Chapter 11
Author's Note: The negative self-image/self-blaming behaviors that Max/452 are exhibiting are a direct result of the abuse they have suffered. My narrative is not meant as an opinion on their true character, or of rape victims in general, only as a window on how they tend to view themselves after such a life-altering experience.
Mood Music: Numb by Alanis Morissette and Running Up That Hill by Placebo
Present - 2025Jan11 - Saturday - Approximately 02:45 am
Max leaned against the wall beside Alec, using the current lull in conversation to try to get her thoughts and emotions in order. He and OC were both murmuring soothingly to a shaken and distraught 452, trying to reassure her and calm her down; while Retha finished up with her legs and moved on to cleaning and examining the other wounds to her crotch and nether regions, repairing what damage she could.
Of course, there were the occasional distractions. Mainly from Retha apologizing, whenever 452 winced or flinched away from her in pain or distress as a particularly raw area was attended to. The pain making her twitch and hiss as well. But none of it was piercing enough to permanently draw her attention away from all the discoveries she'd made recently.
There were a few good things that had eased her mind considerably. The fact that both she and the baby were still alive, and relatively all right considering the abysmal circumstances, was more than she had dared hope for. And knowing that Alec loved her and was determined to stay with her was like a cherry on top, giving her a sense of semi-security and hope.
"Or at least it will, if I can ever find my way out of this stupid shadow world," she muttered with a grimace.
But there was plenty of bad stuff as well. She couldn't stop thinking about the comments that had been made about the pear, and wondering what 452 had been forced to do to prevent being irreparably damaged. "I have a feeling that whatever it was, it's gonna come back to bite me eventually." The hurt that had been pouring off of Alec before he'd covered it up, making it obvious that it was a sore point for him, despite what he'd said to the contrary.
The nasty flashbacks she and 452 were both experiencing certainly weren't pleasant either. She'd already suffered through far too many of them over the past several days; the fragments of images and sensations so vivid and terrifying that they eliminated all sense of reason, riding roughshod over everything else. So while this ordeal might seem like it was over in some respects, it really wasn't. And likely wouldn't be for quite some time.
She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, "I wonder if that'll ever be the case."
Then there were the absolutely ugly and shameful things, the ones that made her want to curl up in a ball and disappear. For no matter how desperately she'd like to believe otherwise, there was no longer any doubt in her mind that she had in fact been taken and... and...
She paused to think for a moment before settling on the word 'attacked'. It was a good word, one that she could actually stand to say out loud with regard to herself. So much cleaner and safer than the other foul one that was polluting her mind, despite how insistently she tried to bury all thoughts of it.
Worse still was the knowledge that Alec had actually seen at least some of what had happened to her. The grim look he'd worn earlier making that perfectly clear. She was already having a hard enough time coming to grips with what had happened on her own terms, feeling way too vulnerable and exposed, so humiliated and disgusted by the things that had been done to her. And by the way 452 had submitted to their abuse; not that she'd had much choice. But how was she supposed to handle his thoughts and feelings on top of that? Having him see her in that sort of regard was doubly mortifying, making her wonder how he could ever want to be with her again.
She was still struggling as well to wrap her head around the other thought that had been plaguing her. The realization that two men, whom almost everyone in their community liked and trusted, were responsible for the kidnapping, rape and torture of their women. Women that they had served with and in Kaley's case even been in their unit. It was too horrific to comprehend.
"How could anyone do that - let alone two - and think that it was alright? That it was justified?" she whispered. "And for a reason as petty as revenge against me?"
She shook her head. "It's just wrong. So sickeningly and gruesomely wrong. Even without adding in the murders of Sam and Logan on top of that."
She knew she had only herself to blame though, no matter how much she might wish otherwise.
She had been the one who'd let them both stick around TC after all, despite the fact that they'd been so persistent in trying to wrest command from her and Alec.
