Just as a quick side note: I figured I'd point out, in case it hasn't been obvious, that Max is actually revisiting all of 452's memories of events, not her own. That is why she is noticing and realizing different things as they occur. But now... on to Chapter 6.

LOST IN A MOMENT

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the TV show Dark Angel. I do however own Retha from one of my other fics ITHOB. I am ignoring the runes in this story.

Author's Note: Unless otherwise noted, during all of Max's memory cut scenes, her current thoughts/feelings/actions will appear in normal font. The actual memories will be italics. Wherever possible, I've tried to group dialogue and such from the memory together in easily readable segments. However, most of her thoughts and monologues should be read as happening at the same time overtop of the memory segments (which would be happening in the background). Clear as mud? I hope not.

Mood Music: I highly recommend Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson for the memory segment that occurs later on in this chapter.

Chapter 6

Day 2 - 2025Jan07 - Tuesday - Approximately 01:30 am...

Max stood in the hallway, silently debating the merits of continuing on or stopping to rest for a while, as she could feel it was getting quite late. The memories she'd visited over the past five or six hours thankfully not taking a heavy toll on her at all. Most of them exceedingly pleasant in fact.

There'd been the survival training session she'd been on with her siblings back when she was about 8, which had actually ended up being a blast, despite being orchestrated by Manticore. They'd been tagged, transported and left isolated in a very rugged and remote wilderness setting for seven days in the middle of winter. Equipped with only the clothing on their backs and a knife each, they'd been given absolutely no food or water and left to fend for themselves.

But they'd been together, with an almost unheard of lack of supervision, so it'd actually seemed more like a vacation than anything else. She and her siblings had laughed and explored as they'd hunted for small game and foraged for edible barks, roots and berries. Even made their own temporary shelter. And they'd spent almost every evening relaxing and sitting around a campfire for warmth, listening to Ben spin all sorts of great stories to entertain them.

And then she'd got to go back to when Alec had taught her to play piano. One had been found in a large abandoned building a few months after TC had been established and it had been set up as one of their communal lounge/rec areas. They'd ended up there one night almost a year ago now, and she'd teased and cajoled him until he'd finally given in and shown her how it was done.

She'd been alright, getting the mechanics of it down easily enough, but nowhere near as good as him in terms of portraying emotional depth and feeling. But that could've been partly because of how distracted she'd been, sitting between his legs and leaning back into his chest; his arms wrapped around her as he'd moved her hands over the keys and explained the basics of reading sheet music. It had been a lot of fun though, and she still dabbled at it from time to time whenever they wound up there.

But she'd particularly enjoyed revisiting the time Alec had taken her away to Mount Rainier for a camping trip, after convincing her that they could leave Bran holding the fort for three or four days. Ostensibly, he'd told her it was so that they could have their own private celebration and well-deserved vacation since they'd finally signed the truce with the US government over a month prior. But in actual fact, he'd planned a very special and very romantic long weekend, taking care of every single detail so that she could just relax and enjoy herself for a change.

It still brought a smile to her lips just thinking about it. Despite the fact that it'd been the middle of August, it'd been surprisingly quiet and secluded, seeming almost as if they had the entire park to themselves. Not very many people willing nowadays to spare the gas it'd require getting there and back.

So they'd hiked and explored at their leisure, just soaking in the beauty of everything around them, and talking and laughing about all sorts of things along the way. And he'd absolutely doted on her the entire trip, being even more attentive and affectionate than usual and catering to her every whim and fantasy. They'd made love so many times and in so many new and interesting places. Up on a cliff top as the sun had slowly risen around them, and in one of the waterfall pools where they'd stopped to skinny-dip, neither of them having tried it before; and even in a luminescent ice cave they'd found purely by accident.

Her favorite time though, and the one she'd re-experienced, being on their second night there, when they'd set up camp on the edge of a wildflower meadow by Tipsoo Lake. After they'd eaten and cleaned up, and been about to settle in by the campfire for a romantic evening, Alec had surprised her by getting down on one knee and proposing transgenic style; offering his neck to her and pledging his love and fidelity and protection to her for the rest of his life. Swearing to her that she'd never want for anything if there were any way he could possibly provide it, and asking with his heart shining up at her from his dazzling green eyes if she'd consent to mate with him and make him the happiest man alive.

