We build too many walls and not enough bridges

by Isaac Newton

AMOC: Chapter 23: When Walls Fall Down

JPOV:

I took Bella's hand and led her to the dance floor. We'd spent all day together enjoying all that the spa had to offer. Neither of us could complain about this visit. Our bodies and minds were relaxed, our stomachs were full from the rich dinner and the bottles of wine we shared in the hotel's five star restaurant.

"Mmm...I think I might be tipsy." Bella giggled with her head pressed against my chest.

"Yeah, me too." I admitted as a goofy smile covered my face.

"Is it wrong of me to wish we could stay one more day?"

"Not at all."

"Good. Cause I really hate feeling guilty."

"Trust me in a few days you will beg me to bring you back here."

Soon we would be forced to deal with Edward and the courts decision on who would win full custody of Charlotte. I didn't want to dare imagine the worst outcome because there was no way I was going to walk away and allow Edward to be near Bella's daughter. If killing him was what it would take, then I was on the verge of committing the crime myself. He was a despicable man who not only hurt the people he loved but everyone else too. He wasn't capable of showing kindness, compassion or love to anyone and that wasn't the sort of man who deserved to raise a child as beautiful and pure as Charlotte.

"I know." Bella sighed sadly.

My smile began to slip away but I forced it back in place when Bella leaned up to look up at me.

"You are a good dancer. I bet you've swept many women off of their feet dancing with them."

Staring into her eyes I wondered where she was leading with this question. Was she suddenly interested in the number of lovers I'd taken over the years or perhaps she feared that this was all an act. Sure, I'd charmed women with my dancing skills but that wasn't the only thing that kept them always wanting more.

"I have but none of them ever stood a real chance with me. Not the way they hoped for." I gulped hard as I spoke from my heart.

"Oh." She pressed her lips together and moved her head back toward my chest but then suddenly stopped and looked back up at me.

"I really wish that you would explain to me why you let your past break up with Lauren ruin your future happiness."

"What?" I was confused.

"Lauren. There was more to your break up and I don't know why you are so afraid to tell me. I wouldn't ever betray your trust or judge you."

"I know you wouldn't. It's just that...for a long time I tried to pretend it never happened. Talking about it only makes it real."

"But talking about it also helps us escape our past so that we can really move forward with our lives. " Bella stroked the side of my face as she gave me a knowing smile.

"I think we need some fresh air."

Taking her hand I led her out onto the patio area where it was still rather cold but I needed to clear my head. For a moment, I felt like pouring my guts out to her. I wanted so badly to release this pain that was a constant in my life over the years.

"Wow, it's pretty cold." Bella shivered.

Pulling her into my arms I stared down into her soft doe brown eyes and felt an incredible urge to just spill out all the pain of my past but then it would only create a sober and depressing ending to a lovely evening. I would have preferred an ending that entail her riding my cock until we were both happily exhausted.

"Bella, I want to share my past with you but I just don't see the point in it. It's in the past and can't be unchanged."

Bella sighed heavily before cupping my face between her silky cold hands.

"Jacob. It's time to let it all go. You can't let anyone love you the way you deserve until you let the pain go. You deserve happiness. You are an amazing person who doesn't see his own worth and I think it's because you are still locked in the chains of yesterday. Break free. Release your heart Jacob. Let me in. Let the people who care about you, love you."

I nearly choked on the air that filled my lungs as I listened to her semi confession that her feelings had grown for me. Was she trying to tell me she loved me? Or was her motive to show me that I was capable of being loved? Either way I knew she was right. The longer I held my misery in the cold chambers of my heart, the longer I would be alone in this world and then Edward and Lauren would have truly won. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't be miserable a moment longer, especially not with Bella in my life. She was like a warm summer breeze that I'd missed having in my life. She made everything seem better and hell, even brighter. Even when life was kicking her ass, she still managed to find hope where most would see the bleak side.

"Look, Lauren made a decision to end...her pregnancy. It could've been my baby. She told me she was forced into doing it but I really think deep down she chose to eliminate it, cause she loathed the idea of raising my child. Between her parents and Edward's dislike of me and her own selfish reasoning she ultimately made a decision that I should've been a part of." I heard my confession pouring out of my mouth like a spilled glass of wine.

"Oh Jacob I'm so sorry. I really am." Bella threw her arms around me and held me tightly.

"It was my fault. We were stupid teenagers and I gave my heart to the wrong girl. I knew Lauren wasn't capable of loving anyone but herself. I let my pride get in the way of good old common sense. When I found out what'd she done, I literally felt my heart shatter. I never wanted to feel anything remotely like love again. If that was even what we really shared."

"Wow, that's just...freaking crazy. I can't imagine your pain but I will admit when I first discovered I was pregnant with Charlotte, I had a moment of doubt. I just wanted to get away from Edward. However, I thought about my unborn child and how unfair it was to decide his or her fate. I just took things one day at a time and I was lucky to have such an understanding father." Bella said quickly as she stepped away from him and looked up at the night sky.

"You made the right choice Bella."

"Yeah, I did but look at where I am now. I might lose her despite my best efforts to protect her from her father."

"I won't let that happen. I already told you that I have a contingency plan ready should the judge make a fucked up decision. You just have to trust me, both of you."

