Quietus
Chapter 4
I've left the room where I felt like I was some kind of freaky sideshow attraction and decide to head out on my own. I wasn't getting any answers in there, only more questions and that frustrates me beyond belief.
I am a man who is used to taking charge of things. I've always been on the fast track, and I pause momentarily thinking before I came to Salem I actually raced cars, lived dangerously and loved the thrill that came with pushing situations to the uttermost limit.
Another reason I always sought to be around Samantha, she embodies my need to take things beyond the realm of possibility because being with her made anything seem like it could be achievable. She is the other half of me, the reason I came to believe I was more than just being the rich and spoiled son of Stefano DiMera.
Samantha taught me just because I thought I deserved something which was pretty much the norm for me growing up in one of the wealthiest families that didn't necessarily mean I was going to get it. I have never had to work so hard in my life as I have to be with that woman.
Yet even with all the schemes I orchestrated to win over Samantha's affections it took years for us to find true love. There is a huge difference between obsession to have someone in your life and the actual surrender of your own selfish needs to put another person first, to allow them their happiness even if it means you have to let them go to find it without you.
I had some very difficult lessons to learn along the way and I guess you could say I'm a work in progress because there is still so many things I need to figure out, but with Samantha by my side I will find my way. She and the children are the sole reason I will strive to do better each and every day.
Speaking of the children I wonder where they are because I haven't heard their voices. Usually Johnny is teasing his sisters and they are usually trying to outsmart him at his own game. My son has not learned the subtleties of how to deal with women yet, but I am sure my girls are going to make sure he knows there are certain ways to go about things without antagonizing them to the point where they seek retaliation against him.
The children are at such a good age, one where they still have the wonderment of a child without the cynicism that has colored my outlook for so long. My world changed completely when they were born.
Although I would be lying if I said I didn't want any more children, I long to be able to be with Samantha from the conception of a new life we could create together until it is brought into the world. So many things I missed by not being allowed to be a part of her pregnancies, but I can't place all the blame at her feet. Samantha had her reasons as to why I wasn't privy to those special moments, but maybe now that things are different we could share in the experience together instead of me looking on the outside wishing for a chance to belong.
I have so many things I want to do with the rest of my life with Samantha, but suddenly the fatigue and exhaustion I feel overcoming me is enough to make me almost stumble at the bottom of the winding staircase that leads upstairs to our bedroom.
I decide before I can do anything else in my quest to figure out what in the hell is going on that I may need to go lay down for a few minutes. It's like I can't go any further and it's a wonder I actually was able to climb the stairs and make it to our bedroom.
Well as I open the door to the room I share with Samantha, the place where we have shared some of the most honest moments of our lives together, I was hoping she would somehow materialize before me. I just need to speak with her, to hear her voice, to feel her touch because hers is unlike none other to me.
Yet she isn't here, the room is untouched although somehow the bed has been made up and I was sure I had left the bed unmade earlier. I'm usually not one to leave things a mess but I was in a hurry to go find Samantha. Maybe Harold had come into the room to straighten it up during my absence?
I'm too tired to wonder about it for very long. I just need to get to the bed before I hit the floor. Luckily I make it to the bed and sink into its softness even though I don't have enough energy to even pull back the covers. I'll just lie here for a few minutes. I'm positive my energy will return if I can close my eyes and get some rest.
Surely everything will be back to normal when I wake up and this will be like some kind of weird dream I can discuss with Samantha and we can laugh over the absurdity of it. Thinking of her smile and her laughter is the last thing I remember before I drift off into another world.
A world where she is with me and I am with her. Together.