She had allowed Bran to join her command team afterward too, even though she'd known better. Her instincts had been screaming at her the whole time that she shouldn't trust either one of them.
Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back against the wall. "So why did I allow them to stay in TC? How could I have been so stupid?" she asked herself.
She shied away from the matter of her mate's endorsement of Bran, unable to face that yet, choosing instead to focus on the deviousness of their ploy. Bran's in particular. For he had to be the mastermind behind all this; he was so cunning and charming, and extremely patient too. So many people had sung his praises to her over the past few years.
"But how did he manage to hide his true nature and intent so well?" she wondered aloud. "And from so many people? So that nobody ever suspected him of any real wrongdoing? He didn't even make our original list of suspects back when Jess was taken."
Trev was another matter, as he'd always been a bit dodgy and unpredictable. But at least he'd been more open about it. He'd never hid his dislike of Logan, or of Alec either, for that matter. And he had fixated on her for quite a while too, especially after that stupid heat debacle. She shuddered just thinking about it; the memory of his hands on her making her stomach turn. He'd caused a hell of a lot of trouble between her and Alec back then, deliberately baiting both of them by finding any excuse to approach her, and by shadowing her all the time. But he'd backed off and given up once they'd mated. Or so they'd thought.
But she knew now that it had to have been Trev that had beaten her and bitten her neck; his hot and violent temper so obvious once she knew what she was looking for. Just as Bran had to have been responsible for the relentless and methodical torture; his cool-headed and decidedly meticulous style shining through just as clearly.
She was distracted from her musings when Retha looked up at 452 and carefully cleared her throat to gain her attention; wincing and biting at her lower lip as she heard what Retha had to say.
Looking decidedly sober, she stated, "The minor burns, puncture wounds and other tears down here should heal up just fine given our advanced healing factors and a bit of time. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the deeper burns and the large bite taken out of your labia. There's just too much damaged or missing tissue for me to be able to give you a good prognosis at this point. Especially with the extra drain the pregnancy is placing on your system. Although there's always a chance you could get lucky and make a full recovery." Her expression and tone didn't project much in the way of optimism though.
She sighed and shook her head, "I really wish we had access to the nanotech infusions that Manticore used to treat this level of extensive damage, that way we could quickly set all this to rights. But with the tools we have available, I'm afraid there's not much I can do to repair it, short of reconstructive surgery. And even that might not work as well as we'd hope." Taking a deep breath, she warned, "You should start preparing yourself for the possibility of significant scarring in some areas."
452 gulped hard, her eyes closing briefly as she braced herself and then nodded stoically.
Retha grabbed her bag and moved up to 452's right side, motioning Cindy back so she could take her place. "I know it must feel pretty unbearable right now with all the exposed nerve endings, especially with how many there are down there. And frankly, I'm not too sure how well they'll heal over. You may end up being quite numb, or you could find it way too sensitive. In which case, we may have to explore surgical options down the road. Needless to say though, you're going to want to watch how you sit for a while. The added pressure will likely be excruciating while everything heals over."
452 nodded again, saying quietly, "I figured."
Placing a hand lightly over the least damaged section of her arm, Retha continued, "I'm gonna start working on your chest now, okay?"
"'Kay." She sniffled as she felt tears welling up again, the flashback of being bitten still too vivid and making her shrink back into the bed. Gingerly easing her right arm up out of the way, she covered her face with it protectively, wanting nothing more than to simply disappear, especially when Retha adjusted the blanket to expose her right breast for treatment.
"What is it sweetheart?" Alec asked gently as she seemed to wilt before them.
"I don't think I can do this." She shook her head despairingly, trying to block out the intrusive sensation of gloved fingers probing at the burns, cuts and bites around her bruised and distended nipple. "It was hard enough to deal with when it was actually happening, but to have it keep replaying in my head!?" Her tone, which had been quiet, started creeping up into hysteria.
