Quietus

Chapter 8

I still have a hold of Samantha's hand and sure enough the Harry Winston emerald cut diamond engagement ring and wedding band set I gave her a few short weeks ago isn't on her hand. Instead she is sporting a rather small diamond, hell I'm not a jeweler and even I can tell just from this brief examination of her hand that it's not even a full carat. Yes, I know what they all say, it's the thought that counts, but damn it this woman deserves the very best life has to offer.

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm quite the snob when it comes to certain things, jewelry is one of them, well really I am snobby about a lot of things, but at least I'm being honest about it. I'm trying very hard not to let my disbelief show on my face, although believe me it is quite difficult.

"EJ, is everything all right?"

Her voice brings me back to focus on the matter at hand, which is that I'm actually holding her hand and apparently from the tone of her voice she wants me to let it go. I can feel her trying to pull that precious hand away from me and I don't want to release it from my grip.

Suddenly the image of that same hand slowly slipping out of mine grips me with a fear that overshadows everything else that is surrounding me. That along with the ever present weariness I've felt in my body is beginning to wash over me and I know I have to fight to keep it at bay.

"EJ, come on, let's go sit down somewhere and talk."

That's a good idea, I love sitting with Samantha, talking to her, listening to her views on things, why just being around her is something I greatly enjoy. Even during the dark days of our relationship nothing compared to the spark of life and excitement she brought whenever she was near me.

I nod my head and we both arise from the position of where we were almost crouching on the ground while she tried to pick up her things she had dropped, yet now she seems unconcerned about them as she lets them lie on the ground and leads me away from the main thoroughfare of Horton Square to a more secluded park bench instead.

Which is really kind of nice, that way no one can come up and interrupt us. So many times in the past that is what happened, those interruptions from others who prevented us from just being who we really were with one another.

I try to focus on her words, I really do, but when she reaches up to touch my face all I can think about is wanting to kiss her, yet I don't want to scare her away either.

Why does she think she is going to marry Austin? She's mine, all mine. It took too many years for me to even be able to lay such a claim out there about her because she fought it, fought me against that irresistible pull we always seemed to have, the gravitational force she tried her best to resist.

So instead of maybe driving her away by what she would surely deem as an unexpected kiss from me I ask her a question instead.

"Why do you want to marry Austin?"

She pauses for a second to give me a funny look before answering, "He's the love of my life. I've always been in love with him since I was a teenager. It's taken a while, but I've finally convinced him that he loves me, not my sister Carrie."

I shake my head in negation to her declaration of love for a man whom would have bored her to tears within a year of being married to him, the man was nothing if not predictable, he was too malleable for her, he would never understand the wildness that was simmering underneath the surface of her being. "You don't truly love him Samantha. He's the infatuation of your youth. Austin won't be the love of your life."

Samantha juts out her chin like she does sometimes when someone is saying something she chooses not to believe or plain out doesn't want to hear. "Oh really? So who will be the love of my life if it's not Austin?"

I want to tell her it's me, I really do, but I don't want her to stomp off in a rage or even worse laugh at me. Instead I say, "Just trust me, it's not Austin."

"Does this mean you don't want to be invited to the wedding? I was going to ask you to come since I thought we were going to friends with one another."

I answer quickly to dispel her oncoming bad mood by my prediction to her that Austin Reed is not the love of her life. I take her hand in mine once more, this time she doesn't seem to what to draw it back away from me. "We are friends; I mean I want to be your friend."

"I'd like for us to be friends too," she begins with a tentative smile for me and that smile of hers brightens up my jaded soul like very few things can do.

Little does she know we will be more than friends, she's my soulmate; apparently she just doesn't know it yet.

One day she will know though, one day.

Just not today…