My Darkness, My Choice, My Problem

Dick looked over at Jason, who was gazing down at the younger two with a smile on his face. Bruce had told him that Jason had promised his… darkness? that he wouldn't let Dick drive it out again. He understood that Jason wanted to keep his promise, but he wished he wouldn't. In Dick's book, Jason's health came before any promise to a dark entity with an unknown agenda. Clearly, he needed to talk some sense into his brother.

"Alright kiddies, time for all the little Robins to get to bed." Dick clapped his hands together, keeping a bright smile on his face. "We'll find out what Sora thinks of his new makeup when he wakes up."

Yawning, Tim nodded. Even Damian seemed too tired to argue, only letting out a small "Tt" of annoyance. Followed closely by Titus and less closely by Dick and Jason, the boys tottered off to their rooms. Jason did too, probably to read rather than sleep, but Dick followed him in.

Turning around lazily and spotting his brother, Jason gave Dick a glare that plainly said he wanted to be left alone. In response Dick walked over and plopped himself down on Jason's bed stubbornly. Jason rolled his eyes, though Dick couldn't see it.

"Really Dickiebird, you're going to prevent your poor injured brother from getting any sleep?"

Dick raised an eyebrow. "And you were actually thinking of sleeping were you?"

Jason folded his arms. "Maybe. Look Dick, whatever's on your mind, it's obvious you aren't gonna leave me alone until you say it. So spit it out."

Dick sighed and gazed at Jason coolly. "Do you remember how that battle yesterday ended?"

Jason frowned and cocked his head to one side. "I- a little."

Dick looked unconvinced. "Really? Tell me about it then?"

"I said a little, Dick, meaning the details are kinda fuzzy."

"Fair enough, but what do you remember?" Dick pressed.

"I don't see why it matters."

"You're avoiding the question."

Taking a few steps back, Jason leaned against the wall and contemplated Dick. "No, I'm not. You're asking questions and so am I. It's only fair. Seriously, what are you so worried about?"

Biting his lip, Dick forced himself to meet Jason's eyes, despite the sunglasses. "Fine. Yesterday, you saved us. Me and Tim and Damian and Sora that is. But there was something wrong with you. It was like you let your darkness take over."

Dick paused, but Jason said nothing, so he continued. "You were covered in the stuff, and you were being really violent. You nearly killed all those cloaked guys."

"They damn well deserved it." Jason mumbled.

"Jay, we were trying to talk to you but you weren't listening. It was like you were an entirely different person. And when I went to hug you, you know, to get that darkness out of your system, you wouldn't let me. Even when you passed out, you pushed me away."

Dick looked troubled, and Jason was only now realizing that this was at least part of what had been bothering him when he had found Dick on the chandelier. He hadn't realized that his actions the other day had been so traumatic.

"So your point is?" Jason questioned. But he was pretty sure he knew the answer, and he did not like it.

"Bruce... Bruce told me that you said you were talking with that darkness inside you." Dick said, his fingers clenching the bed sheets he was sitting on tightly. "He said you made a deal with it or something, that you wouldn't push it away anymore."

"Bruce and his big mouth." Jason groaned.

Dick jumped at his opportunity. "So it's true then! You did make a deal!"

"Look, Dick, this really isn't any of your concern, and I would like you to kindly mind your own business okay?"

Dick ignored him. "Jason, do you know how worried we've been since we saw you all covered in darkness?"

Jason was surprised to see real fear in his brother's face.

"You obviously don't remember, but we all saw you. You know that knife wound in your back? And those bullets in your arm? You didn't even notice them. You pushed yourself way, way too far out there. It's like you didn't care how hurt you got!"

Jason had had enough of playing dumb. "Think Dick!" He growled throwing up his hands. "There was a reason I fought so hard yesterday. If you don't really remember, everyone was seriously injured, and surrounded by bloodthirsty power crazy villains. I had a choice between dying with the rest of you, or fighting to protect everyone, to live another day. I chose to fight! And it's a good thing I did too or we would probably all be dead!"

Dick paused for a second thinking. "So... you made a deal with that darkness to save us?" This seemed to upset him and he was no longer meeting his brother's gaze.