"Stupid me, I actually thought I could handle it. I mean, no big deal right? Not after Manticore. After all the crap and torture they put us through, how much worse could this be?! But... It's just... I feel so-" her voice broke on an anguished wail as she dropped her arm all the way back over her head to look at them.
"I... I can't even begin to describe it. There's no word for this!" She barely even paused for breath, the fingers of her left hand gripping convulsively at the blanket along her waistline. "It's like someone tore a huge gaping hole in my chest and everything I am is hanging out, exposed for everyone to see, for them to poke and prod at will. I feel like I can't breathe and everything hurts! So bad!"
"God, I just need for it all to stop! I passed the point of what I could bear days ago. It's too much." She shook her head wildly as her eyes focused in on her mate.
"And it's so personal! At least with Manticore, you got the impression they could have been doing those things to anybody. Didn't really matter who you were. But this?! He hates us. This was almost as much about cutting you down as humiliating and destroying Max."
"He kept going on and on about you and how it was going to kill you to know what was happening and have to watch. And all the nasty things he said, and the things he called me and did to me... He was so angry! For things that happened when we were just kids, for things I couldn't even really control! And for leading us now."
"But why do that to the other women? I don't understand. What did Max and I do to make him hate us so much that he'd hurt them too?" She looked over at Alec beseechingly, her bloodshot eyes huge in her wan face.
"Neither of you did anything baby." Finally able to get a word in edgewise, Alec spoke firmly as he followed her lead and addressed them both, holding eye contact the entire time, all too aware of his mate's propensity for blaming herself. "This guy is one sick and freakishly sadistic bastard. He's the one with the problem, not you or Max. None of this is your fault."
She shook her head, unable to believe him; her eyes red and puffy as she choked out, "You weren't there. You didn't hear him. He blames us for everything! For psy ops, for all the punishments, for Renfro. He even killed Logan and Sam. Just to make a point! To warn Max to back down! And he wouldn't have attacked the others if not for us! So how can you say it's not our fault?!"
"I don't care what he said! Just because he blames you, doesn't make it true! He's the one who chose to pull this crap. You are notresponsible for his psychotic behavior!" In his determination to make his point, he gestured wildly with one arm, speaking a lot louder and more forcefully than he'd intended, and she flinched away from him in fear. Her eyes slamming shut as a low whimper escaped her; her head turning away as she instinctively braced herself for a heavy blow, her injured arm rising clumsily in an attempt to shield her abdomen.
Max recoiled, curling in on herself reflexively as her breath froze in her lungs. The sound of Alec's voice raised in anger reverberating in her ears and making her shudder; the vision of his enraged attack never far from her mind anymore, swelling in intensity and threatening to drive her over the edge.
"No. This isn't real." With effort, she managed to rein back the terror. "Trev is the one that hurt me; not Alec." She muttered doggedly to herself, shaking her head fiercely in an effort to exorcize the faulty memory, forcing her senses to focus in on Alec and her current surroundings.
"Shit." He swore softly, horrified as he saw the reaction he'd inadvertently provoked; the memory of that particular video haunting him still. "I'm sorry Ma- 452. I didn't mean to raise my voice. You're safe. I'm not gonna hurt you. Ever. I swear it, baby. Open your eyes and look at me."
She followed his demand immediately, too scared not to obey. Her eyes popping open as her breath rasped feverishly in her chest, her pupils blown, her whole body quivering in response to the perceived threat. Her lips moving frantically over and over again to utter the words 'sorry' and 'please don't hurt me' in a small hoarse whisper.
"Jesus." He leaned back into his chair, his hands retreating behind him as he tried desperately to get through to her, his voice husky with barely restrained tears, "That wasn't me sweetie. I wasn't there. I didn't hurt you. I love you and I would never ever do anything like that to you. Please baby, you gotta see. Snap out of it and come back to me. Please."
