again.

"What are you afraid of?"

Patrick put on an affront.

"I'm not afraid of anything. This loss of memory thing is tricky and hard work and just getting through the day, concentrating on my family, is enough for me."

The doctor nodded along with him as Patrick spoke.

"That's true."

The doctor continued to look at Patrick, a trick Patrick knows well and has used many times. If there's silence, people will feel the urge to fill it. Patrick knew he could win this game. He looked down at his hands and inspected his fingernails to distract him from the doctor's gaze. He was horrified to find himself beginning to feel uncomfortable. He analysed himself to figure out why, it's never happened to him before – that he can remember.

It wasn't the doctor's gaze that was getting to him, it was Teresa sitting beside him. He knew she'd brought the subject up because it was important to her, and that she's hopeful that going to work will help. He understands why, it's most likely he's spent most of his waking hours there, with his work colleagues, on a day to day basis, there could be many possible memory triggers. Perhaps he is afraid…afraid of disappointing her…again.

As soon as he thought it, he knew that it wasn't the case. They're building a life together and that's what's important to Teresa. Any disappointment she feels will be on his behalf, because she knows how much he wants his memories to return. To feel whole, to not feel at a disadvantage, that people know more about him than he does.

Is that it? Is he afraid of disappointing himself? He immediately knew that wasn't the truth either. Deep down he knows what the problem is, he's just not sure it can, or will be understood. He took a last look at his hands and turned his eyes to Teresa.

"I may only have thirty years of memories, but they're locked in my memory palace. Every person I've met, who they are, what makes them tick. Every person I meet I have a reading on in a few minutes, giving me the upper hand, because it takes a long time to figure me out."

Teresa smiles ruefully.

"That's true."

"The idea of meeting people who've had the chance to get to know me, and my experience teaches me that some of them will not have my best interests at heart, while I'm going in blind, so to speak, makes me feel uncomfortable."

Patrick could see that his answer had caught Teresa by surprise. He watched her as she thought over his words, she reached out and gently stroked his face.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I wasn't sure…"

Patrick finishes with a shrug. Teresa smiled gently at him.

"I know you Patrick. You are still full of surprises, but I know what makes you tick. I know how you work, as much as anyone can. I understand why you do the things you do, most of the time, even when I don't agree with you. I will go through the people in the office that you've interacted with on a regular basis, telling you as much as I know about them, and that will give you a starting point."

Patrick pulled her into a hug, feeling relief, but mostly gratitude for this remarkable woman that he had the good sense to marry. He's not sure how he managed to be so lucky twice in his life.

And here he is, armed with the information Teresa gave him and with Austin by his side, but still feeling like he's entering the lion's den.