Taking her hands in mine I lifted them up and kissed the back of each.

"You and Charlotte are my family and there is no way in hell I will let that devil get what belongs to me and you." I vowed.

"You really do love her, don't you?" Bella wondered out loud. Her eyes narrowed as she stared soberly up at me.

"I do. Charlotte is an amazing child and although for years I didn't feel that I deserved a child of my own, I love her like my own flesh and blood." I admitted while the corners of my lips curled up, making a sincere smile.

"Thank you." Bella lifted up on the tips of her toes and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"It should be me thanking you. I thought I was content with my life but now that we've been married, I've come to realize that what I had before wouldn't be enough. You and Charlotte have given me something that no amount of money could buy."

"I have to admit that I thought just having Charlotte in my life was all I could ever want but now I know I was missing something just as wonderful as Charlotte's love. You. I would be lost without you."

"Well, don't fret because I don't see me leaving you anytime soon or ever."

I knew it wasn't exactly the most romantic declaration but the words she needed to hear weren't coming forth. Not now. Someday perhaps.

"Same here." She smiled excitedly and I knew she understood what I wanted to say but didn't.

"I think we've both sobered up and it's time to go to our room. We have an early wake up call."

Bella took my hand and quietly we made our way back up to our room. Once inside the room, Bella surprised me twice in one evening. She stripped down naked and informed me that she needed me. I was more than willing to oblige and before we fell asleep in each other's arms, I felt the walls I built around my heart tumbling, brick by brick.

XXX

BPOV:

On our arrival Charlotte was excited to see us both. Jake was the recipient of the majority of her adoration when he present her with his gift. It was a fluffy stuff animal that would soon join her collection atop of her bed. We got home and while I went through the mail, Jake requested Charlotte's assistance in choosing a jungle gym to replace the old one. Jake was quickly becoming Charlotte's hero. I was happy to watch the two of them bonding.

Looking at the time I made us a quick dinner. The three of us gathered around the dining room table and were enjoying our light hearted conversation when Jake's phone began to ring. Jake apologized to us as he looked down at his phone. I didn't get a chance to ask who was calling because once he looked at the caller ID he left the room like a fire truck chasing a fire.

"Everything okay?" I asked casually.

"Yeah. Give me a second ladies. I need to take this."

He left the room quickly. Charlotte agreed to help me clean the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while we waited patiently for his return. It was nearly an hour before he made an appearance. We'd gone to the living room where I allowed Charlotte her movie time and I sat with a book in my hand but I didn't read even a word.

"Sorry. It took longer than I expected."

"Work?"

"Umm...yeah sort of." Jake frowned while sitting down next to me on the sofa.

"Sort of? It was either work related or not." I chuckled hoping I didn't sound too noisy but I could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. Something was bothering him and for whatever reason he deemed it necessary not to share with me.

"I have this guy back in my old office who was warning me that my ex boss's daughter, Alyssa was contacted by a private investigator. She told our mutual friend that the guy was trying to dig up dirt on me. Alyssa, didn't give him what he wanted and I'm afraid this private dick is going to continue looking up all my ex's."

"Oh. Who would hire someone to do that?"

"Edward."

I rolled my eyes sarcastically. Of course it would be Edward who would think of something so backhanded as investigating Jake's old lovers.

"What would he gain from talking to your past lovers?" I wondered out loud.

"Nothing really. Maybe he is hoping to find someone who will claim that I hit them or caused some other affliction that might put a dark shadow on my reputation."

"You didn't hit anyone did you?" I asked curiously but felt lousy when I saw the glimpse of disappointment in his eyes.

"I didn't tie anyone up and whip them with chains. Other than a slap on the ….bottom." Jake paused as he cast a quick look over at Charlotte. We were both relieved to see that her attention was too focused on the television program that she showed no interest in our mature conversation.

"You had women who wanted that sort of thing?" I scrunched my nose up as I found the thought of being whipped by my lover revolting.

"And then some." Jake laughed whole heartedly as I continued to openly show my shock and dislike for such a thing.

"Why would you want your lover to purposely hurt you?"

"Well, it's not entirely about the pain and the couple always has a safe word to prevent them from going too far."

"You speak like you have experience in this." I tease.

"Oh no! But I have some buddies that are totally into the whole BDSM. I get the whole control thing but I just hate the thought of causing a woman pain whether they desire it or not."

"So if I asked you to handcuff and whip me you wouldn't find it desirable?" I cocked an eyebrow before moistening my lips with the tip of my tongue.

"Are you making a suggestion?" He chuckled roughly.

I saw the heat in his eyes. Flirting with Jake came easily and it normally concluded with him between my legs and me willing and eager to feel him buried inside of me.

"I don't know." I admitted with a rough laugh of my own.

The doorbell rang and interrupted our fun.

"I got it." Jake winked at me before he got up and walked out of the room.

At first I didn't hear anything but then suddenly the sound of Jake's angry tone filled my ears. Getting off the couch I made my way to the entryway where I found Jake looking at his missing sister Becca. Her hair was a mess and there was dark circles beneath her eyes giving the look she hadn't slept in weeks. I never saw her look so upset. I drew closer to them when I noticed she held something in her hand. A gun. Why did she have a gun? And why did she look like she was crazy enough to use it on her own brother?

XXX