OC and Retha stared wide-eyed at the tableau playing out in front of them, the bandage she'd been about to apply hanging limply from Retha's fingers. Both stricken dumb by the stark terror and blind panic radiating from 452; Alec rapidly approaching a similar state of distress when she continued to cringe away from him.
When no strike was forthcoming however after a few long tense minutes, reason slowly began to seep back into 452's eyes. A hiccupping gasp filling her lungs as she shrank even further into the bed, her head ducking down as she murmured tremulously, "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me. I didn't mean to make you mad."
"Shh baby. Calm down. I'm the one who's sorry." He crooned softly, immensely grateful that she was coming around. "You didn't do anything wrong. And I'm certainly not angry with you. I love you and I will never hit you or hurt you. I promise, okay?"
Staring up at him warily for a minute or two as she caught her breath, she finally bit her lip and gave him a small nod, if a trifle hesitantly. Her eyes darting over to Retha as she sensed movement on her right, seeing her hold up a bandage and gesture cautiously toward her chest.
Max released the breath she'd been holding as she watched Alec echo her relieved sigh, almost melting into his chair as he scrubbed shaky hands over his face and then ran them back through his hair, in an obvious attempt to collect himself. But then she inhaled sharply as the bottom dropped out of her world; realizing belatedly, from the devastatingly haunted look in his eyes and what he'd said, that he knew exactly what had caused 452 to freak out.
Because Trev would have made sure of it.
She knew it with every fiber of her being in that moment. For there was no way Trev could've resisted the urge to flaunt his conquest in Alec's face. Not with his ego. He'd have sent that particular clip deliberately - gloatingly - wanting Alec to witness his triumph as she'd groveled and begged before him, utterly at his mercy.
She clenched her hands over her abdomen as her innards churned wildly, threatening to spill over at any second. Her humiliation complete. "Shit! You couldn't leave me with even the tiniest shred of dignity, could you, you bastards!"
Casting a baleful glance up at the ceiling, she cried, "Course, I should know better than to expect any sort of help or mercy by now, right?" She laughed bitterly, feeling the anger build and hope die inside her. "Cause it's not like any of my other requests have been answered. By any of the supposed deities out there. I guess I'm just not worthy enough. No matter how hard I've tried to be!" She slammed her fists against the wall on either side of her and sucked a few ragged breaths in and out of her lungs, trying to calm herself down.
452 shook her head despondently as she allowed Retha to resume her work, "This is all so screwed up. I need Max back. I can't do this without her." Looking over at Alec again, she murmured pleadingly, as if begging for his forgiveness, "I swear I only meant to protect her, to hide her for a little while, so she wouldn't have to go through any of this."
"And the stupid thing is, I actually thought I did good at first, that I was actually going to be able to keep her safe..." Covering her mouth and nose with the back of her hand, she bit back a sob, "but I heard her screaming in my head later. Not all the time, but enough. And when I went searching for her, when I came to in that dumpster? She wasn't where I'd left her. I can't find her anywhere."
"Well it's not as if I'm trying to hide," Max grumbled disgruntledly, even as something about that pinged in her brain. "I'd give anything to trade places and get out of here. All you gotta do is open the damned door, or give me some kind of idea as to how to do it myself!"
Looking a bit panic-stricken again, 452 muttered, "I feel so alone, and I hate it. I don't know how to deal with any of this by myself. I've never had to before. Max has always been here to pick up the pieces. So what am I supposed to do now? I can't do this on my own. It's too much!"
"But you're not alone. Remember?" Cupping her face carefully with just the tips of his fingers and gently tilting it toward him to catch her gaze, Alec declared fervently, "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I swear it on my life sweetheart. I love you and nothing is ever gonna drag me away from your side again."
"Me too suga'. So don't sweat this. You don't have to try an' soldier through any o' this by yo' lonesome." OC reached out and lightly stroked her knee. "Don't care what you be callin' yo'self right now, you still my boo, an' I got your back."