"Yes, I did." Jason ground out. "And I don't even know why I am justifying myself to you."

Taking a long drawn out breath, Dick steeled himself for what he was going to say next. "Jason, I know we are all extremely grateful for what you did the other day, but..." He flinched as his brother's fiery glare intensified. "I don't think you should keep whatever deal you made with this darkness of yours. It… it can't be healthy. Have you seen your skin? And I have a feeling those sunglasses aren't for show. Jay, let me take that darkness away. Please?"

A tense silence followed Dick's words and seemed to suffocate both of them.

"Listen to me Dick." Jason said softly. "This thing that I am dealing with, it was my choice, not yours or Bruce's or anyone's. I know what I did, and I understand the repercussions. I get where you're coming from, but I can deal with this on my own."

"Jason" Dick said crossly. "You have never been one for thinking things through."

"That doesn't mean I can't!"

Suddenly Dick stood up, agitation clear in his body language. "But I don't think you are thinking Jason!" He said, voice rising. "This is darkness you are letting take over your body. What if it hurts you! What if it takes control like it did the other day and hurts Tim, or Damian?"

Jason felt a fleeting spark of amusement at how Dick hadn't included his own name in the list.

"You're playing with fire, Jay. And you have a way out if you just let me help!"

"It isn't that easy Dick." Jason said. He was surprised and impressed that he was able to keep his cool so well in this little argument so far. Not so long ago, this would have turned into a fist fight five minutes ago. "You guys don't understand what I did. Breaking a deal with a dark being that is part of you, that might not have very pleasant side effects! Did you think of that?"

Dick froze from where he was now pacing, because no, he hadn't.

"What exactly was this deal Jay?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Obviously it does!" Dick said exasperatedly.

"Jesus Dick, you're acting as bad as Bruce. Why can't you just trust me to take care of things? It's my problem, I'll deal with it!"

"And it's partly my fault you're in it!" Dick shouted unexpectedly.

Jason looked up surprised. Guilt was written all over Dick's face. He sighed. This was Dick he was talking to, he shouldn't be surprised. "Grayson you idiot. None of this is your fault. My darkness, my choice, my problem."

Dick was now running a hand through his hair in a way that reminded Jason way too much of Bruce. "If I had stayed nearer to you, I could have stopped it from taking over, I could have prevented it!"

Jason felt like banging his head against a well. "Are you kidding me Dick? There was absolutely no way you could have done that. We were fighting to protect the hostages remember. And there was smoke everywhere, and the whole damn place was utter chaos. You should be happy you're still here, not guilty about preventing something you could have never known about." Besides, if my darkness didn't step in I don't think either of us would be here to have this little chat. Jason thought the last part, but he believed every word wholeheartedly. He hated to admit it, but he owed his darkness the promise he gave it. Besides, he could live with the side effects. Maybe he and his darkness would have another little discussion about them later.

Dick felt extremely conflicted as he studied his brother's face. Jason really didn't blame him for what happened. What's more he was completely determined to keep whatever deal he made with his darkness. This conversation really wasn't going as planned.

"Look Jason, can we just-"

"Nope."

"But what if-"

"Nope."

Dick stared up at the ceiling in an attempt to master his frustration. Jason took the opportunity to walk the few steps over to his brother. Placing his hand on Dick's shoulder –merely to get the point across that Jason wasn't avoiding him – he said carefully, "Dick. Trust me."

Jason waited until Dick's worried eyes finally met his determined ones, showing at least a sliver of understanding. Then with one fluid motion, he bent over and picked up a pillow, smacking his brother across the face with it.

"Now get out of my room Dickhead, before my remaining patience wears off."

It was obvious that Dick wanted to say more as he backed away from Jason and his makeshift weapon, but before he got the chance, a sound came from out in the hallway that made their blood run cold.

"Good heavens. Master Jason? You shouldn't be out of bed."

Both of them stiffened and slowly turned towards the still-open door. Alfred was standing in the doorway, a disapproving frown tugging at his mouth, a tray full of medical supplies in one hand. He clearly did not approve of his charge being out of bed. Just as he was about to hand down his sentence, Jason quickly blurted out, "Alfred, Dick's disrupting my rest!" It was kind of true.