It'd taken her a second to catch her breath and realize he was drop-dead serious, that he hadn't been kidding around at all with the broad hints and suggestions he'd been dropping the past few months, as she'd feared he might've possibly been, too scared to actually get her hopes up. But then she'd given him a radiant smile and nodded, saying "Yes," before tugging him up and into her arms for a kiss.

They hadn't even bothered with the tent they'd pitched, much preferring to lie together under the vast splendor of the stars. The moon gracing them with her luminous blessing as well. Alec had opened up one of their sleeping bags and laid it out in the middle of the field, and with the sweet scents of the wildflowers floating on a gentle breeze around them, and the soft grass and moss blanketing their bodies; they'd claimed each other and consummated their union before all of heaven and earth.

Sighing blissfully and smiling at the memory, Max slowly came back to herself. Taking another look around at all the arches, she shrugged and decided to hit one more before stopping for the night, as she really wasn't feeling all that tired at the moment. Stepping through the closest portal, she frowned and stopped in her tracks when the mist dissipated to reveal nothing but a cold pitch-black void around her. The air so chill, she could've sworn she'd be able to see her breath. If she'd been able to see that is.

~Plink~

"What the hell?" Turning around in a circle, she strained her eyes as hard as she could, but couldn't pick up the source of the sound. Or anything at all in fact. Not even the slightest hint as to what this memory might be. Except...

~Plink~

And there it was again. The sound of... water? Dripping somewhere? Maybe into something metal? She cocked her head to the side, listening intently to the slow but steady noise, and trying to place the other low-pitched buzzing and ticking sound in the background as well. Drawing in a deep breath as she tried to concentrate, she nearly gagged on the sickening aroma that filled her nostrils.

Blood.

The smell of it was everywhere now that she was starting to focus more on her other senses, initially overwhelming the other cloying odors around her, and it sent a shiver running down her spine. Especially when she identified the taint of sweat and fear and urine lingering as well. And the musky scent of semen.

But before she could fully process those things, she heard a low moan come from somewhere directly behind her. And then a hint of light illuminated a tiny fraction of the floor in front of her, only to swiftly blink back out again. After a few seconds, and another groggy moan, the light blinked again and returned, filtering in through a small barred grate on the wall to her right near the end of the room. Her vision narrowed and bleary at first, almost as if she were looking through someone else's eyes. As if someone were shining a rather dim flashlight and slowly casting it over the contents of the room, directing her sight and burning the afterimages into her retinas.

The grey of the walls and ceiling was bleak and unrelenting, slowly resolving itself into concrete in her mind, and after a moment she realized the dark-brown splotches that stained the equally grey floor likely weren't made by paint. And she swallowed hard and moaned herself as she started to grasp where she likely was and what it all meant. And why she couldn't recall ever being here.

Her hands began to tremble as she clutched nervously at the silk collar of her robe, pulling it tighter around herself in an instinctive protective gesture. The descriptions from the previous victims beginning to flash through her head unbidden, matching themselves up one by one with the images slowly materializing out of the gloom around her. The concrete room and the metal door that the grate was set in. The toilet and sink. The floor drains. The hooks and chains. The metal racks. The sex toys and hideously obscene torture devices. All of it inexorably coalescing into nightmarish proportions.

She started hyperventilating and mumbling "No" to herself over and over again when the directed vision swung down to focus on unmistakably teal fabric. Then slowly lifted to trace feminine arms; cataloging the heavy steel manacles encircling each wrist and following each chain up toward the high ceiling. Slender fingers grabbing onto the chains and tugging hard against the spot where each was strung through a loop in the ceiling and then bolted back down to the floor; finding them more than solid enough. The gaze glancing back down at ankles that were bound just as securely and tracing their chains to thick bolts in the floor as well, although there was plenty of slack in those.

A primal cry of terror and distress resounded behind her, making the hair stand up on the back of her neck. Followed closely by the sounds of a fierce struggle arising, the chains rattling and clinking in protest. And then she felt it, a surge of sensations welling up out of nowhere. First and foremost being the cold hard steel of the manacles, chafing and biting into her wrists where they supported her full weight.