452 took a few shaky breaths, then nodded slowly, trying to let their conviction carry her along. "Thanks."
Max squirmed as she watched the tender display. While it was nice to know she was needed and wanted back, the more she saw the absolute love and devotion that Alec was bestowing upon her doppelganger, the more disconcerting it was becoming, which made no sense to her at all. A slowly growing fire smoldering in her gut, making her more and more uncomfortable. And it took her a few minutes to grasp why exactly.
But the simple fact was, she was jealous.
Of herself.
Because Alec was knowingly comforting her. He was fully aware that he was touching and talking to 452, that that's who was currently inhabiting her body and yet he was still being just as loving, if not more so. He was giving 452 all the care that was rightfully hers.
She shook her head at herself, more than a little disturbed and ashamed by her thoughts. "She deserves just as much comfort as I do, if not more, considering she's the one who's been through all this." Trying to talk herself down, she spoke a bit more determinedly. "I mean, it's not as if he's cheating on me, after all. It is my body, and in reality I suppose 452 is just as much his mate as I am, as she is a part of me. But… still…" She shook her head, unable to explain her mixed up emotions adequately, even to herself.
Pushing that aside for the time being, she watched distractedly as Retha recovered her right breast and switched to her left. Something kept nagging at her though, and finally it came to her.
"I heard her screaming in my head later. Not all the time, but enough."
"452 heard me." She whispered, her mind racing. "Maybe I can communicate with her, or find a way to join up with her again. Or maybe even let them know who did this."
Concentrating hard, she focused her thoughts on the number two and the names of her assailants, repeating them over and over both mentally and orally. Her voice getting louder and louder in an attempt to be heard.
452 lifted a hand to her forehead, rubbing gingerly at her temples as a pained frown tugged at her lips.
Alec leaned forward, his tone low and concerned. "Is this getting to be too much for you? Do you need to take a short break?"
"What?" She jerked and looked up at him, visibly startled and confused.
"I asked if you needed a break?" Alec eyed her carefully, sensing her focus wasn't exactly on her surroundings anymore.
"No. It's just..." 452 grimaced. "Got a killer headache all of a sudden. Feels like someone's pounding away inside my skull with a sledgehammer."
Worried, Retha grabbed a penlight and examined her eyes. Checking their reactions and ruling out any glaring signs of a serious head injury, she still questioned, "How's your vision? Any blurriness or trouble focusing? Dizziness or nausea?"
"No. Not really. A little nausea I guess." Exhausted, and preoccupied by the pain, she sighed. "It could just be the concussion. Or maybe it's something to do with Max? My head did sort of hurt like this before... when I locked her away."
"It did?" Alec asked curiously, trying not to get his hopes up about the possibility of it being Max.
Aggravated when she didn't get anywhere near the desired result, despite the throbbing in her skull, Max muttered, "Come on! There's got to be a way to get through to you." Wracking her brain, she tried to come up with anything else that might provide a clue. "What else have I seen?" she thought aloud, before a light bulb went on. "The knife wound!"
Moving over to the bed, she sat down beside OC and placed her hand over her double's leg, trying to strengthen the bond between them as much as possible, then put all her energy into remembering that first day, when 452 stabbed Trev in the chest.
Gasping as the pain increased, 452 grabbed at her head. Eyes clenching tightly shut as she panted for breath, she gritted softly to herself, "What is it?"
Completely ignoring her concerned audience, she focused on the sensations bubbling up into her awareness:
the slippery slide of fabric under her fingertips...
the coppery scent of her own blood...
the resistance and scrape of metal on bone...
the jarring impact of a heavy hand across her cheek...
the excruciating snap of her wrist...
Opening her eyes suddenly, she cried out, "Of course! I can't believe I almost forgot."
"What did you almost forget?" OC asked.
"Did any of the men show up with an unexplained injury early in the week?" 452 demanded urgently, still rubbing distractedly at her head.
