Liss3100: thank you

Crazypoptartdude: Ah, thank you. Sebastian meet Clary? Hm, I'm sure I could work that in. Angry Jace, yay, haha.

lindsayhonaker: Glad you liked it

Daire123: Thank you. The only reason I didn't include Clary's thoughts last chapter is because that's what this chapter is. Like I said: it's the type of chapter I did a while ago- the insight into their pasts. Last time I split it into two chapters. Didn't I make that clear? I'll try to include the answers to those question in later chapters, for you.

riley207: hahaha Clary feels this chapter. If you get Clary feels that is.

Guest: haha thanks

bookworm12365: Oh wow, that's awesome. Thank you!

kayleighfur: ahhh yay. Well, my dad wanted to call me Beckham ,after David Beckham, if I was a boy but instead I turned out as a girl and was called Danielle (but I don't like ing called Danielle so I make sure everyone calls me Danni. Except my mum.) Glad you think so. Wow, that was a really powerful song! And it's super relatable, too. No, I hate it when people lie and it's annoying af when they lie about that, so yeah I know what you mean hahaha. I've only done my Science GCSE's and I got C's (shit, I know, but hey it's a pass so I don't give a fuck). I'm not a huge fan of PTV, although, I like a few of their songs. Awh, I'm glad you like it.

SuShadowhunter from Ravenclaw: Thank you, I'm glad you understand. I wouldn't know haha. PS- You don't? Luckyyy.

ToffeandFudge: woah, that's awesome! Aha, thank you.

Applefruit: Guys, this reviewer just threatened to hunt me down and make me write. Well, it's a good job I didn't abruptly finish this, isn't it Applefruit? PS- Look at AN at the bottom for an explanation.

He's so beautiful. Even his scars. Once upon a time- up until I saw his scars, really- I hated them. But on him, they're like battle wounds. Proving that he's survived over the years and that, no matter what, he will heal. I have to admire him for it.

I've spent the time I've been living with him trying to figure him out. I was trying to peel back his layers ever since we first met but being closer to him- in proximity and otherwise- makes it somewhat easier... and harder. It makes it harder because I don't have a sole aim to figure him out. Before, I wouldn't have cared as much if he didn't want to tell me about his secrets. I probably would have schemed my way into making him confess to get one up on him; some way to benefit the gang. But now, the only way I'll want him to tell me is if he opens up to me. I don't want to push him, I want him to trust me. I want to earn his trust.

I know he's hiding something. He has that practiced emotionless expression, like I do. He has that sarcastic façade, like I do, but it's much harder and thicker than mine. He has that charming way of talking his way out of things, unlike me I have to admit. And most of all, it's how good he is at comforting me. It's like he knows what to say to calm me down and the only way he'd know like that is if he had suffered himself.

I can't help but want to know how he's suffered. I want to help him. I want to make him feel loved. I have Jon, I even have people who I'm informal with in my gang- like Bat- I mean, they don't know much about me but I have them. Who does Jace have? I know he has Alec but who else? He's formal with his driver and bodyguard and such. Does he have anyone? Does he need anyone? Does he need me? Am I just another conquest? God, I don't know.

He's complicated everything. It was never meant to be this way. I'm not supposed to care about him. I don't do feelings, I can't afford to. To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed, as my father so gently reminded Jon and I constantly. I can't afford to feel things. It's distracting, feelings are distracting. At least with Jon, I have him near and actually on my fucking side. That's another thing. Jon meeting my mother. Christ, help me.

Back to the original topic; I never imagined being in a relationship- leading the gang was always my first priority. The only guy I really care about extensively is Jon. And maybe our father in some weird way. I never even thought about the possibility of being in a relationship, I've always just assumed it would never happen.

So many questions and it's all his fault; Were we even in a relationship? Did I want to be in a relationship? Could I be in a relationship? Did Jace even want to be in a relationship? Would we work out? I mean, as the leaders of two rival gangs. And what happens if we break up? Will he break off the partnership?

Call me paranoid, but I don't know whether I can take that chance. It feels like he's given me a new lease of life- and I don't just mean making me act like a teenager. I want to forget the past so badly. And I can't help but feeling like he's the future.

I am super super super sorry. I haven't updated it forever AND this chapter is definitely not my best- it's not even long. I swear this chapter has been so difficult to write. I'm not sure whether it was writer's block or just the fact that writing as Clary is harder for me but either way , the amount of time I've written and deleted parts of this chapter is ridiculous. Sorry for the length too, next chapter will be v long in return. I'm also looking into writing my own book, too, which also took up a lot of my time as well. PS- Has anyone read The Maze Runner? I've just finished the first book and I'm hoping to finish the rest of them by the time the film comes out.