Shutting her eyes on a matching cry of her own, and grabbing at her head at the sudden pain manifesting there, she gulped and slowly forced them open again. Turning around with dread, not wanting to see, but knowing what she was going to find, she saw herself hanging from the ceiling, wrestling feverishly with her bonds, her legs kicking out wildly as she pulled with all her weight. And she realized with a stunned and sick kind of horror that her double must have accidently touched her, probably kicked her, as she could feel her pain and terror. The memory she'd somehow managed to repress surging implacably to the fore once more…

2025Jan06 - Monday - Approximately Noon

Thin trails of blood snaked down her arms as she yanked frantically at the manacles encircling her wrists, sharp gasping breaths ripping viciously through her chest as she thrashed and flailed, straining over and over again to pull her hands free. Her skin scraping and tearing to no avail as her bones simply refused to cooperate and slip through the too small openings, not even once they were coated and slippery with her own blood. Hysterical sobs starting to wrack her body as she realized there'd be no escape. Not this time. And no dashingly cocky hero bursting in at the last minute to miraculously save her either.

"NO!" She screamed, terror coursing through her as she scuttled backward into the inky darkness and along the edges of the room, frantic to find some escape from the hellish reality bombarding her. "Somebody help me! Let me out of here! Please!"

Racing over to the door, she pounded her fists and slammed her body desperately against it, fingers scrabbling trying to open it, but it was no use. She couldn't even see anything outside the door, despite the flickering fluorescent light that she knew had to be outside it. And with some insanely detached part of her brain, she realized it was probably because she'd never made it to the door to see past it in reality.

Finally backing herself up into a corner, she sunk down into a crouch, huddling in on herself and sobbing hysterically as she rubbed at her stinging and burning wrists, "God NO! Please! This can't be happening! I'll do anything! Just get me out of here! Please! ALEC!"

Eventually she quieted, becoming almost numb as she began to accept that no one would be coming to her aid, that she was stuck here until the memory played out, no matter how much she might wish and pray otherwise. Her attention finally drawn reluctantly back to her own body hanging about two feet off the floor in the center of the room. The struggle there having abated a bit as well, as her doppelganger muttered disturbingly, seemingly having some sort of conversation… With herself. Or, well, at least a part of herself, she realized suddenly, her eyes widening as she was struck by a moment of stunning and disconcerting clarity. Her head throbbing in ever increasing agony as she took it all in.

The calmer and much more rational voice of her inner soldier, of 452, soothing, "You need to calm down Max. You're only gonna hurt us, or hurt the baby if you keep this up."

Her own panic-stricken voice, panting and answering, "Can't. Can't lose it."

"That's right Max. So just calm down, alright."

"Gotta get outta here. Need to get free... Maybe overpower him…" the words slipping past her trembling lips in a whimper of pitiable desperation, as her wild eyes tore the room apart, looking for any means of escape.

"Ain't gonna happen, Max. And you know it." 452 shook her head sadly, as she admitted, "This guy's way too good to screw up that easily. So just let me-"

"No! Can't do this… Can't handle this… Never gonna be the same…" She interrupted, her head shaking back and forth in denial as she started to hyperventilate once more, pulling roughly at her bonds. "Gonna lose everything that matters."

452's voice hardening, trying to get through to her, "Max! You've got to try to hold it together. I swear I'll take care of this. Haven't I always taken care of you?"

But she wasn't listening, still too frantic, too upset. She couldn't make sense of anything, her brain running off on yet another tangent. "Alec. Oh God, I need you. Love you so much. Can't lose you. Can't survive without you. Not anymore."

"You won't have to. He loves you." 452 reassured, as optimistically as she could.

"But he might leave. Most of the other mates have." she cried.

"Not all of them though." When that got no more than a whimper in response, 452 continued, "You gotta trust him. You know he loves you. There's no way he'd leave."

She just shook her head though, too terrified to be rational, "I always lose the ones I love. So why should this be any different?" And suddenly a wave of cramps hit, and she sobbed, "Oh God no, not the baby! Can't lose you too. Only thing I might have left of Alec."

"It won't be."

"You can't be sure of that!" She almost shrieked at herself.

"Just don't worry, okay? I'll take care of everything. You know I can. I always do. I'll make sure the baby stays safe Max. I promise." 452's voice ringing with strength and conviction.

Finally starting to calm a bit, as the inevitability of it all started to sink in, she muttered, "Can't fight him though. Lose it for sure. He hurt the others real bad when they tried."

"I know. And I'll try my damnedest not to, even if it kills me. But you know you can't do this. You'll never make it. Not for as long as this is gonna take."

She sniffled and nodded, her voice cracking as she acknowledged her own limitations. "I know."