"Thank God." Trembling with exhaustion, Max heaved a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax.
Retha and Alec exchanged confused glances, before she answered, "Not that I'm aware of. What kind of injury are we talking about here?"
"I... I stabbed him. In the right shoulder, just below the clavicle." 452 slumped back into the pillow as the pain in her head started to die down.
"What!?"
"How?"
Her face clouded over at their shocked questions, but she started to explain. "The first time he came in... when I was still chained up to the ceiling. He cut my clothes off with a knife and put it down on one of the tables. Covered it up with my chemise when he threw it aside."
"I... I thought maybe he made a mistake leaving it so close to me, but it was deliberate. I know that now. He... he was b-baiting me, trying to get me to react. He wanted me to fight him. He... he started..." Her voice choked up as she shuddered, unable to talk about what had come next and she took a few deep breaths before glossing over it.
"A-after a while... he pulled the lever to let me down, and I managed to get to the knife..." She looked down at her left hand, running her index finger over the stitches she could just feel through the heavy bandage. "Damn near cut my thumb off grabbing it through the silk, but I got it, just barely, before he got there too."
Her eyes closed again, seeing it all unfold in her head, her right arm jerking instinctively in memory. "I elbowed him in the face, so I could secure a better grip... then turned toward him and stabbed him... felt the blade catch and drag along the underside of his clavicle. Right here." Her right hand crept up to point at the spot on her own chest. "I pulled it out and tried to go for his throat again, but..." She shook her head, a lone tear sliding down her cheek.
"He grabbed for the knife and backhanded me, so hard he spun me all the way around. That's how my wrist got broken. He snapped it. He was so pissed." Her eyes huge now and haunted as she looked back up at Alec.
"I couldn't hold on to it... My hand went numb." She explained desperately, as if she were somehow at fault for that. "He caught the knife and threw it across the room. But I knew I couldn't stop... I had to keep trying... if I could just get to it again..."
"I turned and struck out at him, tried to punch his solar plexus and knee him... He deflected me, but he had to let go of me to do it... So I ran..." Her right hand twitched again, reflexively reaching as if trying to grab onto something. "I almost got it back too. I was right there. The knife was so close." Her voice cracked as a few more tears escaped to join the first. "Just two or three more inches... that's all I needed...I could've gotten it and killed him! I could have gotten free!"
She sobbed and shook her head. "But he grabbed me... g-got hold of my broken wrist and yanked me back... and it hurt so bad... I k-kept trying to get away, tried to kick him even with the chains weighing me down... but he s-slammed me face-first into one of the tables. Broke my nose and stunned me... I couldn't see or hear anything, my head was spinning so bad..."
"B-by the time I c-could, it was too late. He'd already shackled me down and g-grabbed this nine-tailed whip thing... and... and then..." She shuddered violently and whimpered, unable to continue. It looked like she wanted to roll over and curl up into a ball, although it was obviously too painful for her to do so. Her shoulders hunching in, her head tucking in tight and low, her hands twitching in fits and starts, her right arm coming up to shield her face from view again as she lost it and started sobbing inconsolably.
Alec reached out to her, wanting desperately to hold her and comfort her, but she flinched away from his hand.
"No! P-please. Don't t-touch me. Not right now. I... I c-can't stand it!" Her voice broke as hysteria took over; her whole body shaking with the force of her sobs. "Just l-leave me b-be. P-please."
"Okay sweetheart. Whatever you say. You're the one in charge here." Alec forced himself to sit back, feeling even more useless than before.
OC removed her hand as well and soothed, "It's gonna be alright Boo. We're gonna find this sonofabitch and kill him. It's only a matter of time with the clues you're givin' us."
Thinking about what she'd said, Alec tried to remember if he'd seen anyone favoring the right side of their chest over the past week. There were only 17 guys that fit the blue-eyed and single category after all, so it shouldn't be too difficult to pin down the asshole.