Alfred didn't believe it for a moment. Even if Jason's accusation was true, the electrodes and IV would still be attached to his skin, and the EKG would still be on. Dick knew better than to unhook a patient without express permission. Besides, Jason was wearing a sweatshirt, which he only would have needed if he was wandering the manor. The bed was plenty warm. He didn't know how his young charge had thought that excuse would work; he wasn't the butler to the World's Greatest Detective for nothing.

He conveyed all of this with a single raised eyebrow.

The boys winced. Jason dived for his blankets, as if going back to bed would erase the sin of being out of it, while Dick carefully sidestepped around Alfred. As soon as he was out the door, he bolted, back to his room. If he knew what was good for him, he would be back in bed and sleeping by the time Alfred finished with Jason.

Sighing a long suffering sigh, he walked to the bed. Jason had wisely removed his sweatshirt, although he kept his sunglasses on. Alfred busied himself with changing his bandages, hoping that when Sora finally woke up, he would be able to get at the rest of the damage he hadn't been able to heal. It saddened him to see that the marks that had decorated Jason's skin hours ago were still there, albeit so faint as to almost be invisible. As he finished up, he noticed that Jason hadn't eaten all the cookies he had left out. Probably saving them for later. He packed up his tray and left without a word. Although, a small smile did grace his features at the groan Jason let out when he realized that Alfred had taken the baked goods with him.

He disposed of the medical contents of the tray, but kept the cookies in case the other boys had been good. Damian's blankets had been disturbed in a way that is only possible if he had gotten out of bed. Tim's desk showed sign of recent use, and if the mug on his nightstand was anything to go by, he probably hadn't slept since he had returned home. As for Dick, well, he had already noticed that some of the crystals on the chandelier were askew. Perhaps Sora would like some treats.

Pulling his communicator, Dick quickly buzzed Tim's line. "Tim? You still awake?"

Blearily, Tim answered. "Barely. I was just getting to sleep. What's up? That thing with Jason still bothering you?"

Dick smiled. Leave it to Tim. He knew Dick wouldn't have called him if it wasn't important, and the most important thing, now that Xehanort and his buddies were off world, was Jason. "You know it. He seems insistent that he needs to keep his deal." Quickly filling Tim in on the argument, he continued, "I just don't know if what he's doing is right. He mentioned that removing the darkness at this stage might make things worse, but he doesn't have to live with it! If he would just talk to us, we could figure out something to help him!"

"I understand why you're worried Dick, but there's not much we can do while Jason isn't cooperating. I mean, we could strap him down to a table and you could go from there, but he'd never forgive us." A sigh came down the line. "We'll just have to wait."

"But wait for what Tim? For it to be too late? Because we've gone down that road before." Inwardly, he winced. Bringing up Jason's death in any way was painful. Using it as a comparison to what was happening with Jason now was unbearable.

"Not that long!" Tim said quickly, "Just until he realizes he needs help. You never know, something might happen that makes him realize that he can't live with this."

Dick was about to reply when a polite cough sounded from his door. Somehow, Alfred had gotten the door open without Dick noticing. "Really now Master Dick, first you disturb Master Jason's rest, and now Master Tim's?" Dick was speechless. He'd gotten in trouble with Alfred twice in one day. With all the British-ness the butler could muster, he plucked the communicator out of Dick's hand and pushed on his chest until he was lying down. Then, he pulled his covers up to his chin. Dick properly tucked in, the butler crossed to the window, drawing the curtains. Before he left the room, he half-turned back to Dick, and said, "When you're feeling better, we shall have to have a chat about the appropriate use of markers."

AN: Alfred is on the war path! I wonder what he has in store for the disobedient Robins. Also, apologies from Arrow! She said a new/old character would be appearing in this chapter, but because we don't discuss where I put chapter breaks, he's in the next chapter instead. Sorry from me too I guess.

Not much to say about this chapter. I really love the next one though. You'll find out why Friday. Probably. Anyways, until then, read and enjoy!