"And there's no way I can control both our instincts to fight, not at the same time, so I'm gonna have to try to make you go away for a little while." Trying to inject some optimism into the situation, 452 said, "Who knows, maybe it'll even help protect you. Keep you from going through this."

She wasn't holding out much hope on that though. Her luck never having been that great. "Fine. But if something happens… If we do lose the baby…" Her voice trailed off sadly and she shook her head. "I don't wanna come back, not to become some timid and pathetic little shell of myself with no mate, and no baby! Do you hear me!? Can I trust you to do what'll need to be done? To end things?"

Not really thinking it necessary, and not wanting to believe that Alec would actually leave them, 452 sighed and hesitantly murmured, "Ok."

Not convinced at all that she meant it, Max sobbed, "No! Promise me that you'll do it! That you'll end it if we lose the baby!" The sheer command and desperation in her voice forcing the other's hand.

Determined to see this through now and protect their baby at all costs, so that hopefully it wouldn't ever become necessary, 452 vowed, "I promise. I swear it on our baby's life."

Max gasped, barely able to believe what she was seeing and hearing and feeling. Even though the words spoken had pretty much mirrored the conflicting thoughts she'd had herself out in the hallway earlier, when this had all been merely speculation. And all she could think, after watching herself argue with herself in two bizarrely separate voices and attitudes, was: This is it. I've gone insane. Completely lost it. Maybe I'm more like Ben than I ever imagined.

And then both she and her doppelganger froze, pure and utter silence overcoming them all, as they heard a far off creaking noise of something opening, and then a low menacing laugh ring out. A shudder of sheer dread and fear wracking her body as she realized what that sound heralded. And that she'd heard that exact same sound before, during her initial memory on the beach.

Stark panic was etched clearly on her ashen face, her lips trembling violently, her eyes huge as she stared at the door, utterly petrified. And then it was gone. In an instant, a blank mask dropped over her face as 452 shut every single aspect of Max down and forcibly took over, shunting her alter ego off to a safer place inside her memories.

Max screamed and clutched desperately at her head, almost throwing up as a debilitating stab of pain sliced through her brain, feeling as if she were being torn apart from the inside out. And just as suddenly as it had hit, the pain relented, leaving her gasping for breath, but allowing her to think clearly once more. Blinking back tears as she forced herself to look back up again, she frowned when she realized she had absolutely no clue anymore of what was going to happen. Beyond the obvious that is. Her memory of these events completely non-existent. And then she realized they had to be 452's.

Trying to brace herself, 452 gave herself a rushed, if whispered, pep talk, her eyes trained warily on the door as she could hear the echo of his footsteps slowly advancing toward her. "Alright, you can do this soldier. You can handle this. After all, how bad can it really be after all the torture and shit that Manticore put us through. No big deal, right? You can tough this out. It's only 5 days." Her chin lifting resolutely as her eyes hardened into steel.

After a minute, she heard the lock click open and watched as the door swung inward with a harsh creak, letting in a flood of light and blinding her temporarily. She blinked rapidly to clear her vision, then watched as his massive shadow entered first, followed by the man himself. His legs clad in black leather boots and chaps with the crotch completely cut out; his cock already obscenely erect, sick bastard that he obviously was. The muscles of his bare chest and arms rippling and flexing with barely contained power; his hands held in loose fists at his sides, already safely ensconced in a pair of black leather gloves.

His head was covered as well in a black leather mask that completely encased his head from the base of his neck up, concealing his hair and the vast majority of his features. Large slits cut out only for his ears, mouth, nostrils and eyes. Although with the way the mask protruded down and out over his eyebrows, and the way he'd painted the skin surrounding his eyes completely black, it was impossible to see more than the glint of his eyes. They were too overshadowed to be able to make out anything else.

Breathing as slowly and as evenly as she could manage, she tried to remain calm, examining every minute detail about him carefully and looking for any opportunity she might get to free herself. She narrowed her eyes to protect them as she watched him move to flick on the light switch by the door, throwing everything around them into sharp relief as the room lit up. The metal torture racks positively gleaming and reflecting the light.

"Welcome to your new home darlin'." He rasped out in a strangely altered voice, then grinned when he noticed the blood trailing thickly down her arms. "Found out you can't get free, hmmm? And that you're mine to do with as I please now?" He laughed, and then turned and grabbed a long narrow-bladed knife off the far wall.

Please go to my LJ (see profile) for the continuation of this chapter as it is higher rated than FFN will allow.