He sucked in a breath, suddenly realizing what had been nagging him about the one video. There had been a slight discoloration up near the man's neck that could have been a bandage. He struggled to recall whether he'd seen it in any of the other clips, but the ones before that had been too brief and focused strictly on Max.
Since the one in question had been shot late Wednesday afternoon, a good two days after the stabbing, the wound should have been fairly well-healed by then, depending on how deep it was. But maybe not, he thought, considering how violently the prick had been swinging his fists. It was possible he'd torn it back open. In which case, it might still be visible now.
Running back through the days in his mind, the only guy he could recall seeing even remotely touching his chest was Trev. And that had been on Wednesday night, when he'd reluctantly accepted his help. The adage - keep your friends close, and your enemies closer - had been drilled into him so often, it was hard to ignore. So they'd both been bent over tables studying blueprints when Trev had reached up to rub along the top of his sternum, rolling his shoulders a few times too as if they were sore.
Frowning, he muttered almost to himself, "But it can't be Trev. No matter his motives. He's worked all of his shifts this week. Was even with me when one of the videos was shot, so he's got an iron-clad alibi. And when I had him followed before that, he barely went anywhere other than his apartment and work."
Max sat up straight at his words, her hand still resting over 452's leg. "But it is him, Alec. Him and Bran. Think about it and put it together." She pleaded, even though she knew he couldn't hear her.
But he was distracted as Retha spoke up, sounding very concerned. "452, you need to calm down, okay? Right now. If you keep this up, you could start cramping again and put the baby at risk."
"I- I- c-can't!" She wailed, starting to hyperventilate she was so upset.
"Yes you can. Come on, breathe with me. We'll do it together, nice and slow." Taking hold of her right hand, she leaned in close and stared into her eyes, making her focus. "Deep breath in. 1... 2... 3... 4... And out. 1... 2... 3... 4..."
Nodding reassuringly, she encouraged calmly, "That's right. And again. 1... 2... 3... 4... You can do it. Just breathe and listen to the sound of my voice."
Continuing to count her out, she smiled as 452 gradually eased into a more normal rhythm. "Better?" She finally asked.
"Yeah. I... This is just s-so hard." She moaned piteously. "I just... I need for this to be over. Can it be over now? Please?" Her eyes shimmering as they pleaded desperately for a release from her torment.
"Soon. I promise. We're almost done." Brushing her tears away and squeezing her hand lightly, Retha murmured, "You're doing so well, and being so brave. I've just got to finish up with your neck and face and back. Then we'll let you rest for as long as you'd like. Alright?"
Taking another deep breath, 452 nodded reluctantly as she released her hand, the lines around her mouth and eyes tightening. Fixing a blank stare upon the ceiling, she struggled to focus on her breathing, her lips barely moving as she started reciting her barcode number silently, trying to ignore the hands touching her as she retreated further and further inside her head and began to shut down. For no matter how well-intentioned or gentle everyone was being, everything felt far too invasive now; some invisible line having been crossed in terms of her limits.
Alec cringed as he read her lips and realized what she was doing; the technique one they'd been taught as children to mentally escape torture. Glancing over at Retha, he saw her lips purse as she grasped the same thing and sped up her treatment.
Before long, Retha was ready to address her back, but that meant moving her. "452," she murmured, "it's time to turn you over on to your stomach. We're going to do it for you, as much as we can. Are you ready?"
"Just do it," she gritted out hoarsely, "so I can get this over with."
"Alright. Cindy, can you get her feet while I brace her ribs, and Alec, make sure you lift the pad with her when you roll her to me. Slow and steady, and as gently as you possibly can. We'll switch off at the mid-point."
"Right." Alec looked down at OC. "On three, okay?"
OC nodded grimly.
Max braced herself, as she watched everyone start to move. A surge of pain overwhelming her as every inch of her body cried out in agony, everything around her disappearing in a crushing wave of darkness...